If your dying loved one asked you to...

[Anew]

Oh I just figured some of the friends' hair grew back lol...

Also it seems like people who do it aren't asked, they just do.

 

[Bigmommah]

I'm glad you took the time to share how you feel about this question. However, if you have not watched someone you love die from cancer the use of the word melodramatic is perhaps more harsh than you intend. Had my mother made the request before she died I would never have viewed it as her trying to control me. It would have been something, anything I could have done for her since there were days where we couldn't even hold her hand or rub her head. Whether it was because she was in complete isolation after stem cell replacement or in her final days when not even Level 4 pain medication being pushed in through a pump could stop her from crying as the cancer ate into her bones.

My statements are not meant to be full of melodrama, but I'm sure that the emotion that I still feel all these years after the experience is evident.

For me having watched my mother

Not knocking anyone, but some of these answers are a little melodramatic. I'm sure a bunch of you guys have had loved ones in the hospital. You know that you give a lot of yourself - time, money, emotions. You literally spend days, months, even years sitting by their side and caring for them. Why would I give up my hair to show my love? It doesn't make any sense to me. Most likely, I've already showed my love through my actions over time. If I lost all my hair to chemo, I actually wouldn't want anyone to cut their hair off for me. That would make me even sadder. Kind of like "misery loves company." Now, if someone chose to that for me, then okay....but I would never ask.

I saw that episode of "Say Yes to the Dress" where all the friends cut their hair off. 1. I noticed that not all of them had short hair, so not all of them cut it and, 2. I wondered if the ladies who cut their hair already had short cut styles.

I think dying requests are kind of creepy...people trying to control things from beyond the grave.

 

[ThickRoot]

Yes. Easy as pie, no questions asked.

 

[nikolite]

I'm glad you took the time to share how you feel about this question. However, if you have not watched someone you love die from cancer the use of the word melodramatic is perhaps more harsh than you intend. Had my mother made the request before she died I would never have viewed it as her trying to control me. It would have been something, anything I could have done for her since there were days where we couldn't even hold her hand or rub her head. Whether it was because she was in complete isolation after stem cell replacement or in her final days when not even Level 4 pain medication being pushed in through a pump could stop her from crying as the cancer ate into her bones.

My statements are not meant to be full of melodrama, but I'm sure that the emotion that I still feel all these years after the experience is evident.

For me having watched my mother

I agree. My father died of cancer and I would have loved to do anything that he requested of me to do what I could for him. Its no joke. The amount of physical pain he went through, we did whatever we could for him to at least feel better psychologically and emotionally. I wish I could've done more, as although he was in the hospital, it was unexpectedly much earlier than we all thought. Any last request would've been welcomed. In a way, its probably more of a catharsis for the living than for the dead--its a way to stay connected to those who've passed over. Even if just through shaving my head.

There are actually a lot of things he requested of me before he died (from childhood on up) that I still strive to do today. Nothing melodramatic about it. I think until someone experiences it they won't really know how it feels. Especially if its a person that's really close to you and you have a deep connection with.

 

[Guitarhero]

I agree @Solitude. I understand feeling for friends and loved ones and some of the tone here is "how dare somebody say 'no.'" But, G-d forbid, if I went through chemo with no success and were waiting to die, I wouldn't ask somebody to shave themselves to make me feel better. That, imho, is incredibly selfish. People actually shave themselves in support of a friend from free will, to let the other know that they are not alone. It's the selfless act given...not requested of. And just to make clear, many of us HAVE definitely witnessed the painful deaths of parents, siblings, friends, colleagues....mine IS coming from a place of experience.

 

[LittleLuxe]

Not knocking anyone, but some of these answers are a little melodramatic. I'm sure a bunch of you guys have had loved ones in the hospital. You know that you give a lot of yourself - time, money, emotions. You literally spend days, months, even years sitting by their side and caring for them. Why would I give up my hair to show my love? It doesn't make any sense to me. Most likely, I've already showed my love through my actions over time. If I lost all my hair to chemo, I actually wouldn't want anyone to cut their hair off for me. That would make me even sadder. Kind of like "misery loves company." Now, if someone chose to that for me, then okay....but I would never ask.

I think it depends on the emphasis you put on your body. My Father needed a kidney transplant and without thought my mother immediately got checked to see if she could donate, she could...she did. And it was the greatest gift she could ever give him. I saw what it meant to him to not only be given a gift of life (it was that serious) but also to see her fearlessness and determination to be a willing sacrifice. Time, money, and emotions are only aspects of yourself - they do not define you. As I reflect on my life I can see my mother has sacrificed little parts of herself for my benefit. She could be buying hundred dollar creams and going to the spa every week with her income if she wanted to, instead it was more important to put me through school, cater to my childish desires and just generally be a mom. So if she, God forbid, ever asked "Would you please cut your hair for me?", because of cancer where would I find the gall to deny her? It's not really melodrama. Cutting your hair is a lot less painful than being cut open and hair can always grow. I don't think hair is such an integral part of me that I need to deny an important request. What if I was diagnosed with cancer? How much would hair matter in seeing the possible end of my life in front of me? Gotta quote India Arie, "I am not my hair" it is a part of me, not me. Besides, life is about these sacrifices. I wouldn't be anywhere close to where I am in life if not for my friends and family making sacrifices for me over the years. It's like someone asking "Would you take care of me when I'm sick?", and you gotta say no because discomforts too annoying.

Cutting hair is less about what you'll do without being able to see long swinging hair everyday and more about in a physical action showing someone "I know what you're going through, I can't go through it with you, but I can do this action to show you how much I care and will be there."

 

[AwesomelyNappy]

this has me thinking, i wonder if the tables were reversed, if anyone that i know now would shave their heads for me. i dont think they would. even though i voted "yes" and i still stick by that i would for close relatives or family, i cant think of any family or friends who would (without me asking) shave, cut or donate their hair if i lost mine due to cancer/sickness. Maybe they would cut, who knows what surprises these people would pull, but i dont see them doing sympathy cuts or donating their hair for me or anybody else (and maybe they'd be just as surprised if i did so in return). Now, if i asked, (which i wouldn't) i think i may be able to get a few people with longer hair to cut it off in support of me... but i would feel as though it was the guilt that made them do it.... and i wouldn't ask anyways.

 

[Southern Belle]

I think it depends on the emphasis you put on your body. My Father needed a kidney transplant and without thought my mother immediately got checked to see if she could donate, she could...she did. And it was the greatest gift she could ever give him. I saw what it meant to him to not only be given a gift of life (it was that serious) but also to see her fearlessness and determination to be a willing sacrifice. Time, money, and emotions are only aspects of yourself - they do not define you. As I reflect on my life I can see my mother has sacrificed little parts of herself for my benefit. She could be buying hundred dollar creams and going to the spa every week with her income if she wanted to, instead it was more important to put me through school, cater to my childish desires and just generally be a mom. So if she, God forbid, ever asked "Would you please cut your hair for me?", because of cancer where would I find the gall to deny her? It's not really melodrama. Cutting your hair is a lot less painful than being cut open and hair can always grow. I don't think hair is such an integral part of me that I need to deny an important request. What if I was diagnosed with cancer? How much would hair matter in seeing the possible end of my life in front of me? Gotta quote India Arie, "I am not my hair" it is a part of me, not me. Besides, life is about these sacrifices. I wouldn't be anywhere close to where I am in life if not for my friends and family making sacrifices for me over the years. It's like someone asking "Would you take care of me when I'm sick?", and you gotta say no because discomforts too annoying.

Cutting hair is less about what you'll do without being able to see long swinging hair everyday and more about in a physical action showing someone "I know what you're going through, I can't go through it with you, but I can do this action to show you how much I care and will be there."

This is SO eloquent, and SO on point - it literally made my eyes water just now. If - God forbid, something like this happened to someone very, very close to me? Somebody that *I* love? They wouldn't even have to ask...

As much as I love me some HAIR.... I'm telling yall, that hospital encounter changed something in me fundamentally...

 

[discodumpling]

I'm just trying to understand what the cutting of MY hair would do to make ANYBODY feel anyway...good, bad or indifferent? I have had close relatives pass from cancer (among other things) I could see them asking to donate my time, my $$, my effort for a cause...but my HAIR?? What next a limb? GOD Herself would have to ask 'fore I do such a thing.

 

[Bigmommah]

Donation of enough hair to make a wig could be seen as donation of time, effort and money. I'm not sure about anyone else but I have invested plenty of all of them into my HHJ.

If I made anyone feel that I was somehow judging their choice based on the original poll question, I apologize. Decisions made at times of high stress and emotion are too individual to be defined by someone else's belief of what is "right" or "correct" even in the realm of the hypothetical.

The great thing about opinion polls is that we can all participate and talk about the way we feel and why. We don't have to change each points of view but we can have civilized discussion even without the benefit of being face-to-face.

 

[PJaye]

It's hard for me to envision a terminally ill individual making such a request. In my experience, they typically seek out forms of closure before their demise by offer words of wisdom and tying up any lose ends; in addition to rebuilding burned bridges.

 

[ladysaraii]

I think it depends on the emphasis you put on your body. My Father needed a kidney transplant and without thought my mother immediately got checked to see if she could donate, she could...she did. And it was the greatest gift she could ever give him. I saw what it meant to him to not only be given a gift of life (it was that serious) but also to see her fearlessness and determination to be a willing sacrifice. Time, money, and emotions are only aspects of yourself - they do not define you. As I reflect on my life I can see my mother has sacrificed little parts of herself for my benefit. She could be buying hundred dollar creams and going to the spa every week with her income if she wanted to, instead it was more important to put me through school, cater to my childish desires and just generally be a mom. So if she, God forbid, ever asked "Would you please cut your hair for me?", because of cancer where would I find the gall to deny her? It's not really melodrama. Cutting your hair is a lot less painful than being cut open and hair can always grow. I don't think hair is such an integral part of me that I need to deny an important request. What if I was diagnosed with cancer? How much would hair matter in seeing the possible end of my life in front of me? Gotta quote India Arie, "I am not my hair" it is a part of me, not me. Besides, life is about these sacrifices. I wouldn't be anywhere close to where I am in life if not for my friends and family making sacrifices for me over the years. It's like someone asking "Would you take care of me when I'm sick?", and you gotta say no because discomforts too annoying.

Cutting hair is less about what you'll do without being able to see long swinging hair everyday and more about in a physical action showing someone "I know what you're going through, I can't go through it with you, but I can do this action to show you how much I care and will be there."

To me there, is a big difference between donating a kidney and cutting hair. The kidney is vital to living, but a cancer patient wont die if they dont have a wig made of my hair.

I wouldn't cut my hair for someone, but I would help them get a great wig. but I'm not the type to ask someone to cut their hair for me.

 

[Morenita]

Yes, without hesitation. It's just hair and it will grow back. I lost my mother to cancer in 2006, and many other loved ones as well.

 

[Uniquely Blessed]

If the clouds rolled away, angelic voices began to sing, a dove descended from heaven and rested upon my loved one, no wait, if the clouds rolled away, angelic voices began to sing, and a dove descended on ME....well maybe? Ha ha
Don't see the point when there are all kinds of wigs already available.

 

[LittleLuxe]

Donation of enough hair to make a wig could be seen as donation of time, effort and money. I'm not sure about anyone else but I have invested plenty of all of them into my HHJ.

If I made anyone feel that I was somehow judging their choice based on the original poll question, I apologize. Decisions made at times of high stress and emotion are too individual to be defined by someone else's belief of what is "right" or "correct" even in the realm of the hypothetical.

The great thing about opinion polls is that we can all participate and talk about the way we feel and why. We don't have to change each points of view but we can have civilized discussion even without the benefit of being face-to-face.

Very true and well said to the bolded, it all comes down to personal experience and feelings with the understanding things can flip on their side in that moment in either direction.

This is SO eloquent, and SO on point - it literally made my eyes water just now. If - God forbid, something like this happened to someone very, very close to me? Somebody that *I* love? They wouldn't even have to ask...

As much as I love me some HAIR.... I'm telling yall, that hospital encounter changed something in me fundamentally...

It took my breath away when I read it so I know it had to have hit you deep to experience it.

To me there, is a big difference between donating a kidney and cutting hair. The kidney is vital to living, but a cancer patient wont die if they dont have a wig made of my hair.

I wouldn't cut my hair for someone, but I would help them get a great wig. but I'm not the type to ask someone to cut their hair for me.

I alluded to that, cutting your hair is nowhere close to being cut open, and personally I would be fine to do it. I've seen people go to great lengths for others (there was an article about a man who forced himself to experience hunger/eating less because his girlfriend was struggling with anorexia and he wanted to show her he understood) in a show of support/understanding/or as a gift. I stated my reasoning but I know everyone is different and has different emotional connections as well as different ways they're willing to help/support another person.

 

[Evolving78]

no i wouldn't, but i would donate my time/money to cancer patient and family support foundations/persons.

 

[Star143]

Probably not, but I would get them the best human hair lace front that I could buy! In these days and time when you can buy hair, why does anyone need to shave their head bald to make a wig for someone?

I promise, I'm a nice girl

I agree with this!

 

[Chevelure618]

I'd blow dry it straight. Then I'd fold it under (JustThisGirl1 has a video on this) and pin it so that it looks just like a short bob.

 

[CherryCherryBoomBoom]

Interesting choice of words.

I'd do it for someone I really love in an instant. No second thoughts about it. It grows back.

Well, what I meant was, I'm not one of those lucky people like those on this board who's hair grows real quick. If I was, then I wouldn't mind cutting it every single year if I could grow it back to APL-BSL in that time. BUT, I've been trying to grow my hair since 2008 from SL, and it's still not APL for goodness sake! So um, I wasn't trying to sound at all selfish, it's just that since my hair isn't all that great, who'd really want it anyway? Any donation from me would be more useful in the form of money, to be put into the research, care and treatments of cancer. Also, treating disease is always better than giving someone a human hair wig to hide their baldness (not that I'm disapproving of the latter at all, self esteem is important, but I'm just thinking about priorities).

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

Yep, no problem...this hair ain't worth the smile of a loved one's face (I mean, when I have hair...lol)

Couldn't have said it better

 

[katblack]

No, the person could purchase a wig. Heck I would purchase them a wig. I am not really for people using real hair, because a lot of cruelty and exploitation is done when real hair is concerned. Many are exploited for their hair, children and women wake up bald for greed of money. I know it comes from a good place to donate one's hair for another, but I would rather purchase a really good synthetics than give my hair away, it has nothing to do with me cutting off my hair, I've done it soo many times. I really think that vanity is the last thing to go....
Instead of ignoring the fact that cancer patients often lose their hair, they should be emraced. Why pretend like nothing happened...?

 

[frizzy]

If cutting my hair saved lives, I would stay being bald, but unfortunately, it doesn't.

 

[Tangie]

I would absolutely shave my head. No hesitation.

 

[Missjae09]

I would definitely do it!

 

[BostonMaria]

I'd do it in a heartbeat

 

[GodivaChocolate]

No... what purpose does it serve, esp when there's wigs and weaves

 

[DSP]

They wouldn't have to ask. I'd just do it.

Then I'd read Gift of the Magi and Little Women every night until my hair grew back.

 

[Detroit2Dallas]

I would do it in a heartbeat! That would be the LEAST I could do and I would rock lashes and fierce makeup and accessories and be honored. It wouldnt even have to be a very close relative or friend honestly. You only get ONE life and death but hair contiuosly grows.

 

[jazzypha85]

I would I have one cousin who is 26 and just beat cancer and last year this time her sister who is 32 was battling the same cancer. I have lost both of my maternal great-grandparents to cancer in which my great-grandmother was bald and had to wear wigs. It kinda hurt me when my cousin kept saying "Im going to lose my hair to chemo anyways so I might as well do what I can now".

 

[mstar]

No, I wouldn't. I don't understand the question, to be honest...why would the cancer patient be demanding I cut off my hair to give to another cancer patient? What good would that do?

It sounds like a creepy (and rather controlling) request.