Am I over reacting or do I have the right to feel this way?

[Starronda]

...a common symptom of many LHCF relationship threads. Asking questions when a decision has already been made and when responses are made that are not agreed with, the 'tude comes out.

@Starronda, gon' ahead and love you your less than affectionate man.

Wow, who knew!

 

[Starronda]

Stop blaming everything on being a Pisces. Not all Pisces are the same.

It's just a saying, not that serious...wow

 

[*CherryPie*]

That's not a saying. But YOU say that a lot in your threads. We all are not alike.

It's just a saying, not that serious...wow

 

[Starronda]

That's not a saying. But YOU say that a lot in your threads. We all are not alike.

I say it all the time, my friends say it all the time, it's a saying whether you say it or not. You're right, we are not alike, at all

 

[VeryBecoming]

but I do know that's something that I can't do without in a relationship. Not a deal breaker.

So is it something you can do without or not? This says can't do without but it's not a deal breaker...

Y'all are too old to be ignoring one another over this. Call and talk it through.

 

[Starronda]

Just needed to vent @ VeryBecoming. I'm actually calling him now to talk.Everyone gave good advice, I feel better and now moving on. I'm gonna take it slow and see if anything changes

 

[Mai Tai]

maybe that's not his "love language"?

Right! OP...ask your honey what HIS definition of affection is because you may be showing it in a way that he doesn't perceive. Call him and talk it out. Don't let this come between you all because it's an easy fix. You all need to hear each other out...ask questions...and make changes.

 

[hopeful]

If you have a higher sex drive than him (as mentioned in your previous thread) and you want him to be a lot more affectionate, I'm not sure what can be done about that. I think you will end up feeling unsatisfied because he is who he is and loves how he loves. You basically want him to change who he is. Staying with an unaffectionate man is for the birds. I don't care how many dinners he buys or doors he opens, if he is not holding your hand and kissing you often for no reason at all but to make you feel loved, you will always feel frustrated. And I certainly wouldn't want to chase some man around begging for more sex and kisses and hugs, and such, that can be demeaning. And I'm sure it's annoying as heck to him that his way is not enough for you. There are affectionate men out there and that's what you deserve. And some men do change and become affectionate, but they have to see how they are as a problem and really want to change in order to keep you and make you happy. But nagging just does not work. He sounds like a great guy and a great catch, but it's not your fault or his fault if you guys aren't compatible.

 

[Bnster]

Ooh I was going to say have great make up sex. Yet I think he will be on for that.

 

[PersuasiveBeauty]

You know what, never mind.

 

[shenitab]

The way that he is right now is nine times out of ten the way that he is going to be. My husband is not as affectionate as I am. Maybe it is the way that we grew up. My kids and I are very affectionate towards each other. I guess I lavish my outward signs of affection on them hugs, kisses on the cheek, telling each other we love each other. I hope they find affectionate spouses.

Either it is very important to you or it is not. If it is important to you and you marry him, that will be an area that will not be your optimal arrangement. It is something that you can talk to him about but it is hard for people to go against their nature/what they are most comfortable with on a routine basis.

Have you read the love languages book? My husband does have a different language than me. I think his is "acts of service".

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/