I am going to keep/start relaxing

[Amerie123]

Although I'm going natural, I really like the support in this thread. Who knows if two days from now I change my mind. It's just good to have that support no matter what choice you make with your hair. And it's about time some relaxed threads came out. I almost thought I was on a natural hair site for a minute. . Anyways, nice thread ladies.

 

[tomnikids3]

I plan to still relax but stretch it longer between touch-ups.

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

I'm relaxed, still using Vitale relaxer system every 16wks sometimes I'll go a little longer.

ETA: I also started relaxing in the half and half method, I love it and wish I would have started doing it awhile back.

 

[nymane]

WARNING: LONG THREAD! (Venting Involved, proceed at your own risk!)

Thanks so much for this thread! I need all the support I can get because my decision to succumb to the creamy crack has been met with such hostility from my regular support system (mother, 2 sisters, SO, and 2 of my BFF's )
They are all natural by the way. The girls and I started the journey together about 2-3 years ago and have been a great support for each other....until now!

They are disgusted with me. "How could you"? They ask, "You know your hair's going to fall out right"?, "You've come so far, why would you want to throw it all away"?

I told them I believe that with proper hair care, hair can thrive in any state, relaxed or natural! I told them I'll be bra strap length real soon and they laughed!!! erplexed

I wonder if they even heard my words of wisdom: In a given year I wear my natural hair out only about 30% of the time. The rest of the time the hair is in braids, weaves, under a wig etc. I do this because I have a lot of shrinkage. Case in point, the first 2 pics I attached is of my hair after a fully dried braid out! Even when its completely dry it still has shrinkage.
You don't want to see the shrinkage after a wash! Check out the third pic!
It takes me 3 hours to detangle, wash & condition and then braid it or twist it out. And then it takes about 2 days to air dry my hair. Don't use a blow dryer because my hair is so sensitive to heat, I never really press it out or blow it out...
I pretty much just do weaves, braids, wig it, and occasionally wear it out in all its, shrunken nappy glory!

I'm ready to texlax y'all, I like texture without shrinkage, less time spent on hair and more manageability.
Only problem is unlike most of you, I have never tried to self-relax. In my relaxer days I always went to the salon. I wouldn't even know where to begin. I've read your posts on self-texlaxing over and over again but I just don't think I can pull it off on my own. At the same time I don't know where to turn. Do hair stylists generally know what texlaxing is? And can they do it like y'all do?

Hey,

First of all, I want to say that I think your natural hair looks absolutely beautiful! But you should definitely do what is best for you & if you do decide to relax/texlax I'd definitely try to find a good salon...just because it's a virgin relaxer

You know how to take care of your hair so just prove them wrong! Good luck with your decision

 

[chrstndiva]

I am relaxed and have no plans to transition any time soon. I just started stretching (went from 5 wks to 10 weeks and now I am going for 12 weeks). My goal is to go 16 weeks, but I'll see how the 12 weeks goes.

I sometimes consider transitioning because I really like my thick, coarse wavy NG until I have to detangle it, then I am ready to relax again. But thanks to LHCF, my hair is so much healthier. A lot of it fell out/broke off last year due to bad salon visits, so I have finally learned to care for it myself.

Great thread!!!

 

[Aggie]

Although I'm going natural, I really like the support in this thread. Who knows if two days from now I change my mind. It's just good to have that support no matter what choice you make with your hair.And it's about time some relaxed threads came out. I almost thought I was on a natural hair site for a minute. . Anyways, nice thread ladies.

I agree with the bolded. For a while, I really did think this was a natural hair site and thought I joined the wrong site. Quite frankly it was very discouraging here to the point where I thought about leaving the site altogether and find another site that didn't bash someone just because they CHOSE to relax their hair. It was really that bad for me.

In the end, I had already signed up for 2 years and thought I might as well make the best of my $10, learn what I can while I'm here and if it was still really bad, I would simply not renew my membership.

Thank God for a few natural ladies who doesn't care one way or another how someone chooses to wear their hair, they are accepting and supportive and for that I am truly greatful. God bless each and every one of them.

 

[Monroe Lee]

Sorry about all that you're going through. If you are interested in going to a salon, you should research Salon Cabelo. It's located in Atlanta and Rachel, the owner has awesome YT videos. She is natural and she wears her hair straight alot. She has a beautiful head of hair. She may be able to help you get the hair you want without having to relax or texlax. Just a suggestion. Hope everything works out for you.

Thanks hun! I watched Rachels YT videos and they are absolutely phenomenal!
I sent her an email too, still waiting for a response!

 

[Monroe Lee]

Monroe, alot of self texlexers around here. Im sure they can help you out and if you have a black salon around (a reputible one), you can tell me what you'd like to do. It's pretty much relaxing for a way shorter time, I'd like to think there are places willing to help you out.

Good luck

and please ignore those giving your hostility, as long as you know the basics on keeping your hair healthy you'll be good. Let them see pics of the lovely healthy relaxed girls we have here!

Bachelorette, Thanks for the support. I am still on a quest to find a salon to do this for me. And I have already brushed the dirt of my shoulders now that I have a new support system:wink2:

 

[Monroe Lee]

Monroe Lee, Texlaxing is really not that complicated, and definitely not as complicated as we make it sometimes. It is simply relaxing your hair for half or up to 3/4 of the time recommended on the box for your hair texture. For example, my hair is fine and mild relaxers are recommended for fine hair.

I use Mizani Butter Blends mild (lye) relaxer and the recommended time for it to be left in fine hair is about 13-15 minutes including application time. I would leave it on my hair for no more than 8-10 minutes (including application time) then wash it out.

I add 2 Tbls of silk amino acid to it, mix it up, then apply it to my hair. I will not be adding oils to it anymore because I can never be sure that I'd get the same consistency everytime. I believe if you can have it timed properly, the same consistency can be achieved everytime.

MBB has everything you could possibly need to do a full complete relaxer and that is why I chose it. The mild one is known to relax very lightly and some people complained about their hair being under-processed after using it, which in essence is texlaxing.

I have over 9 months of new growth on my head right now and honestly, I cannot understand how ladies who have natural 4a/b/z BSL hair and longer manages their hair and the time and energy that natural hair requires. All I can say is KUDOS to them but I know that I am not prepared to go natural for life.

Good luck with your efforts but ask questions as you go along. Do some hard research before taking the plunge then proceed with caution. Your friends might end up a little jealous of you, so be prepared for more onslaughts from them but ignore them. Do what you feel in your heart you should do. Relaxing is not for everyone but then being natural is not either. Thank God for choices.

Hey Aggie,

Thanks so much for your response. I want to do self-texlax myself so bad, because I feel that would give me some level of consistency from touch-up to touch-up. My fears are...What is I'm not fast enough and like 12 or so minutes pass by and I'm still applying to one section. Or lets just say that I am super speedy and get it applied all over in the time I desire, and it was time to rinse. How would I rinse without letting any of the chemicals touch skin on my neck/face etc? I've never had to was any harsh chems out before so all I've ever had to do is wash/ co-wash right b4 I take a shower I might have to pm you so you hold my hand through this, that is in the event I can't find a stylist...

 

[Monroe Lee]

Hey,

First of all, I want to say that I think your natural hair looks absolutely beautiful! But you should definitely do what is best for you & if you do decide to relax/texlax I'd definitely try to find a good salon...just because it's a virgin relaxer

You know how to take care of your hair so just prove them wrong! Good luck with your decision

Nymane,

Thanks for the compliment on my natural hair! You are right, I am armed with all the info I need to grow and maintain healthy hair in whatever state it's in. Can't wait to prove them wrong for real!

 

[IDareT'sHair]

I am Unapologetically Relaxed I choose not to defend my Reason nor Decision to stay that way.

That's How "We" Grown Women Roll. We don't have to.

Even after a tremendous Salon induced Set-Back Dec. 2008, which prompted me to take control over the Length, Health & Wealth of my own Tresses instead of leaving it in the Hands of Others.

I have more knowledge and better Hair Practices now (thank you LHCF) and will utilize all this Knowledge to Full, Total and Complete Restoration of my Strands.

I also stretch Relaxers Now, Deep Condition Weekly and take Full Responsibility of My Own Head.

Relaxing Now...No More than 3 to 4 times a Year.

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

^Omg I agree!! But Braidouts/Twistouts/Bantu-Knotouts have helped to suppress my curiosity .

The shedding bugs me out sometimes but I have learned not to obsess over it. As long as I see no breakage or EXCESSIVE shedding I'm good. But I do envy the girls that don't shed!!

Everybody sheds. People like to say that they don't but they're either lying or in denial. Everyone sheds.

Hey Aggie,

Thanks so much for your response. I want to do self-texlax myself so bad, because I feel that would give me some level of consistency from touch-up to touch-up. My fears are...What is I'm not fast enough and like 12 or so minutes pass by and I'm still applying to one section. Or lets just say that I am super speedy and get it applied all over in the time I desire, and it was time to rinse. How would I rinse without letting any of the chemicals touch skin on my neck/face etc? I've never had to was any harsh chems out before so all I've ever had to do is wash/ co-wash right b4 I take a shower I might have to pm you so you hold my hand through this, that is in the event I can't find a stylist...

Sorry to butt in, but you could do it in halves. I know many self relaxers/texlaxers do it that way. So you would apply to one half, let it process, go rinse and neutralize it, apply your conditioner or what have you, and then repeat on the other half. It'll take longer to do it that way, but I think you can get more consistent results with less risk to your hair, because you'll be better able to take your time. That said, I think you should look at the salon review threads and find a good salon in your area to do it, just because it is a virgin relaxer. Just my opinion.

 

[PDub]

I agree with the bolded. For a while, I really did think this was a natural hair site and thought I joined the wrong site. Quite frankly it was very discouraging here to the point where I thought about leaving the site altogether and find another site that didn't bash someone just because they CHOSE to relax their hair. It was really that bad for me.

In the end, I had already signed up for 2 years and thought I might as well make the best of my $10, learn what I can while I'm here and if it was still really bad, I would simply not renew my membership.

Thank God for a few natural ladies who doesn't care one way or another how someone chooses to wear their hair, they are accepting and supportive and for that I am truly greatful. God bless each and every one of them.

^^^^ITA with the bolded!!
There are certain members on this forum that will literally rip you to pieces just because you prefer YOUR hair relaxed. I have nothing against natural hair, but it's just something I choose not to do. The utter rudeness made me reconsider my membership too. I had to take a break from the site for a while because I didn't want to read all that negativity. Thanks to the OP for this thread!! I am so glad to see members who relax, have healthy hair and most important, have a positive attitude toward any type of hair!! Thanks for all the support ladies!!

 

[Bachelorette]

I agree with the bolded. For a while, I really did think this was a natural hair site and thought I joined the wrong site. Quite frankly it was very discouraging here to the point where I thought about leaving the site altogether and find another site that didn't bash someone just because they CHOSE to relax their hair. It was really that bad for me.
.

This thread really is like a breath of fresh air.

 

[BrownBetty]

I am staying relaxed. I currently relax every 10 weeks but will be aiming for every 12 next year.

 

[IDareT'sHair]

Ya'll I ain't Explaining Nothing.erplexed

Therefore, I don't even enter "those threads"

Now How I "Look" Trying to Justify A Choice I made.

My Hair. My Money. My Choice. Simple as that.

 

[jamaraa]

Why were y'all so timid? I was wondering if you guys had just packed your bags and left the building!! I'm so happy to see you guys BACK and in fighting spirit. I need you all so I can get tips to help my relaxed family members!

It's good to see the relaxed ladies back, I say it again! Now our board can go back to being for EVERYODY!

 

[LongTimeComing]

Howdy ladies. Another relaxed head on board. Not texturized, texlaxed,almost-laxed... RELAXED.

Glad to know I am not the only one left on the board.

Using Mizani right now every 6-7 weeks. I can't stretch very long. I can go 10 weeks, but I have so much breakage that it's nuts.

 

[Aggie]

Hey Aggie,

Thanks so much for your response. I want to do self-texlax myself so bad, because I feel that would give me some level of consistency from touch-up to touch-up. My fears are...What is I'm not fast enough and like 12 or so minutes pass by and I'm still applying to one section. Or lets just say that I am super speedy and get it applied all over in the time I desire, and it was time to rinse. How would I rinse without letting any of the chemicals touch skin on my neck/face etc? I've never had to was any harsh chems out before so all I've ever had to do is wash/ co-wash right b4 I take a shower I might have to pm you so you hold my hand through this, that is in the event I can't find a stylist...

No problem honey. I don't mind holding your hand through this. Many ladies practice using conditioner first to test their speed and I would definitely recommend that first approach to self-texlaxing.

If you are on one side too long, then you can actually stop, wash it out then tackle the next side. Some people do it that way too. I don't suggest doing one front and one back if you choose this method but rather in a pippy long stockings kinda way with a big plait on each side of your head.

I always wash out my relaxer leaning over and sitting on the side of the tub with head bent under faucet (very uncomfortable but very effective too ). You can kneel inside the tub as well if you like - this way is probably more comfortable.

I'll be honest though, if you are having a virgin relaxer, it would be best to go to a stylist and let her know what your exact wishes are. Make sure that she is capable of quickly applying the relaxer and getting it out in record time - no more than 10 minutes total if you want a texlaxed effect. She may be able to do the pippy long stockings method better on virgin hair better than you will as well.

Whatever you do, DO NOT let anyone comb the relaxer through your hair. The relaxer should be smoothed with the back of the comb or with fingers only, and NO pulling either. Hair is weak when wet and once it stretches beyond it's natural capabilities, it will not bounce back and this causes thinning hair strands.

 

[Aggie]

^^^^ITA with the bolded!!
There are certain members on this forum that will literally rip you to pieces just because you prefer YOUR hair relaxed. I have nothing against natural hair, but it's just something I choose not to do. The utter rudeness made me reconsider my membership too. I had to take a break from the site for a while because I didn't want to read all that negativity. Thanks to the OP for this thread!! I am so glad to see members who relax, have healthy hair and most important, have a positive attitude toward any type of hair!! Thanks for all the support ladies!!

Wow PDub, I love your entire post. Thanks for sharing it. I agree, this thread is a real blessing.

 

[Bachelorette]

Howdy ladies. Another relaxed head on board. Not texturized, texlaxed,almost-laxed... RELAXED.

Glad to know I am not the only one left on the board.

Using Mizani right now every 6-7 weeks. I can't stretch very long. I can go 10 weeks, but I have so much breakage that it's nuts.

Have you tried increasing protein

 

[Aggie]

I am Unapologetically Relaxed I choose not to defend my Reason nor Decision to stay that way.

That's How "We" Grown Women Roll. We don't have to.

Even after a tremendous Salon induced Set-Back Dec. 2008, which prompted me to take control over the Length, Health & Wealth of my own Tresses instead of leaving it in the Hands of Others.

I have more knowledge and better Hair Practices now (thank you LHCF) and will utilize all this Knowledge to Full, Total and Complete Restoration of my Strands.

I also stretch Relaxers Now, Deep Condition Weekly and take Full Responsibility of My Own Head.

Relaxing Now...No More than 3 to 4 times a Year.

When I'm done my extra long stretch this time, I will relaxing every 3-4 months myself. I am toying with the idea of stretching a month longer during the winter/spring months though

 

[Tafa01]

My Mizani Butter Blends came today!!! My eagerness may have startled the FedEx guy! My SIL and I have a date tonight to relax me!

#poursoutalittleCHISilkInfusionforthecurlyfro

So how did it go? I hope you are happy with the results

 

[LongTimeComing]

Have you tried increasing protein

Yes. I have some aphogee and used it a couple of times when I was seeing some breakage. It did nothing for me that I could see.

So I put on some emergencee this weekend... Before I had just a few strands, what I have now is horrible breakage. So I think I overloaded my hair. I've been moisturizing and dc-ing my hair to no end for the past week. It's getting better though.

Got any ideas?

 

[aquajoyice]

I'm going to continue texlaxing, I just completed a 6 month stretch and can't tell you how good it felt to feel my scalp again. My hair definitely feels healthier after the stretch so from here on out I'll be texlaxing every 16 weeks. I'm washing twice a week and co-washing once a week. I'm doing protien treatment once a week and DC once a week. I just ordered some Argan (morrocan) oil from Eden Allure and the Fig Wen cleansing conditioner so i'm excited to possibly stop using shampoo all together. I'm all about oils in my hair for the winter. I use Coconut, Jojoba % Avocado oils religiously and haven't had a need for a lot of shea butter. But that could change in the future. I'm trying to get away from bunning so much so i'm trying out different no heat styles, like braid outs and different up do's. I'm looking forward to seeing the results of my new regimen and look forward to thicker healtheir hair overall

 

[Tafa01]

I am going to continue to relax every 10-12 mos. I would love to relax only 4x a year, if I can. I am having a hard time figuring out how to maintain my hair, as it grows. I am not a person who can wrap my hair(cross or reg) nightly. So I am working on a good nighttime regimen. Also I am protective styling more. I'm at least wearing my hair up 2-3 days a week. I wash 1x a week in the winter, flat iron, or set, wear it down for the weekend and usually through Wednesday. After that its back to a ponytail, bun, or updo. I have been natural, and it was a little too time consuming with my schedule. I have currently been using Affirm relaxer applied at the salon.

Me neither!! what works for me now is satin cover rollers. I put a few on my hair before bed. It takes only a few mn, and they don't bother me at all when I sleep. In the morning I have volume and bounce.

 

[Tafa01]

I had dredlocks from the age of 7-14...

I wore my natural hair in braids for a year...

And I got my first relaxer at age 15...

I have seen both ends of the spectrum so I have a complete view of the difference between relaxed and natural hair, and I must say...I will stay relaxed for as long as possible.

I like the manageability and the fact that I no longer have to spend so much time detangling my thick, dense, 4b hair. I love a beautifully styled head of natural hair, but right now being natural is not an option for me.

Your hair is Gorgeous!!!

 

[Tafa01]

I'm going to keep relaxing every 12-16 weeks, right now with so much growth, my new growth is unbelieveable, my last relaxer didn't take at all, so I will stretch this relaxer out for at least months or try to stretch four months and switch back to lye (Mizani BB probably). When my hair reaches a certain length, i'm going to do nothing but braidouts and ease up on the heat........

I have never done lye, but I keep reading it is the best for the hair. I want to switch at my next relaxer in April. I might go with Linange.

 

[prospurr4]

I've checked in already, but I wanted to come back and say that this is one of the nicest threads I've read on this site in a while...no ugly comments...just love and support. Reminds me of why I joined this board in the first place.

 

[Tafa01]

Thanks OP for starting this thread.

I'm transitioning (well, natural with 2 inches of straight ends left) and I believe this thread is sorely needed.

I look to you guys to give me advice to give to my friends and family who desperately need it.

There are some beautiful relaxed heads on this board, and you guys need to represent!!

I would be in hog heaven if i were relaxed and had all of you for inspiration. Heck, I still look to my 'laxed sistas for tips.

So keep up the great work and I'm just here to show you guys some love.

{{GREAT BIG HUG}}}

Thanks so much