From B.e.t.: In 2017, Are Men Expected To Pay For Dates?

[weaveadiva]

.

.

https://www.bet.com/style/2017/05/12/are-men-suppose-still-pay-on-a-date-.html

I already know how (most of) LHCF feels on women paying, but some of these answers had me rolling Just wanted to share ...

According to the fellas:

“Women say they want to pay, but they not really trying pay.”

“Define a 'date.’ Because people just like free stuff.”


From the ladies:

“If I offer to pay and the bill is really expensive and he don’t chip in, I’ll pay but it **** sure will be the last time I see his ***.”

“Here is I feel about it; if I invite you — I expect to pay. But I honestly don’t expect to pay.”

“Do women really invite guys to date? That is just ridiculous.”

“To prove I’m not type of girl, I'll pay for a drink here or there. A whole date, though...? Is we in a relationship?”

“I am all about dominance and power. But I think we should go half on it. I want to see the guy get drunk — so they can tell me all their secrets — show me what type of person you are. I don’t care about the money. I just want to know if they serial killer first.”

 

[mrselle]

Chile....

 

[mensa]

Is this satire because I refuse to believe that this is real.

 

[ladysaraii]

that last one was funny to me

 

[PeaceLover]

 

[LdyKamz]

I will never understand how this has become a debate. Men talk a lot of crap online but when I go on dates or even when I see men out with other women they pull that wallet out without hesitation. I see it all the time. So who exactly are these men online that have something to say about this?

 

[LostInAdream]

I have never paid for a date. I almost bought tickets to a Denzel movie recently because it was at IPIC and those seats go fast. Winded up all the way in the front because I just couldn’t do it. I had a mild panic attack just thinking about it

 

[Gin&Tonic]

I wonder if my dates ever expect me to pay??
They can keep on wishing. I don't pay for anything. No drinks, No tip and if I meet him out he needs to pay for valet.

This should be a minimum expectation.

 

[intellectualuva]

That last comment

I've offered to pay and paid, but I never want to. Lol. I don't ever want to pay for anything....ever.

 

[GreenEyedJen]

I will never understand how this has become a debate. Men talk a lot of crap online but when I go on dates or even when I see men out with other women they pull that wallet out without hesitation. I see it all the time. So who exactly are these men online that have something to say about this?

They're the ones that are ONLY on the internet! These ninjas don't even go on dates to be talking.

I've actually paid for guys that I've been with for a minute and you can see the offense on their face. I'm moving in with my boyfriend in spring; like actually moving in, quitting my job and he still practically pushes me out the way if we go to Target for something I need, let alone doing traditional dating things like dinner or movies. In my head I'm like "Bruh, you don't even want me to spend this money while it's still coming in freely?" But on the outside I'm like I'll be in the car, babe.

 

[RoundEyedGirl504]

I never offer so I am never in the position to pay LOL

 

[shasha8685]

If a guy offers to take you on a date, then isn't the expectation that they pay for it as well?

I really need to know who raised these people.

 

[mensa]

I will never understand how this has become a debate. Men talk a lot of crap online but when I go on dates or even when I see men out with other women they pull that wallet out without hesitation. I see it all the time. So who exactly are these men online that have something to say about this?

Which is how it should be.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

According to the fellas:

 

[hopeful]

And the truth is IMO most men aren’t fun, interesting, or kind enough to not be paying. They need to pay to make it worth our time and energy, otherwise most of us would be just as happy deep conditioning our hair or watching our favorite show on tv.

 

[qchelle]

And the truth is IMO most men aren’t fun, interesting, or kind enough to not be paying. They need to pay to make it worth our time and energy, otherwise most of us would be just as happy deep conditioning our hair or watching our favorite show on tv.

Exactly lol

 

[gimbap]

What kills me is the amount of guys who swear up and down that women just want a free meal. As if we would *starve* if it wasn't for the meals we received during dates. Negro please

 

[hopeful]

What kills me is the amount of guys who swear up and down that women just want a free meal. As if we would *starve* if it wasn't for the meals we received during dates. Negro please

I swear so many of these men want to be women! Want to be courted and asked out on dates. I think they are pissed that they have to work for and pay for our time.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

Is this for real? Because I cannot.

 

[Honey Bee]

Men talk a lot of crap online but when I go on dates or even when I see men out with other women they pull that wallet out without hesitation. I see it all the time. So who exactly are these men online that have something to say about this?

They're the ones that are ONLY on the internet! These ninjas don't even go on dates to be talking.

 

[FlowerHair]

I’m of the opinion than if a man invites me to dinner at a restaurant he should pay.

The same if I invite someone to my house for dinner. I’m not gonna ask you to give me money for half of the groceries.

The emphasis is on who invited whome.

 

[LdyKamz]

...

 

[Seraphina]

.
According to the fellas:

“Women say they want to pay, but they not really trying pay.”

“Define a 'date.’ Because people just like free stuff.”

This right here is so dumb. Women can remedy the first quote by not pretending to want to pay. I don't.

The second is the very reason that men need to pay. A date is when you buy me dinner. You go on "dutch" dates and men are able to keep that line blurry. When he takes you out is when he proves he's interested.

It's really not complicated.

 

[IslandMummy]

I will never understand how this has become a debate. Men talk a lot of crap online but when I go on dates or even when I see men out with other women they pull that wallet out without hesitation. I see it all the time. So who exactly are these men online that have something to say about this?

They exist, but they wouldn’t be men you’re likely to accept a date from in the first place.

 

[chassiecrane]

I don't even have to pay the tab when I'm out with my male friends or co workers I wish I would reach for my wallet on a date...

 

[GetHappy2014]

When a guy invites me on a date... I interpret that as he is willing to pay for the outing. However, if I invited someone out I should expect to pay. HOWEVER, I don't ask dudes out on dates, ever. Therefore, I should not expect to pay, ever. If dude is not able to pay freely then he should not be asking ladies out on dates, he needs to be working his part-time gig.

 

[GraceJones]

I don't even have to pay the tab when I'm out with my male friends or co workers I wish I would reach for my wallet on a date...

I'm saying! I meet men that I don't even know at bars and if we start hanging out, they'll be like I got you. And they're not asking me to sleep with them afterwards.

Why am I going on a date and having to pay, and them have the guy ask to sleep with me as well?

Such a turn off. Last time you will see my face.

But a lot of these men who are asking you to pay are broke though. Most likely they are courting multiple women and can't afford to date them all.

 

[MzLady78]

I don't even have to pay the tab when I'm out with my male friends or co workers I wish I would reach for my wallet on a date...

I have a friend who always pays every time we hang, and we've been friends over a decade at this point. And we've been some expensive places.

If it's somewhere we frequent, they know not to even bother starting a separate tab for me.

 

[LdyKamz]

When a guy invites me on a date... I interpret that as he is willing to pay for the outing. However, if I invited someone out I should expect to pay. HOWEVER, I don't ask dudes out on dates, ever. Therefore, I should not expect to pay, ever. If dude is not able to pay freely then he should not be asking ladies out on dates, he needs to be working his part-time gig.

I still don't agree with this. If I am dating someone meaning 1 or 2 dates in and I am going somewhere and I invite him to come along that means that as a woman I have given him the privilege of attending something with me that I could have gone to by myself so he needs to make sure that I don't regret inviting him and make me want to keep seeing him. Example: One time I wanted to go to the bbq festival. I could have gone alone (in fact I think I probably went the day before with friends) but I looked at the roster and decided which guy I would "let" take me. The one I chose already knew that he was the lucky one that got to take me to a place I wanted to go and treat me and make me happy and that's exactly what he did. Paid for everything and took me to the movies after. This whole I invite you I pay rule does not apply to dating.

 

[LdyKamz]

This thread reminds me of a friend of mine. I may have mentioned him before. We were talking about dating once and he said that on a first date that the girl goes dutch with him. If he likes her then maybe he'll pay for the second date. I was making a stink face the whole time and he was like what's wrong? I told him point blank if I went out with him on a first date and he did that to me I would pay my money, kindly get a cab home and never ever call him again. He would be deleted and blocked. He said "Whyyyyyy?" like he had never heard such a reaction before. I was like you want this woman to prove she's worthy of you by paying for a meal??? Nah. And guess what? Once she pays and you decide you like her because of that she has already decided that you are out of the running for the very same reason. See how that works? At the time he was a typical mama's boy living at home in his 30's. He lives alone now and we do not discuss his dating like because I think he is gay. I swear I thought he was going to come out to me last year. And then I started thinking if he is gay then his attitude towards women and dating might make a little more sense. I started to feel like he didn't see these woman as romantic partners at all because I couldn't figure it out any other way. Funny thing is though when me and him went anywhere - even a quick run for lunch - homeboy always paid. So strange.