Frogkisses Is Finally Married :)

@frogkisses can I ask what about this guy made you decide to marry him? I don't follow your posts super closely, but you seem very vivacious and independent and enjoyed dating just for the fun of it. Was it your goal to get married or did he just come along and say all the right things? Sorry if it seems like I'm prying, it's not my intention to.
 
hunnychile said:
@frogkisses can I ask what about this guy made you decide to marry him? I don't follow your posts super closely, but you seem very vivacious and independent and enjoyed dating just for the fun of it. Was it your goal to get married or did he just come along and say all the right things? Sorry if it seems like I'm prying, it's not my intention to.
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No you're not prying. I'm a huge supporter of #teamhoe and I ALWAYS encourage women to date around and entertain multiple men (this doesn't necessarily mean sex lol). I say this because it helped me a lot. When I commit to someone it's an all or nothing type of commitment. I learned the hard way (devoting myself to a horrible relationship and man) that the type of commitment I give is special and more than often not reciprocated. So I stayed single and didn't have one date for about a year before deciding I just can't sit around and hope for my husband to come to me. But I also couldn't make a commitment because I was so scared I would make a mistake by committing again. I decided the only way to not make a mistake is to learn more about men. So I started dating heavily. Just meeting different men for no purpose other than to learn how men are (and to have fun). In those three years I probably met and dated 40 men. I'm a Scorpio so I am very good about keeping my emotions in check so that wasn't ever an issue. I made about 3 stalkers :lachen:and more than half were honestly so lame and I went to dinner once and blocked them. The other 20 had enough personality for me to actually want to know them. I learned so much. I figured out what I liked and what I hated. I saw how men act in a variety of situations and how they react. Drunk men will talk about anything lol I learned way to much to type but I kept a journal.
Now I'm a demanding broad and I know this lol but my dad raised me that way for a reason :lachen:
I took about six months off of dating and ghosted my current rotation. I was tired. I loved all the fun and free drinks, drugs, entertainment, gas money, one guy was paying my car note :look: but I knew enough.
I know pretty well after 10 minutes of talking to a man whether or not he is promising. I decided to put my knowledge of men to use. I want to get married. Everyone in my family was married by 19, and they are all together still. And my mom and all my aunties were #teamhoe :look:
Anyone I stopped going on useless dates. Instead of dating for knowledge on men as a whole, or for fun, I focused. I read Calling In the One.
I left my FWB :look:
But I met FH January 7. I tested him in many ways, he always passed. I've never had a red flag moment, because he covers me. Also he didn't say all the right things lol. I told him early on I don't listen to words, I listen to actions. I stated my intentions and he was in the right place in his life to accept and give this love. He loves me the way I want to be loved and I apparently love him the way he wants. I have never felt so secure. Anything I want for he gives me. A lot of things have been happening externally in both of our lives. When we see each other it all melts away. When I see him, problems seem so insignificant, together we can conquer. :)
 
Awwwww thank you @frogkisses! I am not interested in seriously dating but I do love studying human interactions and emotional intelligence. Specifically dating to learn seems like a great way to feed my curiosity (and my belly :look:) without feeling pressured to be "on." By the end of the date I will have gotten exactly what I went for so there's no sort of real effort or investment on my behalf. I'm already non-committal and investment-averse so this sounds like fun. :look: :yep:

Congratulations on your pending nuptials, dear. :kiss:
 
hunnychile said:
Awwwww thank you @frogkisses! I am not interested in seriously dating but I do love studying human interactions and emotional intelligence. Specifically dating to learn seems like a great way to feed my curiosity (and my belly :look:) without feeling pressured to be "on." By the end of the date I will have gotten exactly what I went for so there's no sort of real effort or investment on my behalf. I'm already non-committal and investment-averse so this sounds like fun. :look: :yep:

Congratulations on your pending nuptials, dear. :kiss:
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I was the same way.
I am very adverse to making commitments unless I feel I know all the parameters. After everything I know my FH very well. I even reached out to the board to see if I had missed anything (the quickest to get married thread). But I'm thorough :lachen:
 
You ladies are teaching me so much. I definitely want to date to learn and be okay with being straight savage. I spent a lot of time single just bettering myself, but some things can only be learned through human interaction. But Lord knows I hate a wack date and I don't clap or stroke egos, save that sh!t for your mama.
 
frogkisses said:
No you're not prying. I'm a huge supporter of #teamhoe and I ALWAYS encourage women to date around and entertain multiple men (this doesn't necessarily mean sex lol). I say this because it helped me a lot. When I commit to someone it's an all or nothing type of commitment. I learned the hard way (devoting myself to a horrible relationship and man) that the type of commitment I give is special and more than often not reciprocated. So I stayed single and didn't have one date for about a year before deciding I just can't sit around and hope for my husband to come to me. But I also couldn't make a commitment because I was so scared I would make a mistake by committing again. I decided the only way to not make a mistake is to learn more about men. So I started dating heavily. Just meeting different men for no purpose other than to learn how men are (and to have fun). In those three years I probably met and dated 40 men. I'm a Scorpio so I am very good about keeping my emotions in check so that wasn't ever an issue. I made about 3 stalkers :lachen:and more than half were honestly so lame and I went to dinner once and blocked them. The other 20 had enough personality for me to actually want to know them. I learned so much. I figured out what I liked and what I hated. I saw how men act in a variety of situations and how they react. Drunk men will talk about anything lol I learned way to much to type but I kept a journal.
Now I'm a demanding broad and I know this lol but my dad raised me that way for a reason :lachen:
I took about six months off of dating and ghosted my current rotation. I was tired. I loved all the fun and free drinks, drugs, entertainment, gas money, one guy was paying my car note :look: but I knew enough.
I know pretty well after 10 minutes of talking to a man whether or not he is promising. I decided to put my knowledge of men to use. I want to get married. Everyone in my family was married by 19, and they are all together still. And my mom and all my aunties were #teamhoe :look:
Anyone I stopped going on useless dates. Instead of dating for knowledge on men as a whole, or for fun, I focused. I read Calling In the One.
I left my FWB :look:
But I met FH January 7. I tested him in many ways, he always passed. I've never had a red flag moment, because he covers me. Also he didn't say all the right things lol. I told him early on I don't listen to words, I listen to actions. I stated my intentions and he was in the right place in his life to accept and give this love. He loves me the way I want to be loved and I apparently love him the way he wants. I have never felt so secure. Anything I want for he gives me. A lot of things have been happening externally in both of our lives. When we see each other it all melts away. When I see him, problems seem so insignificant, together we can conquer. :)
Click to expand...
Oh my!! I love love this post.❤️ This is where I am in my life. Not interested in games, changing my ways or downplaying myself all to get a husband. I want to be unapologetically me. I love that you and he both know what you're getting and it makes you want each other all the more.:2inlove: Congratulations again! And thank you for sharing with us. Wishing you both nothing but happiness, respect and peace in your lives.
 
You ladies are so inspiring. I love your spirit Frogskisses. Your vivaciousness, free spirit, determination and love for life bursts through the screen.

I wish I had LHCF when I was young free and single. I have learned so much here. Great resource for young, old and in-between for dating (and everything else).
 
SweetNic_JA said:
I love your walk in the bamboo pasture. Bamboo is strong, tough and resilient. I pray that your marriage is enduring, strong, and thrives uncontrollably like the bamboo plants do.
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Fine 4s said:
@frogkisses

I just feel like saying I love you....
I mean I don't really love you because I don't know you, but your story brought happy tears to my eyes.
Nothing to do with him or finding a husband but your whole journey, your growth...just beautiful!
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I really appreciate both of your kind words! You both are so sweet, thank you and God bless :2inlove:
 
frogkisses said:
So he gave me a new ring for my birthday!!! He sent me on a scavenger to get my eyebrows done, nails done, and a makeup spree at Ulta and sephora! The night ended with a surprise dinner with my family and bridesmaids. He then asked me to stand up and proposed to me again!!!
(This time my nails are done :lachen:)
View attachment 378967
Click to expand...


The first ring was beautiful but OMG, this ring is GORGEOUS!! How romantic!! So what will you do with the first one?
 
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