How he feels about my hair ...

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Brittster
1QTPie
here ya go:
Daniel: u dont want me to write no post bout natural hair
Elizabeth: lol
Elizabeth: ya uuhuh
Daniel: its gon be short n sweet
Elizabeth: topic?
Daniel: Per dat krinkly shyt!!! The End. p.s. this message was approved by the owner of StrawberriCurls
Daniel: Perm
Elizabeth: hol up
Elizabeth: i thought u had converted over
Elizabeth: i thought u liked my hair now?
Daniel: i like a few of ur hairstyles and i make not like what a perm does to women hair but that silky straight hair has my heart, Sawwy
Elizabeth: yo heart?
Elizabeth: lol!
Elizabeth: u cant be serious
Daniel:

Elizabeth: dude i have straightened my hair many times at the end of last year
Elizabeth: its a work n progress.. i get better n better each time i do it
Elizabeth: n my hair now looks wwwwwaaayyy better than it ever did when it was permed
Elizabeth: but no seriously, you want to do a small post for me on how your views have changed about my hair since it grew out? u ca be completely honest
Daniel: nah not really
Elizabeth:
Daniel: n my views on hair arent directed at u
Daniel: i just like the silky hair
Elizabeth: well im not saying they are but im just basing it on the fact that i am the only chick u have had to deal with directly as far as hair is concerned
Elizabeth: and lets be honest, u dont act half as bad as u did when i first cut it all off
Daniel: i didnt like the “natural” look way before i started talking to u
Elizabeth: ok, has your views changed on it any at all since i have been on my hair journey
Elizabeth: n dont laugh at that
Daniel: only that i see a few natural hair styles i like
Daniel: u could actually use this conversation as ur article since u interrogating me
Elizabeth: lol.. im not interrogatting u
Elizabeth: well hell since we already talm bout it
Elizabeth: Did you know natural hair was as versatile as it is?
Daniel: nope, but with that being said i dont like majority of the “versatile” styles
Elizabeth: Name some styles you like
Elizabeth: besides the ones i already know
Daniel: i dont know any ones besides the ones u know, YOU introduced me to them, remember, I damn sure dont sit there and study natural hair
Elizabeth: lol.. ok the one i had the other night at the party was a bantu knot out
Elizabeth: u said u liked that one
Daniel: i wont remember that
Elizabeth: ok
Elizabeth: lol
Elizabeth: thats fine
Elizabeth: i know u like the straight look right
Elizabeth: right thats established
Daniel: well to be fair i havent seen it straight straight just bushy straight
Elizabeth: ~gasp~ bushy straight?
Elizabeth: how straight u lookn for it to be buddy
Elizabeth: ?
Daniel: -looks for Asian hair pics-
Elizabeth: I KNEW THAS WHAT U WERE DOING!
Elizabeth: I KNEW IT!
Elizabeth: i was just sittn here thinkin “this boy bout to send me a link of some asain silky hair”
Elizabeth: so thas not straight enough for you?
Daniel: i mean its cool, but my preference is straighter
Elizabeth: |-(
Elizabeth: u want this straight YouTube - The New Year's Eve Bun Drop: Reniece's Flat-ironed, Natural hair
Elizabeth: that i aint learned how to do yet
Daniel: you cant be mad about it, Afro American women started it, yall been frying n perming yall hair since slavery ended, now a couple hundred years later a few decide they wanna go back to the “natural” look and you expect men to just up and change the preference we’ve been conditioned to love just because yall all Pro-Black c’mon son
Daniel: now that’s some hair!
Elizabeth: i know right
Elizabeth: ..i feel kinda played though
Elizabeth: cuz that wasn’t ur reaction to mine
Daniel: bet she dont let her man put his hands on it tho
Elizabeth: but yea she’s natural
Daniel: smh @ Black women
Elizabeth: LMAO
Elizabeth: u just made that assumption!!
Elizabeth: u dont know that!
Daniel: assumption made on history
Daniel: yall do all that stuff to ur hair to attract men then dont want em to touch it… betcha Su-yen or Diana let their men run all up and through their hair
Elizabeth: lol!!
Daniel: but i support the “Natural” movement maybe my grandsons will have it as their preference but as for grandpappy its ((emo)) all day
Elizabeth: i let you touch my hair
Daniel: when u get it how that woman has hers i bet that stry’ll change
Daniel: story’ll
Elizabeth: lol that’s not true
Elizabeth: i let u touch it now!
Elizabeth: its not gonna change just cuz i got better at straightening it
Daniel: n u DONT let me touch it when its styled, only when its in those transition stages
Elizabeth: u never ask when its styled
Daniel: cuz i know better
Elizabeth: lol! but if u never tried then.. how would you know
Daniel: u’ve told me dont touch a few times
Elizabeth: i have no memory of that
Daniel: i bet u dont |-(
 
mjsliberiangrl said:
Honest interview but, to me he didn't really express much of an opinion or if he did, it was hard to really understand because of the typing style? Was that over Skype? LOL

I began dating my SO while transitioning and have been wearing wigs for the duration of the relationship. As for my natural hair, he loves it because I love it but, I'm sure he has his preferences, as do I. I prefer his facial hair clean shaven with a goatee over the scruffy look with a beard.

As for your blog post interview, I think its just the style and verbiage that he used to express his preference is what will have readers turned off by it, more than anything.
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That is what made it hard for me to read.
 
MsLizziA said:
LOL! No he doesnt date asian women, he's referring to the texture of their hair. He is talkin about the straight and sleek look. He doesnt actually WANT an asian chick.

I thought the statement was funny but i guess b/c that's the sense of humor i have.
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I can't really name a black woman who can achieve the asian straight hair..well without buying it. If he said the texture like when Hispanic women straighten their hair..then MAYBE. But ASIAN..lol. Shot most white women can't get their hair that straight. That's going to be a challenge..good luck with that!
 
loveurself84 said:
I can't really name a black woman who can achieve the asian straight hair..well without buying it. If he said the texture like when Hispanic women straighten their hair..then MAYBE. But ASIAN..lol. Shot most white women can't get their hair that straight. That's going to be a challenge..good luck with that!
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But im not goin try tho :lachen:
 
This was my fav line LOL
Daniel: nope, but with that being said i dont like majority of the “versatile” styles
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I think this could be an interesting and honest discussion. It's about more than him liking natural hair -- he is also adapting to a big change in your appearance from when you first got together.

I think we can allow black men to be honest about how they feel when a gf decides to go natural. After all, he met her with straight hair and prefers straight hair. IME it's pretty obvious when a man prefers straight hair. So no, he's not gonna jump for joy when you go natural and don't straighten often. But he can be supportive and appreciate your new journey. Just as you should if he decides to switch up his appearance too.

I don't hate on men who dislike hair worn in its natural state. I hate on men who have this preference and think they convince me to wear straight styles. I prefer to wear my hair curly.
 
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Okay anyway. This is not my man..and if it was..I think there would of been some furniture moving after the convo..(yeah I go hard..lol). If you can deal with his mentality..then that's great for you. PERSONALLY, I don't think he will ever like your hair..and he will be "longing" for the Asian look.
My man encouraged me to go natural..and even takes pictures of "puffs" when he sees them. Yes he was a little pissed when I bced so early..but now that it has grown out..he keeps telling everyone his wife is natural..lol.
Girl just do what you gotta do..like I said, that your man.
 
I think it's good that you and he have open, honest communication. All men, not just black men, have preferences.

I think he had a very good point about men (black men) being conditioned to find one look attractive for many years and then suddenly being expected to change...very true.
 
That would turn me off entirely, I prefer more of a thinker...who is hopefully more in touch with 'black issues'. The asian thing.....just sad really.

I agree with his point about women being so weird about their own hair that now men dont know what to think about it though.
 
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OP...I reall want to read your blog post so that I may form my own opinion, but seriously...You need to rewrite it!

All of that text message lingo got my head swimming and caused me to instantly bounce away from your post. If I found your site from simple internet searching, I would never visit it again due to the typos and general bad grammar...

It's kind of hard to effectively get your point across when no one can even understand what the heck you all are talking about...
 
Mai Tai said:
OP...I reall want to read your blog post so that I may form my own opinion, but seriously...You need to rewrite it!

All of that text message lingo got my head swimming and caused me to instantly bounce away from your post. If I found your site from simple internet searching, I would never visit it again due to the typos and general bad grammar...

It's kind of hard to effectively get your point across when no one can even understand what the heck you all are talking about...
Click to expand...

I edited very few things.. i just basically copied and pasted it
 
MsLizziA said:
I edited very few things.. i just basically copied and pasted it
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Regardless...I think it should be fixed so that you, as a blogger, can properly convey the whole point of your blog post. What's the point of posting it when no one can comprehend it? Regular English will suffice...
 
Mai Tai said:
Regardless...I think it should be fixed so that you, as a blogger, can properly convey the whole point of your blog post. What's the point of posting it when no one can comprehend it? Regular English will suffice...
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I could. I would think that anyone who texts/instant messages in this day and age could understand it.
 
You guys have been together 5 years and you have been natural for 2 of them so I don't think his preference is going to change. Since I'm natural, whoever I'm with is going to have to like natural hair because that's how he will meet me.

His opinion doesn't offend me. I may not like hearing it, but it still is what it is. I don't like men with long hair; I prefer it to be cut close. We all have our preferences. :/
 
LovinLea said:
I could. I would think that anyone who texts/instant messages in this day and age could understand it.
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I understand your point, but this is a conversation turned into a blog post. Reading text lingo (one text at a time) is different then reading a whole page of it all at once.
 
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Ok. I read it and understood. He's a comedian right?

I could tell that he was on joke time. I'm not offended, he likes what he likes, but he ain't kicking you out of bed over your hair. And I'm sure that if he decided to grow locs or cornrows or perm his hair that you will give him the same respect, but you don't have to like it.

I get that.

Would it bother me? Yes and no. I deal with a man right now (off and on, long distance) that loves my hair straight, but I had no idea until the first time I straightened my hair super straight. (We've known each other for years, as we were classmates in high school, he's seen my hair in all of it's stages.) He out of the blue said, "oh, you're doing your white girl thing, I like it."

Picture me shocked. Then picture me amused, disgusted and amused again. White girl thing huh? hmmm... *side-eye*

I let him have that moment.

Why? Because I know him. I knew what he meant, and yes, he meant it like he said it, but he wasn't being malicious or telling me that he doesn't like me for me. He's just ignorant like that some times. This man has lived in every corner of the world, he has spent significant time in 49 of the 50 states, but when it comes to hair, skin color etc, he's still stuck. It's ok though. I consider myself an educator. I will not (or try not lol) to put people I care about down for not knowing any better.

The day I washed my hair, and returned it back to it's normal state, he said, "I guess that's it huh?" I said, "yep."

Then later, when we were having one of our many chop-it up sessions, I told him how I felt about the African diaspora and how our migration (by choice and not by choice) and colonialism, slavery, et al. skewed our views about ourselves physically, spiritually and overall, mentally.

He knew, by the end of our conversation, that my hair is important and serious business for me. (He has locs) That "white girl" jokes are not ok in front of me. Good hair/bad hair conversations are of no interest. That I view my hair as divine and beautiful they way it is.

But it's not the same for him. He UNDERSTANDS, he knows that his statement was ridiculous, but I can't change how he feels, only he can. I'm not in the position to do more than myself.
 
1QTPie said:
Ok. I read it and understood. He's a comedian right?

I could tell that he was on joke time. I'm not offended, he likes what he likes, but he ain't kicking you out of bed over your hair. And I'm sure that if he decided to grow locs or cornrows or perm his hair that you will give him the same respect, but you don't have to like it.

I get that.

Would it bother me? Yes and no. I deal with a man right now (off and on, long distance) that loves my hair straight, but I had no idea until the first time I straightened my hair super straight. (We've known each other for years, as we were classmates in high school, he's seen my hair in all of it's stages.) He out of the blue said, "oh, you're doing your white girl thing, I like it."

Picture me shocked. Then picture me amused, disgusted and amused again. White girl thing huh? hmmm... *side-eye*

I let him have that moment.

Why? Because I know him. I knew what he meant, and yes, he meant it like he said it, but he wasn't being malicious or telling me that he doesn't like me for me. He's just ignorant like that some times. This man has lived in every corner of the world, he has spent significant time in 49 of the 50 states, but when it comes to hair, skin color etc, he's still stuck. It's ok though. I consider myself an educator. I will not (or try not lol) to put people I care about down for not knowing any better.

The day I washed my hair, and returned it back to it's normal state, he said, "I guess that's it huh?" I said, "yep."

Then later, when we were having one of our many chop-it up sessions, I told him how I felt about the African diaspora and how our migration (by choice and not by choice) and colonialism, slavery, et al. skewed our views about ourselves physically, spiritually and overall, mentally.

He knew, by the end of our conversation, that my hair is important and serious business for me. (He has locs) That "white girl" jokes are not ok in front of me. Good hair/bad hair conversations are of no interest. That I view my hair as divine and beautiful they way it is.

But it's not the same for him. He UNDERSTANDS, he knows that his statement was ridiculous, but I can't change how he feels, only he can. I'm not in the position to do more than myself.
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:lol:

This is how i feel.. he doesn't have to love it, but he accepts it because he knows it isn't going anywhere... he still supports me though so his comments aren't hilarious to me now.

Im not gonna lie, i used to try and force him to like it but i don't anymore. He accepts it even though he doesnt care for it so y can't i show him the same respect?
 
The bushy straight thing actually had me laughing because I had been urging my bf to grow his hair out for a while, and finally he got tired of me asking (I guess) and said "I'll grow my hair out if you straighten yours. i dont think i've ever seen it straightened before"

mind you I have straighted my hair many times beforehand but I admit my technique isn't that great so most of the time it comes out more kinky straight. I didn't even know what to say to that, lol.

I think he has a point in terms of men being conditioned to find one thing attractive and then all of a sudden change their mind, but I still found his attitude kind of sad. Him going to find pictures of asian hair was THE saddest moment of that conversation. So he wants a girl with a weave then? 'cuz that's the only way I see that happening...
 
I guess I am not sure what your intentions were for posting this? This is the feeling of most black men, so why post a convoluted text convo expressing the same negative opinion? #confused
 
Rei No actually he HATES weaves and wigs.. he hates when i wear them at all. I mean i wasn't offended by it, i thought it was funny.. i guess cuz i know him.

natural_one lol.. there was no "aim" for this post. I stated on my blog that i had BEEN trying to get him to do an interview about it for me because i wanted to hear what he had to say. He's not speaking for all men, just himself
 
So a man has to LOVE everything single thing about you or it's a wrap??? Well I don't like facial hair but if he wanted to grow it out I could live with it. With some of the woman here on this board I understand why they have issues involving men, unrealistic expectations to say the least. What if you decide to get a relaxer in a year, you just change your mind like we are known to do, then he has to LOVE that too?? SMH
 
babyu21 said:
So a man has to LOVE everything single thing about you or it's a wrap??? Well I don't like facial hair but if he wanted to grow it out I could live with it. With some of the woman here on this board I understand why they have issues involving men, unrealistic expectations to say the least. What if you decide to get a relaxer in a year, you just change your mind like we are known to do, then he has to LOVE that too?? SMH
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babyu21 ~ducks and cover~ :lol::lol: girl don't come up in here tellin the truth!! :lachen:
 
I don't really know what to say OP. Since the post is for opinions/discussions, my opinion is it doesn't look good. Dude goes looking for asian women for pictures of beauty? :nono: This is just your 2nd year natural?

Good luck with that.
 
tapioca_pudding said:
A relaxer isn't the only way to achieve straight hair, we already know that. To ME, straightening the hair is just a different styling option.

Maybe I just don't take it as deep. To me it's simply preference, it's not about loving me as I am. He apparently loves her, he'd just like to see her hair styled a different way. :)

ETA - I see where this thread is going. Welp, time to go.... :lol:
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You did well. Now run for your life.
 
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