HATER UPDATE: "Why do you always wear that bun?

[alibi]

Re: HATER UPDATE: \"Why do you always wear that bun?

[ QUOTE ]
jainygirl said:
Say ayana, you should serve the hater with papers with her damaged hair being the accused and your sore eyes being the victim

[/ QUOTE ]

I LOVE it jainygirl!!!

Anyways, thanks for all the advice you guys have given me on this. I have really tried to just avoid her, and avoid her comments all together, but it has gotten increasingly difficult as you can see.

She even had the NERVE to tell me I didn't look cute on my birthday a few weeks ago, and not to expect any special privileges b/c I tried to come in "looking fly with my new suit on." It's clearly jealousy on her part, but there's only so much I can take. And to top it off, everyone in the courtroom, including her, knew that my only living grandmother, who I'm extremely close to, was critically ill in the hospital back in California at this time. So my birthday was really hard b/c I was stuck in Florida not knowing if I would get a phone call saying that my grandmother had passed. As if that wasn't enough, my grandmother passed on 11/6/03, two days after my birthday, and I overheard her asking the court reporter "What's her problem? Is she looking for sympathy or something, b/c she'd not the 1st person who's lost somebody!" I mean, how much can one person take? I just wanted to give you guys the background so you can see the type of person that I'm dealing with.

I would be happy to give her some tips on what she could do with her hair, and her overall appearance, b/c she's obviously not happy with herself. (Not to offend anyone, but in addition to the bad hair, she's almost 300 pounds, and dresses like she's a size 2). And she's called me everything from a light-skinned ***** to a stuck up know-it-all (after an oral argument I won). I have ignored her muttering for as long as I can, but I also don't want to constantly get into confrontations with her every time I turn around.

So who knows? I'll keep you guys posted though.

 

[Nyambura]

Re: HATER UPDATE: \"Why do you always wear that bun?

Ayanapooh ~
What that woman said after your beloved grandmother passed was off the charts. I shudder to think what type of experiences she's encountered to make her so full of hate and lacking in compassion. Rest assured, if she's not expressing compassion towards you it is likely she has none for herself.

Very sad. I also just wanted to give you a ((((hug)))) and say I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother's passing; it's always hard when we lose someone we're close to.

 

[Nyambura]

Re: HATER UPDATE: \"Why do you always wear that bun?

For anyone who might encounter backhanded compliments or other underhanded remarks, I came across an interesting article on longhairlovers.com about this very occurrence. It's called longhairlovers.com/criticism.Handling Criticism About Hair Length. It covers co-worker as well as family and friends scenarios.

Here's a snippet:
If all else fails, nothing beats an arsenal of snappy comments. “When a woman says something catty about my hair I usually just wink, smile and purr, ‘Men love it,’” Jessica says.

Interesting read.

 

[Mahalialee4]

Re: HATER UPDATE: \"Why do you always wear that bun?

I think I would have to drawl..."Is there a re..e..ason you take such an unusual personal interest in me?....HEAVY PAUSE...people are beginning to wundah"...smile and walk away. Bonjour

 

[Isis]

Re: HATER UPDATE: \"Why do you always wear that bun?

[ QUOTE ]
Mahalialee4 said:
I think I would have to drawl..."Is there a re..e..ason you take such an unusual personal interest in me?....HEAVY PAUSE...people are beginning to wundah"...smile and walk away. Bonjour

[/ QUOTE ]

 

[Nyambura]

Re: HATER UPDATE: \"Why do you always wear that bun?

[ QUOTE ]
Nyambura said:
For anyone who might encounter backhanded compliments or other underhanded remarks, I came across an interesting article on longhairlovers.com about this very occurrence. It's called longhairlovers.com/criticism.Handling Criticism About Hair Length. It covers co-worker as well as family and friends scenarios.

Here's a snippet:
If all else fails, nothing beats an arsenal of snappy comments. “When a woman says something catty about my hair I usually just wink, smile and purr, ‘Men love it,’” Jessica says.

Interesting read.

[/ QUOTE ]

Why was the link edited out? Are we not supposed to include links to other hair forums?

 

[alibi]

Re: HATER UPDATE: \"Why do you always wear that bun?

[ QUOTE ]
Nyambura said:

Why was the link edited out? Are we not supposed to include links to other hair forums?

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think we can Nyambura, put please PM me with the link.

Thanks for all the support everyone. I have to face her on Monday, so we'll see how it goes after the Thanksgiving break.

 

[ms_kenesha]

Re: HATER UPDATE: \"Why do you always wear that bun?

[ QUOTE ]
Mahalialee4 said:
I think I would have to drawl..."Is there a re..e..ason you take such an unusual personal interest in me?....HEAVY PAUSE...people are beginning to wundah"...smile and walk away. Bonjour

[/ QUOTE ]

 

[pebbles]

Re: HATER UPDATE: \"Why do you always wear that bun?

[ QUOTE ]
Nyambura said:

Why was the link edited out? Are we not supposed to include links to other hair forums?

[/ QUOTE ]

No, active links to other hair forums are no longer allowed.

 

[greenidlady1]

Re: HATER UPDATE: \"Why do you always wear that bun?

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Losing a loved one is hard enough and unfortunately that woman made it more difficult for you.

I agree with everyone else, she is jealous and is trying her best to make your life unhappy. I know how you feel, I have someone in the office who makes snide comments but tries to pass them off as a joke and she just got promoted and now her office is right outside mine!

I'll keep your situation in prayer because she wants you to focus on being unhappy instead of enjoying your hair, success, etc. When it's gotten really bad, I've always said something like 'have a blessed day.' People don't know what to say and it shuts them up quick!! I know it's hard though, to keep turning the other cheek. We'll be thinking about you on Monday.

Take care,
G

 

[keke]

Re: HATER UPDATE: \"Why do you always wear that bun?

Nyambura i love that pic of sade there. When i saw her video i was like

bout her hair. Tahnkfully my bangs are gettin close to how her's is. Soon the rest will reach up too.

 

[Nyambura]

Re: HATER UPDATE: \"Why do you always wear that bun?

[ QUOTE ]
ayanapooh said:
... Nyambura, put please PM me with the link.

...

[/ QUOTE ]

Check your PM, chica.

Personally, I really like Mahalialee's comeback - that was a good one!

 

[Nyambura]

Re: HATER UPDATE: \"Why do you always wear that bun?

[ QUOTE ]
pebbles said:
[ QUOTE ]
Nyambura said:

Why was the link edited out? Are we not supposed to include links to other hair forums?

[/ QUOTE ]

No, active links to other hair forums are no longer allowed.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ah! Ok.

Thanks for letting me know, Pebbles.

Keke ~ Yeah, I like Sade's hair too.

 

[CocoaCure]

Re: HATER UPDATE: \"Why do you always wear that bun?

OMG!!! Ayanapooh, I'm so sorry about the loss of your grandmother!!! I too was very very close to my grandmother and remember February 17, 1986 like it was yesterday! How DARE that crunchy-head, low self-esteem having, jealous, ugly, blob of a woman make comments like that when SHE KNEW what was going on in your personal life! Stupid hair comments are one thing, but this is downright deviant and evil!!!! What goes around comes around and SHE WILL GET HERS!!! Heck, let's face it.............she gets hers everyday when she looks in the mirror! How depressing that must be!!! And for her to mention your coloring is cleary a sign of deep seated self-hatred! But this is a deeply troubled woman obviously!!! She's full of something very very bad!!! At this point, I'd recommend you just stay away from her! I've heard of jealous people do CRAZY things! Heck, just watch lifetime! She sounds like she's obsessed with you! Her insensitivity is beyond awful! This just burns me up so much!!! Feel free to vent here anytime you need to!!! Happy belated birthday, and again I'm so sorry about your loss!!

 

[lthomas1]

Re: HATER UPDATE: \"Why do you always wear that bun?

Keep your head up and remember you are the better person. She has issues.

 

[DragonPearl]

Re: HATER UPDATE: \"Why do you always wear that bun?

[ QUOTE ]
Mahalialee4 said:
I think I would have to drawl..."Is there a re..e..ason you take such an unusual personal interest in me?....HEAVY PAUSE...people are beginning to wundah"...smile and walk away. Bonjour

[/ QUOTE ]

Oooh! I like that! Perfect comeback!

 

[jada1111]

Re: HATER UPDATE: \"Why do you always wear that bun?

I'm a little late on this, but couldn't a simple "I just like wearing my hair this way" do?

I don't know, I guess because people don't come up to me asking these stupid questions I can't fathom what I would say. People just don't say things like this to me.

That's why I'm always shocked when I read how it happens to you guys. I guess homegirl had it coming.