Help! Dating Advice For Those That Are Not Physically Attractive

Zaynab said:
My problem with the no makeup thing is that when makeup and/or appearance overall is addressed when we're discussing improving your appearance to possibly increase your dating opportunities or men approaching you--is that there is this immediate backlash. Like we are so afraid to say 'Well maybe I could try something new or improve my appearance b 10%'. It's no,I don't need all of that, I'm fine. It's not that anyone is saying 'it's wrong' but everyone has room for improvement-in all areas.

Also, there is this theme where people don't think they 'need' makeup and eww if you're wearing makeup, one doesn't look good otherwise. I have great clear skin, never a blemish- do I 'need' makeup? No. But do I like to improve how I look? Sure. It's such an odd dialogue. I feel like this regarding weight or anything. Oh no you're fine at this size, any man should want you just the way you are. But we're here to grow long hair to improve our appearance, to me improvement is improvement, regardless if it's makeup or not.
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I'm definitely for self improvement, especially where it will increase dating opportunities for those who want them. I hate when people whine about how they can't get a man, but then don't want to make any improvements to themselves. And not only do they not want to make any improvements, but they look down on anyone else who is willing/asking for advice. That's not necessarily a makeup issue though.

I just don't agree that every woman has to wear makeup every day. And if they don't want to, but still keep themselves up, I think that's fine. I do think everyone should do a little something extra for date night and formal events.
 
FoxxyLocs said:
I'm definitely for self improvement, especially where it will increase dating opportunities for those who want them. I hate when people whine about how they can't get a man, but then don't want to make any improvements to themselves. And not only do they not want to make any improvements, but they look down on anyone else who is willing/asking for advice. That's not necessarily a makeup issue though.

I just don't agree that every woman has to wear makeup every day. And if they don't want to, but still keep themselves up, I think that's fine. I do think everyone should do a little something extra for date night and formal events.
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I love all of this. Yep. :yep::yep:
 
FoxxyLocs said:
I'm definitely for self improvement, especially where it will increase dating opportunities for those who want them. I hate when people whine about how they can't get a man, but then don't want to make any improvements to themselves. And not only do they not want to make any improvements, but they look down on anyone else who is willing/asking for advice. That's not necessarily a makeup issue though.

I just don't agree that every woman has to wear makeup every day. And if they don't want to, but still keep themselves up, I think that's fine. I do think everyone should do a little something extra for date night and formal events.
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You see this a lot 'round these parts when posters bust into dating/relationship threads to say "this topic is so dumb". :lol: Never understood that.
 
@[URL="http://www.longhaircareforum.com/member.php?u=72953 said:
Mai Tai[/URL];18335413"]Serious question @NOEChic...Why can't you be bothered?
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Not NOEChic but I totally get not being bothered to wear nail polish. I only just started to be interested in it but I am not yet into bright colors but go for the "hardly there" shades because I can't stand to see color on my own nails. Black has surprised me though even though it did not last a week. I was back to my "barely there" shades.

Anyway, I don't have kids and don't do a lot of hobbies I like out of sheer laziness yet the time it takes polish to dry is so time consuming to me. I find even with drying spray, it takes about an hour or two of being handicapped and idle for nails to dry. I manage to get it done while on PC or watching a show but the fact that I can do nothing with my hands (not even redo my twist or scratch an itch) is so annoying to me.

Also having grown up with a food hygienist who taught institutiona management like my mom, I have heard of horror stories of nail polish chipping into food so I was brought up to not handle food with polish. So I wear gloves when cleaning or marinating food just to be on the safe side.

Another reason I personally wear polish is simply for the armor it gives my nails. I like long nails and I feel they are protected under polish. Otherwise if my nails were strong on their own and pretty without polish, I would not bother. The time I waste doing nails could be spent doing calligraphy, sewing, learning a new craft.

These were my nails w/o polish:

martingnailsaftersoakinginEVOO-vi.png


I believe I had clear polish here:

20130324_180150-vi.jpg


They^^ are not as cute as they are when polished but just one coat of a sheer polish makes them beautiful to me as seen here:

20130318_125633-vi.jpg


20130407_1848291-vi.jpg


So trust, if I could have my nails strong and looking like that last pic without polish, I would never use polish.

I hate hard work and doing nails is a chore I would be happy not to need. Right now I feel I need polish for strength and to bring out the beauty in my nails. If I can get rid of those horizontal lines seen in bare nails and have nails tough as my hubby's I would be like NOEchic. And if I had kids, I don't think long nails would even be a hobby. I have so much free time now and I already find doing nails a pain.

ETA: Sorry to bore you all but just wanted to show off another pic of how my beautiful nails look with a "hardly there" polish job--or should I say "natural look" :grin: If @NOEChic's nails look like this and are strong, I would beg her never to wear polish coz IMO these are hawt, even though I do say so myself. :look:

MyNailsAug2004-vi.jpg
 
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I would be so lost without my nail techs. Try Craigslist or a beauty school. Beauty schools expose the most talented people. I find that most students have been doing cosmetological procedures for years just without a license.

EverythingOldIsNew said:
Good nail salons are very hard to find here. I'd love a good nail lady.
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I thought about this thread today on the train where I saw a few grown women barefaced. Nothing's wrong with that but I have dark marks and going barefaced isn't an option for me right now. It's always concealer, powder, and gloss.

I won't say everyone needs makeup but who doesn't look better with it? It enhances your looks. You could go barefaced but you'll look more put together with it.

With regards to makeup and career, I know a girl who is always barefaced but is successful and makes $$$$. She does have nice skin though.

I never do my nails though. :look:
 
These threads usually go left because people turn the topic into I don't need make-up because I'm beautiful without it. Funny that this thread is the reverse and there is so much shade coming our (barefaced) way. Maybe you're just evening the score? :lol: I mean I can understand the notion that dateless women need to try something different but it's weird to extend that idea to all women who don't wear make-up miss opportunities or aren't grown women or are homely/ugly/plain.

Yes I do 100% agree that make-up makes you look better. Yet I don't wear it because I simply don't want to and it's nothing more than that. We're just all different and prefer different things. I think all of you who wear make-up are beautiful and I can appreciate your preferences from a distance. I'm not secretly saying in my head you all wear make-up because you're ugly without it; I don't wear being barefaced as a badge of rebellion/natural beauty or some sort. I'm just doing me. I wish this wasn't such a hot topic.
 
This is so interesting. I was just talking to a girlfriend about make-up and attractiveness. Besides lip gloss and mascara, I don't wear make-up. I'm 33. I have nothing against wearing make-up. I grew up hanging out in the bathroom, watching my mom put it on and I've always thought it was beautiful! I've just never bought it. TBH, I have no idea how to apply concealer, foundation, powder, etc. I mean, I've seen it on YT, but I wouldn't know where to start, lol! In spite of this, I feel fine. I don't feel "unattractive" but I agree that make-up would enhance what I have. Maybe one day :).

Regarding the original topic: I agree that being in shape, taking care of your hair, having great style and a great personality works wonders.

JMHO :).
 
Zaynab said:
True Men don't notice makeup unless it's garish and loud. Men also say they "don't like makeup" then are fawning over the very same chicks who are 'made up'. I never have listened to a man that says "I don't like makeup". Oh Ok. :rolleyes::lol:
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True, I think most men when men say they don't like make up, they are really saying:
"I don't like loud make up"
"She takes too long to put on make up"
"Make up costs too much"
"I don't want make up to end up on me"
 
SuchaLady said:
I'm just here for the giggles :giggle: No one is going to convince me that a bareface is a hindrance to daily life. Why is it okay for a woman to say "I like to be polished" but not okay to say "I like to be natural"? Not wearing makeup does not equate to being anti makeup. Most :look: people in this thread never mentioned thinking they were better/are more natural than others because they don't wear it but for some reason that's what it translates to.
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Because thank you is just not enough! :yep:
 
locabouthair said:
I thought about this thread today on the train where I saw a few grown women barefaced. Nothing's wrong with that but I have dark marks and going barefaced isn't an option for me right now. It's always concealer, powder, and gloss.

I won't say everyone needs makeup but who doesn't look better with it? It enhances your looks. You could go barefaced but you'll look more put together with it.

With regards to makeup and career, I know a girl who is always barefaced but is successful and makes $$$$. She does have nice skin though.

I never do my nails though. :look:
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I know some women who are quite successful in their careers without makeup too. But I don't doubt that they would make a better, more professional impression with some properly applied, work appropriate makeup. Especially since most of the women that they work with would not dream of showing up for work barefaced.
 
Physical Attraction things that can be worked on.
1.Weight- maintain normal weight for height and bone structure.
2.Makeup-light natural application
3.Eyebrows-shaped and regularly maintain
4.Hairstyle-current and easy to keep up
5.Nails-shaped and manicured
6.Skin- clear particularly visible skin
7.Clothes-clean, well fitted…
8.verbal, visual and vocal communication
9.mouth-teeth that is clean and fresh breath
10.Surrounding uncluttered and organized
 
I'm going to be honest. The reason why I don't wear a full face of makeup (opposed to eye liner, shadow and mascara) is because of ignorance. I don't think I'd apply concealer, foundation, etc correctly. I'm afraid of looking a hot mess. I JUST started to wear eye liner, shadow and mascara about a year ago. It took me a few months to get the hang of it. I try to keep my skin as clear as possible, but let's face it, breakouts are a way a life. It's on those particular days that I wish I could conceal those marks.

The only reason why I don't wear eye liner and the other mentioned enhancements DAILY is because I hate the process of washing it off my face. I used to wear pencil eye liner, but liquid gives me that BOLDER look. It takes a little while longer to wash off and after about three days in a row, my eye area gets a little sore.

Here's another honest moment, I don't wear make all the time because I am lazy. :) Yeah, yeah, yeah I look alright bare faced but I definitely feel more attractive and confident with my eye liner.
 
RocStar I know this thread died but what would you recommend for someone that doesn't want a full face? Just curious. I always wondered what people had in mind when they say it doesn't have to be a full face.


RocStar said:
The only thing I have to add to this thread is that wearing makeup does not have to mean you have a full face on at all times. It is supposed to enhance your looks...it does not cover up your (lack of) looks. 24 inch spider lashes and clown rouge does not enhance anyone's look.

I guess I am saying there are two extremes. Those who won't even groom their eyebrows, versus those who wear drag makeup to work. There is a middle ground.
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SuchaLady said:
RocStar I know this thread died but what would you recommend for someone that doesn't want a full face? Just curious. I always wondered what people had in mind when they say it doesn't have to be a full face.
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It depends on your skin and the look you want. Something to give the skin a flawless finish. It can be tinted moisturizer, foundation, or some type of powder. I personally use a very lightweight mineral powder foundation. My face is still seen through the foundation, you can still see my freckles and other imperfections, it just has a more even finish. A tinted moisturizer can be great because it can serve as a spf, moisturizer, and light coverage.

Here is what I do:
spf moisturizer
lightweight powder foundation
brushing brows and fill in as needed
eye liner (for work I prefer brown/black)
mascara (for work I prefer brown/black)
something light on the cheeks
lipstick/lipgloss

During the day for work I like the no-makeup look. I clearly have make up on, but the colors are neutral, application is light, and when you walk towards me it doesn't scream MAKEUP.
 
I'm curious what is considered wearing makeup??? Where is the line drawn??

Some days I leave the house with just my brows filled in and some clear lipgloss...but I bought those Items in the makeup section, so I am still wearing makeup, right?

Or do you have to wear foundation, powder, blush, eyeliner, eye shadow, and colored lipstick/gloss in order to be considered wearing makeup??

And even if people who claim to not wear makeup did not say they felt they were more beautiful because they did not need makeup, it has been said many times in previous threads, so it doesn't have to be said this time to be taken that way by some posters...
 
This is a great reminder to get my brows done tomorrow. :lol: I love make up and wish I could find the right hot pink, red and burgundy shades of lipstick, but I think I just don't look good with a strong lip. :ohwell: Daily (except this morning because I worked out this morning and was too sweaty after my shower to put any on), I wear light make up:

- BB cream
- brown eyeliners
- black mascara
- blush (sometimes)
- lip gloss

If I'm dressing up for something, I will use powder make up over the BB cream, eye shadow (purples, golds and browns are my go to) and lip gloss. I'm not a make up expert by any means, but ex-SO loves my made up look. While I'm always attractive to him, when I make up my face he thinks I look stunning, which is the goal. He didn't get that look everyday so it was special. :yep:
 
Nelli04 said:
Some days I leave the house with just my brows filled in and some clear lipgloss...but I bought those Items in the makeup section, so I am still wearing makeup, right?
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Yea you are. People can continue to delude themselves all they want

"it's just lip gloss"

yea ok.
 
SuchaLady said:
What are the details of your siggy Priss Pot?
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This look was really quick, maybe like 7 minutes. That day I had on MUFE Face & Body foundation, which is really sheer and barely any coverage, but it has enough to slightly even out the skin. I had on Covergirl Lash Blast mascara and some lipgloss. Oh yeah, I also filled in my brows as well with a pencil.
 
Pretty skin and all. I wonder why she's using makeup since you know only people who NEED it use it :rolleyes:

:lol:

Lovely as usually Priss. :yep:
 
FelaShrine said:
Pretty skin and all. I wonder why she's using makeup since you know only people who NEED it use it :rolleyes:

:lol:

Lovely as usually Priss. :yep:
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You have a problem with people saying that, but have no problem saying that all women NEED makeup regardless how they feel about their face and skin.
 
evsbaby said:
This article reminds me of a lady who is 6'2", looks horsey and is ungainly. Every time I see her I wonder if there is someone out there for her. I know she is trying to find a mate but is finding it difficult. No amount of makeup can help her....
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Sounds like my gyno who married last year. I'm pretty sure her husband is just as awkward as she is.
 
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