I CAN'T STAND WHEN I SEE LITTLE GIRLS WITH FRIED, NASTY, DAMAGED HAIR!!!!!

[SexySin985]

I can't believe children get weaves!
I've seen girls with relaxers though. I also remember seeing a girl about 9 with highlights, was pretty disgusted by that.

Girl let me tell you. When I volunteered at an elementary school down the street from my house I seen a girl (I don't know what grade she was in but she looked like she could have been in the 3rd or 4th grade) this girl had reddish blond ends: eek: All I could do was stare.

And I remember when I was in elementary school there was this one girl who wore braids all the time..... and I do mean ALLLLLLLLL the time. We went to elementary, middle, and high school together. By senior year her hairline was M.I.A. and she had bald spots galore

 

[uncutandgettinglonger]

Girl let me tell you. When I volunteered at an elementary school down the street from my house I seen a girl (I don't know what grade she was in but she looked like she could have been in the 3rd or 4th grade) this girl had reddish blond ends: eek: All I could do was stare.

And I remember when I was in elementary school there was this one girl who wore braids all the time..... and I do mean ALLLLLLLLL the time. We went to elementary, middle, and high school together. By senior year her hairline was M.I.A. and she had bald spots galore

I don't know why that was so funny...

 

[Ambitious1013]

I am an elementary teacher and I see this everyday. I see little girls with weave, damaged hair and braids so tight that I get a headache looking at it!

 

[beyondcute]

MAN! Im really disgusted when I see stuf fliek that! There are kids runnign around not potty trained but with weave. Come on... No child in elementary school shoudl have to deal with chemicals and stuff. Shoo if I could Id be all over soem beads and foil right now! Im a literacy/mathematics tutor (elementary) and to hear the stuff girls say about each others hair. One girl (with no sides and a 1 in ponytail with hair sticking out all over) told another girl she needed to get "them napps relaxed ASAP!" I said nothing while the lil girl (natural shoulder length in braids) said "Why so my hair can disappear liek yours?"

The one with the relaxer swore up and down 'she never had ahir on the sides and she got it from her mama.' WTF?! Thats when I spoke up. I told her the truth: gel and relaxers and rubberbands broke her hair off. Then I told her she didnt need a 'perm,' and that it was okay to have napps and that I didnt have a perm (yes I lied but he all she was looking at was the edges and Ive been transitioining for 9 months now)

I think its real sad to see kids with chemicals. Is starts them off early thinking that thier hair isnt okay the way it is and that having little to no 'straight' hair is better than having a head full of napps/kink/curls.

 

[GodMadeMePretty]

MAN! Im really disgusted when I see stuf fliek that! There are kids runnign around not potty trained but with weave. Come on... No child in elementary school shoudl have to deal with chemicals and stuff. Shoo if I could Id be all over soem beads and foil right now! Im a literacy/mathematics tutor (elementary) and to hear the stuff girls say about each others hair. One girl (with no sides and a 1 in ponytail with hair sticking out all over) told another girl she needed to get "them napps relaxed ASAP!" I said nothing while the lil girl (natural shoulder length in braids) said "Why so my hair can disappear liek yours?"

The one with the relaxer swore up and down 'she never had ahir on the sides and she got it from her mama.' WTF?! Thats when I spoke up. I told her the truth: gel and relaxers and rubberbands broke her hair off. Then I told her she didnt need a 'perm,' and that it was okay to have napps and that I didnt have a perm (yes I lied but he all she was looking at was the edges and Ive been transitioining for 9 months now)

I think its real sad to see kids with chemicals. Is starts them off early thinking that thier hair isnt okay the way it is and that having little to no 'straight' hair is better than having a head full of napps/kink/curls.

Tell it!!!!!

 

[Sistaslick]

BC, I am tired of you and all these cute siggies you putting up everyday!





But you saiiiiiid that!

 

[Teacake]

This happened to my cousin. She used to have long, thick braids. When she was in second grade, her mom cut it off, gave her a relaxer, and a grown folk's hairstyle.

 

[cocoberry10]

It makes me sad too. My hair used to be like that too when I was little. My mom didn't know how to handle it I guess. I knew I didn't want my little girl to have to go through that- watching other little girls with thick plush pigtails while mine was barely holding together...with the back all rubbed out. In fact, I joined the boards after I realized that I was carrying a girl for that very reason. No child should have to endure that. My hair improved once I was a little older- but those elementary years were painful.

I totally agree. My mom didn't know about haircare either, and my hair looked a mess (poor me). My sisters had a different hair texture, so their hair could handle the weight of damage better than mine. And this was before relaxers (but relaxers made it worse)!

 

[Blaque*Angel]

hello ladies,
can someone suggest an hair care routine for little girls? what products are safe? my sister currrently uses shea butter in her daughters hair and it is so lovely, she is only 2 but when her hair stretches it is bra strap.(she has 4a hair)

my other neice who is (half turkish) is seven months, has bra strap hair and her mother doesn't know what to do with it as it is a different hair type to ours! Her hair is very curly at the front (i think 3b?) at the back it is extremely straight and looks "indian" she hates her hair being touched...
(All her turkish aunties use castor oil in there hair which is very curly and butt length!) my sister doesn't want to use castor oil in her babies hair though!

 

[Blackbird77]

This happened to my cousin. She used to have long, thick braids. When she was in second grade, her mom cut it off, gave her a relaxer, and a grown folk's hairstyle.

I don't know how long that girl's mother's hair was but it appears as though this mother was jealous that her daughter had more hair than she had.

 

[queen92]

Thank you for posting this topic. I used to teach elmentary school (3rd & 4th grades). It was rare for me to see little girls in my class with natural hair. I was talking about this with my friend. We didn't get our first relaxers until we were in our mid teens.

OT:Also children at this age are going to the salon to get acrylics. I couldn't even wear Lee Press Ons.

 

[Cooyah]

(All her turkish aunties use castor oil in there hair which is very curly and butt length!) my sister doesn't want to use castor oil in her babies hair though!

just wanted to let you know that there is no danger in using castor oil on a 7 month old or a two year old, castor is very safe and you don't really want to put chemicals or processed hair products on children. also water is great, plain old water.

 

[*ElleB]

OT:Also children at this age are going to the salon to get acrylics. I couldn't even wear Lee Press Ons.

Yes!! Trust it is for real, I'm just 18, so I can remember back to 5th grade when girls came to school with acrylic tips on!!!

THanks ladies, for all the responses! I knew yall would have a lot to say because I was thinking about this, and I KNEW y'all were. And firsthand, I was one of those girls...I remember I was 5 yrs old getting fingerwaves and whatnot (y'all remember those)...And always getting a relaxer....But the people who took care of my hair, (grams, aunt and then mom) didn't know that much about haircare. My mom was waaay better at it tho, better at doing it (she could braid her behind off) but not good at caring for it...To her 'greasing the scalp' is taking care of it. Anyhoo, now I'm older and responsible for the hair on my own head.

 

[Mizani_Mrs]

I'm not defending anybody because I hate to see the little girls with jacked up hair as well. but how will the parents know how to take care of it? I mean this website is not 'well known' except in the haircare community. I bet they've asked a stylist a million times for tips, but just didn't get a good answer from a stylist. As I've asked my stylist a gazillion times and I"ll get a short 'oh you need to moisturize more often'. Well what the heck does that mean??? can you elaborate? name good products? how often, etc etc. And then I've always assumed that these 'haircare' books were nothing but gimmicks. I didn't know any better and I bet that they don't either. I have 2 nieces, and one has long 3a type curly hair, and the other has 4b hair that is short, maybe neck length. Her mom takes very very good care of her hair and putting it in cute ponytails and pretty braids, but unfortunately her hair won't grow. so I'm still trying to find suggestions for her. she's already brought all the products i suggested. So I'm assuming that it's frustrating for those moms who are frying their daughters hair and then wondering why it's fried...they don't know they supposed to only relax the roots.... I surely didn't know... (but luckily i ain't got any kids... now i know...)

 

[Blaque*Angel]

just wanted to let you know that there is no danger in using castor oil on a 7 month old or a two year old, castor is very safe and you don't really want to put chemicals or processed hair products on children. also water is great, plain old water.

Hello, Thanks for the reply no way would my sisters put perms or unnatural products in their babies hair at the moment one is using shea butter...the other just a little bit of vaseline but i told her to use castor in it . thanks again and i will let her know it is very safe to use castor on baba.

 

[MizAvalon]

I'm not defending anybody because I hate to see the little girls with jacked up hair as well. but how will the parents know how to take care of it? I mean this website is not 'well known' except in the haircare community. I bet they've asked a stylist a million times for tips, but just didn't get a good answer from a stylist. As I've asked my stylist a gazillion times and I"ll get a short 'oh you need to moisturize more often'. Well what the heck does that mean??? can you elaborate? name good products? how often, etc etc. And then I've always assumed that these 'haircare' books were nothing but gimmicks. I didn't know any better and I bet that they don't either. I have 2 nieces, and one has long 3a type curly hair, and the other has 4b hair that is short, maybe neck length. Her mom takes very very good care of her hair and putting it in cute ponytails and pretty braids, but unfortunately her hair won't grow. so I'm still trying to find suggestions for her. she's already brought all the products i suggested. So I'm assuming that it's frustrating for those moms who are frying their daughters hair and then wondering why it's fried...they don't know they supposed to only relax the roots.... I surely didn't know... (but luckily i ain't got any kids... now i know...)

I agree. Most of these mothers just don't KNOW any better. Heck, how many of us were still believing old wives tales and jacking our hair up before we found this forum? Black women who know how to properly care for their hair are in the minority for sure.

 

[MysTori]

I didn't know any better and neither did my stylist help any.
So, probably like most of the members here, I diligently searched for a solution. Eventually, I ran up on this site and a couple of other jems (online and offline). If you don't get the answers you need from one source, keep searching until you do. I would hate to tell my daughters when they became adults that their hair was/is/always will be jacked up because I didn't know any better. In this day and age, there are too many free resources floating around for people to not know anything or at least be able to find out. The only excuse is if you were a parent in the 70's or earlier. You just might get a pass. Just my humble opinion. No offense to any1 though.

 

[Southernbella.]

Just cosigning with everyone here. I see it all the time. The most important thing, even before good hair care, is for the self hate to stop. Why do these little girls think they need relaxers? Because the moms teach them that the naps are ugly, and that they won't look pretty without their relaxers. If we can stop this kind of thinking, we can work on the haircare.

My sister texlaxes my neice's hair (she's 11), but my mom told my sister not to give extra praise when she gets her hair done. She stressed that my sister shouldn't say things like, "Ooh, your hair is so pretty!" or "You look beautiful!" afterwards. I think that shapes our attitudes as well. If you never get told you look pretty until after your hair is straightened, you will internalize it. That's what's happening to these babies, and it's the saddest thing.

 

[qtgirl]

I agree. My mother is like this, I mean everytime I go over there she wants to feel my roots to see if I "need a perm" and if my roots are straight then she's oohing and ahhing. One time I went over there I had just came back from the Dom. Salon and she puts her hands in my roots and was like oh you got a perm and I was like no I just went to the Dom. Salon. It's really sad & she doesn't listen to me about it. I won't tell you what shape her hair is in... Actually it's in better shape because she finally listened to me and got some Surge.

Just cosigning with everyone here. I see it all the time. The most important thing, even before good hair care, is for the self hate to stop. Why do these little girls think they need relaxers? Because the moms teach them that the naps are ugly, and that they won't look pretty without their relaxers. If we can stop this kind of thinking, we can work on the haircare.

My sister texlaxes my neice's hair (she's 11), but my mom told my sister not to give extra praise when she gets her hair done. She stressed that my sister shouldn't say things like, "Ooh, your hair is so pretty!" or "You look beautiful!" afterwards. I think that shapes our attitudes as well. If you never get told you look pretty until after your hair is straightened, you will internalize it. That's what's happening to these babies, and it's the saddest thing.

 

[Sistaslick]

Just cosigning with everyone here. I see it all the time. The most important thing, even before good hair care, is for the self hate to stop. Why do these little girls think they need relaxers? Because the moms teach them that the naps are ugly, and that they won't look pretty without their relaxers. If we can stop this kind of thinking, we can work on the haircare.

My sister texlaxes my neice's hair (she's 11), but my mom told my sister not to give extra praise when she gets her hair done. She stressed that my sister shouldn't say things like, "Ooh, your hair is so pretty!" or "You look beautiful!" afterwards. I think that shapes our attitudes as well. If you never get told you look pretty until after your hair is straightened, you will internalize it. That's what's happening to these babies, and it's the saddest thing.

ITA with this 100% and I clearly remember feeling exactly the way you described.

 

[beyondcute]

I understand the "I didnt know any better," temporary exxcuse but doggonit if YOUR hair is falling out WHY would you take those SAME chemicals and slap them in your daughters hair? There comes a time when you have to be educated. You cant contiune to use "I didnt know," as an excuse. Just as WE KNEW somethign wasnt right we went looking for a reason or an explanation or a way to fix it.

 

[Lucia]

hello ladies,
can someone suggest an hair care routine for little girls? what products are safe? my sister currrently uses shea butter in her daughters hair and it is so lovely, she is only 2 but when her hair stretches it is bra strap.(she has 4a hair)

my other neice who is (half turkish) is seven months, has bra strap hair and her mother doesn't know what to do with it as it is a different hair type to ours! Her hair is very curly at the front (i think 3b?) at the back it is extremely straight and looks "indian" she hates her hair being touched...
(All her turkish aunties use castor oil in there hair which is very curly and butt length!) my sister doesn't want to use castor oil in her babies hair though!

Maybe just organic moisterizing conditioner or baby conditioner not the shampoos. I don't think the castor oil could hurt as long as it's natural and not harsh. I don't know for sure though just suggestions, hopefully the ldies who do have kids can give you some better advice.

 

[XXXtacy]

Wow!!! The India Arie song, "I am not my hair" comes to mind when reading these post.


I am surprised at the knowledge that little girls are wearing weaves and acrylic nails in elementary school. And the parents think its ok. Our parenting skills, need a massive overhaul if you allow your baby to look like a grown woman.

I know I have really thick hair. As a child, my hair was long and thick. I had friends with the same long and thick hair. Everyone got a kiddie perm at 6 but me. By 7, I had the longest hair out of all of my friends.


I had one young lady bring over her 9 month old daughter. The baby's hair was matted and smelly. I gangstered that child gave her a bath and washed her hair. It was so much dirt coming out of her head. Tears just rolled down my cheeks. It still does. To look at her Mama, Maxed out to the nines, and her own flesh and blood, it would seem like two different families.


That's why I believe so strongly in finding natural and constructive ways to promote healthy, strong, hair in balck women. I love this board and recommend it so many of my friends. I havent had a one to join.

 

[kegbire27]

I just attended a birthday party for my girlfriend's daughter and her daughter's best friend that should be around 8 or 9 was completely bald on the sides and the nape area. It was an awful site. I felt so bad for the child.

 

[uncutandgettinglonger]

Wow!!! The India Arie song, "I am not my hair" comes to mind when reading these post.


I am surprised at the knowledge that little girls are wearing weaves and acrylic nails in elementary school. And the parents think its ok. Our parenting skills, need a massive overhaul if you allow your baby to look like a grown woman.

I know I have really thick hair. As a child, my hair was long and thick. I had friends with the same long and thick hair. Everyone got a kiddie perm at 6 but me. By 7, I had the longest hair out of all of my friends.


I had one young lady bring over her 9 month old daughter. The baby's hair was matted and smelly. I gangstered that child gave her a bath and washed her hair. It was so much dirt coming out of her head. Tears just rolled down my cheeks. It still does. To look at her Mama, Maxed out to the nines, and her own flesh and blood, it would seem like two different families.


That's why I believe so strongly in finding natural and constructive ways to promote healthy, strong, hair in balck women. I love this board and recommend it so many of my friends. I havent had a one to join.

This makes me sick.

When I was a kid, I had a jehri curl, but my hair was still thick, and it was fairly long, although I was a tomby and didn't let it grow out that much.

I didn't get a curl very often, so my hair was never chewed up. And when I didn start getting relaxers in middle school, my mom didn't let my hair get ate up like I see so many kids with.

 

[MysTori]

As far hair moisturizers for kids, I would go with pure jojoba oil. It's alittle more expensive than the other carrier oils (almond, apricot kernel, grapeseed, EVOO, etc.) but you can also buy one the other cheaper oils and shea butter and whip together to stretch the jojoba oil. Jojoba oil is almost identical to the oil the sebum secretes. It's also great for the skin.

If you want a safe conditioner, why not use things like coconut milk or powdered milk mixed with a little bit of carrier oil and honey. Just a thought.

 

[tthreat08]

i know just what you are talking about. I never understood this phenomena....just never did.

 

[JewelleNY]

Elementary school kids wearing WEAVE?!

And I thought *I* looked stupid back in the 80's with my black and white beads with aluminum foil on the ends!

girl, i loved my cornrows with the colored beads on the ends!!! me and my sis used to swing our beads all day long!

 

[Mom23]

This is a very interesting topic I have a 5 year old daughter and she has 3b/4a hair and I plan on keeping it natural. When she is old enough she can decide if she wants to relax her hair. Her hair is currently middle back when stretched, at her shoulders when it's not stretched. I just wash it once a week use that Olive Oil cream on it and keep it braided or two strand twists that I add barrettes to to make styles suitable for a 5 year old. My son laughs when he sees her walking around the house with her plastic cap getting her hair deep conditioned, and trust me it is alot of work to do her hair, but just like anything else I want her to have a great foundation to work with so I invest the time.

I don't have long hair,( it's at the base of my neck) but it is improving thanks to this board and books, and this knowledge is something I can pass on to my daughters.

I thought of something I heard Oprah say, when I knew better, I did better. And that's what we have to do for our daughters.

 

[rosie]

Elementary school kids wearing WEAVE?!

And I thought *I* looked stupid back in the 80's with my black and white beads with aluminum foil on the ends!

Oh snap!!!

I remember these.