I Need this Man out of My House!

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BeautifulMe

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I have been dating this guy for about 6 years and we recently moved in together. He was recently homeless and couldn't get an apartment in his name so I put the apartment in my name. Everything was good the first few weeks of moving in, but now he smokes marijuana everyday sand it has put a strain on our relationship.

When he smokes marijuana, he gets paranoid. He comes home and accuses me of sleeping with other men while he is at work and a few times he charged at me like he was going to hit me and I had to pull out a few weapons on him. The problem is that he pays most of the bills and I kind of need his money until I get my refund check from Financial Aid.

I do work part time but my income right now is about $150-200 a week. My plan was to just call the police and get him out but that is very dangerous for he will know where I stay and he is the type that will show up when he feels like it. Plus, he he gets angry when I threaten to kick him out since he says he pays bills in here. The police is really my last option right now, because he has a really bad temper and has been known to cause damage to things and I don't need that type of stuff on my rental record. I can get kicked out.

My plan was that I was going to make a fake eviction notice and put it on our door. That is the only way I think he will leave peacefully. I can't be stressed out everyday when he comes home high and tries to start arguments with me. I'm to my wits' end. As soon as I get my refund check, he has to go. However, I was wondering if any of you ladies had any ideas
 
Wow. My only advice is to see if the landlord will let you break the lease. If so find a cheaper place by yourself. If not your only recourse maybe to call the police especially if he is trying to get physical.
 
Op is there anyone you can stay with till you get your check? Then you can get an entirely different residence and start fresh, at the same time you wont have to worry about him knowing where you reside.
 
If you've been dating 6 years, you had to know something about his behavior. Why in the world would you live with him, let alone date him period? How old are you?
 
This is really off topic and I'll leave other comments for the other posters but why create a fake eviction notice if the rent is being paid. You said he pays the bills correct?

Do you have any family you can stay with temporarily.
 
ok..so lemme git dis straight.

*lights up a newport one hunnit*

yall was datin for 6 years, then he became homeless "all of a sudden." he smoke weed erryday and now u want him out cuz he violent and gets paranoid.

his credit was messed up so he couldn't get a place in his name so u got it in your name. u can't pay da rent now cuz u waitin on a refund check, but meanwhile, back at da ranch, he pays da bills.

so now u wanna fake an eviction so he can leave. u doin too much. wasn't he smokin weed when yall met?

sumfin ain't right....

ETA -- How did he become homeless? someone else put him out? c'mon na...out wif it.
 
I wish I could help or had some advice but IDK, your situation has way too much going on. I'll just wish you luck and hope everything works out for the best. Try to stay safe.
 
I was thinking the same thing. The smoking weed thing is not new. Maybe it was something that was being ignored until it was in her house.

january noir said:
If you've been dating 6 years, you had to know something about his behavior. Why in the world would you live with him, let alone date him period? How old are you?
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Carrie A said:
This is really off topic and I'll leave other comments for the other posters but why create a fake eviction notice if the rent is being paid. You said he pays the bills correct?
Click to expand...

It was going to be an eviction based on disturbances such as loud noises since we are always arguing.
 
ThatJerseyGirl said:
ok..so lemme git dis straight.

*lights up a newport one hunnit*

yall was datin for 6 years, then he became homeless "all of a sudden." he smoke weed erryday and now u want him out cuz he violent and gets paranoid.

his credit was messed up so he couldn't get a place in his name so u got it in your name. u can't pay da rent now cuz u waitin on a refund check, but meanwhile, back at da ranch, he pays da bills.

so now u wanna fake an eviction so he can leave. u doin too much. wasn't he smokin weed when yall met?

sumfin ain't right....

ETA -- How did he become homeless? someone else put him out? c'mon na...out wif it.
Click to expand...

Yes, he was but him accusing me of other men is the whole purpose and reason of what's going on right now. It wasn't like this before.
 
but why would u leave where u were to move in with someone who was once homeless? especially if u only workin part time? u hustled backwards....
 
karezone said:
Wow. My only advice is to see if the landlord will let you break the lease. If so find a cheaper place by yourself. If not your only recourse maybe to call the police especially if he is trying to get physical.
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That's what I don't want to do, because these apartments already gave me a second chance. I had a broken lease before and I'm not trying to go through that again.
 
^^ If it's a volatile situation and you are feeling threatened then you may have to leave yourself. Do you have family you can stay with temp?
 
BeautifulMe said:
That's what I don't want to do, because these apartments already gave me a second chance. I had a broken lease before and I'm not trying to go through that again.
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If your life is at danger, I would pursue it. There's nothing wrong with a broken lease as long as the landlord agrees to it. It doesn't affect your credit or rental history as long as you have paid on time.
 
ThatJerseyGirl said:
but why would u leave where u were to move in with someone who was once homeless? especially if u only workin part time? u hustled backwards....
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I was staying with my brother and I thought it was logical to move into my own place with someone I was dating since we both were staying with people at one point. I can't/couldn't predict the future. I didn't know he was going to be getting out of line like he is now.
 
BeautifulMe said:
That's what I don't want to do, because these apartments already gave me a second chance. I had a broken lease before and I'm not trying to go through that again.
Click to expand...

OP the way I see it.... your only option is to abandon the apartment.

You can check with the landlord to see if you can buy out of the lease to save your rental history otherwise you may have to chuck this apartment as a loss.

Based on what you've stated you should leave and make sure he can't find you.
 
He comes home and accuses me of sleeping with other men while he is at work and a few times he charged at me like he was going to hit me and I had to pull out a few weapons on him.
Click to expand...

Your health and safety are paramount. Get advice about your living situation from a domestic violence organization. I am sure they deal with issues like this. Call the police if you feel threatened again.
 
Go back to your brothers, don't make a fake eviction just take care of you and this means you might have to struggle and be uncomfortable to be eventually comfortable.
Get with it ASAP!
 
I agree with the suggestion of going to the shelter. Perferably a women's shelter. or anywhere else for that matter, just get out! I would hate to hear that something happened to you. This man has already provided that he can be violent and is on drugs....bad combination.

Are there children in this mix? What are you going to school for? Are you close to finishing?

BTW: You do not "NEED" that man for anything.
 
I think the suggestions of going to a shelter or back to your brother's are good ones. You need to get out of there as soon as possible before he becomes more violent, better safe than sorry. I truly hope you get out of this situation and cut all ties with him.
 
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BeautifulMe said:
I was staying with my brother and I thought it was logical to move into my own place with someone I was dating since we both were staying with people at one point. I can't/couldn't predict the future. I didn't know he was going to be getting out of line like he is now.
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Ray Charles is blind and dead and can see this didn't make any sense at all.

Its been SIX years he didn't just get like this.

There is nothing logical about choosing to move in with someone you are dating when you (by your own words) can't pull your own weight. Its one thing to have a roommate where you split things 50/50 but a dude that can't get an apt in his own name that you are dependant on to pay the bills is a RED FLAG. Finances matter. Your name being on the lease means nothing if you can't afford to keep the apt on your own. You hustling backwards for real. Cut your losses and put him in the past. Go back to your brother, offer him some $$ while you are there and save up until you are ready to be grown on your own dime.
 
OP, get all of. your stuff & leave.NOW!! Go to your brothers place. Leave nothing & tell him nothing. you don't want to have to go back and possibly run into him.
 
I know you need to focus on how to get out of this sitution and go forward, but i need to ask was this always an abusive relationship?? Was this an exclusive 6 year relationship??

I think since he is abusing you need to take your lost. You are young and this blemish on your credit will not scar you forever. Pack your stuff while he is at work since an attack may occur if he is there. Get the cops to be there as you move your stuff. Hopefully he will continue to pay rent since he was homeless before hand. If he decides to leave too, you still come out on top because you are safe and have peace of mind.
 
Most states will allow domestic violence victims to abandon their apartment and/or lease without financial consequences. I agree with the poster who recommended for you to contact a domestic violence organization in your state as they could provide you with support and resources.
 
I think this thread may be why she moved out of her brother's place or may not consider going back...her brother is 19 and doesn't work... :( http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=622833


Fine 4s said:
Go back to your brothers, don't make a fake eviction just take care of you and this means you might have to struggle and be uncomfortable to be eventually comfortable.
Get with it ASAP!
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BrandNew said:
I think the suggestions of going to a shelter or back to your brother's are good ones. You need to get out of there as soon as possible before he becomes more violent, better safe than sorry. I truly hope you get out of this situation and cut all ties with him.
Click to expand...

bklynbornNbred said:
Ray Charles is blind and dead and can see this didn't make any sense at all.

Its been SIX years he didn't just get like this.

There is nothing logical about choosing to move in with someone you are dating when you (by your own words) can't pull your own weight. Its one thing to have a roommate where you split things 50/50 but a dude that can't get an apt in his own name that you are dependant on to pay the bills is a RED FLAG. Finances matter. Your name being on the lease means nothing if you can't afford to keep the apt on your own. You hustling backwards for real. Cut your losses and put him in the past. Go back to your brother, offer him some $$ while you are there and save up until you are ready to be grown on your own dime.
Click to expand...

A856 said:
OP, get all of. your stuff & leave.NOW!! Go to your brothers place. Leave nothing & tell him nothing. you don't want to have to go back and possibly run into him.
Click to expand...
 
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