How he feels about my hair ...

[Soul♥Flower]

I agree with his response.

This is how I feel about the whole thing, if my FH ever comes and tells me he doesn't like the natural hair look, and he prefers straight hair on black women, I would be a little annoyed but really ...Ok.
He doesn't like my hair, and I'm sure there are a few other things that he doesn't like about me.... just as there are a few things that I don't like about him. But we love each other and there's a bigger picture so certain things don't really matter. I mean, my hair is natural and it's pretty much gonna stay this way so he can take or leave.

As much as I love my hair...when it comes to how it plays into my relationship, it's pretty much a non-issue.

Everyone has their opinion, and since I'm not in the business of expecting people to think like me, I'm jsut gonna say...Thanks for sharing! lol

 

[ConstantlyDynamic]

i expected as much

haha i had expected that as well but i didn't say it. if the OP is happy though, that's fine. i just know i couldn't be with a man that has skin tone/hair texture preferences. i want to be with someone who sees the beauty in different types of people.

imo there's a difference between having a preference and not liking something. i prefer muscular men just like the OP but the guys i've dated were either skinny or slightly muscular (no lance gross bodies). i still liked their bodies though. that was a part of my attraction to them. it wasn't my preference but i didn't dislike their bodies (i'm a lot more strict about other preferences-i want a man who thinks for himself and doesn't feed into everything society says-that's a main feature i look for in a man). he does not like her hair AT ALL. he's been with her for a long time so has grown to love her but if he had just met her, he probably would've written her off because she was more attractive to him when she was relaxed. to me, it's just settling. personally, i think i'm too good to stay with a man who would've written me off just because of my hair. i was in that situation once and i thought to myself "i have plenty of offers from other men who think my naps are beautiful so why stay with the guy who can't accept it?" so i left him haha i mean in general, it reeked of immaturity to me and i became less attracted to him. i'm relaxed now but will be going back to natural and i didn't want that type of thinking around me. but if having someone who sees the beauty in all people isn't something the OP cares about then she wouldn't see things this way and that's fine. it's her life, not ours

 

[chebaby]

child my naked wash and goes are the best. I don't do them often now because my hair tends to swallow my head. All you see is hair and a face peeking through

naked hair is the best i would have never known how soft my hair could be without products had it not been for my laziness lol.

 

[tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT]

I CAN'T!!!!

She DOES NOT talk like that all the time....lawd!!!!

ETA: I see that she said she was talking like that just for this video...still laughing

ri-hanna meets nicki minaj?

 

[qchelle]

You should ask him if he has any opinion on if his future daughters relax their hair or not. Maybe his opinion will be different? Maybe not though...

 

[Lucie]

i would seriously fight a few of you .......

(correction, whip some azzzzzz)

Bring it then.

 

[Tamrin]

 

[MsLizziA]

haha i had expected that as well but i didn't say it. if the OP is happy though, that's fine. i just know i couldn't be with a man that has skin tone/hair texture preferences. i want to be with someone who sees the beauty in different types of people.

imo there's a difference between having a preference and not liking something. i prefer muscular men just like the OP but the guys i've dated were either skinny or slightly muscular (no lance gross bodies). i still liked their bodies though. that was a part of my attraction to them. it wasn't my preference but i didn't dislike their bodies (i'm a lot more strict about other preferences-i want a man who thinks for himself and doesn't feed into everything society says-that's a main feature i look for in a man). he does not like her hair AT ALL. he's been with her for a long time so has grown to love her but if he had just met her, he probably would've written her off because she was more attractive to him when she was relaxed. to me, it's just settling. personally, i think i'm too good to stay with a man who would've written me off just because of my hair. i was in that situation once and i thought to myself "i have plenty of offers from other men who think my naps are beautiful so why stay with the guy who can't accept it?" so i left him haha i mean in general, it reeked of immaturity to me and i became less attracted to him. i'm relaxed now but will be going back to natural and i didn't want that type of thinking around me. but if having someone who sees the beauty in all people isn't something the OP cares about then she wouldn't see things this way and that's fine. it's her life, not ours

ConstantlyDynamic I have a skin tone preference myself ... i like chocolate men

 

[HoneyA]

ri-hanna meets nicki minaj?

She definitely didn't sound like Rihanna in that one. Didn't know she was born in Jamaica.

 

[MsLizziA]

You should ask him if he has any opinion on if his future daughters relax their hair or not. Maybe his opinion will be different? Maybe not though...

qchelle we actually already talked about this and he told me that after seeing the movie Good Hair, he wouldn't mind if i never relaxed our daughters hair because of the chemicals.

 

[reeko43]

Where are you getting this from? Who says I'm frowning?

I'm not watering down anything. I said a page or two ago that for ME it was an issue. To ME, somebody feeling like they need to "tolerate" a part of me is a problem. Why is that so hard to believe?

I am just having fun since I don't know how to post gifs yet. I was just throwing booboo in the wind to see where it stuck until it was time to get off work. This thread went left long time ago. Just a little lighthearted fridayness. Sorry if i offended.

 

[LunadeMiel]

Bring it then.

Ou pa bon tande

 

[Kenny-Ann]

I can't keep up with this thread! I usually don't post when the conversation gets like this, but there is a first time for everything.

I could bake a great big cake, give 100 different people a piece of the cake and get 100 different reasons why they liked it or not. If they did like it or did not like it is their preference, but who cares...I know my cake is "da bomb".

I think a lot of ladies wouldn't have minded the opinion that the OP's boyfriend gave if it wouldn't have come out the way that it did..."Per dat krinkly shyt!!!". As we see in the 12+ pages (probably 14 by the time I write this), lots of different women reacted lots of different ways. If it was their boyfriend, I know that some would take it with a grain of salt, laugh about it and keep on moving, while it might be a hurtful blow to others. Not everyone is as strong as the next.

Anyways....I was chatting about this with a friend of mine and the thought just hit me. If I posted what the OP originally posted, and ya'll saw that my SO, who is white, said that I needed to...."Per dat krinkly shyt!!! ", I couldn't help but wonder if it would still be kinda funny.

It's just another one of the crazy thoughts that go through my mind...but I couldn't help but wonder. BTW...my SO loves how versatile my hair is now that I'm natural. He might not like EVERY style, but he tells me he doesn't in his most loving way.

It is so great to see so many different opinions. It makes life so much more FUN!!!

Ya'll have to excuse my brain going all over the place, but sometimes complete thoughts are hard for me to do.

I think I am gonna go make a cake.

 

[Kenny-Ann]

wow...I didn't mean for my reply to be so long.

 

[MsLizziA]

Kenny-Ann If a AA man said it and it wasn't funny (to them), i could GUARANTEE YOU if a white man said it, they would have pitch forks waiting at your door step

 

[chebaby]

@qchelle we actually already talked about this and he told me that after seeing the movie Good Hair, he wouldn't mind if i never relaxed our daughters hair because of the chemicals.

to me this sounds like "i wish my daughter had straight hair, i mean i really want her to have straight hair. but since you gotta do it with chemicals i guess her natural will have to do".erplexed

 

[MsLizziA]

to me this sounds like "i wish my daughter had straight hair, i mean i really want her to have straight hair. but since you gotta do it with chemicals i guess her natural will have to do".erplexed

chebaby i think yall really fishn for something that is not there

 

[Arcadian]

Its a full moon tonight. Jus sayin.

-A

 

[DDTexlaxed]

OP,

So what if you were dark and your bf proclaimed that dark skin was undesirable, not as attractive, and that light skin was preferable to dark skin? What if he essentially stated that he would prefer your look more if you were light skinned? Would you be upset? Or would his musings about his dislike for dark skin and preference for light skin still be 'cute' and just 'his preference'?

Then he would not have been interested her enough to approach her. It's just that simple. If their relationship were only about hair, he would be gone already. Why can't you guys understand this? Please know there are people out there who feel what you wrote is true, also. That is also their right to have a preference. I wouldn't give a rat's butt about their point of view. Ya'll taking it a little too far.

 

[tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT]

Bring it then.

i thought u were so bashful and sweet in that daah siggy....

but gooyyyyyt dauuuuuum u came out swinging in this thread

maybe i just missed it before

but yaaah lucie i don't do cyber wars ..... so I'm gonna have to pm u my address to get this on and poppin! i'm very much ol' school:hardslap::hardslap:

 

[MsLizziA]

DDTexlaxed THANK YOU! Their making mountains out of mole hills and looking for something that isn't there!

 

[ConstantlyDynamic]

@ConstantlyDynamic I have a skin tone preference myself ... i like chocolate men

i said I couldn't be with someone who had those types of preferences. that's just me. i didn't become a sociology major for nothing haha these types of issues are important to me and therefore i'd want someone who was cognizant of the ways in which their "preferences" are shaped by history and society. best example, Common-he can approach a natural-haired woman and think she's beautiful but he also sees the beauty in the relaxed or weave-wearing women. he can approach a woman regardless of skin tone as well. he doesn't discriminate in those ways and i love that characteristic in men. but like i said, that's just me

and 1) you are chocolate yourself. i think it's great that you love your skin tone because too many people have hang ups about this issue.
2) do you dislike light skin? because i get the sense that your bf dislikes natural hair regardless of the style (that's what i got from the previous interview). i doubt you'd write someone off just for being light skin but i don't know you so maybe you would. your bf came off like the type of guy who wouldn't have noticed you if you were natural and he would've missed out on a great opportunity. that's what it sounded like to me. i don't think that staying with you makes him less shallow-he's already with you, he's already fallen for you, knows everything about you etc. but you were relaxed when you met him. if you were natural, things could've gone differently and like you said, it's just hair so if he didn't approach you just because your hair was natural (which is what God gave you and it's what grows out of his own head), then that is shallow to me.

 

[MsLizziA]

ConstantlyDynamic no i don't dislike light skin, its just not my preference although i have in the past, dated light skin guys... for some reason they are highly attracted to me.. lol

I guess i dont see it that way. I feel like if it was that big of an issue, he would have left a very long time ago.

 

[Irresistible]

Dang, so what do yall think about a man who LOVES your hair and doesn't want you to cut it, but you cut it and he 'tolerates it' but it's not his preference

or how bout you go through Chemo and he misses your hair but loves you enough to see YOU ARE NOT YOUR HAIR

I had a five year relationship with a man with beautiful hair down his back, meanwhile I had just jacked my hair with a relaxer and was just going natural back in 1994, I was learning my hair and trying new things, he saw me, stood by me through ALL of that. I know he looked sideways at some of the things I did to my hair back then. But he is the one I credit for my being natural today, he is the one that sat me down and explained that my hair would continuously be jacked with relaxing etc etc , while greasing my scalp. He was the one that taught me that I could comb through my hair with conditioner, he was with me from that point of jacked up thinning ends to full mid back length hair. many years later. I know he wished my hair would get it together faster than it did, dang, I wished it too. But HE LOVED ME PAST MY HAIR, braids, buns, grease and all. I'm tryin to figure out what any of our hair issues have to do with LOVE....NOTHING.

And I didn't love him because of his hair. Although part of the initial attraction, He cut it years later anyway, that man could have went bald or gained a pregnant stomach or lost everything he owned and nothing would stop me from loving him. Still love him to this day

 

[Lucie]

i thought u were so bashful and sweet in that daah siggy....

but gooyyyyyt dauuuuuum u came out swinging in this thread

maybe i just missed it before

but yaaah lucie i don't do cyber wars ..... so I'm gonna have to pm u my address to get this on and poppin! i'm very much ol' school:hardslap::hardslap:

LOL! I am sweet! We can meet after school/work Monday half-way from our homes. I hope you're in NYS. Gas is expensive!

 

[MsLizziA]

Dang, so what do yall think about a man who LOVES your hair and doesn't want you to cut it, but you cut it and he 'tolerates it' but it's not his preference

or how bout you go through Chemo and he misses your hair but loves you enough to see YOU ARE NOT YOUR HAIR

I had a five year relationship with a man with beautiful hair down his back, meanwhile I had just jacked my hair with a relaxer and was just going natural back in 1994, I was learning my hair and trying new things, he saw me through ALL of that. I know he looked sideways at some of the things I did to my hair. But he is the one I credit for my being natural today, he is the one that sat me down and explained that my hair would continuously be jacked with relaxing. He was the one that taught me that I could comb through my hair with conditioner, he was with me from that jacked up thinning ends to full mid back length hair. many years. I know he wished my hair would get it together faster than it did, dang, I wished it too. But HE LOVED ME PAST MY HAIR, braids, buns, grease and all. I'm tryin to figure out what any of our hair issues have to do with LOVE....NOTHING.

And I didn't love him because of his hair. He cut it years later anyway

Irresistible These are all questions that need answers

 

[reeko43]

Then he would not have been interested her enough to approach her. It's just that simple. If their relationship were only about hair, he would be gone already. Why can't you guys understand this? Please know there are people out there who feel what you wrote is true, also. That is also their right to have a preference. I wouldn't give a rat's butt about their point of view. Ya'll taking it a little too far.

In all fairness I had my own moments where I took it way too far, probably farther than most on this forum. Armed with my minor in African American studies, my sit ins and my anti-interacial dating anti all things not Black thinking, I was ready to change the world. I had the nerve to be pissed at my great aunt because she didn't go to the march on Washington in the 60's! I really had some nerve!! Thank goodness she loved me enough to see past my foolishness. I was so caught up no one could convince me to see things any other way. However, even Malcolm X had a humbling moment when he realized all White people are not the devil. I had to have mine too.

As I grow older and experience so many things I see the world much differently now. Your cause should never more important than love and appreciation for all. If your cause benefits only some and takes away your compassion and patience for those unlike yourself, you have no real cause. You are just trying to have your way.

 

[jennboo]

Then he would not have been interested her enough to approach her. It's just that simple. If their relationship were only about hair, he would be gone already. Why can't you guys understand this? Please know there are people out there who feel what you wrote is true, also. That is also their right to have a preference. I wouldn't give a rat's butt about their point of view. Ya'll taking it a little too far.

I don't care about whether or not the OP's man prefers an Asian girl's look but is still with her anyway or about whether or not he would have approached her or not approached her in xyz scenario... that's not what the crux of the issue is.

I think people are speaking about the prevalence of black men who don't like certain racially defining characteristsics of their own people but gush over those of another race...AND the okey-doke negr...umm i mean black women who accept it, go along with it, and think it's funny and "just a preference".

 

[MsLizziA]

jennboo its how they were developed, you can't knock them for it.. just sayn..

I think its very funny cuz our grandmothers and mothers conditioned this generation of men and while we maybe tryna change the view on it, it takes time for their views to be changed as well

 

[*CherryPie*]

exactly.

I don't care about whether or not the OP's man prefers an Asian girl's look but is still with her anyway or about whether or not he would have approached her or not approached her in xyz scenario... that's not what the crux of the issue is.

I think people are speaking about the prevalence of black men who don't like certain racially defining characteristsics of their own people but gush over those of another race...AND the okey-doke negr...umm i mean black women who accept it, go along with it, and think it's funny and "just a preference".