I was just looking for toilet paper...

[silenttullip]

I would DUMP HIM!
Not for having pictures and letters from an ex (guys do odd stuff like that)
I'd dump him for lying about the reason they broke up based on what you read
they were making future plans and that lie means he's hiding something unless
he said she dumped him. If he asked why I was breaking up with him I'd say
I really don't think we trust each other and totally end it there.
Then after dumping him I'd slap myself because athough
you saw the box YOU HAD NO KIND OF RIGHT TO READ IT!!! I would take time to
work on myself and level of trust in general.

 

[Crystal]

I think what you found was harmless but I'm not against you snooping though. I think all women should snoop. If you don't find any gay porn, animal porn, child porn, scat porn, STD medication, prison release papers, arrest warrants, marriage licenses, body parts in a jar, etc... then it's all good. BUT if you find something serious much more serious than an old love letter written two years ago, then you need to be prepared to accept your findings and move on. Your find was harmless... now go through the rest of his ish and comeback and report your findings...lol

 

[GeorginaSparks]

LOL....dramatic much at the poster above that said to dump. Going to counseling does not = headed for marriage.

#1 You snooped...no biggie but you will find what you're looking for.
#2 Ive found Men hold on to stuff from past relationships like pics on their computers, scrapbooks(who does that sht anyway) and the stupid stuff. Not because they care but because they're not thinking too hard about it.
#3 You're overthinking it.

 

[Lenee925]

Be cool and just watch him like Mai Tai said.

 

[carcajada]

Hey some ppl keep tp in the closet. I had no intentions of snooping but really a shoebox with no lid and a picture of you and your ex sitting at the top in the middle of the floor with the closet wide open... Temptation got the best of me.

That's besides the point I definitely feel lied too. Im just not sure of what to do. Leave him alone now or get my heart broken later.

I keep toilet paper in a downstairs closet. Don't feel bad about assuming that.

straight up: he's leaving a crack in the door open for her in his life. It's just not normal for a guy, IMO, to hang on to stuff like that unless they see themselves revisiting the past in the future. Beware.

 

[God_Favor]

You snooped so don't bring it up. His past, is just that. His past. And u guys just started dating, a brand new relationship, right? He may not be ready to really pour his heart out about his old loves to u yet. Men think differently. And u reading his very personal stuff then questioning it will be very foul. And it would really put something in the back of his mind.

U have no right to make him talk about an ex or old relationship. Seems like he is living in the present and looking forward to a future with you. he has the FULL right to say it didn't work, I moved on about the women from his past.

The only reason he would need to talk about her is if they had a child or she gave I'm a life long STD.

And I won't lie , I would've snooped too. Just would not metion it.

sent from HTC EVO

 

[Windsy]

I would DUMP HIM!
Not for having pictures and letters from an ex (guys do odd stuff like that)
I'd dump him for lying about the reason they broke up based on what you read
they were making future plans and that lie means he's hiding something unless
he said she dumped him. If he asked why I was breaking up with him I'd say
I really don't think we trust each other and totally end it there.
Then after dumping him I'd slap myself because athough
you saw the box YOU HAD NO KIND OF RIGHT TO READ IT!!! I would take time to
work on myself and level of trust in general.

You should've lived up to your user name and kept silent....

 

[lesedi]

OP, told a couple of friends your experience, and ALL of them said you weren't just looking for toilet paper! Ain't nothing wrong with a lil snooping, I do it
But let's call a spade a spade

 

[glamchick84]

I wouldn't worry about it..it was old and you guys are a new couple. you haven't really given him time to get rid of it. I still had old memories stashed away in an old shoe box, that i forgot about while my dh and I was dating. It did not mean I was holding something from him, I just honestly forgot about the old shoe box. I found it later on and that's when I trashed it. I wouldn't stress over it though!!

 

[calmsensual1]

Girl, stop trying to make something out of nothing. Most people lie about their exes. Hell, I've lied to my husband about my relationships. I've always implied that they weren't as serious as they were just to make him understand that they are TOTALLY irrelevant now.

Thats in the past, let it go. Unless you see her emailing him or calling him.

 

[Intuitive630]

OP, told a couple of friends your experience, and ALL of them said you weren't just looking for toilet paper! Ain't nothing wrong with a lil snooping, I do it
But let's call a spade a spade

It's the truth. I really didn't want to look for trouble and ruin a good thing, it was just one of those weird situations you may be in at one time or another when trouble is staring you in the face. Then you have two choices either to walk away or pique your curiosity. You see which one I made lol.

ETA: I'm not that creative, I suck when it comes to lying.

 

[Leesh]

Leesh, I'm not being confrontational and I know OP has made her decision. I just feel sometimes we as women don't work from what we know and go with assumptions. We let our imaginations take over and that may not be what's happening at all. It's a farily new relationship only time will tell.

A lot of women get tripped up with what the other woman is doing when in fact it doesn't matter unless he's doing it with her. OP is in a relationship with the guy, not his ex. So the feelings and intentions of the ex has absolutely nothing to do with OP's relationship with this man.

Like another poster mentioned, the guy could feel one way while the girl feels another. Happens all the time. Her writing a letter thanking him to go to counselling means she might of asked him to go, whereas he may not have gone with her otherwise. Pure speculation at this point. Who knows it's not worth the worry because honestly she's still getting to know this man.

@CurlyMoo, Wow, you broke my post down, hon.
Ok, From the information given by OP, she is working with what she knows, it may be all she knows, but it's what she knows.

The fact that the Ex stated that they went to counseling does not mean, "SHE" was the one with the issues, It may have been couples counseling, that he may not have wanted to attend, who knows. We don't know why they went, but we do know they did.

Also, when I stated that he wasn't being truthful, that had nothing to do with the way he feels about OP, it was pertaining to him deducing his past relationship with his Ex to virtually nothing.
I went off of what she stated, which was, "They weren't making any plans for the future.....Just having fun". With what she found it sounded more serious than that. It was actually quite personal. So that negates it for me.

I never said anything pertaining to the Ex's intentions at all. The only reason I mentioned "At least it was for her", Is cause he begs to differ.

You may be right about the box itself, but that also depends on the individual. I personally can't and won't hang on to anything of someones there's no feelings for, period. But that's just me.

And keeping your eyes open is what any soul in a young relationship should do, why not. I would prefer to see all the foolishness up front while Im not that invested then to wait till I've wasted time. Life is too short to be putting forth an effort with someone that you clearly saw red lights with early on.

ETA: At red bolded, Whose to say it isn't the other way around. Just food for thought!

 

[nathansgirl1908]

This is one of those times when you should recognize a red flag and not avoid it. And don't let people make you feel like a snoop. I agree with another poster who said it was meant for you to find that box. Be careful. And keep your eyes open.

 

[treybaby2005]

Now I am seeing why people joke on here about LHCF keeping people single. Where is the lie that the guy told??? Many people hate to revisit their past. Maybe the girl did hurt him? Maybe it was more serious than what he told you OP but that doesn't mean that he still wants to be with her. I say do not mention going through his box. He trusted you enough to leave you alone in his home and you don't want to betray his trust by snooping again. Let it go and if he is lying and this ex means more to him than what he is letting on, you will know.

And if anything,keep a mental note and make sure there aren't any new love letters or such from now on.
I didnt see the big deal.I kept old things from exes and my dh did too.Its not like we sit indian style discussing our past either but everyone does have a past.

 

[tropical-punch]

Isn't toilet paper usually kept in the bathroom?

 

[gabulldawg]

Hmmmm I would prob be bothered by finding something like that 2 but u have 2 decide if u want 2 confront him about it or just sit on it and be cautious. I've done my fair share of snooping and don't really see 2 much wrong with it. Anytime I've found serious info while snooping I've confronted and dealt with it.

Sent from my HTC Glacier using HTC Glacier

 

[LovinLea]

I keep a memory box. I'm laughing because in it I have a picture of me with a guy that I didn't like but it was a formal occasion that was important to me. I wonder what would happen if an SO looked through my box and saw that....

Your relationship is relatively new and he's going to reveal himself to you little by little. He said that they broke up because their relationship didn't have a future. I don't think he was lying about that.