He loves me or lust for me....

nc cutie

nc cutie

Active Member
He used to be in like with me...
.he hugged me and when other men are around he sits near me. It's like he is marking the territory. This is at work. We are coworkers. I was going on a date when he told me if I need anything .....let him know
He later asked me what if someone had something so good,u couldn't live without it. I replied ....I don't share my sandwiches meaning ....I don't do nonexclusive relationships. I then told him I was celibate. Now he just stares at me for a long time before he talks to me or he tells me to go he needs to work. The other day when all the men in the break room where talking to me he moved beside me. I think he has someone but we have a powerful attraction. I want to do bad things with him but we both pretend we don't. Everybody else sees it. All the women want him but he pays them no mind. Should I act or ignore this fire .....

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Ignore...........

Why would you think he loves you when ya'll arent even together outside of work? And you say he has someone else!? Dont let him make you his 'work wife'.....
 
Just a title to make u look...but I feel u on the work wife thing....I don't want to be that. So u think I should just ignore him? I don't know why he is getting to me. I have ignored others in the past....that is why I have been celibate so long.

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nc cutie
Getting involved with someone at work can be perceived as unprofessional and it also can be messy. I think you need to exercise some precautions in this scenario, seriously.

However, I am curious as to why you told him you were celibate? You two are engaging in conversations like this at work?

What do you know about this man? What other kinds of discussions have you had with him?

Do you know where he lives? His educational background? If he eats hot or cold cereal? What he does or where he goes after work?

Do you see where I'm going with this?....
 
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I get the feeling that these posts are going to change anything (hoping I'm wrong because I see pure disaster). OP let us know how it turns out...
 
OP....Please ignore this work mate.

For several reasons that others have mentioned:

1) He has someone
2) Work "relationships" can be messy to say the least...What if you two got together & then broke up?? :ohwell:

and I'll add a THIRD reason....
3) This guy only seems to come to you when OTHER men seem interested/around you...but yet "ignores" you or tells you to go away when he's alone w/you. :nono:

I'm sorry....but I've been through a BAD experience like this, where a guy friend only basically wanted to keep me on his BACKburner "just in case" and always treated me as a second option in his back pocket. :nono: He would do the same thing you mention this guy is doing (ie. "marking" his territory, would get "jealous" whenever other guys would flirt with me, would usually only pay me attention when it seemed like I was losing interest in him, etc.), but yet would pretty much ignore me or treat me poorly whenever I was free and available to really to make something happen with him.

Case in point...I learned my lesson well. Please DON'T get involved with a man like this. :nono: He doesn't even seem "available" to make something happen with you. Even if there is a deep attraction between the two of you, he seems to already have someone that he's seeing, so any "attraction" that you two might feel can't even really be acted upon in an honest way. Please save yourself the heartache and forget about this co-worker for right now. I think that a man who is TRULY into you will want to be w/you ALL the time...not simply when he feels like other men are around you.
 
In a word........lust.

I'm sure all the guys at work know he's trying to work his way "in", but it's nothing serious because he has someone.
 
nc cutie said:
He used to be in like with me...
.he hugged me and when other men are around he sits near me. It's like he is marking the territory. This is at work. We are coworkers. I was going on a date when he told me if I need anything .....let him know
He later asked me what if someone had something so good,u couldn't live without it. I replied ....I don't share my sandwiches meaning ....I don't do nonexclusive relationships. I then told him I was celibate. Now he just stares at me for a long time before he talks to me or he tells me to go he needs to work. The other day when all the men in the break room where talking to me he moved beside me. I think he has someone but we have a powerful attraction. I want to do bad things with him but we both pretend we don't. Everybody else sees it. All the women want him but he pays them no mind. Should I act or ignore this fire .....

Sent from my LG-P509 using LG-P509
Click to expand...

Ok this all sounds like Game to me.
And what the heck is the bolded supposed to mean? ***** please. Anyway after telling him youre celibate, I can only assess that the stares are because he's thinking hard, trying to penetrate you and see if he can break your celebacy, get you open, etc.

As far as his moving beside you in the break room around all those other men, he's probably thinking he dont want nobody breaking up that celibacy but HIM.
 
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I do..know those things...his family. But I was getting carried away. We work in a very laid back atmosphere..tv. I needed this advice to slap some sense in my head. Thanks ladies!



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hopeful said:
I wouldn't discuss being cellibate with anyone at work.
Click to expand...
Yup, sex life, politics and religion is a NO NO in the work place regardless of where you work.

I honestly don't understand why you gave it a second thought. He will continue to start mess until you shut him down and mean it.
 
nc cutie said:
I do..know those things...his family. But I was getting carried away. We work in a very laid back atmosphere..tv. I needed this advice to slap some sense in my head. Thanks ladies!



Sent from my LG-P509 using LG-P509
Click to expand...

Well, it's better for us to slap some sense into your head than he slap a paynus on your head, start confusion on your job and then having you slap yourself upside your head for giving into lust...:yep:
 
Go get a fire extinguisher, point it at your crotch, and pull the trigger.

Okay, LOL. You can bypass that step if you want. Avoid this man. Say, "Hello," and, "Goodbye," but that's it! He is fire and you will get burned.
 
Windsy said:
Well, it's better for us to slap some sense into your head than he slap a paynus on your head, start confusion on your job and then having you slap yourself upside your head for giving into lust...:yep:
Click to expand...



i literally put my head down and shook my head. this makes me want to cry laughing. :lol: just....shut...up windsy. :lol::lol::lol:
 
ChasingBliss said:
Ok this all sounds like Game to me.
And what the heck is the bolded supposed to mean? ***** please. Anyway after telling him youre celibate, I can only assess that the stares are because he's thinking hard, trying to penetrate you and see if he can break your celebacy, get you open, etc.

As far as his moving beside you in the break room around all those other men, he's probably thinking he dont want nobody breaking up that celibacy but HIM.
Click to expand...

All of THIS.
 
First off, are you certain he has someone? You need to ask him directly and you need to find out what his intentions are.

I personally have never dated someone I worked with, however I work in a hotel with over 600 associates. Several are married to each other and or dating. Drama occurs if you allow it. Set ground rules and go from there.
 
go dump some ice down ya panties right now! :lachen: but yeah, don't go there, it could end up really bad. don't ever get in the car with him to go to lunch or give/get a ride home! You Hear Me! NEVER!
 
Windsy - slap a penis upside da head? *hollerin* ahahah!!! Sumfin wrong witchu chile.....wooooo lawd!

But'r uh before I light up a newport one hunnit, I need some background info. How long have you two dated, do you communicate outside of work, been to his crib....give us some stats. Break it down for us cuz u aint tellin everything.....
 
you are right! i think something else happened! :lachen:

ThatJerseyGirl said:
Windsy - slap a penis upside da head? *hollerin* ahahah!!! Sumfin wrong witchu chile.....wooooo lawd!

But'r uh before I light up a newport one hunnit, I need some background info. How long have you two dated, do you communicate outside of work, been to his crib....give us some stats. Break it down for us cuz u aint tellin everything.....
Click to expand...
 
I once worked with someone who dated a fellow employee, and no one in the entire company had the slightest inkling of their relationship until his name was recognized on the wedding invitations. Then again, a relationship of that kind requires that both parties adhere to a strict code of conduct that most people would have great difficulty sticking with (e.g., no hugging, kissing, hand holding or other physical intimacies, lunch dates, frequent telephone calls, traveling to and from work together, etc.).

However, I would advise that you not waste any more of your energy considering this cornball given that line he tried to pass off (dudes that feel the need to imitate Hallmark cards and/or lonely prison inmates are a personal pet peeve. What’s next? Composing an ode or haiku in your honor?).
 
PJaye said:
I once worked with someone who dated a fellow employee, and no one in the entire company had the slightest inkling of their relationship until his name was recognized on the wedding invitations. Then again, a relationship of that kind requires that both parties adhere to a strict code of conduct that most people would have great difficulty sticking with (e.g., no hugging, kissing, hand holding or other physical intimacies, lunch dates, frequent telephone calls, traveling to and from work together, etc.).

However, I would advise that you not waste any more of your energy considering this cornball given that line he tried to pass off (dudes that feel the need to imitate Hallmark cards and/or lonely prison inmates are a personal pet peeve. What’s next? Composing an ode or haiku in your honor?).
Click to expand...

:lachen::lachen:
So true, what a turnoff that is! It just comes off as pure bullsh*t to me lol, I could never fall for a guy who used such a line.

OP, have you two been out yet? Do you know he has someone else or just assuming. If he doesn't have someone else I can assume that he would have asked you out by now and that his reason for not asking you out is that he's taken. He's going to keep trying to get the drawers and unless you plan on giving them to him shut this down right away.
 
Tis shut ......he just offered me a drink ....at work .....LOL. we have never been out....he asked me.....to go to the club with him. No thanks .....today he said I was like his sister .......what a wishy washy weirdo!

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Lucie said:
Go get a fire extinguisher, point it at your crotch, and pull the trigger.

Okay, LOL. You can bypass that step if you want. Avoid this man. Say, "Hello," and, "Goodbye," but that's it! He is fire and you will get burned.
Click to expand...

LOL! I will jump in a pool tommorow! I guess I got caught up. All the ladies in the other building want him....they are welcome to him.

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Honestly OP, everything has already been said. I wouldn't even say anything else to him that's not work-related. He's playing games and he's just not that into you. I could delve deeper into what I think it is, but it unnecessary.

Also, I think you're getting caught up because you're trying to make something out of nothing because he appears to be giving you attention and NOT these other women. It's not worth the drama to take it there because you'll end up getting hurt more than anyone. It's a lose-lose-lose situation...so lose all your thoughts about him and keep it strictly professional with him from now on. That way, IF he's really feeling you, he'll ask you out OR he'll leave you alone.

That sister comment is all the confirmation you should need. He's not a weirdo, he's just hoping you're not up on his game. Don't fall for it!
 
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