my ex still loves me...

[cocoberry10]

I'm glad you spoke with him, and I'm glad he was honest. I would take it slow. There's no harm in continuing to speak with him, but don't make any promises. And be up front with him that you aren't promising him that you will be together, you are just seeing where you both are in life. I'm sure he will understand (and I assume this means he will understand if you want to date other people, he will have to accept that, until you decide if you think he's the one). Don't lead him on. He seems like a delicate soul, and I think there aren't a lot of guys like that anymore. At the same time, don't be with him out of guilt (which is what your first post sounded like). In time, you will know if this relationship has potential or not. Don't pressure yourself to go either way, and don't let him pressure you. If at the end of the day, you realize he's not the one, be honest (but gentle) with him. As much as he's already been through, he doesn't need someone to lie to him. PM me if you want to talk offline! Good luck!

I talked with him. He admitted when we were together he was going through a rough time with his family. He felt better being with me than at home or being alone. I made him feel better about himself and yada yada... He said he realized about 2 months after I broke it off with him the reason. He realized he ran me off with all the togetherness. I was feeling suffocated. He said he's better now but I'm not sure since I havent even seen him in almost 2 years. He has matured somewhat though.

I still feel like a lot of the stuff I think/feel about him is out of guilt though.

 

[Mena]

bumping...im still so confused about this
we have been talking a lot more lately

yesterday something scary happened and he was the first person i called....during the convo i was like i dont know why i called you first...and he was like because you love me umm i couldnt even say no but love? im confused erplexed

i guess i do have feelings for him but i havent seen him in 1.5 years ....last time i saw him the sexual attraction factor was not there on my part but other attactions were there

 

[Mena]

okay last night guy was talking about wanting to marry me still and have kids...i like him but how do you tell someone ....the only reasons you really have issues is because of class differences and you arent that attracted to them physically...i love his personality...hes a great person but i dunno...i tried telling him this before but i felt like i was being a snob...i dont think he full gets why i am umcomfortable...this stinks because he is like my best friend

 

[AmyInAtl]

He told me this last night. I totally believe him. He is the only person that has been with me through all my rough times. He would move heaven and earth to be with me. I like him too. I never had a connection with anyone else like I have had with him. The problem is I am not attracted to him. Also, he loves me wayyyy more than I love him. I still care for him though. I am kind of confused. He also told me he applied to law school in the city I live in. He lives 3000 miles away from me. hmmm what the hell do I do? I dont feel right getting back with him because I feel like he deserves someone that will love him more than I do. I still do care for him though. on the other hand....I feel like I should get with him because til this day I never met anyone who cared for me like him...what to do?

So basically, he's not attractive enough, for you to find appealing, but has alot of positive traits, let's you do whatever, turn himself into superman, a shoulder to cry on, and potential cash cow.

A.Why not let the relationship grow, maybe you can grow past his gruesomeness, j/k, I mean looks, and true love may bloom.

B. Lie, and say you are not ready for a relationship, cause all those traits he has, turns you off, not to mention the looks.

C. Throw on some blinders, practice mind control, and tell yourself, he finer than Allen Payne.

D. Be honest and tell the frogster, to hop-a-long, j/k.

E. String him along, and if he lawyers up, marry him, have 2.5 kids, and then divorce him, hollywood style, straight at the cleaners, lol, j/k.

Well, no one can make a definite decision but you, why don't you post a pic, and then we can vote for you, on how bad his gruesomeness is, oops, I mean unattractive he is.

Epiphany: ugly+potential, is better than fione-w/o a dime.

Hope I made you laugh.

 

[Theo]

I have feeling that you actually do care about him a lot, but that your issues have more to do with your insecurities than anything else.... especially since you mentioned class differences.

Are really just completely not attracted to him or are you afraid of what people will say if they see you with a conventionally unattractive man?