Members with Non-Black SO's: How are they with your hair?

[Evolving78]

My SO loves my hair curly and free (no headbands or clips). I straightened it this week and he was like, "i don't date girls with straight hair anymore." I thought that was cute.

On the other hand, I saw a guy I used to date (black guy) and he said I needed to straighten my hair. He said the curly fro didn't "fit my personality."

Just my opinion, but I think hair is way more political to black folk than non-black folk.

that is a cute pic of you guys in your siggy! i'm glad you ladies have men in your lives that are cool with the natural you.

 

[TwistedRoots]

He doesn't really care. He compliments on it if he really likes the style... Weaves, wigs, my hair...he's in love with my face and body sooo...he could really careless. As long as I'm on point in front of his black friends

The only thing he hates is my little pink satin bonnett. He thinks it looks like something a grandmother should wear

 

[ghanja]

I asked my DH of the caucasion persuasion and he stated that he liked my hair more when I had extensions...this was at about the 5 month bc point. Then all of a sudden I started getting more attention from black guys, at least here in Georgia a lot of them have dreads and fro's so they are starting to understand the natural hair journey. I was getting a lot of "Glad to see a proud black woman" type of comments. Then I kept it braided for 2 months and I got no attention lol, but I understand why I had cornrows and looked more like a home boy. Once I took out the braids then I started getting a lot of attention but from more earthy folks of both genders...which is good cause thats how I am. Then when my hubby saw me once he finished basic a few months back he liked my natural hair much more. He was actually able to play with it. He...umm also got more "happy" cause it makes me look more savage to him he is starting more terms of endearment that have to do with my heritage, (trying to say this as G rated as possible)...besides all that no man can tell you whats your sexy, he cant tell you how to find your inner Goddess. Once you find it then he'll like it cause your happy.

 

[Prelude to a Kiss]

My hubby loves my hair when it's out of my bun... He's still learning that my hair can not take the type of abuse his mother and sister dish out to their own (bleaching, dying, daily blow-frying, etc.). There's pics of us in my LHCF album.

 

[Filmatic]

I am single, but my ex used to love my hair weave, straight, whatever. As long as I look on point he was happy. He also liked me without the weave. He didn't see my real hair until we dated for a year. That use to be my rule :/ He always loved it and couldn't understand why I wore a weave.

 

[wyldcurlz]

(he's my ex now, but...) he was soooo cute about my hair. i explained how most black girls aren't okay with getting their hair wet cuz its too long of a process to straighten/flat-iron it again. we were caught in a down pour once and he covered my head with his jacket. he'd stand closest to the shower head (knowing that was my preferance trying to avoid having to style before work or whatever.)

he always loved my hair no matter the style (though he hated the buns!), even when i simply wore it wet, air-dryed curly in a ponytail. but his favorite was when i wore it down, straighted with lots of waves/curls in it. he didn't understand my PJ~ism, just teased me about it. i don't think its a big deal to them. its all new and neat and interesting.

 

[flyygirlll2]

My SO is very supportive thankfully. He understands what this haircare experience means to me and all the work it entails. He's complimentary no matter the style i wear my hair. If I like it, he loves it and I could'nt have asked for more.

 

[Neith]

My so is very sweet.

He likes my hair. Likes to play with it, smell it, watch me do it.

Truth be told, I think he's really grown to appreciate kinky hair textures... not that he disliked them before, but he didn't really pay attention.

He actually knows quite a bit about hair now

But basically, it's no biggie. I accept and love him the way he is, he accepts and loves me the way I am and that's that.

I accept him even when his hair gets oily and stinky if he goes an extra day or two without washing it He can accept some tangles and shirnkage

 

[anherica]

My DH thinks I'm obsessed with hair and LHCF, but he's very supportive. When I did the BC he loved my short natural and said I should have done it sooner. He's puzzled that I want to grow it out, because according to him it's just too much trouble. But, I want to find that out for myself. When he makes the bed now, he knows to put on a satin pillowcase for me. He also takes most of my hair pictures.

 

[Ivy Santolina]

When I did the big chop in 2000 the majority of compliments came from white men (strangers too). Unfortunately, very few black men were as encouraging. When I assistant-coached my son's soccer team some of the kids (all white) would play with my dreads. I didn't mind because I saw myself as an ethnic natural hair-care ambassador. Now, I get compliments from all sorts of people regardless of ethnicity and gender. It's amazing how the perception of beauty has changed over such a short period of time.

To answer this thread's question: My 4x4-lov'n Redneck future DH loves to play with my hair. He's learned to be gentle with my hair when it's out because it tends to tangle and break-off more. However, when I wear two-strand twists I let him go to town. I recently started texturizing my hair and I'm dealing with the frizzies. Now matter what I do with my hair, fDH always compliments it. He once told me I'm beautiful no matter what I do with my hair.

Since the texturizer, fDH did complain that I don't let him play with it anymore. I plan on putting my hair in two-strand twists today after DC to give it a rest. He'll be pleased.

fDH is sympathetic with my hair obsession. He's kinda obsessed with his own hair too since it's thinning and receding. He's also developing a bald spot at the crown which he isn't happy with. Since I like to experiment with hair concoctions he's my neutral-henna guinea pig. I also bought him the Groganics product line which he uses religiously. The henna helped to thicken the thinning hair and the Groganics seemed to have slowed down or halted the hair loss. Since I joined the MT challenge I bought him a bottle too. I mixed some of his Groganics salve with some MT in an applicator bottle. So now we're mega-sagging together.

 

[song_of_serenity]

DF loves when I stretch my relaxers. He's always has his hand in my hair feeling for my "little curlies" as he calls it. He wants me to cut off the straight hair so bad. (yeah right) He wonders why I fuss so much about my hair when all he does is wash and sometimes conditions with one brand while I have this that and the next. He also raises eyebrows at my mixture. He loves to stick his nose in my hair after a fresh condition wash and he's grown to love the smell of my vatika oil.

I was TOO THOUGH when he stuck his hand in one of my expensive hair lotions (only a teeny bit was to be used) and using his four finger, gooped it all over his bone straight 1b hair, laughing. He also didn't understand why I was so upset over that.

But I love him for his appreciation for my hair. He loves it when it's wild and crazy, curls of any sort...straight is alright as well since it's beautiful either way, but given the chance, he'd have it natural any day.

~*Janelle~*

 

[NuBraveHeart]

wow, i think i have been waiting on this question...

my SO loves my hair, no matter what. it's all so new to him. when we first met i was rocking a weave, and because he hadn't ever dated a black woman before, he was clueless, but got really excited with all the possibilities when i broke the news to him. seems like he digs EVERY style. he really likes when i bun; he rubs his hands from my forehead to my ponytail in one fell swoop, "mmm, i like that!" he ALWAYS says. he also likes braidouts and straight.

he is totally infatuated with my DCing; my carel portable bonnet reminds him of toad from the super mario brothers, and he puts FOOTBALL oh mute to watch it inflate with the biggest eyes and grin. he's so cute. he's really supportive, and has all these questions about hair. i explained hair type by curl pattern, which he never understood as he is asian. but, it's been a great experience for us both. he sticks his nose in my hair after every wash and takes a big whiff. he was not so happy he did that when i had soaked in amla oil though... "i don't like that..." haha.

 

[lady djm]

I have to say these stories are too cute.

 

[Cxshortie]

My hubby doesnt understand why I have so many hair care products, but he loves my hair big and curly rather than straight.

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

The longer my hair is, the more it flatters me. Then all races "like it" with the exception of certain BM who had an issue with whether or not it was mine. '

When Im texturized or have the shoulder length curl, my Hispanic and mixed exes liked it the most. My father prefers ME natural.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

My hubby is very supportive. although he is white and doesn't understand why I'm so obsessed with my hair, he surprises me every day with what he does to make me happy. For our last anniversary, he gave me a gift certificate to my salon. I was awestruck. He says you work so hard for your hair, you deserve to take a break and let yourself be pampered. He also remembers products I didn't like and things that made my hair thrive. Even I forget sometimes! He is so supportive whether I relax or BC, he just wants me to be happy. Love that man!

 

[hairdrama:{]

My SO likes my hair pretty much however I wear it. He says I’ve come a long way now that my hair is showing some length and looks healthy. He appreciates everything I do for my hair, loves my ponytail, calls me “my rasta girl”….when I wear braidouts and “Mary J” when I wear it straight with big sunglasses ……..; although most of the time I wear my hair up but he likes my bun as well. He says my new growth feels like cotton and he likes to touch it……... The only thing he doesn’t like is wigs and dirty hair .

 

[Casarela]

my bf is a PJ on the low. I have so many bottles of infusium..he always runs to me and say me too baby me too..and im like whaat..hes like put some for me. Last time I realised i was runnin out of infusium and couldnt find one bottle guess where it was in my bf's car and he became so red n laughing n telling me how he likes to test my products. When it comes to my hair he wonders why I dont wear it out. welll..im not down with leaving my hair out yet ..im in a protective mode.

 

[Christelyn]

These stories are so cute. Some of them are so touching. It's amazing how members of other races are more sensitive, supportive and in tune with our hair, while some members of our own race are not.

 

[CocoBunny]

These stories are so cute. Some of them are so touching. It's amazing how members of other races are more sensitive, supportive and in tune with our hair, while some members of our own race are not.

It has been my experience, that other races are not pondering our hair the way we think they are. They truly don't sit around thinking that black woman can't grow long hair or wondering why we do what we do. The only negative feedback or prying questions I've ever recived about my hair are from other AA's.

 

[BlackHairDiva]

For my SO.

same here.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

It has been my experience, that other races are not pondering our hair the way we think they are. They truly don't sit around thinking that black woman can't grow long hair or wondering why we do what we do. The only negative feedback or prying questions I've ever recived about my hair are from other AA's.

I don't know if that is true. I have an Asian friend who will remain nameless...who said thank goodness I take care of my hair and it's not short, damaged, and crispy like other black women's. And to be honest, I did not hate the comment because it was just honesty of their perspective. I said it's not true of all of our experience, but was told that the majority that was seen, they wondered about why the hair looked so dry, short, damaged, and little hairs all on shirts. So I think other races do think about things.

 

[ChocalateDiva]

My ex husband was white. Now that I think back..........he just loved ME...never commented on my hair or even acted like he gave a dang- unless I ask him directly and he was always complimentary.

Now- my black current SO is another story altogether. He is always making comment about how I "need to do something with my hair".........even when I think it is "done"..

 

[IrisDaVirus]

My DH actually prefers my hair natural. Not that I really give a damn because I'm gonna do what I want to my hair regardless. But he's always loved my natural hair. He says it's a perfect reflection of my crazy, easy-going, good-natured personality.

 

[jada1111]

My ex was latino and he loved my hair. Never had a problem with it.

 

[CocoBunny]

I don't know if that is true. I have an Asian friend who will remain nameless...who said thank goodness I take care of my hair and it's not short, damaged, and crispy like other black women's. And to be honest, I did not hate the comment because it was just honesty of their perspective. I said it's not true of all of our experience, but was told that the majority that was seen, they wondered about why the hair looked so dry, short, damaged, and little hairs all on shirts. So I think other races do think about things.

...........

 

[Christelyn]

My ex husband was white. Now that I think back..........he just loved ME...never commented on my hair or even acted like he gave a dang- unless I ask him directly and he was always complimentary.

Now- my black current SO is another story altogether. He is always making comment about how I "need to do something with my hair".........even when I think it is "done"..

That statement can't help me to wonder why your "ex" is an "ex".

 

[Violets-are-blue]

I don't know if that is true. I have an Asian friend who will remain nameless...who said thank goodness I take care of my hair and it's not short, damaged, and crispy like other black women's. And to be honest, I did not hate the comment because it was just honesty of their perspective. I said it's not true of all of our experience, but was told that the majority that was seen, they wondered about why the hair looked so dry, short, damaged, and little hairs all on shirts. So I think other races do think about things.

That reminds me of something that happened yesterday. One of my Asian classmates asked questions about my hair. She seemed timid to ask at first, it was kinda cute. I guess since I wore my hair out for the first time since the year began( in a braidout some days earlier.) I explained to her about shrinkage and stuff, and she seemed amazed. Then she pointed to another black girl and asked about her hair and why mine was different. So I explained it was chemically straightened and compared it to someone with straight hair getting a curly perm. I also had to explain that no, her hair didn't grow out of her head straight and that she needs to get touch-ups like women who color their hair. She assumed most black girls' hair grew out a straight, since most of the black girls in my school wear their hair relaxed. I guess to her, my hair was the anomaly. It was nice getting the chance to educate her a little though.

I don't think people of other races sweat our hair as much, but may be curious. I'm guessing a good percentage of members of other races are prolly' clueless about our hair, and might make false assumptions based on what they see until they get the chance to ask.

 

[missnappylady]

Mine loves when he gets to play in my hair. He just wishes I didn't fuss so much over my hair and buy so many products.

 

[ChocalateDiva]

That statement can't help me to wonder why your "ex" is an "ex".

Real talk, Christelyn. I was thinking the same thang as I typed that post.