How he feels about my hair ...

[JerriBlank]

Why do people post stuff like this,knowing they don't TRULY want to hear what we have to say?erplexed

So op's bf has the right to an opinion, and to have it posted here,but some naturals on lhcf have an issue with it then we are called all kinds crazy?

So his "truth" is all cool,but ours needs to be censored? I wish I would...

 

[MsLizziA]

ladybeesrch oh i never said that u guys shouldnt have an opinion. the only problem i have is the name calling, other than that, i enjoyed this thread

 

[10WordzOrLess]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXTR3ScefnQ some random

i actually love the accent(s)

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAATECHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!

 

[reeko43]

AND the okey-doke negr...umm i mean black women who accept it, go along with it, and think it's funny and "just a preference".

And don't leave out the okey-doke negr...umm i mean those women sitting behind their computer screens doing a bunch a jaw-jacking about the perceived problem yet contributing nothing to the solution.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Why do people post stuff like this,knowing they don't TRULY want to hear what we have to say?erplexed

So op's bf has the right to an opinion, and to have it posted here,but some naturals on lhcf have an issue with it then we are called all kinds crazy?

So his "truth" is all cool,but ours needs to be censored? I wish I would...

No need for censorship, but there needs to be a little more respect for other people's opinions. We can disagree and be respectful about it. Everyone is an individual with different backgrounds and upbringing. His truth is his truth. He was being honest with her. The reason for people being called all kinds of crazy is because folks are acting like this man is the only man who thinks this. Hell, I know black women who think the same thing. There is no need to get salty about it.

 

[EllePixie]

jennboo its how they were developed, you can't knock them for it.. just sayn..

I think its very funny cuz our grandmothers and mothers conditioned this generation of men and while we maybe tryna change the view on it, it takes time for their views to be changed as well

Of course you can knock people for it, especially when the issue has been shown to them. Do they choose to ignore it, and get defensive, or truly think about what they have said? It's one thing for someone to not "get" it, but when people let them know why what they've said can be perceived in a negative manner, don't act as if people are pulling it out of their a$$ and being militant Angela Davis wannabes...

 

[reeko43]

@ladybeesrch oh i never said that u guys shouldnt have an opinion. the only problem i have is the name calling, other than that, i enjoyed this thread

Why are you wasting your time? You have explained enough and have certainly been civil enough. The only mistake you made was requesting that people not judge your man. I personally would have given less than a ____! There is a difference between those who expressed their dislike and their reasons for it and those who were intent on being outright hurtful and even trying to tell you how you should be handling your life. Those you need to give a ride on the point of your shoe

 

[MsLizziA]

Of course you can knock people for it, especially when the issue has been shown to them. Do they choose to ignore it, and get defensive, or truly think about what they have said? It's one thing for someone to not "get" it, but when people let them know why what they've said can be perceived in a negative manner, don't act as if people are pulling it out of their a$$ and being militant Angela Davis wannabes...

Not IMO. AA men have been conditioned to believe in a particular standard of beauty so if they dont jump on the new natural hair movement right away.. you can't blame them.. it takes time

 

[reeko43]

Of course you can knock people for it, especially when the issue has been shown to them. Do they choose to ignore it, and get defensive, or truly think about what they have said? It's one thing for someone to not "get" it, but when people let them know why what they've said can be perceived in a negative manner, don't act as if people are pulling it out of their a$$ and being militant Angela Davis wannabes...

So her man gets to be knocked but these chicks acting straight disrespectful get a pass? Aren't they choosing to ignore issues being shown to them as well? People let them know over and over that what they've said can be perceived in a negative manner but because they are sporting a natural whatever comes out of their mouth or out the side of their neck is ok? I say treat others as you want to be treated.

 

[EllePixie]

reeko43 No. I never said it was okay to disrespect him. I know men have been conditioned, which is why I didn't knock his first post. His defensiveness is what speaks volumes to me.

Sent from my PC36100 using Long Hair Care Forum App

 

[EllePixie]

@ms_lizzia there is a difference between "getting on board" and understanding where others are coming from.

Sent from my PC36100 using Long Hair Care Forum App

 

[chebaby]

@ms_lizzia there is a difference between "getting on board" and understanding where others are coming from.

Sent from my PC36100 using Long Hair Care Forum App

exactly. he doesnt have to like it to "get" it.

 

[reeko43]

@reeko43 No. I never said it was okay to disrespect him. I know men have been conditioned, which is why I didn't knock his first post. His defensiveness is what speaks volumes to me.

Sent from my PC36100 using Long Hair Care Forum App

I didn't take your post to mean that. However, I don't think people should hold him or anyone else to a standard they themselves to not adhere to. I also don't think there should be a standard for some and a different one for others. I don't see the justification for knocking this man's views yet being silent when others spew something equallly negative or worse.

 

[qchelle]

Why are you wasting your time? You have explained enough and have certainly been civil enough. The only mistake you made was requesting that people not judge your man. I personally would have given less than a ____! There is a difference between those who expressed their dislike and their reasons for it and those who were intent on being outright hurtful and even trying to tell you how you should be handling your life. Those you need to give a ride on the point of your shoe

But who is telling her how to live her life? I swear, I must be missing posts like a mug
I thought most of the posts about people disagreeing with his POV went something like "well if you like it, good for you....but it couldn't be me".
Did people suggest she break up with him or something?

 

[MsLizziA]

But who is telling her how to live her life? I swear, I must be missing posts like a mug
I thought most of the posts about people disagreeing with his POV went something like "well if you like it, good for you....but it couldn't be me".
Did people suggest she break up with him or something?

qchelle girl look, 1 of my blog commenters went so far as to tell me i owe her an explaination for publizin his views

 

[antisocial]

But who is telling her how to live her life? I swear, I must be missing posts like a mug
I thought most of the posts about people disagreeing with his POV went something like "well if you like it, good for you....but it couldn't be me".
Did people suggest she break up with him or something?

Okay good. It's not just me

 

[reeko43]

But who is telling her how to live her life? I swear, I must be missing posts like a mug
I thought most of the posts about people disagreeing with his POV went something like "well if you like it, good for you....but it couldn't be me".
Did people suggest she break up with him or something?

Thanks so much for showing me my error. You are very much correct and I retract my statement! I was reading responses from her blog as well. I apologize for confusing the two.

 

[Kurlee]

I don't care about whether or not the OP's man prefers an Asian girl's look but is still with her anyway or about whether or not he would have approached her or not approached her in xyz scenario... that's not what the crux of the issue is.

I think people are speaking about the prevalence of black men who don't like certain racially defining characteristsics of their own people but gush over those of another race...AND the okey-doke negr...umm i mean black women who accept it, go along with it, and think it's funny and "just a preference".

damn u hit it right damn on!!

 

[10WordzOrLess]

@qchelle girl look, 1 of my blog commenters went so far as to tell me i owe her an explaination for publizin his views

There is a difference between those who expressed their dislike and their reasons for it and those who were intent on being outright hurtful and even trying to tell you how you should be handling your life. Those you need to give a ride on the point of your shoe

^THIS^

Acting like you owe them something.....SMH. That's why I said you're braver than I...and confident to boot.

 

[reeko43]

JussaLady, that .gif is hilarious!

 

[reeko43]

damn u hit it right damn on!!

I don't see how that comment is any better than comments made by op's boyfriend. In fact this is far worse and more damaging as the comments are made under the guise of being down for our race. The person who stated this stated it in another thread along with the comment about "whitey". It is a shame that in all the bitterness you all can't even see how this kind of garbage further separates us as a people. I can only hope that you can learn better and do better. This is as okey doke as it gets.

 

[Irresistible]

Oh yea:

I'm surprise this thread is still alive, it must be a slow day on LHCF

owwwwwaaaaa! dearly beloved , we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life.........

 

[reeko43]

Well this thread has gotten me through my pre poo, shampoo, dc, sulfur application, moisterizing and sealing and braiding. Thanks and peace.

 

[Irresistible]

So anyway, I know my man wishes my hair wasnt so oily, since I drown it in coconut oil and it leave oil slicks on his shirts, face etc.(I tell him just rub it in it's good stuff ) until it absorbs into my hair again, and it aint like there is a way to get away from this ponytail I got going down my back when hugging me etc He moves my pony tail out of the way all the time-I only got tired of him swinging it like it ain't heavy and had to ask him not to do that

I can just see it now, my oily heavy long arse pony tail was the deal breaker in a lifetime of possible love .....that would be one sorry mutha if that happened dat's all I gotta say

I don't expect him to 'like' everything, as I don't. I just simply know that I am loved. and dang, that is more than enough for me......

who would I be to really expect someone to like everything about me, when I dont even have the capacity to do the same. Hell I wish his hairline would come back

but whatever -not a deal breaker-not even a second thought

True love trumps all!

some of this natural hair stuff gets to deep for me. I been natural 17 years and ALWAYS understood men generally do appreciate long swanging hair, , hey WE ALL RELAXED OUR HAIR AT one point, so we did the same to crucify them for that now as a natural is a little absurd to me , I have learned that also does not mean that they cannot or wont/ don't find the beauty in a beautiful head of natural hair. My experience at least. I really never took it all that personal.

 

[Miss_C]

No disrespect OP, but I'm not sure why we're discussing a private conversation between a girl and her bf.
What you think is cute (his comments about asian hair etc), we don't find cute. So a lot of ladies reacted negatively to what he said because we aren't close to him and we don't know him so what you think is funny or cute or understandable, might not be so for everyone else.
Honestly, it seems like you forced the issue by creating the original post, and once he saw that people responded negatively, he felt the need to come back and give an articulate response. I know from your posts you are extremely pro-natural, so we know your stance. Why do we need to hear his? The hair is on your head, we know you love it, and that's good enough, at least for me.
It seems like you are playing devil's advocate and creating a vicious cycle, posting things he says, waiting for LHCF responses, not liking the responses, and then defending him despite the fact that you don't like what he said either. I don't get it.
In regards to his actual statements, he thinks like a lot of black men, what's the big deal? But seriously, why are we discussing this?

 

[tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT]

Why are you wasting your time? You have explained enough and have certainly been civil enough. The only mistake you made was requesting that people not judge your man. I personally would have given less than a ____! There is a difference between those who expressed their dislike and their reasons for it and those who were intent on being outright hurtful and even trying to tell you how you should be handling your life. Those you need to give a ride on the point of your shoe

you're cooler than a dauuuuuuum cucumber.... sending my very first friend request

friend me o' intelligent and logical one

 

[tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT]

So anyway, I know my man wishes my hair wasnt so oily, since I drown it in coconut oil and it leave oil slicks on his shirts, face etc.(I tell him just rub it in it's good stuff ) until it absorbs into my hair again, and it aint like there is a way to get away from this ponytail I got going down my back when hugging me etc He moves my pony tail out of the way all the time-I only got tired of him swinging it like it ain't heavy and had to ask him not to do that

I can just see it now, my oily heavy long arse pony tail was the deal breaker in a lifetime of possible love .....that would be one sorry mutha if that happened dat's all I gotta say

I don't expect him to 'like' everything, as I don't. I just simply know that I am loved. and dang, that is more than enough for me......

who would I be to really expect someone to like everything about me, when I dont even have the capacity to do the same. Hell I wish his hairline would come back

but whatever -not a deal breaker-not even a second thought

True love trumps all!

some of this natural hair stuff gets to deep for me. I been natural 17 years and ALWAYS understood men generally do appreciate long swanging hair, , hey WE ALL RELAXED OUR HAIR AT one point, so we did the same to crucify them for that now as a natural is a little absurd to me , I have learned that also does not mean that they cannot or wont/ don't find the beauty in a beautiful head of natural hair. My experience at least. I really never took it all that personal.

Irre I'm just mad at you about that damn hairline.....

 

[Irresistible]

No disrespect OP, but I'm not sure why we're discussing a private conversation between a girl and her bf.
What you think is cute (his comments about asian hair etc), we don't find cute. So a lot of ladies reacted negatively to what he said because we aren't close to him and we don't know him so what you think is funny or cute or understandable, might not be so for everyone else.
Honestly, it seems like you forced the issue by creating the original post, and once he saw that people responded negatively, he felt the need to come back and give an articulate response. I know from your posts you are extremely pro-natural, so we know your stance. Why do we need to hear his? The hair is on your head, we know you love it, and that's good enough, at least for me.
It seems like you are playing devil's advocate and creating a vicious cycle, posting things he says, waiting for LHCF responses, not liking the responses, and then defending him despite the fact that you don't like what he said either. I don't get it.
In regards to his actual statements, he thinks like a lot of black men, what's the big deal? But seriously, why are we discussing this?

oh girl u r funny, didn't you just discuss it too?

 

[Irresistible]

Irre I'm just mad at you about that damn hairline.....

sorry


I wish mine would come back too

 

[reeko43]

oh girl u r funny, didn't you just discuss it too?

I almost spit Mike & Ikes all over my laptop!!!! This thread is the gift that keeps on giving!