I'm just gonna do it: Who's married to a white man?

What race is your husband?

  • White

    Votes: 95 12.4%

  • black

    Votes: 189 24.7%

  • other

    Votes: 24 3.1%

  • I'm not married yet...Nosy *****!

    Votes: 456 59.7%
  • Total voters
    764
*Takes a deep breath* My husband is white and it was out of circumstance. Till this day, I have never had a well-dressed, educated, articulate black male ever give me the time of day- and no, I'm not stuck-up or anything like that, just the opposite. I smile at everyone that I see. It's like I'm invisible to them when I walk by on the street. I don't even get the obligatory black folks nod. The only AA men who did try to holla (and still do- why did some guy tell me the other day that he wished I were his babymomma?) were usually thugs who would spit some lame game to me that I know he just gave some other girl a few streets away. I even had a guy who said he just got out of prison that very day ask for my number once:perplexed .

For years I thought that something was wrong with me. I'm very nice, but no "eligible" AA man seemed to want to talk to me. Then, my now husband asked me out. And I jumped at that. I thank God that he is everything that I ever prayed for and that he seemed to want to get to know me.

There is no way that I would have faced being alone for the rest of my life just to say that I'm with an AA man. A good man, no matter what his race, is hard to find and we should open up our hearts and minds to all of the good men out there that we can share a life with.
 
XXXtacy said:
This thread is crazy. I thought it was cute at first but this is a mess.

From the poll most ladies are married to black men. What is all this foolishness about black men with AIDS, abusive, silliness?

Men are men. Crazy is Crazy. I don't mix crazy with my men. :perplexed

I would hope those interested in marriage would look for a man to treat them lovingly and want him to be a man of his word with great character and...........you fill in the rest. If people are hung up on the color then they are missing the point.

Marriage is hard enough as it is. Searching for a color or money or whatever, only makes it harder.
Click to expand...
You see where it came from....What did you expect a compliment or even acknowledgement of the strong black men that do exist:ohwell:
 
MuseofTroy said:
Um what is with some women's facination with dating/marrying a white man. Why can't the end goal but just to find a nice guy in general regardless of race?
Click to expand...

This is just what I was thinking. Check me and pinkskate's responses below. I feel like some people have the "grass is greener" mentality. But we all know what they say. "The grass is always greener on the other side, until you have to mow it."

cocoberry10 said:
Thanks you for sharing this, especially the bolded parts. I think a good man is a good man. Some good men are white, some are black, and some are purple:lol: I just went to a wedding of a young, black couple. They met in college, and she just married a good man. Now, he could have been white and he still would have been good. I am open to good men. Period. But I know that just b/c a man is white, doesn't mean he is good. And just b/c a man is black, doesn't mean he is bad. At least that's my opinion.
Click to expand...

pinkskates said:
Now, I must be honest and admit that this is not my first marriage. My first husband was black. He is a successful attorney, and an ex-electrical engineer; and as fine-looking as they come. And he too was a family oriented man, and very respectful of me and all women. As a matter of fact him and my present husband come from similar
backgrounds. Unfortunately, I was very, very young when I married him; and most immature. I had no business being married, so our marriage quickly fell apart. I think finding a guy with similar goals, morals and principals as yourself is the key to happiness and a quality life.
Click to expand...
 
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calliope said:
*Takes a deep breath* My husband is white and it was out of circumstance. Till this day, I have never had a well-dressed, educated, articulate black male ever give me the time of day- and no, I'm not stuck-up or anything like that, just the opposite. I smile at everyone that I see. It's like I'm invisible to them when I walk by on the street. I don't even get the obligatory black folks nod. The only AA men who did try to holla (and still do- why did some guy tell me the other day that he wished I were his babymomma?) were usually thugs who would spit some lame game to me that I know he just gave some other girl a few streets away. I even had a guy who said he just got out of prison that very day ask for my number once:perplexed .

For years I thought that something was wrong with me. I'm very nice, but no "eligible" AA man seemed to want to talk to me. Then, my now husband asked me out. And I jumped at that. I thank God that he is everything that I ever prayed for and that he seemed to want to get to know me.

There is no way that I would have faced being alone for the rest of my life just to say that I'm with an AA man. A good man, no matter what his race, is hard to find and we should open up our hearts and minds to all of the good men out there that we can share a life with.
Click to expand...

You look so pretty pregnant in your siggy!
 
thicknlong said:
smh...I knew someone was going to take this and run. And run some of you have. lol

No one thinks white men are perfect. That was some of you guys ASSumption.

No one thinks all black men are bad. I know of some VERY good ones. BUT they are VERY, VERY few.

So again, I thinks it's logical that one should expand their dating pool. That's all. And, that's my right without being ganged against. lol.

The problem is, many black women do not like facing the truth about their men. And the ironic thing is, most on here are single or experiencing problems with their hubby or mate.

The basis of my posts about MANY of our black men behavior, I have backed up by STATISTICAL data. There is nothing wrong with a black female being extra careful, because the facts show that the black male has a greater rate of carrying a DEADLY disease. AND in addition, this disease is transmitted mostly via sexual contact. AND many of our children are being raised without their fathers. AND many of our childrens fathers do not support them financially. AND most , i've been quote 70% of black females are not married. AND many of our black households are headed by single females.

NBC conducted a separate program concerning some of these trends in the AFRICAN AMERICAN community. Not america. Not the South. But the black community. Our community. They mentioned, the HIV rates are highest with us. And highest with our men. Why? One reason NBC cited was, a stronger level of infidelity. More of our men in prison, etc, so theirs a lesser number of them available , etc etc etc.

To support those statements and CDC statistics, I see these things every-single-day. Meaning, I witness PROOF of this as PATTERNS....PATTERNS within our society. Well, even worse, I see MORE of that than I see the opposite.

All that points to the basis of my posts.

So, if this is happening in our community, and I NEVER SAID WHITE MEN WERE PERFECT, i aint stupid. But, wouldnt logic tell a common sense person to maybe, TRY SOMETHING ELSE. I am willing to date the other race. Oh, boy, do they have their problems. White men are known to date other ppl in your family, incest, molest their own kids, etc. So they ALLLL have issues, common sense tells us that, BUT who has the LESSER risk in the context of what you are seeking?

MYSELF and FRIENDS are noticing, white guys are quicker to marry.

MYSELF and FRIENDS are noticing, white guys take care their families more (takes financial care of them, takes more time with them, etc)

MYSELF and FRIENDS are noticing, white guys are quicker to WORK and KEEP a job. lol and this means alot to me, lol

MYSELF and FRIENDS are noticing, as a PATTERN, NOT ALL (before someone throws that out there) if white guys dont want you, they can AFFORD to leave, so they will. Rather than giving you HIV and other diseases, plus a terrible rep in the community where eeeveryone is talking about you.

And no, I am not attracting a bunch of negative black guys. I really do the opposite. I do not date that much, because I sit back and observe. And, what I've mentioned about our men, I've seen . So much. With friends, fam, ladies that i know from school and the likes.


I've broken that down as much as possible to those who want to make an issue out of the situation.

Either you see it , or you dont.

Class is over.
Click to expand...


:clap: Real talk, I love this post!!!! I totally agree!
 
Thank you Coco and Ella! It's kinda hot here so the glow might really just be sweat (I'm just a huffin and a puffin all over the place), but you ladies are too sweet:look: !
 
thicknlong said:
smh...I knew someone was going to take this and run. And run some of you have. lol

No one thinks white men are perfect. That was some of you guys ASSumption.

No one thinks all black men are bad. I know of some VERY good ones. BUT they are VERY, VERY few.
So again, I thinks it's logical that one should expand their dating pool. That's all. And, that's my right without being ganged against. lol.

The problem is, many black women do not like facing the truth about their men. And the ironic thing is, most on here are single or experiencing problems with their hubby or mate.

The basis of my posts about MANY of our black men behavior, I have backed up by STATISTICAL data. There is nothing wrong with a black female being extra careful, because the facts show that the black male has a greater rate of carrying a DEADLY disease. AND in addition, this disease is transmitted mostly via sexual contact. AND many of our children are being raised without their fathers. AND many of our childrens fathers do not support them financially. AND most , i've been quote 70% of black females are not married. AND many of our black households are headed by single females.

NBC conducted a separate program concerning some of these trends in the AFRICAN AMERICAN community. Not america. Not the South. But the black community. Our community. They mentioned, the HIV rates are highest with us. And highest with our men. Why? One reason NBC cited was, a stronger level of infidelity. More of our men in prison, etc, so theirs a lesser number of them available , etc etc etc.

To support those statements and CDC statistics, I see these things every-single-day. Meaning, I witness PROOF of this as PATTERNS....PATTERNS within our society. Well, even worse, I see MORE of that than I see the opposite.

All that points to the basis of my posts.

So, if this is happening in our community, and I NEVER SAID WHITE MEN WERE PERFECT, i aint stupid. But, wouldnt logic tell a common sense person to maybe, TRY SOMETHING ELSE. I am willing to date the other race. Oh, boy, do they have their problems. White men are known to date other ppl in your family, incest, molest their own kids, etc. So they ALLLL have issues, common sense tells us that, BUT who has the LESSER risk in the context of what you are seeking?

MYSELF and FRIENDS are noticing, white guys are quicker to marry.

MYSELF and FRIENDS are noticing, white guys take care their families more (takes financial care of them, takes more time with them, etc)

MYSELF and FRIENDS are noticing, white guys are quicker to WORK and KEEP a job. lol and this means alot to me, lol

MYSELF and FRIENDS are noticing, as a PATTERN, NOT ALL (before someone throws that out there) if white guys dont want you, they can AFFORD to leave, so they will. Rather than giving you HIV and other diseases, plus a terrible rep in the community where eeeveryone is talking about you.

And no, I am not attracting a bunch of negative black guys. I really do the opposite. I do not date that much, because I sit back and observe. And, what I've mentioned about our men, I've seen . So much. With friends, fam, ladies that i know from school and the likes.


I've broken that down as much as possible to those who want to make an issue out of the situation.

Either you see it , or you dont.

Class is over.
Click to expand...

I appreciate you including statistical data in your response. And yes, the statistics show we must be concerned, educated and aware, not ignorant. And please don't take this as an attack...

BUT...I feel like many of your posts are always talking about the negative things Black men do. And there are many negative behaviors that many black men do...BUT...I honestly wish you would also open your eyes to the fact that men of other races really do the SAME EXACT THINGS to their women that our men do to us. It's NO DIFFERENT. TRUST ME. I HAVE LOTS OF NON-BLACK FRIENDS (WHITE, LATINA, ASIAN, MIDDLE EATERN, INDIAN, ETC.). And Honey, it's not different. They are going through the same things we are. Their responses to these things are just different. Good men are good men, and dogs are dogs. And what I do notice more with "Our Men" if I have to stereotype them (which I don't like to) is that they are not as discreet about their "ways" as other men.

Thicknlong, I've traveled the world over, and I've seen dirt everywhere. Go to Thailand, and trust me...you'll see DL white men, and white men sleeping with prostitutes that are between age 6 years old and 12:eek: . Sometimes you will see an old white man (with a wedding ring on) with like 3 prostitutes who are little girls. Go to Brazil. Yeah, now it's getting attention b/c Black men are going there. But trust me honey, white men have been going there for centuries (yeah, I said centuries). Go to Japan, and just watch the men there getting a "massagi, massagi:lol:" And there are so many other places.

Yes, we absolutely must be concerned about the high level of HIV/AIDS infections in our community. We simply can't turn our heads anymore.

I will PM you the rest of my thoughts, b/c I don't want to post them on here!
 
To no one in particular: See my explanation to adequate pages prior.

I was starting to get annoyed at what I saw as certain posters propagating the idea (consciously or subconsciously) that white men are above black women. As if, like someone said we have to "club one over the head", have some kind of special "something something" that "common" black women don't have, some kind of witchcraft to be LUCKY enough that one would DEIGN to marry us. :wallbash:

I live with a white man and let me tell you dude is human! :whyme: He is not a supernatural being who lowered himself to be with me, a mere woman. Black women should not view themselves as scraps or as less than other women. And that is what is subconsciously being conveyed when it is implied/stated that white men are above other men.

Rant over.

For now.:ohwell:
 
UmSumayyah said:
To no one in particular: See my explanation to adequate pages prior.

I was starting to get annoyed at what I saw as certain posters propagating the idea (consciously or subconsciously) that white men are above black women. As if, like someone said we have to "club one over the head", have some kind of special "something something" that "common" black women don't have, some kind of witchcraft to be LUCKY enough that one would DEIGN to marry us. :wallbash:

I live with a white man and let me tell you dude is human! :whyme: He is not a supernatural being who lowered himself to be with me, a mere woman. Black women should not view themselves as scraps or as less than other women. And that is what is subconsciously being conveyed when it is implied/stated that white men are above other men.

Rant over.

For now.:ohwell:
Click to expand...

Thanks for stating this, especially since you are in a relationship with a white man. As I said above, "the grass is always greener on the other side, until you have to mow it." Most of the women on here that are with white men, are also with good men. GOOD MEN. Period. And these come in all forms. There are also trifling men. And they come in all forms.
 
Ravenhairbellydancer said:
I find this thread personally pathetic and honestly I cant say that im sure why. Im the product of a much older white man/young jamaican woman. I find something sad about the way black woman esp the carribean ones seem to prize not only white men but any man who isnt black to such an extent, I just dont get it. I do not consider myself to be " a black woman" or a " white woman". I wasnt raised to believe that i was anything but white believe it or not. Obviously that didnt work out well. I am typically mistaken for hispanic , greek, middle eastern. Noone guesses me to be the mulatto that I am. I have no particular interest in "white"( american, euro etc) men simply becuz i am not attracted to most of them, i once dated one when i was 15 lol YUCK. I have never dated a black guy again becuz i do not feel attrction towards most black men ( i did LOVE black guys in junior high but NO guys wanted me then LOL). They are on the other hand insanely attracted to me for a number of reasons i wont disclose lol. I dont date a guy becuz hes white or black. I dont get wanting a white man or a man of any race but black just for the sake of him being non black, isnt that terribly self hating? Do the women who want white men want them becuz of sexual attraction or for a feeling of superiority?? Im not stranger to this myself in the sense that I have fetishized ( if thats a word) a particular race of men at times but it has always been sexual and only sexual...... Sorry i like to Bold , im not shouting ( i hate that rule)
Click to expand...

Sorry you went through this.
 
Wow! This is a fascinating thread. I don't think the intent of most of the people on this thread was to demean or degrade black men...or black women to exalt white men. And while I understand the circumstances that most black women find themselves in--myself included--there's something to be said about the prevalence of single black women. Statistics claim that a single black woman--regardless of economic or social status--has a greater chance at winning the lottery than finding a suitable black mate. Now, what these numbers mean by "suitable" is both objective and subjective.

The objective aspect of this is that there's no denying the numbers. The ratio of black women to black men is nearly 2:1 in most geographic places. In Atlanta where I'm originally from, for instance, I understand that the ratio is 3:1. In D.C. it's about the same. And there's no denying that the black community is confronted with a host of social and economic problems/conditions that render it less likely that black women (and men, for that matter) get married. The high unemployment rate, for instance, is an example. We cannot refute these facts.

The subjective aspect of this is that we are simply confusing circumstance with preference. If I were to say that I the likelihood of me being with a white man is greater due to my social/economic circumstance, that's different than asserting a preference for white men because they are superior to black men in terms of________ (fill in the blank).

I am assuming that most of us, including myself, would love nothing better than to have a nurturing black man as our life partners. However, I am confronted with a number of confounding circumstances that simply make the probability of that less likely. This is NOT to say that there are no good, decent black men out there. Or, that white men are "better," more committed to their relationships than black men. White men cheat. White men lie. But there are cultural differences between the races than explain why most whites marry and most blacks don't.

I live in Washington, D.C., and there's no question that there are cultural differences/explanations for why blacks tend to marry less than whites. Some of it can be explained by economic conditions, but when you rarely see black families loving and caring for each other in public, spending time with one another in nurturing relationships, it does make one wonder. Please...I'm NOT saying that there are NO black families like this, but when people started questioning the authenticity of Claire and Cliff Huxtable 20 years ago, we have to be honest about the state of the black family in this society.

Speaking of D.C., here's a recent article that was in the Post regarding blacks and their idea of marriage. It made me so depressed and upset, but this is a very real phenomenon. If you get a moment, please read:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/25/AR2006032500029.html

To those of you who are blessed to have found your life partner or soul mate, hold on to what you got...for dear life! ;)
 
UmSumayyah said:
To no one in particular: See my explanation to adequate pages prior.

I was starting to get annoyed at what I saw as certain posters propagating the idea (consciously or subconsciously) that white men are above black women. As if, like someone said we have to "club one over the head", have some kind of special "something something" that "common" black women don't have, some kind of witchcraft to be LUCKY enough that one would DEIGN to marry us. :wallbash:

I live with a white man and let me tell you dude is human! :whyme: He is not a supernatural being who lowered himself to be with me, a mere woman. Black women should not view themselves as scraps or as less than other women. And that is what is subconsciously being conveyed when it is implied/stated that white men are above other men.

Rant over.

For now.:ohwell:
Click to expand...

THANK YOU!
 
Serenity_Peace said:
Wow! This is a fascinating thread. I don't think the intent of most of the people on this thread was to demean or degrade black men...or black women to exalt white men. The objective aspect of this is that there's no denying the numbers. The ratio of black women to black men is nearly 2:1 in most geographic places. In Atlanta where I'm originally from, for instance, I understand that the ratio is 3:1. In D.C. it's about the same.

The subjective aspect of this is that we are simply confusing circumstance with preference. If I were to say that I the likelihood of me being with a white man is greater due to my social/economic circumstance, that's different than asserting a preference for white men because they are superior to black men in terms of________ (fill in the blank).

I am assuming that most of us, including myself, would love nothing better than to have a nurturing black man as our life partners. However, I am confronted with a number of confounding circumstances that simply make the probability of that less likely. This is NOT to say that there are no good, decent black men out there. Or, that white men are "better," more committed to their relationships than black men. White men cheat. White men lie. But there are cultural differences between the races than explain why most whites marry and most blacks don't.
Click to expand...

I can agree with this. While what's causing some to say date outside the race, it started due to the statistics, what is driving some to say this is due to anger at what they are seeing black men do. When someone says, white men will marry you,white men will hold doors for you, white men will tell you not to work and take care of you, but black men will leave you for a white girl, infect you with an STD, have baby mamas, etc. we generalize and really we cannot do this, even with the statistics. It's dangerous territory to get into, trust me. I know not all black men are good, BUT I know not all white men are good either. And as someone mentioned earlier, white women are having the same issues we are, it's just not getting reported. Just b/c you see a white couple doesn't mean they are married. And even if married, don't assume the same things are not going on in their marriages that go on in ours. I have too many non-black friends to know better. It goes on with whites. It goes on with Blacks, Asians, Indians, South Americans, Latinos, and Purple people. Stop wasting your time with trifling men. Start spending your time with good ones. If he's good and white, great. If he's good and black, great. If he's good and Asian, great. Good and Latin, great. Don't waste your time on people who are not worth it.
 
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cocoberry10 said:
I can agree with this. While what’s causing some to say “date outside the race,” started due to the statistics, what is driving some to say this is due to anger at what they are “seeing black men do”. When someone says, “white men will marry you,” “white men will hold doors for you,” “white men will tell you not to work and take care of you,” but black men will “leave you for a white girl,” “infect you with an STD” “have baby mamas, etc.” we generalize and really we cannot do this, even with the statistics. It’s dangerous territory to get into, trust me. I know not all black men are good, BUT I know not all white men are good either. And as someone mentioned earlier, white women are having the same issues we are, it’s just not getting reported. Just b/c you “see” a white couple doesn’t mean they are married. And even if married, don’t assume the same things are not going on in their marriages that go on in ours. I have too many non-black friends to know better. It goes on with whites. It goes on with Blacks, Asians, Indians, South Americans, Latinos, and Purple people. Stop wasting your time with trifling men. Start spending your time with good ones. If he’s good and white, great. If he’s good and black, great. If he’s good and Asian, great. Good and Latin, great. Don’t waste your time on people who are not worth it.
Click to expand...

I absolutely agree with this 100% and try not to generalize, which is often difficult to do when you continue to be disappointed. There are millions of wonderful black men out there! I know because my father is one. My brother, uncles, cousins and grandfathers...all great men! But still the fact that most black women will remain single for the rest of their lives is astonishing. I will keep hope alive, though. I don't believe that all is lost. But while I'm waiting, I'll keep my heart open as well...;)
 
Serenity_Peace said:
Wow! This is a fascinating thread. I don't think the intent of most of the people on this thread was to demean or degrade black men...or black women to exalt white men. And while I understand the circumstances that most black women find themselves in--myself included--there's something to be said about the prevalence of single black women. Statistics claim that a single black woman--regardless of economic or social status--has a greater chance at winning the lottery than finding a suitable black mate. Now, what these numbers mean by "suitable" is both objective and subjective.

The objective aspect of this is that there's no denying the numbers. The ratio of black women to black men is nearly 2:1 in most geographic places. In Atlanta where I'm originally from, for instance, I understand that the ratio is 3:1. In D.C. it's about the same. And there's no denying that the black community is confronted with a host of social and economic problems/conditions that render it less likely that black women (and men, for that matter) get married. The high unemployment rate, for instance, is an example. We cannot refute these facts.

The subjective aspect of this is that we are simply confusing circumstance with preference. If I were to say that I the likelihood of me being with a white man is greater due to my social/economic circumstance, that's different than asserting a preference for white men because they are superior to black men in terms of________ (fill in the blank).

I am assuming that most of us, including myself, would love nothing better than to have a nurturing black man as our life partners. However, I am confronted with a number of confounding circumstances that simply make the probability of that less likely. This is NOT to say that there are no good, decent black men out there. Or, that white men are "better," more committed to their relationships than black men. White men cheat. White men lie. But there are cultural differences between the races than explain why most whites marry and most blacks don't.

I live in Washington, D.C., and there's no question that there are cultural differences/explanations for why blacks tend to marry less than whites. Some of it can be explained by economic conditions, but when you rarely see black families loving and caring for each other in public, spending time with one another in nurturing relationships, it does make one wonder. Please...I'm NOT saying that there are NO black families like this, but when people started questioning the authenticity of Claire and Cliff Huxtable 20 years ago, we have to be honest about the state of the black family in this society.

Speaking of D.C., here's a recent article that was in the Post regarding blacks and their idea of marriage. It made me so depressed and upset, but this is a very real phenomenon. If you get a moment, please read:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/25/AR2006032500029.html

To those of you who are blessed to have found your life partner or soul mate, hold on to what you got...for dear life! ;)
Click to expand...

Thanks for this post. It basically reflects how I feel. There are not enough good or decent black males to match likewise black females. By "good", I mean, no criminal history, not many illegitimate children, a career, respectful to women, not a strong history of cheating. This is much more specific than your post, but it is the truth.

Although as you've said, there are some good black men, and some God awful white men, you do see evidence of the numbers. I notice more of us getting together in groups at Applebee's, but more white families there together when you count the families. When we get together and walk in the park, I see white families with actual picnic baskets and playing ball. Sometimes, just the parent and child. While in the mall, I even see old white couples holding hands. Walking. I rarely if ever see that in our young couples. Heck alot of young black couples our age, I really don't see alot of them. And I never see it in our old couples.

I really don't find myself attracted to white men. And when I think of dating one, I wonder do some of our BM who marry WW after they've become famous or rich, marry them because they actually think better of them than us. Because when I think of a white guy, I don't feel any type of a possible connection. We usually have different backgrounds, laugh at different jokes, etc. BUT, before I live my life alone, I'll use some common sense and expand who I would consider a mating prospect.

Oprah advized that and I didnt like the idea at first, but who knows. That may be (or may not be) where my husband is. So, who am I to turn my back on someone of another race who wants to date me ?

I think this is the only way some of us will marry.
 
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I enjoyed reading many of the posts but the OP stated her intention of the thread several times.
 
atlien said:
This was a interesting thread. I enjoyed reading some of the comments.
Recently, a white college classmate of mine asked me to go to dinner with him. I was surprised because I am not the black supermodel looking body type (tall thin), but more of the Beyonce, Melissa Ford body type.
I jokingly thought to myself.."I don't think he's ready for this jelly"
I foolishly thought this body type was only appealing to black men, but I am learning that my assumptions are far from true.

The even more surprising thing was the reactions my black male classmates had when they heard him ask me to dinner. They seemed very irritated by it. Like how dear he ask, and even more so how dear I even act accepting.
I just didn't understand their behavior. Black men have been doing this for years, but somehow black men feel we should remain loyal to them.
Can you believe this!
Click to expand...

That is so true. A girlfriend and I went to a club a while back in Orlando. All of the brothas were with either white or hispanic females. The ones in groups didn't even give us a head nod or nothing. An older hispanic guy came up to us and brought us drinks. We both danced with him for a while. While on the dance floor a brotha grabbed my arm and tried to dance with me. :naughty: I snatched my arm back and went back to the hispanic guy. When we were leaving the blk guys were giving us dirty looks. I smiled and flirted with some white guys.
 
Imma answer these questions:

1. Are you married to a white dude?
Nah, Im married to a white MAN :D

2. How did you meet?
Through mutual friends when I was in high School

3. Are you more attractive than your "average bear"--I mean black woman?
I think Im pretty

4. Are you financially successful and/or have a prestigious career/education?
Nah ... I do aiight, but it aint prestigious :lol:

5. Is he attractive? (and not just to you)
Yeah girl he Fione .. :lol:

~~~~

Will never understand what the big deal is, in the greater scheme of things it doesnt matter .. GOD cares nothing about race :)
 
KhandiB said:
Imma answer these questions:

1. Are you married to a white dude?
Nah, Im married to a white MAN :D

2. How did you meet?
Through mutual friends when I was in high School

3. Are you more attractive than your "average bear"--I mean black woman?
I think Im pretty

4. Are you financially successful and/or have a prestigious career/education?
Nah ... I do aiight, but it aint prestigious :lol:

5. Is he attractive? (and not just to you)
Yeah girl he Fione .. :lol:

~~~~

Will never understand what the big deal is, in the greater scheme of things it doesnt matter .. GOD cares nothing about race :)
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I had to adjust that thar for ya ;) And Khandi knows me from another board; I don't say a white man is FIONE too often. :lol:
 
Serenity_Peace said:
Wow! This is a fascinating thread. I don't think the intent of most of the people on this thread was to demean or degrade black men...or black women to exalt white men. And while I understand the circumstances that most black women find themselves in--myself included--there's something to be said about the prevalence of single black women. Statistics claim that a single black woman--regardless of economic or social status--has a greater chance at winning the lottery than finding a suitable black mate. Now, what these numbers mean by "suitable" is both objective and subjective.

The objective aspect of this is that there's no denying the numbers. The ratio of black women to black men is nearly 2:1 in most geographic places. In Atlanta where I'm originally from, for instance, I understand that the ratio is 3:1. In D.C. it's about the same. And there's no denying that the black community is confronted with a host of social and economic problems/conditions that render it less likely that black women (and men, for that matter) get married. The high unemployment rate, for instance, is an example. We cannot refute these facts.

The subjective aspect of this is that we are simply confusing circumstance with preference. If I were to say that I the likelihood of me being with a white man is greater due to my social/economic circumstance, that's different than asserting a preference for white men because they are superior to black men in terms of________ (fill in the blank).

I am assuming that most of us, including myself, would love nothing better than to have a nurturing black man as our life partners. However, I am confronted with a number of confounding circumstances that simply make the probability of that less likely. This is NOT to say that there are no good, decent black men out there. Or, that white men are "better," more committed to their relationships than black men. White men cheat. White men lie. But there are cultural differences between the races than explain why most whites marry and most blacks don't.

I live in Washington, D.C., and there's no question that there are cultural differences/explanations for why blacks tend to marry less than whites. Some of it can be explained by economic conditions, but when you rarely see black families loving and caring for each other in public, spending time with one another in nurturing relationships, it does make one wonder. Please...I'm NOT saying that there are NO black families like this, but when people started questioning the authenticity of Claire and Cliff Huxtable 20 years ago, we have to be honest about the state of the black family in this society.

Speaking of D.C., here's a recent article that was in the Post regarding blacks and their idea of marriage. It made me so depressed and upset, but this is a very real phenomenon. If you get a moment, please read:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/25/AR2006032500029.html

To those of you who are blessed to have found your life partner or soul mate, hold on to what you got...for dear life! ;)
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Terrific post!
 
This thread is very interesting. I never really consider any other race besides AA men but now after careful observation I have begin to be more open to the idea of being with any race. Just like someone mentioned I just want a good man. I don't care what color. For me personally I steered away for other races because I thought it would be hard for people and me to accepted it. But if the man is happy with my color and background then I don’t see why we couldn’t have a satisfying relationship. I have be raised with different races all around me and there were good people all around. I wouldn't say I prefer other races now but I am very open to the idea of finding love in other races.
 
No, I'm not married to a white man ... yet! My boyfriend is white and if he asks me to marry him, the answer will be YES and THEN I'll be married to a white man! :grin: He's a sweetie...:yep:

Here's wishing the best to EVERYONE in their relationships!
 
I'm not married at all now, I am divorced. I was married to an AA man for 6 years. We are good friends now and have a 5 year old daughter together. I am currently dating a white man. I really like him alot, he is easy to communicate with. He is a real gentlemen and treats me better than anyone I have been with, not because he is white. He is also 12 years older than me so that has alot to do with his maturity level.
 
DITTOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

IF YOUR ATTRACTING LAME MEN IT COULD BE YOU BOO!


MuseofTroy said:
That's ridiculous. My whole theory is that if a woman attracts a bunch of deadbeat black men then perhaps she needs to see what is up with herself since she is the common denominator.
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