How much should he pay for the ring??

[cheetarah1980]

I didn't pick because it all depends on his salary. Two months salary was chosen because it represents a reasonable amount to save over several months (cause he should be preparing for engagement prior to asking). Regardless, the ring should NOT put the man in debt. If it's a gift for me, I don't want to be paying for it down the line.
If I'm going off of my salary, 2 months worth would afford a pretty expensive ring. I don't know if I'd want a man spending that much on just the ring, especially with the cost of weddings nowadays.

 

[Syrah]

deleted post.

 

[Butterfly08]

Like, if dude can and has spent $1000 on something really important to him, then don't spend $500 for my ring. That's being cheap. I'd hope you'd be willing to spend the same $1000 on my ring since you are capable of coming up with that type of money for yourself.

But you don't have to go to $5000 either if you're a regular middle-class dude working 9-to-5. But if investment banker guy can drop $5000 easily on a big golf trip for himself, then he better drop that on my ring as well.

Right! I hear the "buy what he can afford" but if the reason he can't afford the ring you want is because he's spending $3000 on himself each month then there's a problem. That selfishness may carry right on over into the marraige. Men are supposed to be the coverers and providers, and if they spend so much on themselves that all that is left for you is the scraps, BUMP THAT.

That being said, if selfishness is not an issue, at this point I'm not sure I care. I am already married and my ring is nice but I'm not hung up on it. I'd say no less than $1000 (based upon salary and other debt commitments) but above all it should be from the heart and not a little afterthought.

 

[Integrity]

to be honest I think on an average salary spending more than $1000 on a ring is silly.
My engagement is coming up soon and this will also be the traditional african wedding. My family have a long list of demands per custom (set him back at least £2000 in total) so I am not so bothered about an expensive ring, my limit is £400!

 

[BGT]

I'd actually be willing to share the cost of the ring if it meant me getting the ring that I really want. It doesn't have anything to do with size. I just like emerald cut and that can be a bit more pricey that regular princess or round.

Whatever two months salary is.... that's a rule of thumb

I heard that it was 3 or 4 months.

 

[aribell]

Personally, I don't know that I would be comfortable wearing a ring that cost much more than $3000. That's enough to have a very nice looking ring that has real value, and if he has the means for more, that money can be put into an extra special honeymoon, the house, school loans, etc.

Plus, idk, wearing a ring that cost upwards of $10K-$20K seems like a liability...But that's JMO.

 

[longhairlover]

I think my engagement ring was 3k or 5k but we got it on sale. it's certified, good cut, color and clarity which is what you want of course.

My band was $500. we will probably upgrade my rings later on, moreso I want a wider wedding band.

they say your engagement ring should be worth a months salary or more....something like that.

the real nice one's will be 5k and more. I didn't care at first about the ring but then the white chicks i worked with in finance had these crazy big engagement ring center diamonds so we changed my rings it was too much pressure especially with my first ring when people would look at it and be like oh "it's cute", i know it doesn't matter what others think but the jobs that I had and the rich folks I was working around it was pressure.

the pawn shops have some really nice engagement rings, don't ask me how i know lol!!!!! I had already had my rings but was just curious.

we are nice women on here, because the white girls I was working around in finance were like their ring has to be over 5k and at least 1 carat.

I don't think 10k is a lot though, because if you pick the ring right you could have a flawless, colorless superbly cub platinum ring with over 1 carat center stone.

I think with my next set of rings i'm gonna contact my cous, she's Jewish and in the jewelry business wish i would got back in contact with her b4 our engagement.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I didn't pick because it all depends on his salary. Two months salary was chosen because it represents a reasonable amount to save over several months (cause he should be preparing for engagement prior to asking). Regardless, the ring should NOT put the man in debt.

I think the bolded is what's getting lost in the translation. My assumption is that the ring is paid for with 2 months worth of salary that has been saved in advance/put aside to purchase a ring. Not so much that dude is putting 2 months salary on a credit card.

 

[Mariaat40]

As another poster said, the idea of spending two months salary on an engagement ring came from a marketing campaign by the DeBeer jewelry company:

De Beers engagement rings and diamonds are synonymous with one of the most successful marketing campaigns ever: The De Beers marketing slogan "a diamond is forever." De Beers was brilliant. They convinced millions of couples through clever advertising that eternal love and diamonds go hand-in-hand. Back in the mid 20th century, the new medium of the motion picture combined with newly minted movie idols were masterfully utilized to convey the diamond engagement ring as the ultimate expression of love integral to a romantic courtship. They unofficially got the word out on the street that guys should spend 2-3 months salary on the bling. They even enlisted the Royal British Family to promote their diamonds. They convinced families to hold onto diamond rings as heirlooms, thus restricting the resale market for diamonds.

 

[yokoyokogirl]

Just curious since we're on the topic of rings...Is the woman supposed to buy the man's wedding band?

 

[Transformer]

As another poster said, the idea of spending two months salary on an engagement ring came from a marketing campaign by the DeBeer jewelry company:

De Beers engagement rings and diamonds are synonymous with one of the most successful marketing campaigns ever: The De Beers marketing slogan "a diamond is forever." De Beers was brilliant. They convinced millions of couples through clever advertising that eternal love and diamonds go hand-in-hand. Back in the mid 20th century, the new medium of the motion picture combined with newly minted movie idols were masterfully utilized to convey the diamond engagement ring as the ultimate expression of love integral to a romantic courtship. They unofficially got the word out on the street that guys should spend 2-3 months salary on the bling. They even enlisted the Royal British Family to promote their diamonds. They convinced families to hold onto diamond rings as heirlooms, thus restricting the resale market for diamonds.

I can't believe so many people have felled for this! DeBeers marketing is also great....how about the past, present and future diamond ring!

We had no rings at the time of our Justice of the Peace ceremony, but we purchased our first house 6 months after our marriage at age 19. A few years later we purchased bands because he wanted one--simple, no diamonds. For our 16th anniversary, he located a diamond broker who found an investment grade (E coloring and very high in clarity also) 1.75 radiant cut diamond and had it set for me. I was amused for about two weeks, then it found a new home--the safe! It still sits in the safe---the ring has has never paid the mortgage, bought groceries, or paid a college tuition bill---it's practically worthless, but it did require me to add a rider onto my home insurance!

I guess I could flash it for vanity but then I think of movies like "Blood Diamond" and the DeBeers family that are actually profitting from diamond sales. The ring says NOTHING about my 32 year marriage or committment.

I would suggest purchasing a ring that doesn't conflict with other obligations...such as paying off credit cards, student loans, paying the mortgage/rent...or for heavens sake...paying the caterer or florist for the wedding (my nephew had to take up a collection to pay the florist the day of the wedding!). I also wouldn't want anything that I would have to pay for myself.

But I guess we all have our priorities!

 

[Chameleonchick]

Just curious since we're on the topic of rings...Is the woman supposed to buy the man's wedding band?

I don't know about other women, but I did.


Also it really shouldn't matter how much your ring cost if you are going to marry the man. If you only care about the ring cost you really shouldn't be getting married because that means your relationship is going to revolve around money and that is not love.

 

[Transformer]

I purchased the simple band for my husband and also the replacement bands! If he had ever wanted a fancy ring with diamonds, I probably would have balked....I'm not into men that wear diamond jewelry.

 

[gmw]

Interesting thread. I had a former friend, yes former, tell me at the time DH & I were ring shopping that she would not accept a ring less than 2 carats. Her reasoning was that she has big hands. Hah! She was at our wedding a few years ago.....and she is still single right now.

The price of the ring will depend on so many things, cut, color, clarity & of course carat weight. From what my friend's husband told us (he's a jeweler) most men buy 1 carat center stones and spend about $7,000 total on the engagement ring. This was a couple of years ago though and we have not asked him about diamonds since then.

However, one can find a 1 carat center stone for $30,000 http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/4955/

And one can find a 1 carat center stone for $6,100 http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/4914/

and .98 carats for $2,400
http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/5376/

The marketing for DeBeers has everyone on that 2 months salary idea but it really does depend on so much more. If you are starting a life with a man, do you really want him spending $30,000 on your ring....even if he can afford it?

I have seen a diamond .75/.85 carats, D clarity VS1 $3000.00 for the diamond, the ring, and wedding band to go with it. The ring was FREAKING BEAUTIFUL. With that type of clarity it was find and for the guy I seeing at the time, it was in his price range.

We didn't not get married, but it is possible to get nice rings for any price.

That same store had a 2carat ring for about $20,000.00. Beautiful ring also....

 

[honeycomb719]

Just curious since we're on the topic of rings...Is the woman supposed to buy the man's wedding band?

From my understanding, yes..

 

[honeycomb719]

I can't believe so many people have felled for this! DeBeers marketing is also great....how about the past, present and future diamond ring!

We had no rings at the time of our Justice of the Peace ceremony, but we purchased our first house 6 months after our marriage at age 19. A few years later we purchased bands because he wanted one--simple, no diamonds. For our 16th anniversary, he located a diamond broker who found an investment grade (E coloring and very high in clarity also) 1.75 radiant cut diamond and had it set for me. I was amused for about two weeks, then it found a new home--the safe! It still sits in the safe---the ring has has never paid the mortgage, bought groceries, or paid a college tuition bill---it's practically worthless, but it did require me to add a rider onto my home insurance!

I guess I could flash it for vanity but then I think of movies like "Blood Diamond" and the DeBeers family that are actually profitting from diamond sales. The ring says NOTHING about my 32 year marriage or committment.

I would suggest purchasing a ring that doesn't conflict with other obligations...such as paying off credit cards, student loans, paying the mortgage/rent...or for heavens sake...paying the caterer or florist for the wedding (my nephew had to take up a collection to pay the florist the day of the wedding!). I also wouldn't want anything that I would have to pay for myself.

But I guess we all have our priorities!

This post states my thoughts on the whole deal. We just found my wedding band this weekend and I love it, and was VERY reasonable. My engagement ring and wedding band together is a little over 1 carat.

 

[jaiku]

I think it depends on the situation. I think it should cost around 10% of your yearly salary. If I'm going to wear it for the rest of my life it better be nice and reflect my style.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

As another poster said, the idea of spending two months salary on an engagement ring came from a marketing campaign by the DeBeer jewelry company:

I can't believe so many people have felled for this! DeBeers marketing is also great....how about the past, present and future diamond ring!

Can either of you explain other than it being a Debeers slogan why 2 months salary does not make sense?

 

[korean]

I think that it should be atleast six months of paychecks thats what my grandma always says

 

[Transformer]

Can either of you explain other than it being a Debeers slogan why 2 months salary does not make sense?

Why 2 months...why not 4 or 6. There is no common sense basis for this and should the calculation be before or after taxes? How many young people have the disposable income to blow two months of salary on a gift. It's not indicative of comittment and could be just plain dumb financially which will lead to marital problems. If you want a ring that's $8000.00 but he only makes $25,000 a year...applying the formula means you only get a $4000.00 ring which isn't good enough to wear on your fingers for the rest of your life, so what do you do? And someone making only $25,000 should really consider whether they can afford to ENTER a jewelry store unless plans include staying with parents.

If he's a new grad and making $50,000 a year before taxes, the guy should fork over $8000.00 a year for a ring because a mining company thinks it's a good idea? Let's think about it...in a given year he should have 6 months salary in an emergency fund $24,000, pay 30% of income for housing, $15,000...there's $39,000 already and he's hasn't paid Uncle Sam, food, or a car loan. What's he suppose to do to make up for the lost income, afterall he's just getting around to establishing a safety fund, paying back student loans, and a lot of other obligations. And for those that say, if he can't pay 2 months salary for a ring then we aren't ready to marry, I agree.....you aren't the right person. By the time, the average guy can afford to not live at home with his parents AND afford to give up two months of his salary...he's probably around 35! Seriously, the amount of money spent on the eternity circulet reveals nothing. If your guy can afford that...God Bless him...if he can't, it shouldn't stop the marriage if you two are truly two of the same spirit.

I refuse to let a marketing firm tell me I should express my love one day a year with RED ROSES (hate them) and chocolate, and I'm certainly not going to expect someone to provide me 2/12th of their salary for some highly polished stone. It would probably be a better idea to have shares of the diamond company rather than the stone to flash to your friends.

Purchased something that is affordable and he doesn't have to put on a charge card in order to put on your hand. When my spouse did purchase that diamond...it was something he wanted to do to commemorate 16 years of sticking it out and going to Wendy's only when we had coupons. By that time he had retired our tin cup, socked a way funds for obligations to our kids, and he felt "why not? women like diamonds-- Debeers has an advertisement once a day telling me they do," and he was lazy-the broker shopped for the stone not him! Wrong, I would rather have had the stock or a vacation house in St. Lucia!

This year I'm going to head off the DeBeers commercials, I'm placing island real estate magazines around the house!

 

[Syrah]

I think the bolded is what's getting lost in the translation. My assumption is that the ring is paid for with 2 months worth of salary that has been saved in advance/put aside to purchase a ring. Not so much that dude is putting 2 months salary on a credit card.

I'm glad someone said this. The "savings" isn't so much about the dollar amount but more that some serious forethought went into this. And that it was something that he considered for at least of couple of months. I don't want you waking up one morning thinking "ok, lets do this" and running up a $5,000 credit card bill on a whim.

 

[anon123]

am i the only one who'd be happy with a non-diamond ring? diamonds aren't my favorite stone.

 

[GoingNatural]

an arm.






and a leg.


just playing kind of
depends on the money situation. If he's balling out of control when it comes to his wants and needs--due id wearing Louis sneakers and has a Gucci man bag then umm yeah the cost of the ring matters

 

[Bunny77]

am i the only one who'd be happy with a non-diamond ring? diamonds aren't my favorite stone.

Nothing wrong with that!

One of my good friends wanted a turquoise ring and that's what her fiancee/now husband got her.

It's all about what you want!

(I want a diamond though, lol)

 

[MD_Lady]

My ring was originally $4,300, but it went on sale and DH got it for $2,700. A ring should not cost more than the man can comfortably afford to pay.

 

[Transformer]

Better yet, I want to know how DeBeers reached their famous decision that it should be two months salary. Let see, if DH makes $1.2m then the ring should cost $200,000. I think I can get a small yacht for that amount!

My point is that DeBeers threw a commercial out there and some folks bought into it like it was the ten commandments without question or thinking about other obligations or priorities. There just isn't a set rule on this.

In today's economic climate-layoffs, who can really dish out $20,000 for a ring even if your annual salary is $120,000 yearly.

 

[Trinity1]

My baby said he wouldnt spend less than 20k on my ring, which would be equal to 2 months of his income. So I guess he believes in the 2 month income rule. Me on the other hand, told him that I really dont need for him to spend that kind of money on an engagement ring. I just think money like that could be put to better use.


Trinity1

 

[MrJohnsonsRib]

I have a band with lil diamonds in it. It was like $300 and I beleive it was on sale. I will get the DIAMOND to match one day.....I think your hubby should pay within his financial means. I think that it should feel more like a sacrifice for instance- he can't buy new shoes, computer, jewelry, luxury things for a while...a man should kinda "feel" the price of the ring in the pocket without going bankrupt or even going past due on any bills or loans-we want to know that our man is financially "smart" and doesn't pride himself on how much he can impress you, but by how much he can sacrifice as an action of love and trust in you. My $300 ring made me frown for a second but then I took all of that into consideration as I walked out the mall with my ring and now I hardly think of a bigger ring....but I won't get mad if he bring me one.lol! My husband didn't make very much and he has some debt to take care of so he was being smart. I hope that everything is a blessing for you both.

 

[Transformer]

My baby said he wouldnt spend less than 20k on my ring, which would be equal to 2 months of his income. So I guess he believes in the 2 month income rule. Me on the other hand, told him that I really dont need for him to spend that kind of money on an engagement ring. I just think money like that could be put to better use.


Trinity1

Some folks got it like that. Congratulations if that's how he decides to spend his disposable income. The wedding has to cost at $100,000. I read somewhere that you should budget at least 5 times the cost of the ring.

 

[Allandra]

Just curious since we're on the topic of rings...Is the woman supposed to buy the man's wedding band?

I purchased my DH's wedding band.