How he feels about my hair ...

[MsLizziA]

Hey ladies! I have been trying to get my BF to talk about how he feels about my hair for the longest! Well i finally got him to and i wrote a blog post about it. I just thought i would share it with you guys

How My Man Feels About Natural Hair…

*****UPDATE*****
So he read all of your responses ladies and he has something to say to you guys. I personally don't take this offensively and if you do I'm not sure what to say about it. Anyway here is his response.....

How My Man Feels About Natural Hair…….. PT. 2

 

[MsLizziA]

dont attack him please..lol

 

[Etherealsmile]

If you don't want him attacked then you should never have posted this OP. I'm sorry


When i'm with a man, he needs to accept all of me....naps and all. If not he needs to git because i don't play that. I've come too far in terms of accepting myself to have some man tell me he prefers silky straight hair to the hair God blessed me with.


what the rass??

 

[MsLizziA]

If you don't want him attacked then you should never have posted this OP. I'm sorry


When i'm with a man, he needs to accept all of me....naps and all. If not he needs to git because i don't play that. I've come too far in terms of accepting myself to have some man tell me he prefers silky straight hair to the hair God blessed me with.


what the rass??

No it was honest. And i really don't feel like he HAS to be attacked because i posted it. And honestly if i was really afraid of it, i wouldnt have posted it on my blog at all

All im saying is that one can state their opinion without being nasty about it

But to each his own b/c i feel like even though he doesn't like it, he still loves me enough to try and attempt to like at least some of the styles i wear.

And actions speak louder than words cuz his hands (despite what he says) stays in it

 

[LuvlyRain3]

Well honest questions deserve honest answers. I don't knock men for their visual preferences. As long as he's not trying to get you to do something to your hair that you don't want to do then I don't see the problem. Just because a man might love you doesn't mean he loves everything about your look. He might not be a natural hair advocate but so what. Plus there was some truth to some of the things he said.

 

[MsBoinglicious]

"Daniel: well to be fair i havent seen it straight straight just bushy straight"

"Daniel:you cant be mad about it, Afro American women started it, yall been frying n perming yall hair since slavery ended, now a couple hundred years later a few decide they wanna go back to the “natural” look and you expect men to just up and change the preference we’ve been conditioned to love just because yall all Pro-Black c’mon son" lol

"Daniel: yall do all that stuff to ur hair to attract men then dont want em to touch it… betcha Su-yen or Diana let their men run all up and through their hair"

*shakes head* You got your hands full huh?

 

[MsLizziA]

"Daniel: well to be fair i havent seen it straight straight just bushy straight"

"Daniel:you cant be mad about it, Afro American women started it, yall been frying n perming yall hair since slavery ended, now a couple hundred years later a few decide they wanna go back to the “natural” look and you expect men to just up and change the preference we’ve been conditioned to love just because yall all Pro-Black c’mon son" lol

"Daniel: yall do all that stuff to ur hair to attract men then dont want em to touch it… betcha Su-yen or Diana let their men run all up and through their hair"

*shakes head* You got your hands full huh?

yes girl i do..

 

[**SaSSy**]

Um, I miss the old LHCF...but anyway

Why are you giving a disclaimer? If you don't want people to give their honest opinion on what you posted why even mention it. This is forum, and where you posted the interview is a public blog. You could have shared this with family and friends if you're so sensitive.

The interview is okay. He's coming off very aloof and it's like your forcing him to give his view on a subject you can clearly read he doesn't want to talk about. If he likes your hair, but says one thing it's not that serious to think other wise. People say and do things they don't mean all the time.

Thanks for sharing!

 

[Aviah]

I personally have no words, but just know that though he has his right to an opinion, so does the forum. This may not go well!

 

[tapioca_pudding]

Why are we so hell bent on men loving our natural hair? I never understood the 'my man betta love my naps' statement. Men are allowed to have a preference too, or did I miss something?

So he likes straight hair. Most men do. What's next?

 

[MsLizziA]

Um, I miss the old LHCF...but anyway

Why are you giving a disclaimer? If you don't want people to give their honest opinion on what you posted why even mention it. This is forum, and where you posted the interview is a public blog. You could have shared this with family and friends if you're so sensitive.

The interview is okay. He's coming off very aloof and it's like your forcing him to give his view on a subject you can clearly read he doesn't want to talk about. If he likes your hair, but says one thing it's not that serious to think other wise. People say and do things they don't mean all the time.

Thanks for sharing!

Who's giving a disclaimer? Cuz i asked yall not to attack him? U can be honest without coming off nasty and i never said people couldn't give their opinion about it. i been on this forum long enough to know how people can get around here so im not stopping anyone from talkn about it.

If he didn't wanna do it, trust me, he wouldn't have said anything at all.

But thanks for your input!

 

[Aviah]

Why are we so hell bent on men loving our natural hair? I never understood the 'my man betta love my naps' statement. Men are allowed to have a preference too, or did I miss something?

So he likes straight hair. Most men do. What's next?

I'd guess its a simple as wanting to be beautiful to our men. Being on a hair forum, you can tell hair is important to us, so logically, its something we would want them to love, especially where natural hair may be regarded as not being beautiful IRL, some support at 'home' helps.

 

[EssenceOfBeauty]

I had a hard time reading it so I didn't get to finish it. However, I DID read the quotes from one of the ladies. He is very honest and THAT is admirable

 

[Lucie]

Why would you share this? I am really tired of hearing about black men with less-than-nice comments about OUR natural hair. Personally, I don't deal with men that don't love my hair in its natural state. This article was a a major turn off.

 

[MsLizziA]

I'd guess its a simple as wanting to be beautiful to our men. Being on a hair forum, you can tell hair is important to us, so logically, its something we would want them to love, especially where natural hair may be disregarded as not being beautiful IRL, some support at 'home' helps.

I think he definitely hit the nail on the head. I wouldnt even say its all men, i would just say the man your with. I could care less if other men liked my hair or not

 

[tapioca_pudding]

I'd guess its a simple as wanting to be beautiful to our men. Being on a hair forum, you can tell hair is important to us, so logically, its something we would want them to love, especially where natural hair may be disregarded as not being beautiful IRL, some support at 'home' helps.

I get this, 100%. I get us *wanting* them to love it, because it's important to us and because we love it. But if they don't love it...... then they get attacked? I guess that's where I get lost.

I guess I just look at it as preference, same as weight/height/skin tone/features. You like what you like.

 

[lux10023]

very wll said!!!


i dont think anyone is being nasty in this thread--what i do think is ppl are giving an honest reaction to dudes POV

i do think its odd that a man cant run his fingers through his girls/wifes hair...and with his POV he wouldnt be my man..yes love me and all of me..you want silky holla at the next..mmmkay
my honest 2 cents...

the ladies of LHCF are a very honest crowd...know your audience

If you don't want him attacked then you should never have posted this OP. I'm sorry


When i'm with a man, he needs to accept all of me....naps and all. If not he needs to git because i don't play that. I've come too far in terms of accepting myself to have some man tell me he prefers silky straight hair to the hair God blessed me with.


what the rass??

 

[Lucie]

Why are we so hell bent on men loving our natural hair? I never understood the 'my man betta love my naps' statement. Men are allowed to have a preference too, or did I miss something?

So he likes straight hair. Most men do. What's next?

Because it's how we're created. No one is born with a relaxer. So if you can't love me as I am then we have a problem.

Who's giving a disclaimer? Cuz i asked yall not to attack him? U can be honest without coming off nasty and i never said people couldn't give their opinion about it. i been on this forum long enough to know how people can get around here so im not stopping anyone from talkn about it.

If he didn't wanna do it, trust me, he wouldn't have said anything at all.

But thanks for your input!

You are. And since you decided to give a disclaimer you had to be ready for all sorts of opinions. I agree that no one should attack him but this is a sore topic for many, and your BF has only added fuel to the fire.

 

[Tamrin]

You have to be ready for the responses on the forum. You cannot expect everyone to find it cute. Personally it is offensive. If you cannot love my hair then there is a problem. I think for him to go look for asian hair pics is even more offensive.

This thread is a reminder of: "When keeping it real goes wrong."

 

[MsLizziA]

Because it's how we're created. No one is born with a relaxer. So if you can't love me as I am then we have a problem.



You are. And since you decided to give a disclaimer you had to be ready for all sorts of opinions. I agree that no one should attack him but this is a sore topic for many, and your BF has only added fuel to the fire.

You have to be ready for the responses on the forum. You cannot expect everyone to find it cute.

1st of all, no one has to come in here and state the obvious, I KNOW how things get around here and im ready for it, otherwise i wouldnt have posted it.

2nd i NEVER SAID no one can speak honestly, this is LHCF , that's what we do here. All i said was don't attack him, that's it. I never said, don't speak your mind. If i didn't want anyone's opinion , i wouldnt have posted it.

Im happy he did it because i wanted to see what he would say about it. Your views and opinions are your own, im not knockin anybody in this thread for it.

 

[tapioca_pudding]

Because it's how we're created. No one is born with a relaxer. So if you can't love me as I am then we have a problem.

A relaxer isn't the only way to achieve straight hair, we already know that. To ME, straightening the hair is just a different styling option.

Maybe I just don't take it as deep. To me it's simply preference, it's not about loving me as I am. He apparently loves her, he'd just like to see her hair styled a different way.

ETA - I see where this thread is going. Welp, time to go....

 

[Lucie]

1st of all, no one has to come in here and state the obvious, I KNOW how things get around here and im ready for it, otherwise i wouldnt have posted it.

2nd i NEVER SAID no one can speak honestly, this is LHCF , that's what we do here. All i said was don't attack him, that's it. I never said, don't speak your mind. If i didn't want anyone's opinion , i wouldnt have posted it.

Im happy he did it because i wanted to see what he would say about it. Your views and opinions are your own, im not knockin anybody in this thread for it.

But if you know all of this, why share? We already know what the general consensus is. Why keep pouring salt on the wound? I am sick and damn tired of receiving my daily dosage of what is wrong with black women! Ironically, he has the very same hair he has issues with. So...............

 

[DirtyJerzeyGirly]

He sounds like my brother. and my nephew, and my friends' bf...wow he sounds like quite a few black men I know.....

Different strokes for different folks. He has a type that he likes.

 

[MsLizziA]

But if you know all of this, why share? We already know what the general consensus is. Why keep pouring salt on the wound? I am sick and damn tired of receiving my daily dosage of what is wrong with black women! Ironically, he has the very same hair he has issues with. So...............

Ok so im convinced that you just feel offended and this his who your taking it. Nobody said anything about something being "wrong" with black women. It just how he feels about HAIR.

I think maybe your looking a little to deep into this. He is still with me and accepts it so apparently, its not a deal breaker. I don't need him to "love" it, i do that just fine by myself.

 

[MsLizziA]

A relaxer isn't the only way to achieve straight hair, we already know that. To ME, straightening the hair is just a different styling option.

Maybe I just don't take it as deep. To me it's simply preference, it's not about loving me as I am. He apparently loves her, he'd just like to see her hair styled a different way.

ETA - I see where this thread is going. Welp, time to go....

tapioca_pudding

 

[**SaSSy**]

You have to be ready for the responses on the forum. You cannot expect everyone to find it cute. Personally it is offensive. If you cannot love my hair then there is a problem. I think for him to go look for asian hair pics is even more offensive.

This thread is a reminder of: "When keeping it real goes wrong."

Oh yea I forgot he said that part, and he also said:

Her: i let you touch my hair
Him: when u get it how that woman has hers i bet that stry’ll change
Him: story’ll
Her: lol that’s not true
Her: i let u touch it now!
Her: its not gonna change just cuz i got better at straightening it
Him: n u DONT let me touch it when its styled, only when its in those transition stages
Her: u never ask when its styled
Him: cuz i know better


I feel you're trying to express a non-partisan discussion on here, but he's not looking too hot on a mostly black, hair-board taking about looking at Asian hair pictures and you're not letting him touch your hair.

I do think he like/love you and your hair though, but his opinions are just a little touchy

 

[gcchick_07]

does he normally date asian women?

if their photo is the one he goes to of hair he prefers?

i mean, if he has a preference...why not get the real authentic thing.

that's like saying you prefer asian women but only if they have a blonde fro.

oh well. i'm not dating him.

but i don't date men who are constantly thinking about how much better i could look if...

 

[MsLizziA]

does he normally date asian women?

if their photo is the one he goes to of hair he prefers?

i mean, if he has a preference...why not get the real authentic thing.

that's like saying you prefer asian women but only if they have a blonde fro.

oh well. i'm not dating him.

but i don't date men who are constantly thinking about how much better i could look if...

LOL! No he doesnt date asian women, he's referring to the texture of their hair. He is talkin about the straight and sleek look. He doesnt actually WANT an asian chick.

I thought the statement was funny but i guess b/c that's the sense of humor i have.

 

[mjsliberiangrl]

Honest interview but, to me he didn't really express much of an opinion or if he did, it was hard to really understand because of the typing style? Was that over Skype? LOL

I began dating my SO while transitioning and have been wearing wigs for the duration of the relationship. As for my natural hair, he loves it because I love it but, I'm sure he has his preferences, as do I. I prefer his facial hair clean shaven with a goatee over the scruffy look with a beard.

As for your blog post interview, I think its just the style and verbiage that he used to express his preference is what will have readers turned off by it, more than anything.

 

[Britt]

Darn, I can't view the blog from work.

OP, having read the replies, you prob should not have posted it. This board will tear you apart for messing w/ a man that does not embrace all of your naturalness. Men are visual creatures and many of them are still into the 'good' hair mind set so they may not care too much for natural hair that is not curly . Funny, this morning I spoke to my friend about me possibly going natural, I emailed my gf the convo he and I had and she thought it was funny and cute. To say the least, he's not thrilled in the least bit seeing me w/a twa . He'd love me regardless, but he's quite clear that he likes LONG hair. He might be more open to me being natural if my natural hair was prob like shoulder length or something. I remember one time I was on a hair forum, and he looked over my shoulder and a woman with 4a hair had a beautiful twist out and he goes "oh, her hair looks nice." I don't think it registered to him that she was natural, he just saw her hair and liked it. It's all visualization for them.