I hate my hair :-( (vent)

[NappyNelle]

Your hair is extremely dry as you already mentioned, so it's time for hardcore deep conditioning, moisturizing and sealing treatments. Here's a mock moisturizing and low-manipulation regimen to get you started on your way:

Week 1:

• Pre-poo with castor oil. Detangle from root to tip in six sections. Braid each section upon completion.
• Shampoo hair and use moisturizing deep conditioner for at least 30 minutes
• Air dry in same 6 braids under silk cap
• Style with a wig that has low tension on your hair line
• Moisturize hair under silk cap 1x a day; concentrate on ends
• Massage hairline with sulfur mixture 1x a day

Week 2:

• Pre-poo with coconut oil.
• Co-wash hair and use protein based deep conditioner for at least 30 minutes
• Air dry in 6 fresh braids under silk cap
• Style with a wig that has low tension on your hair line
• Moisturize hair under silk cap 1x a day; concentrate on ends
• Massage hairline with sulfur mixture 1x a day

From your previous responses, there aren't many natural hair styles that will make you comfortable with you hairr at the moment, so wearing a wig while you nurse your edges back will help with growth, and help you to learn about your hair.

You haven't mentioned the products that you are using other than Qhemet's OHHB (great choice BTW), so I'm also going to suggest products for you.

• Shampoo: Any Giovanni shampoo
• Co-wash Conditioner: Giovanni Smooth as Silk Deeper Moisturizing
• Moisturizing Deep Conditioner: Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose
• Protein-based Deep Conditioner: Aubrey Organic's Glycogn Protein Balancing
• Daily Moisturizer: Home made mix of co-wash conditioner (2oz) + aloe vera Juice (2oz) + castor oil (1oz)+ water (3oz) in an 8oz spray bottle or Qhemet's OHHB
• Sulfur Mix: OIL: 1tsp sulfur + 4oz grapeseed oil + 4oz castor oil POMADE: 1tsp sufur + 3oz castor oil + 5 oz coconut oil

Challenges to be sure to join:
HOTS, Army of Super Long Naturals, Deep Conditioning, Sulfur 2011

Lastly, I would suggest purchasing a steamer to infuse your hair with super moisture.

I hope that helps growinghealthyhair. A version of this regimen helped my great-grandmother, so I'm sure it would help you too.

 

[RocStar]

tiffers
I felt like my hair was at the point of no return. I guess this all is just so frustrating because i've never ever in life had nice hair I want to be mad at my mom so bad for relaxing my hair but I know she didn't know any better. Just sucks I have to suffer over two decades later.

I don't know if you can totally blame your hair condition today on what your mom did or at relaxers. It is possible to have scalp damage from relaxers, so maybe you might want to think about going to a trichologist.

But the texture and condition of your hair now has very little (if anything) to do with past relaxers. Relaxers don't change the texture of your natural hair that grows out of your head and if you bc'd the relaxer would not really affect the condition of your new natural hair (well maybe the edges).

I guess ultimately what I am saying is, you have the hair that you have. Its condition has more to do with what you do to it today, rather than what you did to it yesterday. Look forward and not backwards. Placing or looking for blame won't change where you are at today, and you have a whole forum of women you want to help you get your hair to be the best it can.

 

[growinghealthyhair]

RocStar

Her giving me a relaxer has everything to do with my hair today. As I stated above I've never ever had nice healthy hair. Had she not relaxed my hair I'm sure my hair would be in muh better condition now. I would be better at caring for my natural hair. That relaxed started this slippery slope.

 

[Dominicanatural]

Sometimes I think we have to give our hair "tough love" and say I'm going to love you even when you act a fool, laugh in my face, and embarrase me. I am going to wash you, condition you, moisturize you, seal you and protective style you! I will not give up on you and one day you are going to thank me for it and be the blessing that God created you to be!

This was absolutely needed and my new way of thinking about my hair.

OP, I unfortunately am going through a lot of the same thoughts you are so I cannot offer advice at this moment in time, but I believe that you will make it through and live to tell the tale of your success. Good luck!

 

[MzSwift]

Have you been turned on to Sera yet? She has a Fotki (Sera252) and a YT (Sera2544?). She has served as an inspiration to me and my friends who are going natural. Her hair shrinks and curls into itself like ours does and she has grown it to HL multiple times in the last 6 years or so.

What I mean by stretching is keeping it braided up when you're not wearing it out in a style. It also means having it braided up before water hits it. Cause you know once the water hits it, it's gonna curl up into the fetal position. LoL

 

[growinghealthyhair]

Lol MzSwift

I can wash my hair while in braids and it won't turn demonic on me???? I think this would be better for me of so lol.


Thanks for all the responses ladies. Keep em coming. Can't wait until I get to a comp so I can respond properly!

 

[SuchaLady]

I have eczema on my right edges and it left them thin. I learned that instead of brushing them straight back I brush them more downward then when I get to my ear I kinda swerve the remainder of it back. I hope that makes sense.

 

[SuchaLady]

Girl you have plenty of hair on your head! It just need some moisture. Start with a good deep conditioner. You also look like you would benefit from baggying. Have you ever tried it?

@tiffers

I will start moisturizing with my rose water. Hopefully this will help. And i'm going to check that out on youtube.

This is what my hair looks like...

@tiffers

 

[growinghealthyhair]

SuchaLady

No never baggies before! Well tried. It felt like I was doing it wrong (these were my relaxed days)

 

[tiffers]

growinghealthyhair Baggying is so yummy. All you do is dampen your hair a little (since you have rosewater, you can use that) and then top with a moisturizer or oil/butter. Since you have Qhemet, I'd recommend that. But remember that with baggying, a little goes a long way. You only need small amounts of moisturizer when you baggy.

Put a disposable shower cap over your head, then top with your bonnet/scarf and go to bed. In the morning, your hair will be wonderfully moisturized.

 

[NaturalEnigma]

One of the things I learned about hair while on my hair journey is that it takes consistent conditioning, co-washing, moisturizing, sealing, and gentle handling to see results. I've been natural for a year and 2 months now and I noticed the condition of my hair is not the same as when I first did my BC. I feel like when you're determined to make your hair as healthy as possible, all the qualities that you want for your hair (softness, shine, strength, thickness, growth etc) will follow.

I think you need to establish a regimen and stick with it. It will take a couple of months for you to see progress, but it'll be well worth it. I did a twist out the other day, and my hair was so soft, and shiny. I was looking in the mirror like "Is this my hair"? The reason I'm getting such great results, is because from day one of my BC I've been giving my hair the best products, and the best care.

Seriously you can turn the condition of your hair around, its just going to take some time. I think in your particular situation it sounds like when you wear weaves you're also neglecting your natural hair. You won't see results if you're deep conditioning your hair once a month. It needs to be at least once a week. I recommend you wear your natural hair out and stop doing weaves. If you don't feel comfortable about your sides wear a wig, at least you can take it off to care for your hair. Protective styling is a must, don't sleep on your fro. Make sure you do twist outs or braids out to prevent your hair from tangling.

You said that none of the styles you've tried on your hair look nice. What I noticed about my hair is that the healthier my hair is, the better the styles look. I have a sister who did the BC the same time I did. She hardly conditions her hair, she detangles once a month and when she does twist outs they never turn out right, and I really think its because she doesn't take care of her hair. So the moral of the story is if you take care of your hair and be consistent, over time your hair will look and feel healthier.

Sorry this post is so long. I hope everything goes well with you and your hair. HHJ!

 

[growinghealthyhair]

THanks everyone. You've given amazing advice. I see that it's not my hair it's ME. Boy oh boy have I been living in lala land lol. I'm sure my hair hates ME for having all of these outrageous expectations for it lol.

tiffers

I have been baggying and omg!!! MY hair does feel so different. Even my "kitchen" which is always dry as the sahara no matter what is amazingly JUICY (can i use that to describe hair? Lol) nd it's super soft. Never ever felt my nape like that before!

 

[tiffers]

growinghealthyhair That's so great to hear!

Juicy hair is always a good thing. I'm so happy for you!

Have you started using anything on your edges yet?

 

[growinghealthyhair]

tiffers

No not yet. I think i may pick up a bottle of regular castor oil (does it have to be JBCO??) thats what i was always using before but kinda slacked off because one little bottle locally is expensive. ANd i hate having to buy my staples online(i like them right then lol). I also wanted to try the Ovation Cell Therapy too. Hoping that can help :-D You ever tried that?

 

[tiffers]

growinghealthyhair Girl, it doesn't have to be JBCO! You can go to Family Dollar and get you a cheap little bottle of regla old castor oil.

I haven't tried OCT, but my hubby did. He only used it because he liked how soft it made his hair. We never repurchased because it was too expensive to keep buying, just to get soft hair.

 

[growinghealthyhair]

tiffers

thanksss i'm glad it doesn't have to be JBCO. Those little bottles are expensive lol. Yea, OCT is expensive!! I tried MT before and had good results. So thats why i was interested in the OCT toO! Did your husband try the normal or the new advanced?