My man hates natural hair

[bklynbornNbred]

Why are you giving privileges to someone with the title of "your man" when you've only been dating a short time? Dating is that time you get to know someone and if they show their arse you keep it moving. You don't interview one person for a job and then hope it works out. Get your interview skills up with multiple people until you find that one that is worth getting to know better.

As for this dude he's shown his arse. Nothing to talk about...keep it moving. The person that is worth the title of your man will love you as you are (within reason of course). How you wear your hair shouldn't even be in the realm of things he gives a darn about).

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

My hair is nonnegotiable. He needs to like it (or pretend to) however I wear it. Including tied up at night to go to bed. Love me, love ALL of me. Man, I really love my SO. He supports me in everything, including all my crazy hair stuff.

This. I can kinda relate to the OP because while my SO doesn't prefer natural hair, but he has to deal because that's how I wear mine. (He doesn't like any kind of weaves or extensions either, but well, I wear those from time to time too. Oh well.)

From the way you described it, he definitely comes off as an a-hole the way he came at you about your hair. erplexed That ain't cool. And just like the other ladies have said, it sounds like he hasn't put in ANY kind of time/investment to even be making these kinds of comments.

 

[Evolving78]

if you are adamant about wearing your natural hair and he is adamant about not liking it the future relationship will not work.

So what did you decide to do? Perfexion

 

[bgsix]

OP hope you have kicked him to the curb already. He sounded like an a-hole

 

[Shawn]

I don't think there's anything wrong with a man expressing his preference and exploring whether his lady could see her way clear to accommodating that preference. If he becomes a nag and you can't stand it, then you can always walk. But I wouldn't throw out the baby with the bath water.

 

[chronicity]

A preference is one thing, but getting passionately upset over a simple hair style choice indicates a critical and controlling mindset.

If you're not ready to throw in the towel just yet, have a serious talk with him about your hair and his opinions. It's yours to do with as you please, you prefer it natural and therefore natural is how it will stay, and you would like him to respect that by keeping his opinions about straightening to himself. Tell him it's important that you be with a man who accepts and appreciates your natural beauty and is laid-back enough to let you be you. If he balks at this or tries to insist that you're expecting too much, that's your cue to leave.

 

[God_Favor]

Did OP ever come back to give us an update about her "man"???

 

[nubiennze]

This.

A friend of mine is like this. He meets women all dolled up, then proceeds to convert them (weaves taken out, minimal makeup, go ahead and gain a little weight) then he gets distracted and bored....he's on to the next.....Meanwhile touting he only likes "natural" women while meeting women all dolled up. Lol

It's weird.

I've been observing this very trend in a relative of mine: he relishes/demands blind obedience at the onset, and when the woman obliges, he deems her weak/dense/"easy" and loses respect for her. All the while complaining about how undesirable and unfeminine women who are too headstrong/independent/outspoken are, naturally.

IME insecure/beta men handle women to whom they feel entitled (but don't necessarily believe they deserve) in one of two ways: self-sabotage before things get off the ground, or personally seeing to it that she no longer dares to think highly of herself once he's done with her. I could start a whole other thread about this, so I'll bow out and dig up some of the narcissism threads before I derail this one...

As for the OP, I'll echo most of the sentiments I've read so far: I'd tell him that a relaxer isn't in my foreseeable future, so if this issue is of such deep emotional significance to him, perhaps his time would be better spent seeking out women who fit his preferred aesthetic.