HELP!

[cieramichele]

Even if it's incredibly racist and self deluding, you are correct. You like what you like.

There really is no point in trying to argue with you and make you see the error of your ways.

It's amusing how you dance around the valid questions you're being asked, though.

And its amusing how you all try to pick me apart when it wont change anything. QUIT. There are no errors. Im have certain preference. Thats all to it. CASE CLOSED.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

It boggles my mind how people can come onto a message board of practically all black women, make these statements and are surprised at the responses and questions they receive.


We have black daddies, brothers, boyfriends, husbands, uncles and cousins whom we love! Unfortunately for you most of us cannot relate and give you the sympathy you seek. However we have given you your answer from early on. Be more direct about your disinterest and keep it moving.

Good luck to you. Hopefully you will open up about these preferences you hold.

 

[cieramichele]

It boggles my mind how people can come onto a message board of practically all black women, make these statements and are surprised at the responses and questions they receive.


We have black daddies, brothers, boyfriends, husbands, uncles and cousins whom we love! Unfortunately for you most of us cannot relate and give you the sympathy you seek. However we have given you your answer from early on. Be more direct about your disinterest and keep it moving.

Good luck to you. Hopefully you will open up about these preferences you hold.

Well thanks I guess.
Instead of making it a racial issue, I wanted a solution to a person that wasnt my "type".
But again, Ive dated black men before so its not like I HAVENT given them a chance.

I expected some of the girls to react this way but why some kept reaching is beyond me.

 

[Starian]

Well thanks I guess.
Instead of making it a racial issue, I wanted a solution to a person that wasnt my "type".
But again, Ive dated black men before so its not like I HAVENT given them a chance.

I expected some of the girls to react this way but why some kept reaching is beyond me.

You're the one that made it racial by saying that he wasn't your type because he is black.

Yeah, you gave black men a chance. At 16 and prior. You were a child and immature as hell. We're the same age and I remember when I was 16. How you can base your lifelong preferences off of dating experiences you had as a child is...

I'm assuming that the black boys you dated were also 16, unless you were with an older man and that's basically pedophilia. Men mature much slower than women so that 16 year old black boy probably had the maturity of a 12 year old.

All you've dated in your adult life are white men. Therefore you have not legitimately given black men a chance.

 

[cieramichele]

You're the one that made it racial by saying that he wasn't your type because he is black.

Yeah, you gave black men a chance. At 16 and prior. You were a child and immature as hell. We're the same age and I remember when I was 16. How you can base your lifelong preferences off of dating experiences you had as a child is...

I'm assuming that the black boys you dated were also 16, unless you were with an older man and that's basically pedophilia. Men mature much slower than women so that 16 year old black boy probably had the maturity of a 12 year old.

All you've dated in your adult life are white men. Therefore you have not legitimately given black men a chance.

SO many assumptions. Assumptions get you no where. You all act as if Im not aware of black men & their relationships with women. I know there are GOOD men no matter what color.

two, I haven't dated a white man so far. Bring facts to the table next time. It'll do you some good.

 

[Starian]

SO many assumptions. Assumptions get you no where. You all act as if Im not aware of black men & their relationships with women. I know there are GOOD men no matter what color.

two, I haven't dated a white man so far. Bring facts to the table next time. It'll do you some good.

Oooh sarcasm. Never heard that before.

Ah well. You like "others" and disregard the "coloreds" if that is what makes you happy. I'm not losing any sleep tonight.

Honestly though, if I have offended you and "assumed" things that are not the case, I apologize. If you feel attacked, I apologize for that as well. You are new to this forum, so I guess the dynamics are a little surprising.

Saying that black men don't appeal to you for any other reason aside from the fact that they are black is not going to sit well with a majority of women that are black, have black SOs, etc.

To me, you seem confused. You also seem racist. But we are not friends and have never met so I don't know anything about you other than what you put out there. But I do know several women with a thought pattern just like yours. I doubt these "assumptions" are being pulled out of anyone's ass.

Seriously, I wish you the best. I hope the situation with the guy works out. I think it might do you some good to not mention race when you don't want something to turn into a racial thread. Good luck.

 

[DragonPearl]

Is this thread a late April FOOL joke?

It's an agent provocateur sort of thing.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

I don't think that she's self-hating at all (please don't take it there with me, b/c I never said that). A few weeks ago, I started a thread asking if there were any ladies on here that preferred not to date Black men, and I've never attacked anyone for their preferences.

And to add, I've always found ALL types of men attractive, not just Black men, so I have no problem with women admitting that they aren't attracted to certain things. However, I do wonder if for SOME women, there are other things going on. That's all. But truthfully, if I were a stone thrower, I would throw the same stones at the women who ONLY like dark-skinned men that I would at women that ONLY like light-skinned men as I would at those who ONLY like non-Black men. B/c truthfully, shutting ANYONE out for physical reasons (whether for color, height, weight, etc.) could be "attacked." I know what I like, and I say to others, if you know what you like "do you?" I like Latino men just as much as Black men, and I've also dated all kinds of guys. I just wonder if it's a physical thing, b/c if you like a certain "look," you can find that in our race, since Black people come in all shades/colors (unlike other races). That's why I was curious if it was just a color thing or a personality thing (i.e. you could find a "white or Latino looking Black male, like Wentworth Miller (white looking Black guy) or Will Lemay (Latino looking Black guy)!

I was agreeing with you. I didn't phrase my answer correctly. I agree with what you are saying.

I think it can be look and culture. I mean, I can LOVE my culture...but find Korean culture sexy and alluring, therefore I might prefer to date in that culture. Like I said, it's all about sexual and physical attraction. I don't understand why posters bring up daddies and uncles being black. You aren't sexually attracted to your family...at least I hope you aren't. That's a different kind of love/attraction. We're talking about lust/love/romance...the whole issue is so complicated, and for some posters to point to self-hate is ridiculous.

HOWEVER, OP...I wouldn't have brought race into this. Just look at it as a man you're just NOT interested in. To bring up race as the main factor on this board will get attacked for good reason. Black men don't give other black men with preference outside of the race nearly as much trouble. But then again...men are more chill...

 

[aloof one]

just dayum @ your whole post. perplexed She has said her peace, let it rest.

OK I just read the whole thread:

Clearly she stated her opinion and didn't want to talk anymore now that I saw, but there is nothing wrong with my post. If she can come online with that wack jumbo I can respond with whatever I want. It was a legitimate question, clearly she couldn't answer it along with several others.

BTW I don't think color is the biggest issue--- its a part of it, but I think people are mad because the OP is coming off as just plain shallow. She can have her preference, but all she had to do was say she wasn't interested. There is no reason to tell this man you don't want him for being black, just like it would be just as wrong for a white guy to say the same thing to her. Nobody wants to or needs to hear that. It is putting being black into a category it doesn't need to be in. Like its a disability or an ugly thing or something that can/should be changed.

 

[cieramichele]

Oooh sarcasm. Never heard that before.

Ah well. You like "others" and disregard the "coloreds" if that is what makes you happy. I'm not losing any sleep tonight.

Honestly though, if I have offended you and "assumed" things that are not the case, I apologize. If you feel attacked, I apologize for that as well. You are new to this forum, so I guess the dynamics are a little surprising.

Saying that black men don't appeal to you for any other reason aside from the fact that they are black is not going to sit well with a majority of women that are black, have black SOs, etc.

To me, you seem confused. You also seem racist. But we are not friends and have never met so I don't know anything about you other than what you put out there. But I do know several women with a thought pattern just like yours. I doubt these "assumptions" are being pulled out of anyone's ass.

Seriously, I wish you the best. I hope the situation with the guy works out. I think it might do you some good to not mention race when you don't want something to turn into a racial thread. Good luck.

Im atypical. What applies to some does not apply to all. Black men are appealing to some..but not to all.

I'll be sure not to throw around the race card around the sensitive. So if I have offended yall by saying I dont prefer to date black men then...

I cant apologize for it and what I like. I didnt bash them. I just said I dont prefer them.

Thanks

 

[Starian]

Im atypical. What applies to some does not apply to all. Black men are appealing to some..but not to all.

I'll be sure not to throw around the race card around the sensitive. So if I have offended yall by saying I dont prefer to date black men then...

I cant apologize for it and what I like. I didnt bash them. I just said I dont prefer them.

Thanks

Everyone likes to think they are atypical.

You're welcome.

Although I was being sincere with my well wishes.

 

[cieramichele]

OK I just read the whole thread:

Clearly she stated her opinion and didn't want to talk anymore now that I saw, but there is nothing wrong with my post. If she can come online with that wack jumbo I can respond with whatever I want. It was a legitimate question, clearly she couldn't answer it along with several others.

Begging for your answer huh?

This whole "youre dark and you dont like dark?" is just like... df?
"Opposites attract" and Im attracted to the opposite.

You all basically ask the SAME questions with different wording to me. No matter what yall ask, I like what I like and this criticism will not change it. Why ask me more questions?

 

[princess_sid]

someone has some mental issues know I mean complexes... I ain't saying know name Cie

 

[aloof one]

I'm just saying...

I think everyone learns their lesson on here at least once:

LYSOL Fact #387: If you get on LHCF with some jungle fever only pale penis stuff in the OP of the thread... especially when you only write a few lines in it... People are going to come back with questions. If you don't answer said questions... its like.. why did you start the thread in the first place?

You gonna ask for help then get mad when folks analyze (not over-analyze) the situation. Opposites attract is cool, but how are you going to complain when somebody the same as you wants to get with you? There is nothing to complain about. All you had to tell that dude was that you weren't interested.

But you had to act like he wronged you merely by being interested.

 

[cieramichele]

someone has some mental issues know I mean complexes... I ain't saying know name Cie

And someone is immature. Chill out.

 

[cieramichele]

I'm just saying...

I think everyone learns their lesson on here at least once:

LYSOL Fact #387: If you get on LHCF with some jungle fever only pale penis stuff in the OP of the thread... especially when you only write a few lines in it... People are going to come back with questions. If you don't answer said questions... its like.. why did you start the thread in the first place?

You gonna ask for help then get mad when folks analyze (not over-analyze) the situation. Opposites attract is cool, but how are you going to complain when somebody the same as you wants to get with you? There is nothing to complain about. All you had to tell that dude was that you weren't interested.

But you had to act like he wronged you merely by being interested.

Mad? LMMFAO. The only ones mad here are yall. Im just fine because at the end of the day, I will STILL do me and continue to keep my preference.

I expected questions. Some of them asked tastefully, some of them tried HARD to scrutinize in attempts to belittle me and/or get some shine in a big thread. Im not phased. Im just waiting for this thread to be closed so they can move along.

 

[kayte]

my friend, someone very wise once said to me
Human beings are precious and you do not f..*&^% with them

I maintain it's been a game....

I am sorry you exploited a rather benign situation to seek negative attention.... the guy made a mild comment on Face book indicating an availability..it does not sound even like a pursuit.... and it was one comment ..not like a neighborhood of black males or even white for that matter lined up to court and woo you...

you used this,though to initate inflammatory dialogue ... you are "insulted" when inevitably hurt feelings erupt because most of us..or I will speak for myself .....am on my own path of healing from the effects of racism...That becomes more difficult and disheartening when racism is being generated from within the black community itself where one ought to feel solidarity

So,when feelings surface,as course they will, instead of taking responsibility...you further alienate by ecalating the thread you started... and in my humble view...a bogus thread....all of which has been another game

Creating a false thread to parade or taunt or create a forum on preferences for white men or whoever and in doing so... encouraging slights of black men... all because one was nice enough to pay you a compliment...doesn't exempt from you being black... or grant you immunity or separate you from the black experience.......even clearly...you think it does..
being black....you are open to it...... is a beautiful God-given gift
even though you don't believe that now

Human beings are precious,.....
try to remember that?..friend and...easy on game playing
roll in some paint.. that's what a friend said to me when I was bored and tryin to start somethng
he said you need do create a poem or roll in some red paint and across a canvas

 

[cocoberry10]

Maybe its just that "once you go ____, you never go back" thing. I stepped out of that realm and have liked other ever since.

Okay, now I understand better

This message is to all ladies (including OP): Although OP I will admit, I "wonder" about the origin of your preference, I do respect it as your right to choose or "prefer" whatever you want. Sadly, IMO, there are just as many Black men out there who "prefer" not to date within the race, and I will say that it's very unlikely that they get "attacked" by Black women-loving Black men the way I find many Black women get "called out" by Black women. I love Black men, as my dad is one, my grandad was one, uncles, cousins, etc. (sorry, no brothers). However, even most of the Black men I know that ONLY love/date/marry Black women will rarely "go off" on a fellow "brother" for his choosing to date EXCLUSIVELY outside the race. For whatever reason, the OP has not really given us too much insight into her reason for dating EXCLUSIVELY OUTSIDE THE RACE, other than it being physical. I'm not sure if this means that she only likes a certain complexion (i.e. someone as light as Harold Ford, Jr. or fairer, even though Ford is Black), or if she prefers a certain culture (i.e. Japanese men). Until and unless she tells us, I guess we just won't know!

 

[cocoberry10]

Out of curiosity OP, what type of men do you like? You said you like "other." Does this mean you like Asian men, Latino men, Mixed/biracial guys, Middle Eastern?

I ask this b/c (oh heck, I'll just come out and say it), if it's a particular "look" you are going for, I guess my question is, if you saw a guy with a particular "look" that you liked, but then later found out he was Black, would that be a problem? I guess for me, I like all types of guys. So, for example, I would be just as attracted to Will Lemay as I would to Idris Elba as I would to someone that looked like Wentworth Miller. All are handsome, but they all look very different! I hope you understand my question.

For example, Will Lemay (model) is often mistaken for being Latino, even though he is biracial Black/White. Likewise, Wentworth Miller (actor) is often mistaken for being White (although he is biracial). Neither denies their heritage, but for people who just see them walking down the street, they may assume that they are not Black.

Will Lemay

Wentworth Miller

 

[aloof one]

OT: I don't like his hair in this pic
But he's cute. Probably too dark for OP though

 

[cieramichele]

Out of curiosity OP, what type of men do you like? You said you like "other." Does this mean you like Asian men, Latino men, Mixed/biracial guys, Middle Eastern? YEP

I ask this b/c (oh heck, I'll just come out and say it), if it's a particular "look" you are going for, I guess my question is, if you saw a guy with a particular "look" that you liked, but then later found out he was Black, would that be a problem? NO I guess for me, I like all types of guys. So, for example, I would be just as attracted to Will Lemay as I would to Idris Elba as I would to someone that looked like Wentworth Miller. All are handsome, but they all look very different! I hope you understand my question.

Answer in red.

 

[WhipEffectz1]

Okay so this guy knows that I have extreme jungle fever but it seems like he's still trying to get at me.

He's a really sweet guy and I dont want to be mean to him but, how the heck do I get him off my back and down to the friend level?

I cant just tell him verbally.

Girl, please do you and to hell what anyone else think! I swear, I've never seen so many women advocate for a group of men who slander/put them down/degrade them like black women. What's really going on???!!!!!! Take all that energy and invest in stocks or the real estate market! As yall were!

 

[Theo]

This whole thread is just... funny. Subscribing....

 

[Seeking8Rights]

Girl, please do you and to hell what anyone else think! I swear, I've never seen so many women advocate for a group of men who slander/put them down/degrade them like black women. What's really going on???!!!!!! Take all that energy and invest in stocks or the real estate market! As yall were!

ITA. ^^^

Do you and next time know your audience.

 

[sunnydaze]

Girl, please do you and to hell what anyone else think! I swear, I've never seen so many women advocate for a group of men who slander/put them down/degrade them like black women. What's really going on???!!!!!! Take all that energy and invest in stocks or the real estate market! As yall were!

LOL!!

..and just for the record, I was not at her liking non-black men (she has the right to like whomever she wants), I was b/c she can reject old dude in a way that has nothing to do with mentioning she doesn't date black guys..she can just say I like you as a friend and leave it at that! Race doesn't need to be addressed at all in this situation.

 

[mnemosyne]

Out of curiosity OP, what type of men do you like? You said you like "other." Does this mean you like Asian men, Latino men, Mixed/biracial guys, Middle Eastern?

I ask this b/c (oh heck, I'll just come out and say it), if it's a particular "look" you are going for, I guess my question is, if you saw a guy with a particular "look" that you liked, but then later found out he was Black, would that be a problem? I guess for me, I like all types of guys. So, for example, I would be just as attracted to Will Lemay as I would to Idris Elba as I would to someone that looked like Wentworth Miller. All are handsome, but they all look very different! I hope you understand my question.

For example, Will Lemay (model) is often mistaken for being Latino, even though he is biracial Black/White. Likewise, Wentworth Miller (actor) is often mistaken for being White (although he is biracial). Neither denies their heritage, but for people who just see them walking down the street, they may assume that they are not Black.

Will Lemay

Wentworth Miller

As an aside, I'd just like to say that these men are both yummy morsels of deliciousness except for the first guy in that pic with the part in his hair.

Can we talk about them instead?

 

[SweetNic_JA]

Girl, please do you and to hell what anyone else think! I swear, I've never seen so many women advocate for a group of men who slander/put them down/degrade them like black women. What's really going on???!!!!!! Take all that energy and invest in stocks or the real estate market! As yall were!

I've never personally experienced this from black man I've dated and I don't listen to most rap so...

 

[cocoberry10]

Girl, please do you and to hell what anyone else think! I swear, I've never seen so many women advocate for a group of men who slander/put them down/degrade them like black women. What's really going on???!!!!!! Take all that energy and invest in stocks or the real estate market! As yall were!

This whole thread is just... funny. Subscribing....

I agree. I'm subscribing too! But Whipz, you do make a point. However, I always say there are some GOOOOOOOOOOD Black men out there that I know would defend us to the end, but for those that don't, and even those that slander, no one ever says anything about it.

 

[WhipEffectz1]

I've never personally experienced this from black man I've dated and I don't listen to most rap so...

Keep on living!!!!

 

[WhipEffectz1]

I agree. I'm subscribing too! But Whipz, you do make a point. However, I always say there are some GOOOOOOOOOOD Black men out there that I know would defend us to the end, but for those that don't, and even those that slander, no one ever says anything about it.

I have a good one(black guy:eyebrows2) but oh all the frogs I had to kiss!!!