I'm Guilty- I turned into a "hair hater!"

[MizaniMami]

I'm embarassed to type this but part of letting go is telling people you trust and understand (LHCF). It's a young girl on my campus (who is black BTW) with WAISTLENGTH BONE STRAIGHT HAIR. You can tell it was relaxed. Everytime I see her I turn into our worse nightmare-A hair hater. I'm cured now but I just want to share.

I found my self STARING for long periods of time trying to find stuff wrong with it. Like I would be thinking in my mind" It's too greasy" or "It's too long" (yeah, imagine me saying that, the girl who wants wasitlength hair ) or the worse one "She think she all that!" You could tell she was pretty used to the stares because she wasn't even paying my hating butt no mind.

I never wished her hair or her harm but I had to be the grown woman that I am and think to myself, Girl she ain't doing nothing that you can't be doing. It takes a strong person to admit jealousy so the first part of getting myself some help is admittting that I was wrong. Now when I see her I think "I can't wait to be where she is."

Ladies, don't take your "hair haters" for granted. They are secretly admiring you. We are doing something that A LOT of people think is impossible-black women acheiving health and length.

 

[Wildchild453]

This is funny

 

[tallnomad]

why not strike up a conversation with her and ask her about her routine?

ask if she knows about this site.

 

[MizaniMami]

why not strike up a conversation with her and ask her about her routine?

ask if she knows about this site.

I'm too shy for that. But that's a nice thought. Maybe one day I will.

 

[locabouthair]

well i'll admit that im hair hating on you mizani. i wish i had your length.

 

[PinkPeony]

Re: I'm Guilty- I turned a "hair hater!"

I think it's great that you share with us.It takes a strong mind to a.dmit jealousy
Even tough you're shy,just try and tell her that her hair is nice as you walk by.It won't take you longer then 3 seconds to say it.

 

[HoneyDew]

well i'll admit that im hair hating on you mizani. i wish i had your length.

I know right! While she was all up in that girl's environment, someone was probably doing the same to her!

 

[sareca]

I found myself hatin' in a department store a few weeks ago. This chick with super straight (I ain't knockin'), thin, brittle, broke off w/ 2 strands at just below APL hair, spent every second I was in sight fliping it around. I thought she was gonna break her neck if I didn't leave soon. I was like WTW? I totally ignored her except when I caught her lookin' at me (checkin' to see if I'm checkin'). I probably would have given her kudos for the length, despite the condition, if she hadn't been so obviously trying to lord it over me.

 

[MizaniMami]

well i'll admit that im hair hating on you mizani. i wish i had your length.

Awww, geesh Loca and Honeydew, thank you!

Sareca, that's funny that she was checking you looking at her

 

[Aquamarie]

Mizani it did take a lot for you to not only realize what you were doing but also to admit it. So congrats to you on that. It's only natural to admire someone who has accomplished a goal that you are currently working on. Don't worry in no time I'm sure you'll be getting the same stares and you'll know how to handle it.

 

[cmw45]

But...you got over it and that's all that matters.


Story...there's this girl on my campus with this beautiful fro, it's probably dark auburn in color. So one day, I see her walking and her hair is BONE straight. It looks like she realaxed the hell out of it. I have nothing against women that relax, I think a lot of them, including the starter of this thread, have beautiful hair, but I was a little sad to see such a beautiful fro go to "waste." Neway, to make a long story short, I kept telling all my girlfriends that would listen, how unhappy I was that she had a decided to relax (but this hair was like the Madonna of all fros). So I ran into her later on and told her that I liked her hair (yes, I was lying) but kinda missed her fro. Humph...the girl laughed and told me that is was a lacefront and that she was just trying to mix it up. I felt real stupid...and have since stopped trying to decided the best hair choices for others.

 

[KiniKakes]

This is a good post, with a very positive message/moral. Its great that you were able to recognize your behavior for what it was, and then get over it.

Chile.....you'll be there soon enough, girl.... we both will, God willing.

 

[Mestiza]

Since, you admire her hair, let her know by complimenting her. You never know, you may learn some great tips and make a new friend.

 

[so1913]

Hahah, I think we've all been there at some point. The hater in me is gone and the admirer in me comes out in full effect when I see a beautiful head of hair

 

[MizaniMami]

This is a good post, with a very positive message/moral. Its great that you were able to recognize your behavior for what it was, and then get over it.

Chile.....you'll be there soon enough, girl.... we both will, God willing.

I meant to tell you great job on your progress we started around the same time and I felt like we were in the same boat! It's so good to see you progressing. PLEASE keep up the great work!

cmw45, there is a natural at my school with the bomb hair! but she always look so mean. I want to ask her what she uses because she is a 4b and her hair STAYS moist!

Also this other girl had her fro out the other day. i could NOT stop staring. Even my sister (who doens't prefer natural hair) said, "that girl hair is the bomb!"

Ladies, i am going to try to say something to her. But I have had a lot of bad experiencing complimenting women. They always give me this 'Why you wanna know?!" look. I will tell you ladies what she said

 

[Lucia]

You could tell she was pretty used to the stares because she wasn't even paying my hating butt no mind.

that's priceless, confessions of a hater....
I'm glad you realized that you really admire what she's got and don't want to take away what she's acheived but celebrate and get to where she is yourself. compliment her and make a new freind, and get those tips share this board if you think she can handle it, I always admire a thick healthy head of hair no matter what type I know everyone's got theire own challenges to face down.

 

[Trini"T"]

I found myself hatin' in a department store a few weeks ago. This chick with super straight (I ain't knockin'), thin, brittle, broke off w/ 2 strands at just below APL hair, spent every second I was in sight fliping it around. I thought she was gonna break her neck if I didn't leave soon. I was like WTW? I totally ignored her except when I caught her lookin' at me (checkin' to see if I'm checkin'). I probably would have given her kudos for the length, despite the condition, if she hadn't been so obviously trying to lord it over me.

BoOoOo!! I hate that! That's why when I'm on the street I don't look more than 2 seconds at people. I try to avoid people like this thinking that they are "oh so pleasing" to my eye

 

[LovelyLionessa]

I meant to tell you great job on your progress we started around the same time and I felt like we were in the same boat! It's so good to see you progressing. PLEASE keep up the great work!

cmw45, there is a natural at my school with the bomb hair! but she always look so mean. I want to ask her what she uses because she is a 4b and her hair STAYS moist!

Also this other girl had her fro out the other day. i could NOT stop staring. Even my sister (who doens't prefer natural hair) said, "that girl hair is the bomb!"

Ladies, i am going to try to say something to her. But I have had a lot of bad experiencing complimenting women. They always give me this 'Why you wanna know?!" look. I will tell you ladies what she said

Oooh, I hope they are nice girls, who are willing to share their hair secrets.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

I have found myself hating on women with beautiful short styles that look great on them. I have a face that does not look good with short hair, so when I see these women I get so envious. I know it's wrong but you can't change the size of your face like you can change your hair. If only I had a cute little face I'd be rocking a chin-length bob all day. Of course I find myself admiring them as well. But still, I can understand where you're coming from.

 

[~Nigeria~]

We all hate on something sometimes. I've been guilty of it a few times (not for hair though). Personally, if see a woman with hair that I admire, I'll be quick to compliment her, ask her hair secrets, and ask where she got it done... assuming she's humble about it. If I'm in a similar situation as Sareca (which I have been plenty of times) and I see a hair snob who is obviously flaunting her pretty hair and trying to throw it all up in my face, I'll ignore her.

 

[KiniKakes]

I meant to tell you great job on your progress we started around the same time and I felt like we were in the same boat! It's so good to see you progressing. PLEASE keep up the great work!

Ladies, i am going to try to say something to her. But I have had a lot of bad experiencing complimenting women. They always give me this 'Why you wanna know?!" look. I will tell you ladies what she said

Awww, THANKS so much girl. Yeah, we are such hair twins in terms of our goals..... thats why i made that comment, because i know we are like in the same boat. You keep up the good work as well, sis. *hugs*

And yeah, girl, you better just get on over that shyness and try to compliment her. Because homegirl may just reveal some fantastic hair secrets/tips that you can bring back to ya girls on the board.

 

[blackbarbie]

Mizani,
That's funny...- "confessions of a hair hater!", but I found myself doing it once and snapped myself out of it and got the courage to tell the lady so.(Her hair was about the same length as mine, but not only was her color the bomb, but it looked like she had just gotten a fresh perm and her hair was sooooooooo thick, which was the part I was REALLY hatin on!)......

She seemed very humble, which is why i decided to tell her. I just tapped her (we were both shopping) and asked her where she got her hair done because it looked really nice. To my surprise, she was still humble and told me she was trying to find a way to compliment me on my hair and told me that after a few bad exp. w/hairdressers, she did everything to her hair herself - color, relaxer, trims, everything. We started talking "hair" and I wanted to ask/tell her about LHCF but didn't want her to think I was a hair weirdo, but she was actually nice. But her hair was to die for!!

I just couldn't believe that I would have gotten a positive response from her, so girl just get up the courage and tell sistergirl her hair has it going on!

 

[Lovelylocs]

I'm not a hair hater at all, but I can understand where you are coming from. I love to be the one w/the longest, healthiest hair in the room too. Don't worry. We'll both be at waist length soon enough.

 

[Ayeshia]

I have never hated on a head of hair if anything Im always awe struck and I catch myself staring...so emabarrassing at times

 

[Lovelylocs]

Mizani,
That's funny...- "confessions of a hair hater!", but I found myself doing it once and snapped myself out of it and got the courage to tell the lady so.(Her hair was about the same length as mine, but not only was her color the bomb, but it looked like she had just gotten a fresh perm and her hair was sooooooooo thick, which was the part I was REALLY hatin on!)......

She seemed very humble, which is why i decided to tell her. I just tapped her (we were both shopping) and asked her where she got her hair done because it looked really nice. To my surprise, she was still humble and told me she was trying to find a way to compliment me on my hair and told me that after a few bad exp. w/hairdressers, she did everything to her hair herself - color, relaxer, trims, everything. We started talking "hair" and I wanted to ask/tell her about LHCF but didn't want her to think I was a hair weirdo, but she was actually nice. But her hair was to die for!!

I just couldn't believe that I would have gotten a positive response from her, so girl just get up the courage and tell sistergirl her hair has it going on!

I can so relate to this! Whenever I meet another black girl/woman w/long hair, I automatically assume they follow LHCF guidelines. Part of me wants to befriend people just b/c of their hair.

 

[FeelinIt]

that's priceless, confessions of a hater....
I'm glad you realized that you really admire what she's got and don't want to take away what she's acheived but celebrate and get to where she is yourself. compliment her and make a new freind, and get those tips share this board if you think she can handle it, I always admire a thick healthy head of hair no matter what type I know everyone's got theire own challenges to face down.

That would be a good thread title" Confessions of a hair hater. This would be a priceless thread!

 

[LovelyLionessa]

Mizani,
That's funny...- "confessions of a hair hater!", but I found myself doing it once and snapped myself out of it and got the courage to tell the lady so.(Her hair was about the same length as mine, but not only was her color the bomb, but it looked like she had just gotten a fresh perm and her hair was sooooooooo thick, which was the part I was REALLY hatin on!)......

She seemed very humble, which is why i decided to tell her. I just tapped her (we were both shopping) and asked her where she got her hair done because it looked really nice. To my surprise, she was still humble and told me she was trying to find a way to compliment me on my hair and told me that after a few bad exp. w/hairdressers, she did everything to her hair herself - color, relaxer, trims, everything. We started talking "hair" and I wanted to ask/tell her about LHCF but didn't want her to think I was a hair weirdo, but she was actually nice. But her hair was to die for!!

I just couldn't believe that I would have gotten a positive response from her, so girl just get up the courage and tell sistergirl her hair has it going on!

Awww, what a nice story, that's what I love to hear, people turning their hair around, and taking complete control of their hair journey. That's cool that she was so humble and forthcoming. I wonder if she is a LHCFer... :scratchch

 

[blackbarbie]

Awww, what a nice story, that's what I love to hear, people turning their hair around, and taking complete control of their hair journey. That's cool that she was so humble and forthcoming. I wonder if she is a LHCFer... :scratchch

You don't know how bad I was itching to mention LHCF!! I was even more in awe of her after she told me she did EVERYTHING to her own hair. Her story sounded so much like many of our sisters here that we have read about and I couldn't help but to think that she could be a member for real!

 

[Britfem27]

There is someone who lives near me with lovely hair. It is straight and down every day and I always want to ask her how she does it as she is relaxed but I am scared to ask. Also she does not look very friendly I have smiled at her a few times and she does not smile back.

 

[MissYocairis]

I feel you. I have been there and had to check myself. I went to see The Roots this past weekend in Cincy and a friend of a friend of mine had THE prettiest natural shake and go and she looked ADORABLE! I was like, "DAMN my relaxed hair!" PLUS, I wanted to FEEL FOR TRACKS! But, I kept my hands to myself and assumed it was all hers. Now, had this been 3 years ago and I had never heard of LHCF, I would have asked her what kind of hair she was rockin'!


ETA: I did tell her that I loved her hair though....but, didn't want to offend her by asking if she was all natural, texturized, weaving or what? So, I just left it at that.