He Wants To Have A Meet Up?

G

greenmetro99

Well-Known Member
Good Afternoon Ladies,
How do you feel when a man asks you to meet up or have coffee?

I meet guys online and offline now, and many guys ask me to have coffee. Some just say meet up. What is a meet up? Is that when you just meet in person and say hi lol and then drive off?? I still cant figure out what they mean lol. Or are they trying to go on a quick dutch date?

One guy I personally know offline texts and tries to call me all of the time, but he doesn't want to take me on a date, except for coffee. So I stopped responding. I don't want to waste my time. He claims he wants a relationship, but only wants to meet up for a hug or Starbucks. No thanks. I'm not that desperate!

Anyhow, I tell them they can take me on a date. I do not do coffee dates or meet ups. A date can cost 10 dollars or 100 dollar, just be creative with planning. Pick a place and time. I'm in my 30's so meeting up doesn't sound like something that I want to do.

What are your thoughts?
 
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I would guess if they're meeting a significant amount of women on dating sites, they want to meet in person at a coffee shop or something to get a feel for the person and then plan a dinner date after that. It can get expensive to keep taking woman after women out to dinner only to find that you aren't compatible at all. Plus getting dressed up, coordinating times to meet, etc.

A low key coffee date for a first meeting doesn't seem unreasonable to me. You meet, have coffee, ice cream, dessert, whatever. If you like each other you can go on a proper date.

I'd rather them do that than to chat or text forever before asking to meet. The guy should still be paying, no matter what kind of outing it is.
 
LostInAdream said:
Are you interested in these men?

Typically, going to Starbucks or for coffee is a quick meet up for an initial meeting. It's a way to just gauge interest/ compatibility and then an actual date can take place.
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What about for guys That I already know? I have guys that Ive met in real life invite me on coffee dates.

I don't mind going out for a quick drink in the evening hours at a lounge. But meeting a guy after work to drink caffeine and probably driving 15 minutes to do so doesn't sound like fun.
 
I don't see anything wrong with meeting up to go to Starbucks or any other coffee shop to meet up with a guy you have interest in. Personally, I feel that's a good way to weed out who you'd like to get to know better and who you'd rather not go on a date with. I don't see the harm in it. And I don't think accepting a coffee invitation makes you look desperate (unless you don't drink coffee or tea :look: ).
 
Godsdaughter001 said:
I don't see anything wrong with meeting up to go to Starbucks or any other coffee shop to meet up with a guy you have interest in. Personally, I feel that's a good way to weed out who you'd like to get to know better and who you'd rather not go on a date with. I don't see the harm in it. And I don't think accepting a coffee invitation makes you look desperate (unless you don't drink coffee or tea :look: ).
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I'm not a caffeine drinker at all. Especially after work. Im trying to take a nap after work, not drink coffee haha
 
If a man says lets meetup at a coffee shop...vs let's meetup at this nice restaurant. What is the difference? It seems like you just care about the actual place that he is taking you to. I would focus less on the terminology and just ask straight up where do you want to take me? And then decide from there. When I was online dating, I've done meetups...especially when we didn't get to know each other over the phone. So I would meet with them for a drink after work....or at a public spot...or something to get a feel for each other. And then if we vibed, we would go on a more of a one on one type of real date. Like another poster said...there are a lot of guys online who just like to meetup first or get to know you in person. So they do these quick meetings with you.

greenmetro99 said:
I am willing to get to know these men, but my interest isn't high enough to interrupt my day to meet up. I was just trying to see how other ladies feel about the topic. I know im not going to do it.
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well maybe this is why you're not feeling it...because you aren't feeling the men. I would just accept meetup dates with men you're actually interested in seeing.
 
greenmetro99 said:
Good Afternoon Ladies,
How do you feel when a man asks you to meet up or have coffee?

I meet guys online and offline now, and many guys ask me to have coffee. Some just say meet up. What is a meet up? Is that when you just meet in person and say hi lol and then drive off?? I still cant figure out what they mean lol. Or are they trying to go on a quick dutch date?

One guy I personally know offline texts and tries to call me all of the time, but he doesn't want to take me on a date, except for coffee. So I stopped responding. I don't want to waste my time. He claims he wants a relationship, but only wants to meet up for a hug or Starbucks. No thanks. I'm not that desperate!

Anyhow, I tell them they can take me on a date. I do not do coffee dates or meet ups. A date can cost 10 dollars or 100 dollar, just be creative with planning. Pick a place and time. I'm in my 30's so meeting up doesn't sound like something that I want to do.

What are your thoughts?
Click to expand...
You are in the right track. Guys don't want to invest and put in too much work anymore. We gotta demand more.
 
I hate coffee shops so much its unbelievable but everyone always invites me to them -_- I'm not single now but just generally when people invite me for coffee my heart sinks. To others, they love it though.

Date wise I think it's probably a benefit in some cases to the woman to do a quick meet also because if it doesn't click at least you can get away in 30-45 mins instead of 2hrs plus. < When you've never met the person before.
 
greenmetro99 said:
What about for guys That I already know? I have guys that Ive met in real life invite me on coffee dates.

I don't mind going out for a quick drink in the evening hours at a lounge. But meeting a guy after work to drink caffeine and probably driving 15 minutes to do so doesn't sound like fun.
Click to expand...

It's the same they are trying to gauge your/ their interest.

Do you know them romantically? Or did you meet them organically?

Maybe they want to talk in person but not an official date because you may shoot them down. Or like a previous poster said it gets expensive dating and they want to be certain before theyll spend their money.
 
A meet up for coffee or tea is fine if they are first time meets offline. If you met him in person and it was a brief interaction where you exchanged numbers, coffee/tea still seems ok. If you met at an event and/or spent a significant amount of time together before he asks you out, it should be an actual date.

In none of these scenarios should you be going out of your way to meet them though. Not driving long distances or anything of the sort.
 
For online dating, coffee makes sense. Maybe if they invited you for cocktails or happy hour? Would that sound more interesting?

Honestly, they're just looking for neutral place where you can have a conversation. It sounds like you're getting hung up on terminology. And if you have time for a full date, shouldn't you have time for a drink?
 
I do meet ups- just because I don't know if the chemistry will translate in person. Some guys look better in their photos. But come to think of it, my last two long term relationships were with guys that I went to dinner with and didn't "meet up". I met them online but our first meeting was a full meal so I don't know... maybe it does make a difference
 
nope. I hate the" lets meet for a coffee" I see it as lazy and kinda cheap. I've been to a few and I've had to cut the date short; they were that bad (one told me about the spreadsheet he has of the women hes slept wit because he's bad at remembering names). 95% of the first online dates I've been on have been drinks (mostly), dinner or an activity . It's a shame for the guys when I reject any further dates but its great for me! LOL I've been to some amazing bars, restaurants, opera, movies etc etc

Before going on any date I learnt that seeing 4/5 pics and at least 30min phone time will tell me if it will have potential past date 1.
 
cocomochaa said:
nope. I hate the" lets meet for a coffee" I see it as lazy and kinda cheap. I've been to a few and I've had to cut the date short; they were that bad (one told me about the spreadsheet he has of the women hes slept wit because he's bad at remembering names). 95% of the first online dates I've been on have been drinks (mostly), dinner or an activity .
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See, I kind of think that's the point of the coffee dates because if the (online) person is bat schit crazy, the other person isn't "stuck" in a two hour movie or activity with them. Although, technically, you could leave at any time...but the coffee date is a softer rejection, lol.

Now for offline, I feel the two people should have a lot better understanding of each other and their vibes. You probably know a few people in common and safety issues aren't as high. Dude needs to take her on a real date.
 
BEAUTYU2U said:
See, I kind of think that's the point of the coffee dates because if the (online) person is bat schit crazy, the other person isn't "stuck" in a two hour movie or activity with them. Although, technically, you could leave at any time...but the coffee date is a softer rejection, lol.

Now for offline, I feel the two people should have a lot better understanding of each other and their vibes. You probably know a few people in common and safety issues aren't as high. Dude needs to take her on a real date.
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I guess it depends on what stage of life you're in. When i was just dating to date, , the experience was probably more exciting than the guy :yep:. One of which was the guy who got us front row tickets to the Jodeci/Dru Hill/SWV/Blackstreet Concert for our first date It was amaazzinggg!!! But i did not want a second date for him to try and kiss me nah.

So yeah i guess it weeds out the crap better if you JUST want to date for a bae.
 
I have always met for a nice dinner. Obviously, I like them enough to eat with, or I wouldn't bother meeting at all. Some of you guys are really helping me out a lot, If these men have enough $2 coffee dates and netflix and chills in life, they should have enough saved to spring for my $50 dinner.
 
Bunnyhaslonghair said:
I would give them one coffee date if we met online. The second meeting needs to be a proper outing. If I met them in person, no coffee meet. It needs to be a real date. Unless your initial interaction was SUPER brief.
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Will do!!!!! This one guy im referring to has been a person that I know in real life that only wants coffee dates. I stop responding and told him to call me when he plans a real date. Its been 2 months later, and still no plan for a date!
 
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Sumra said:
I hate coffee shops so much its unbelievable but everyone always invites me to them -_- I'm not single now but just generally when people invite me for coffee my heart sinks. To others, they love it though.

Date wise I think it's probably a benefit in some cases to the woman to do a quick meet also because if it doesn't click at least you can get away in 30-45 mins instead of 2hrs plus. < When you've never met the person before.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the input . I can see the benefit of having a super quick date just to get the gist of a person. But after 20 minutes I would have to escape, even if I like the fella. He cant have my hour for 1 cup of coffee. I prefer to be home watching Netflix :drunk:
 
Gin&Tonic said:
I have always met for a nice dinner. Obviously, I like them enough to eat with, or I wouldn't bother meeting at all. Some of you guys are really helping me out a lot, If these men have enough $2 coffee dates and netflix and chills in life, they should have enough saved to spring for my $50 dinner.
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LMAO, I hear you girl!
 
cocomochaa said:
I guess it depends on what stage of life you're in. When i was just dating to date, , the experience was probably more exciting than the guy :yep:. One of which was the guy who got us front row tickets to the Jodeci/Dru Hill/SWV/Blackstreet Concert for our first date It was amaazzinggg!!! But i did not want a second date for him to try and kiss me nah.

So yeah i guess it weeds out the crap better if you JUST want to date for a bae.
Click to expand...

I'm dating trying to find a long term relationship and hopefully a husband. I'm in my 30's and established....and I be tired after work. SO any free time I have is valuable. I cant waste it going on random dates, driving to meet up, for the infamous coffee. Ive done it a few times in the past, and it wasn't a great experience. In the past, The guys that took me on dates seem more serious. I should have settled for one of them lol
 
I prefer coffee dates or similar meet ups when I don't know someone well, like if I met them online or we exchanged numbers quickly in person, but we haven't conversed much. If I'm not feeling them, I can bounce quickly. I've been on many a dinner date where I was bored to tears. I'd rather go to dinner with a man who piques my interest
 
cocomochaa said:
nope. I hate the" lets meet for a coffee" I see it as lazy and kinda cheap. I've been to a few and I've had to cut the date short; they were that bad (one told me about the spreadsheet he has of the women hes slept wit because he's bad at remembering names). 95% of the first online dates I've been on have been drinks (mostly), dinner or an activity . It's a shame for the guys when I reject any further dates but its great for me! LOL I've been to some amazing bars, restaurants, opera, movies etc etc

Before going on any date I learnt that seeing 4/5 pics and at least 30min phone time will tell me if it will have potential past date 1.
Click to expand...

Im use to going out to dinner as well. I like to talk to men on the phone about 3 or 4 times before I agree to a date. And I have definitely learned that it is important to see lots of pictures and full body shots!

But for the men that I meet online, that quickly ask me out for coffee before chatting with me or a phone call...I cant do it! They dont even want to chat to see what I'm about. They are just in a rush to see me in person and for cheap. They seem impatient!
 
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