How do you be a good girlfriend?

[*SkolarStar*]

There are many threads about each end of the spectrum: finding a man and being a good wife. However, there aren't many on being a good girlfriend or the in between stage of being single and being married. There are already a couple of things that I won't do until I'm married. But, I guess I'm confused at the "Ok, now I have him and he wants to be with me. Now what?" stage.

What does being in an unmarried relationship mean to you?

 

[biznesswmn]

Now its time to learn him and decide if u can deal w his crap while at the same time, remaing true to self.

 

[ladysaraii]

There was a great thread about girlfriend duties a few years ago, including one excellent post. Let me find it for you.

ETA: Keep in mind, this thread was mostly about what a girlfriend is not required to do (namely cook up and clean after a man) but there were some nice posts about what a girlfriend is. Here is my fave:

To me, a girlfriend is just that: A girl who is a friend. As the #1 friend in his life (his "boys" do not come before me), I am supportive, cheerful, and fun to be around. I accept his devotion and lavish him with compliments as positive reinforcement. Being seen with me makes him look good and he rises in the esteem of others through association with me. My treatment of him, the deliciousness of my food on the occasions he may find some leftovers in my fridge, the spotlessness of my apartment when I allow him over, the way I handle my younger siblings, and my overall demeanor all tell him that I would make a fine wife. He respects my values and dignity, both of which prevent me from being his bedroom freak, maid, or chef before we have embarked on a life together ordained by God. He auditions for me, showing me that he is an excellent provider and protector, and will only get better with age, so that I may consider ceding over my health and almost a year per child to producing his offspring. It is not natural for women to audition and preen for men. Even animals know that.

Thread here

 

[hopeful]

Excellent ladysaraii. Very nice post.

 

[ladysaraii]

Thanks @hopeful

That was Theinds I believe who wrote it, but it definitely stuck with me.

 

[ava2]

Now its time to learn him and decide if u can deal w his crap while at the same time, remaing true to self.

[FONT=&quot]
I agree.

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Although you (general) are not auditioning for role as wife, you do want to see if you are capable and willing to meet his needs/expectations. And vice versa.
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]You need to have some idea, on a surface level, how well you interact, complement one another, and solve problems together.
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]For the marriage-minded I see this "girlfriend" stage as the time to establish the level of treatment you expect.

It is also as a good opportunity to practice "praise" and "appreciation" for your guy and all that HE does for YOU.

I also see this as a time to learn how to stay in your lane, and stay on your pedestal. It is harder than it seems[/FONT][FONT=&quot] .[/FONT]

 

[ladysaraii]

[FONT=&quot]
I agree.

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Although you (general) are not auditioning for role as wife, you do want to see if you are capable and willing to meet his needs/expectations. And vice versa.
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]You need to have some idea, on a surface level, how well you interact, complement one another, and solve problems together.
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]For the marriage-minded I see this "girlfriend" stage as the time to establish the level of treatment you expect.

It is also as a good opportunity to practice "praise" and "appreciation" for your guy and all that HE does for YOU.

I also see this as a time to learn how to stay in your lane, and stay on your pedestal. It is harder than it seems[/FONT][FONT=&quot] .[/FONT]

*taking notes*

@ava2

I love this response. Would you/could you expand on this or maybe provide examples?

 

[ava2]

...........

 

[ladysaraii]

ava2

Thank you very much for the additional response! Very helpful

 

[ava2]

@ava2

Thank you very much for the additional response! Very helpful

You're welcome.

 

[MizAvalon]

I was never able to remember what thread it was from but I have always remembered that last line, taken it to heart, and tried to pass it on to other women when I could.

"It is not natural for women to audition and preen for men. Even animals know that."

 

[MizAvalon]

ava2, I love your Tumblr.

 

[ava2]

@ava2, I love your Tumblr.

Thank you, kindly.

 

[LovelyLouboutin]

I like this thread