Is my stylist a hater??

[locabouthair]

No professional or expert I know of in any profession likes to feel like their expertise is useless or obsolete. I know that as a marketing professional, when people basically tell me anyone can do my job, it does get my hackles up a After that, I decided not to mention that tips and tools I've learned from the hair boards to hair stylists. .

QUOTE]

i agree with this. she might have felt a little insulted because she feels she should know about hair cause that's her job. but a lot stylist don't know certain things. JMO but that's another topic. and i learned long time ago not to tell anyone about my hair practices. it's a shame but if someone was to ask me what's the thing i am most secretive about, i would say it's my hair. i've had my friend go off on me cause she found out i used s curl, which mind you was the only thing that kept my hair soft. we are all trying to grow our hair who needs that negativity? and sometimes when you hear negative things like that from people you start doubting yourself and start with bad hair habits all over again and no progress is made. so i tell no one bout my hair.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

DO NOT GO BACK TO HER. You have a wealth of resources here to help you how to maintain EVERY part of your haircare regimen. If push comes to shove, you can ask for referrals from ladies here on the board.

You don't need negative energy and friviolous nonsense getting in the way of you attaining your goals. Cut ties with her and move on...otherwise, your next thread may be one of the, "My stylist chopped all my hair off/overprocessed my hair/was mean to me today" and that's just unnecessary.

{DI}

 

[Treasure2k6]

Thanks for the advise. It seems that is the route I am going to take because her statements did not rub me the right way. I had been going to for awhile, and my hair stayed the same length....thats why I started doing research.

DO NOT GO BACK TO HER. You have a wealth of resources here to help you how to maintain EVERY part of your haircare regimen. If push comes to shove, you can ask for referrals from ladies here on the board.

You don't need negative energy and friviolous nonsense getting in the way of you attaining your goals. Cut ties with her and move on...otherwise, your next thread may be one of the, "My stylist chopped all my hair off/overprocessed my hair/was mean to me today" and that's just unnecessary.

{DI}

 

[Treasure2k6]

I know, i fetl uncomfortable tellin her, but i thought she should know and would be happy.

I would NEVER tell a hair stylist about my hair care. They just don't understand. I don't even tell my family what I do to my hair.

 

[Treasure2k6]

Thats exactly what happend! I started doubting myself a bit. She is also a friend of mine so, it was terribly uncomfortable. Thought she would be more supportive.

No professional or expert I know of in any profession likes to feel like their expertise is useless or obsolete. I know that as a marketing professional, when people basically tell me anyone can do my job, it does get my hackles up a After that, I decided not to mention that tips and tools I've learned from the hair boards to hair stylists. .

QUOTE]

i agree with this. she might have felt a little insulted because she feels she should know about hair cause that's her job. but a lot stylist don't know certain things. JMO but that's another topic. and i learned long time ago not to tell anyone about my hair practices. it's a shame but if someone was to ask me what's the thing i am most secretive about, i would say it's my hair. i've had my friend go off on me cause she found out i used s curl, which mind you was the only thing that kept my hair soft. we are all trying to grow our hair who needs that negativity? and sometimes when you hear negative things like that from people you start doubting yourself and start with bad hair habits all over again and no progress is made. so i tell no one bout my hair.

 

[Treasure2k6]

Thanks for the advise!

I am so sorry to hear that, I really think it depends on how comfortable you feel going back. For me, I would probably sever those ties and move on. I mean it was rude and wrong for her to lash out at you no matter if those were her true feelings. Ultimately, you will have to decide, but I mean someone who should be helping you maintain your hair should congratulate your progress.

 

[Treasure2k6]

I am learning the hard way.

I would NEVER tell a hair stylist about my hair care. They just don't understand. I don't even tell my family what I do to my hair.

 

[Treasure2k6]

....So very very ture

These were my exact thoughts also. I don't tell everybody what I do especially not someone who's doing something to my hair. I'll tell her small things but most things I keep to myself.

 

[Treasure2k6]

LMAO!

I answered yes before I even opened the thread....I may be a "stylist hater"

 

[Treasure2k6]

This reminds me of when I first started my hair care journey back in April. Just before I found this board, I bought Cathy Howse's book and read it. A week later, I went to get my hair done and mentioned to my (ex) hairdresser about how the book says that brushing your hair isn't good, that it will pull it out, and her reaction was typical, she thought that was the stupidest thing she's ever heard. I realized then that if I told her what else I had been learning, she'd have the same negative reaction.

I totally agree with the other ladies. Your hairdresser's ego is probably bruised, but after the harsh and negative words she gave you, I wouldn't go near her.

I'm not going back.

 

[Treasure2k6]

Thank you! It did come straight from the heart...beacuse I feel torn a bit. I have been going to her for a while now, however, I wanted more than just my hair to look good. I want to see length!! My hair stayed shoulder length the entire time I was going to her.

This is a really honest post and I want you to know that it's appreciated!

 

[caribeandiva]

DO NOT go back to this woman even if your life depended on it. she's clueless about haircare and was probably only taught how to style hair not care for it.

 

[Treasure2k6]

I now know!!

i think you have to be selective with the people you decide to share you hair care practices with

most methods mentioned on this board go against many peoples beliefs regarding hair care

a stylist being a trained licensed professional will not accept most of the methods practiced on this board

it's just like how many medical doctors dismiss uncoventional treaments for diseases, it goes against everything they were taught

i don't think your stylist is being a hater, her reaction was not out of the ordinary

if i were you i would find a new stylist, you offended her and she just may take it out on your hair

unless your next stylist is a lhcf member don't share your regimine with him/her

 

[Treasure2k6]

She is also a friend. Thats why i sent the pics, becuase we usually talk about everything!! I have learned where to draw the line with her now.

Just curious. Why did you send her pics and tell her so much about what you are doing? I guess you're starting to learn that most of what we do here is not well recepted or respected by others.

I don't think she's a hater, just offended. I'm sorry your experience wasn't pleasant, but based on most LHCF'ers experiences, her reaction is the norm for many stylists.

 

[Treasure2k6]

I used to go to her like every 2 weeks 2 years ago. I cut it down to once a month because she is very scissor happy!!

What do your instincts tell you? You know your results are real. Do you think she is the type that would damage your hair to prove herself right?

 

[natstar]

Don't go back to her-for your hair's safety.

 

[anatomicallycorrect]

I think she was way too strong in her wording, but I look at it this way:

She went to school for this. She is considered a hair care expert in her state by law. Based on your post, you basically said that x,y,z, none of which were from the professional's own doing, were the reasons your hair grew so much.

No professional or expert I know of in any profession likes to feel like their expertise is useless or obsolete. I know that as a marketing professional, when people basically tell me anyone can do my job, it does get my hackles up a bit.

I think this is a matter of looking at things, and I look at it differently. If her stylist came away with the impression that her "expertise" was being doubted b/c the Treasure tried other methods that worked, then that is her problem, not Treasure's. The truth of the matter is that the way she is styling her hair is inferior b/c she highlighted her hair, which has caused breakage and damage. It sounds to me that Treasure was getting inferior haircare, called her stylist on it, and now her stylist is mad, defensive and making insane excuses for her hair growth, and criticizing methods that WE all of this forum know work. It would be one thing if Treasure was dousing her hair in snake's piss nightly, then going to her stylist saying it's growing. She is using MTG which works for a lot of women on this forum (not me, but many...) and thus has been proven enough in that regard. While her stylist is criticising taking stuff made for horses, I don't see her saying a thing about the harsh chemicals she herself is putting in Treasure's hair that damaged it.

Anyone with intelligence, and confidence in their own knowlege knows that what they do for their clients is only the tip of the iceberg and the real care and maintenence occurs at home, by the client. Doctors, personal trainers, and good hairdressers know that they can do their best in their session, but it is up to the client to follow a healthy regimen to maintain their work. If her stylist doesn't like what she's doing on her own at home, why hasn't she given Treasure a regimen to follow in between salon visits? "Licensed" definitely doesn't not equal "expert".

In my profession, no I wouldn't want to feel that my knowlege is obsolete, that is why I read, participate in continuing education, and listen to what people say with an open mind and when someone says something I've not heard of, I go read and learn the pros and cons of their "home grown" remedies, to let them know that I know what they're doing is safe, or not.

I hope this didn't come off as an attack or challenege to what you've written. I am peeved at her stylist, not anyone else.

Oh, and my advice Treasure, is to find a new stylist

 

[blazingthru]

I would not go back, she might cut off all your new growth with a "free trim" show your butt who's the boss. No seriously, I can understand you wanting to share. I think a lot of us on here, after learning so much wanted to share all that we learned and hit a lot of road blocks doing it. So now I vent on here or share on here. I tell some of my family members who are really struggling to grow out their hair how I did it and offer to help them and for the most part they want to listen. But others are know it alls and know what is best for them. Walk on sister- you know what your doing. thats what I say to myself and still keep moving on. I don't go to my stylist because she said that natural hair is horrible, ugly and just not the thing to do. I'll go and visit when it gets shoulder length. she will be shocked- she said I would never grow my hair long. Hah. Can't wait

 

[keluric]

I just wouldn't disclose. I haven't been to stylist in a long time but when I was getting flat-ironed every week, I was taking Viviscal and my hair was taking off.. my stylist said that it might be a placebo.. yeah, ok.

 

[buttaflye03]

I wouldn't go back. She'll probably start dissing your hair left and right just to show you how you are damaging your own hair. Next thing you know, you'll need a "trim" and we all know how that ends up

 

[Proudpiscean]

I just wouldn't disclose. I haven't been to stylist in a long time but when I was getting flat-ironed every week, I was taking Viviscal and my hair was taking off.. my stylist said that it might be a placebo.. yeah, ok.

WTH?? A placebo!

 

[Proudpiscean]

I think this is a matter of looking at things, and I look at it differently. If her stylist came away with the impression that her "expertise" was being doubted b/c the Treasure tried other methods that worked, then that is her problem, not Treasure's. The truth of the matter is that the way she is styling her hair is inferior b/c she highlighted her hair, which has caused breakage and damage. It sounds to me that Treasure was getting inferior haircare, called her stylist on it, and now her stylist is mad, defensive and making insane excuses for her hair growth, and criticizing methods that WE all of this forum know work. It would be one thing if Treasure was dousing her hair in snake's piss nightly, then going to her stylist saying it's growing. She is using MTG which works for a lot of women on this forum (not me, but many...) and thus has been proven enough in that regard. While her stylist is criticising taking stuff made for horses, I don't see her saying a thing about the harsh chemicals she herself is putting in Treasure's hair that damaged it.

Anyone with intelligence, and confidence in their own knowlege knows that what they do for their clients is only the tip of the iceberg and the real care and maintenence occurs at home, by the client. Doctors, personal trainers, and good hairdressers know that they can do their best in their session, but it is up to the client to follow a healthy regimen to maintain their work. If her stylist doesn't like what she's doing on her own at home, why hasn't she given Treasure a regimen to follow in between salon visits? "Licensed" definitely doesn't not equal "expert".

In my profession, no I wouldn't want to feel that my knowlege is obsolete, that is why I read, participate in continuing education, and listen to what people say with an open mind and when someone says something I've not heard of, I go read and learn the pros and cons of their "home grown" remedies, to let them know that I know what they're doing is safe, or not.

I hope this didn't come off as an attack or challenege to what you've written. I am peeved at her stylist, not anyone else.

Oh, and my advice Treasure, is to find a new stylist

Ain't that the truth!!
Definitely find another stylist.

 

[Lucia]

What do your instincts tell you? You know your results are real. Do you think she is the type that would damage your hair to prove herself right?

IMO, yes I think this stylist or any stylist would sabotage a clients hair on purpose just to prove a point, like see I told you that stuff was bad for your hair, see how much damage you had I had to cut all that hair off etc... and you'll go home feeling defeated.
DON'T GO BACK EVER. She will keep your hair at a length that she thinks is OK for her to handle and keep you dependant on her.
Find someone else and don't just drop yourself in their chair, you interview them for the job, or learn how to do your hair yourself.

 

[Lucia]

I wouldn't go back. She'll probably start dissing your hair left and right just to show you how you are damaging your own hair. Next thing you know, you'll need a "trim" and we all know how that ends up

Yeah usually from shoulder length to chin length or from BSL to shoulder length in 1 "trimm" WATCH OUT!

 

[MrsQueeny]

Yes she is a hater and no I would not go back. My stylist loves the tips I give her and passes it on. Heck she even used the MTG herself!!! I only go to her about 2-3 times a year for a press and trim and she is never offended when I bring my own products and utensils including combs. She even compliments me on my growth and will only give tips as needed. She doesn't push trims either and when I request them, she always makes sure she doesn't cut too much. That is the way ALL stylists should be. No she may not make a lot of money off of me directly but I highly recommend her and I am very loyal. Sorry this happened to you. You know the progress you are making so keep up the good work. The only other person that knows your hair better thand you is GOD. It is YOUR hair so YOU do what is best for it. Q

 

[BerrySweet]

I called my stylist this morning and told her about the wonderful things that are happening to my hair with MTG and Vitamins. I also told her about the vitamins I have been taking MSM, GNC Multi's, and my fluid intake. So....I emailed her pics to show her my progress since August. She SNAPPED ON ME!!

She said, "You think that your hair is getting full and thick because of MTG, thats made for animals....its simply your hair getting alot of build up making it appear to be thick. I am sure its making your cuticles puffy." ...Now, I also sent her pics of my new growth. The only thing she told me was that, my hair wasn't as long as it should be because I haven't been coming to her as often as I use to. To top it off, I told her about the way I have been trying to maintain my ends while the highlights are still breaking off. I told her that my new head of hair is very strong, and its only a small amount of the hightlights still there. I guess she got offended because she did my hightlights about 6 months ago, and felt that I was saying my hair was breaking because of her!!

I don't even feel comfortable with going back to her after that. I mean, its like she thinks I don't have the right to learn things on my own and care of my own hair.

LHCF Sisters, should I just brush it off, and continue allowing her to style my hair once a month??

Call her up and cuss her out lol. Yea she's hating though cuz you did better on your own than you did with her. Brush it off as a veiled compliment.

 

[BrownSkin2]

Yeah, she's a hater. I would be very leary of her and would not go back. She's peeved because your hair is in much better shape without her "expertise."

 

[luvlonghair]

DO NOT go back to this woman even if your life depended on it. she's clueless about haircare and was probably only taught how to style hair not care for it.

I'm so glad I was a member here before getting my cosmetology license. I find out that there are a lot of stylists out here, but not a lot of healthy hair specialists.

But its not just them, when I pass out my flyers, it states that I'm a healthy hair care specialist. I would get potential clients that ask me am I into healthy hair and I'd say yes. They proceed to tell me what's wrong with their hair and I'll recommend a series of treatments to stop all of the shedding/breakage their having, but they would insist on a quick weave, braids, etc.

So many African American women are so hooked on the "latest hair style" that they don't care about hair health. They just want that style. I know I could have more clients than I currently have, but I'm not going to lower my standards for that. I'm a healthy hare care specialist. When they get tired of their hair breaking, shedding from all those "latest hair styles", I'll be here waiting to nurse their hair back to health.

 

[carameldiva]

I definitely would not go back to her. I wouldn't let a stylist know what i was doing at home in the future.

 

[pinayprincess]

Leave her! That's ridiculous!