Royalq
Well-Known Member
Whew.... i dont even know where to start. I just got some shocking news that has left me breathless, shaking, and crying. I’ll just make it straight forward.
a guy that i had a humungous crush on and i know he liked me too just proposed to his girlfriend. Sigh. I know he liked me but he would only stare and would never approach. He tried to approach many times but would get scared and walk past me instead. As early as feb-march he was parking his car next to me and looking at me all the time. Last i saw him was in March but due to covid we havent been around each other. We knew of each other for well over a year. I always figured that if he was interested he would at least ask our mutual friend to connect us. But one time last october we were in a car together with friends and he kept asking me what my type was. Then he said he didnt plan on marrying until he was 25. He’s currently 23 and proposed??? Also in January i told the mutual friend i was single. The next time i saw this guy he looked like he really wanted to approach and kept walking around me so im assuming the mutual friend told him. Thats why im pretty sure he was single up till march. And from the way the girl looks i have an inkling that shes his ex-girlfriend that broke up with him for her career previously.
Im 26 turning 27 next month for what its worth.
anyways i always have a personal policy that i dont chase men. Im not mean to them and dont play games. But im against approaching men or being more into them then they are into me. And whatever is meant for me will be mines with no fear and no doubt. I whole heartedly believe that the man meant for me will get me right away and not waste anytime and be straight forward in his love for me.
But the reason why this broke me is because.... honestly im tired. Im tired of being alone. I seriously liked this guy and wondered what was wrong with me that he would never approach. What does she have that i dont?? For over a year he didnt even say hi to me but cuffs her well before the age he even said he wanted to get married and definitely in a just a few months cause he was single at the beginning of the year.
I texted a friend about it and she gave me the clichè “maybe he was intimidated by a beautiful successful women”..... but why is it me that men are always intimidated by.... im not the only beautiful women and im successful but im just a nurse and so is he! Whats there to be intimidated by when we have the same job?? If anything he makes more than me cause he’s in a soecialized field. why is it me that so hard to approach and so hard to love?? And its not like i really want him either. My mind is set on marrying a well off man so i can be a boujie housewife and he’s not that. But its just the rejection that hurts. Ego i guess.
And staring down 27 years old next month and only ever having 1 boyfriend that only last a month because he was insecure about me and how great i was.
I work hard on myself, ive dealt with alot of insecurities, emotional trauma, ive worked on myself physically and went from the girl that gets ignored to the girl that got dudes shook, ive even been working on developing homekeeping skills in preparation for marriage.... that seems like its not happening for me. I have no options, no men are talking to me. Heck just last week a dude ghosted me cause i think he knew i was too good for him. I knew i was too good for him too and had no intention on pursuing anything but was still nice to him. It feels like the area im in is full of men who are intimidated by me but idk what i can do to find someone who is what im looking for.
Idk... im just really shocked and hurt and needed to vent and some hugs
and i guess another thing that triggering me is because alot of gurls around me are getting engaged, married, or are dating someone serious while im just here. And covid makes it hard to go out and mingle. thats me in my Avatar by the way
UPDATE: Im engaged yall! Got engaged recently to the sweetest man who cherishes me like im a diamond. Thank you so much to the ladies here. You guys propelled me to go to therapy and that licked off a totally unexpected journey of deep healing. I beoke my self down to the core, cried, fell apart, prayed, meditated, journaled, reconstructed my self, did two healing courses, ready so many books, listened to so many podcasts. Challenged limiting self beliefs that were put into me since i was a child, forgave my parents, reparented myself, forgave so many people i didnt know i resent, and most importantly forgave myself genuinely. I found self love, self worth confidence, felt worthy to be a child of God and confidant that he will pick out his very best for me. I learned to stop being ashamed and guilty for existing. I am innocent, lovable, and deserving of everything good. And i got my good with no effort. Looking back on my old journals and even this post feels so foreign, like someone else wrote it. I wish i could hug that girl from years ago and show her how holy and beautiful and unblemished she is. I wish that genuinely for every woman. Thank you LHCF, thank you
And looking back at what i wrote “And whatever is meant for me will be mines with no fear and no doubt. I whole heartedly believe that the man meant for me will get me right away and not waste anytime and be straight forward in his love for me” is EXACTLY how my fiancé pursued me. No effort on my part, he was straight up with no games and marriage intentions by day 4 of talking to me. He wasted no time is claiming something valuable. I knew the concept back then but just didnt have the esteem.
a guy that i had a humungous crush on and i know he liked me too just proposed to his girlfriend. Sigh. I know he liked me but he would only stare and would never approach. He tried to approach many times but would get scared and walk past me instead. As early as feb-march he was parking his car next to me and looking at me all the time. Last i saw him was in March but due to covid we havent been around each other. We knew of each other for well over a year. I always figured that if he was interested he would at least ask our mutual friend to connect us. But one time last october we were in a car together with friends and he kept asking me what my type was. Then he said he didnt plan on marrying until he was 25. He’s currently 23 and proposed??? Also in January i told the mutual friend i was single. The next time i saw this guy he looked like he really wanted to approach and kept walking around me so im assuming the mutual friend told him. Thats why im pretty sure he was single up till march. And from the way the girl looks i have an inkling that shes his ex-girlfriend that broke up with him for her career previously.
Im 26 turning 27 next month for what its worth.
anyways i always have a personal policy that i dont chase men. Im not mean to them and dont play games. But im against approaching men or being more into them then they are into me. And whatever is meant for me will be mines with no fear and no doubt. I whole heartedly believe that the man meant for me will get me right away and not waste anytime and be straight forward in his love for me.
But the reason why this broke me is because.... honestly im tired. Im tired of being alone. I seriously liked this guy and wondered what was wrong with me that he would never approach. What does she have that i dont?? For over a year he didnt even say hi to me but cuffs her well before the age he even said he wanted to get married and definitely in a just a few months cause he was single at the beginning of the year.
I texted a friend about it and she gave me the clichè “maybe he was intimidated by a beautiful successful women”..... but why is it me that men are always intimidated by.... im not the only beautiful women and im successful but im just a nurse and so is he! Whats there to be intimidated by when we have the same job?? If anything he makes more than me cause he’s in a soecialized field. why is it me that so hard to approach and so hard to love?? And its not like i really want him either. My mind is set on marrying a well off man so i can be a boujie housewife and he’s not that. But its just the rejection that hurts. Ego i guess.
And staring down 27 years old next month and only ever having 1 boyfriend that only last a month because he was insecure about me and how great i was.
I work hard on myself, ive dealt with alot of insecurities, emotional trauma, ive worked on myself physically and went from the girl that gets ignored to the girl that got dudes shook, ive even been working on developing homekeeping skills in preparation for marriage.... that seems like its not happening for me. I have no options, no men are talking to me. Heck just last week a dude ghosted me cause i think he knew i was too good for him. I knew i was too good for him too and had no intention on pursuing anything but was still nice to him. It feels like the area im in is full of men who are intimidated by me but idk what i can do to find someone who is what im looking for.
Idk... im just really shocked and hurt and needed to vent and some hugs
and i guess another thing that triggering me is because alot of gurls around me are getting engaged, married, or are dating someone serious while im just here. And covid makes it hard to go out and mingle. thats me in my Avatar by the way
UPDATE: Im engaged yall! Got engaged recently to the sweetest man who cherishes me like im a diamond. Thank you so much to the ladies here. You guys propelled me to go to therapy and that licked off a totally unexpected journey of deep healing. I beoke my self down to the core, cried, fell apart, prayed, meditated, journaled, reconstructed my self, did two healing courses, ready so many books, listened to so many podcasts. Challenged limiting self beliefs that were put into me since i was a child, forgave my parents, reparented myself, forgave so many people i didnt know i resent, and most importantly forgave myself genuinely. I found self love, self worth confidence, felt worthy to be a child of God and confidant that he will pick out his very best for me. I learned to stop being ashamed and guilty for existing. I am innocent, lovable, and deserving of everything good. And i got my good with no effort. Looking back on my old journals and even this post feels so foreign, like someone else wrote it. I wish i could hug that girl from years ago and show her how holy and beautiful and unblemished she is. I wish that genuinely for every woman. Thank you LHCF, thank you
And looking back at what i wrote “And whatever is meant for me will be mines with no fear and no doubt. I whole heartedly believe that the man meant for me will get me right away and not waste anytime and be straight forward in his love for me” is EXACTLY how my fiancé pursued me. No effort on my part, he was straight up with no games and marriage intentions by day 4 of talking to me. He wasted no time is claiming something valuable. I knew the concept back then but just didnt have the esteem.
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I understand and sympathize, but if he didn't approach, then leave it at that, and please let it go. Process it as you dodged a bullet, perhaps he's an indecisive man, (in relationships) and in time that might have driven you B-S crazy.
. He showed up with his girlfriend. Saying that they held the conversation hostage is an understatement 
. The gf constantly bragged about how many languages she spoke and what a great job + family she has. And he just kept talking and talking and talking. It was there that I realized: it would've never worked 
. I'm very introverted and shy, hate being the center of attention. 
.
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