I just needed to get something off my chest

[cocochanty]

I'm 24 and I feel like my whole outlook on life is changing. Like for some reason I feel like my body and heart is telling me to find a mate. A long-term mate. Like before all of this I would just look at men. But now I loooooook at men ya know? Like their family history and where they work at. It's kind of like I'm subconsciously screening men for marriage and not even realize that I'm doing. I'm actually scared because I never felt this way before.

I was always the academicism type. My GPA was really my main focus. Now that I got school out of the way and I'm making money. I have no one to share it with.

The on top of that I'm Christian and I must be with someone of the same yoke you know what I mean?

This is just all confusing. I know some of yall are probably like "where is her mother?" My mom just wants me to go to medical school and not focus on marriage or relationships.

I just don’t want to jump into anything with any old person. I found this man who happens to be involved with the church and I like him allot, but ya'll know how some men can be. If you're overly aggressive that can be a real turn off

So I'm just left looking at him from afar, wondering where it could go.

That's all

 

[FtrDrO]

I'm about to be 24, and started feeling the same way about a year ago. I think its something that happens as you start getting older. I was also about my books and getting into medical school. (Except my mom is opposite; she doesn't understand why i'm in torture school and always reminds me to find time to find a bf lol). I'm starting to really want a potential husband too, but not just any old joe either.
Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone!

 

[watchmegrow]

It's good that you know what you want. I'm 24, a single parent and will be getting divorced, but I feel like I have a second chance at life now. Be sure that you don't rush it. You might have to settle for some things but make sure you have your non-negotiables.

 

[AnjelLuvs]

I think this is about the time that those urges start to kick in...

 

[Keen]

This is normal for a lot of people. You just accomplished one big milestone in life. Now that you are done, it is normal for you to line up the next big challenge. Think about it, You have always had one big milestone to get through. First it was kindergarten, then grade school then college. Now that those are out the way, it's normal for you to be looking for the next big thing that is going to accupy your energy.

 

[caribeandiva]

I understand believe me.

 

[Mena]

I have been feeling this way the last few weeks and I am 24. I have dated soo many guys but hardly took any of them seriously. Now, I am looking at guys assessing whether on not they would be good mates and not just someone to have fun with. I do want to start dating again. It would be nice. :/

 

[Filmatic]

I automatically do this even though I don't want to get married or have a relationship right now. I use to just go with the flow: no job? okay, no car, well I guess. Now if they don't have what I would want in a mate I don't bother.

 

[neenzmj]

It is perfectly natural to begin having a desire to have a life-long mate to share your life with. My best advice would be to take it slow and don't rush into anything. Be in prayer that God be the guiding factor and that HE send the person that HE has for you into your life instead of you seeking that person on your own.

 

[Bunny77]

I'm 24 and I feel like my whole outlook on life is changing. Like for some reason I feel like my body and heart is telling me to find a mate. A long-term mate. Like before all of this I would just look at men. But now I loooooook at men ya know? Like their family history and where they work at. It's kind of like I'm subconsciously screening men for marriage and not even realize that I'm doing. I'm actually scared because I never felt this way before.

I was always the academicism type. My GPA was really my main focus. Now that I got school out of the way and I'm making money. I have no one to share it with.

The on top of that I'm Christian and I must be with someone of the same yoke you know what I mean?

This is just all confusing. I know some of yall are probably like "where is her mother?" My mom just wants me to go to medical school and not focus on marriage or relationships.

I just don’t want to jump into anything with any old person. I found this man who happens to be involved with the church and I like him allot, but ya'll know how some men can be. If you're overly aggressive that can be a real turn off

So I'm just left looking at him from afar, wondering where it could go.

That's all

First of all, you are absolutely normal and there is nothing wrong with you thinking this way. In fact, I think it's good that you are.

Now, although I agree with you on not rushing anything, I have to disagree with your mother about not focusing on marriage or relationships. I have been finding that black women are really being given terrible advice in this area... women of other races go to med school and pursue careers all the time AND oftentimes get engaged and married in the process. You do not have to wait until you are done with school or 10000% financially stable to have a relationship that's headed to marriage. If this is your goal, now is the time to at least start thinking about it.

Going to med school should not be mutually exclusive with planning to build a marriage and family. Since you are a Christian, I recommend that you check out this website www.boundless.org, which has advice for Christian woman desiring marriage and family. This article really speaks to your situation, I think.

http://www.boundless.org/features/a0000819.html


Good luck!