Going from intimate to abstinence.

[LiftedUp]

I just feel like it's having your cake and eating it too. Like if you already have that foundation where you believe in God and know the teachings - why start going against it if that foundation is able to dictate your life with months or in a year or so? Your flesh was able to take over. Then you feel bad and decide to change it up and now you are saved.

Yes it's that's simple.

We aren't perfect beings, we falter. So you stop and start over again and that's fine . It doesn't change/undo what has happened, but you are allowed to make different choices in the present as you go towards your future.

 

[LaBelleLL]

Yes it's that's simple. We aren't perfect beings, we falter. So you stop and start over again and that's fine . It doesn't change/undo what has happened, but you are allowed to make different choices in the present as you go towards your future.

Yes I do think it is....that linear in a way. I can't imagine it to be simple in practice though. Id imagine there is confusion and maybe fear that your partner may not be supportive. There is guilt too etc.

I just think in the end though, you've had your cake and ate it too which is like dag - I wish I could be like that!

 

[GoldenRule]

Isn't it odd, men choices. He wanted to marry " a good girl" or was it really something else.....he really was quite a bit older - mentally and chronological than you.

He was fine with her practicing abstinence, so it was something else that attracted or forced him to her.

Transformer I WAS a good girl...just a sexually active one...lol. I was a cops daughter...Stayed out of trouble, worked hard, studied hard. He was always bragging about having slept with "women from around the world". The other lady (although not really all that attractive) had silky hair and an accent. Whenever I would be frustrated with school or whatever he would say things that would lead me to believe that he wouldn't even consider dating someone who wasn't in school or with a degree. That girl didn't have a degree. She didn't even speak the language quite well yet. Dude dug exoticality -- another lesson I'm glad to have learned early on. Men have different requirements for different women. If you're nappy, you need a Masters. If you have long hair and an accent, they'll work a second job for ya ;-)

Okokok. I'm being a hater now. I've long since stopped thinking about those folks. I've had a fabulous life. Truly. And it's things like that situation that got me there.

 

[C@ssandr@]

When you take the religious aspect out of abstinence, it still makes sense because sex does cloud a woman's judgement.

In some of the poster's arguments, there does sound like a bit of guilt attached to the notions of doing what "God is calling" you to do. The tricky part is one can be devoted to god, but oftentimes that rlshp is riddled with guilt as opposed to respect of his Law.

I think that's where it is all getting murky. In short, the reasons for abstinence that are stated in this thread sound like there are other issues aside from "not being right with the lord".

 

[Mortons]

I dont see the point. I dont think you can mentally erase the sexual part of a relationship you have been in. I also think its hard to do this without one partner feeling slighted.