Friend says her DH won't go Downtown

MoniintheMiddle

MoniintheMiddle

Well-Known Member
Ladies, one of my best girlfriends tells me today that she and her DH are havign serious problems (I knew they were going through some things). Well she says she always has to initiate coloring for them to color. I know that her DH was laid off and recently found a new job. I told her that perhaps that is the problem.

Well, she goes on to say that when the color, he never wants to go downtown but he loves for her to do him. She asked him why he didn't want to do her and he told her "it smells funny." She told me that it's never been an issue in past relationships and she thinks the problem is with him. After I collect my thoughts i say "well, maybe you are experiencing hormonal changes (hell i don't know what to say at this point). She said her gyne says she's all good.

The kicker for me is that she continues by saying her DH ALWAYS wants to wear a condom even though she told him that they irritate her. This got me b/c i am of the opinion that a most married men are not trying to wear no condoms. My DH threw the box away when we said "i do.":grin:

Do you ladies think he's cheating...or he's on the DL? She asked me this question...

BTW, when Brokeback Mountain was out, he went to see it with "his boy.":nono::nono:
 
He may be cheating. But there's not enough info for all that. Maybe he has an STD and doesn't want to infect her, but then again, he's allowing him to go down on her so that can't be it. I don't know. Men don't smell like roses either so....... If I was her I would tell him You're not getting 'Becky', until I get that 'Teddy'. (Teddy is the opposite of Becky.
 
I dont know about the downtown thing but the something doesnt sound right about the condom situation. I dont know. I hope they work it out.

ETA: I know every man is different but I have yet to hear about a man that would use condoms with his wife.
 
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He wasn't doing it before marriage and she thought marriage would change it. Ummm No. He would have never made it to be my DH, if as a bf he wanted me to speak into the mic but never wanted to go downtown. That is straight BS.

The condom thing really doesn't bother me. I don't expect to use any type of birth control for myself so my future husband would have to use condoms or get a vasectomy. I don't see a problem with it. That is just me though.
 
They've been married for three years. She said he did the teddy thing before saying I do but he always wanted to use condoms even though she's on the pill
 
MoniintheMiddle said:
Ladies, one of my best girlfriends tells me today that she and her DH are havign serious problems (I knew they were going through some things). Well she says she always has to initiate coloring for them to color. I know that her DH was laid off and recently found a new job. I told her that perhaps that is the problem.

Well, she goes on to say that when the color, he never wants to go downtown but he loves for her to do him. She asked him why he didn't want to do her and he told her "it smells funny." She told me that it's never been an issue in past relationships and she thinks the problem is with him. After I collect my thoughts i say "well, maybe you are experiencing hormonal changes (hell i don't know what to say at this point). She said her gyne says she's all good.

The kicker for me is that she continues by saying her DH ALWAYS wants to wear a condom even though she told him that they irritate her. This got me b/c i am of the opinion that a most married men are not trying to wear no condoms. My DH threw the box away when we said "i do.":grin:

Do you ladies think he's cheating...or he's on the DL? She asked me this question...

BTW, when Brokeback Mountain was out, he went to see it with "his boy.":nono::nono:
Click to expand...


OH HELL NAW!!! This situation doesn't have red flags, it has big *** highway bulletin boards!!

About the bolded: A friend of mine told me this story about how she was supposed to meet up with a dude one time. When she called him, he was like "oh, can we meet up another time, I'm watching Brokeback Mountain with my boy and I'm really into it."

She said "cool" and never called him again.

I'm not one to throw the "gay" label around all willy nilly, but ummm.....yeah......that's suspect. :look:
 
I think the moment things don't start adding up and/or making sense, you need to question it. Things that are out of the norm and just not clicking, usally indicate something. Where there's smoke, you'll usually find the fire. I've learned the hard way to NEVER doubt yourself. You will surely regret it, but mostly learn to never do it again.

*As for the condom thing, my Dr. doesn't play that AT ALL!! :nono: I raised an eyebrow when she pretty much got after me for not having the hubby wear condoms (when I was on BC). After talking to her, I later understood where she was coming from considering African American women are amoung the highest group of people infected and living with HIV/AIDS. Even in your marriage you have to protect yourself because you're not with your spouse 24/7, as my Dr. told me. The hubby and I use them now because we don't want/not ready for kids right now, and because of what the Dr. told me. I've tried several different kinds of birth control (the patch, and different kinds of pills) and the hormone level was either too high, or just didn't work well with me. Right now I'd just prefer a natural alternative if I'm ingesting anything. But this is OUR norm but since it is not your friend's norm, she should definitely question it. She should WANT to use the condoms now, especially because of the red flags!!

Ladies please protect yourselves!!!!
 
His actions are suspect.The fact that most men love to please their women.He very may be on the DL.The movie bit really makes me question his actions.The condom thing is suspect too..she may need to watch him alittle more..:nono:
 
i would be seriously questioning my relationship... still wearing condoms??? oh no that needs to go out the window when you get hitched I am sorry. Whats the point of getting married if i still have to worry about you bringing in disease
 
MoniintheMiddle said:
They've been married for three years. She said he did the teddy thing before saying I do but he always wanted to use condoms even though she's on the pill
Click to expand...

LOL, maybe he really doesn't want to have kids. I know sure as hell I don't want kids right now and neither does my hubby, so our ish was like Fort Knox at one time. :lachen::lachen::lachen: Birth control pills AND a condom (that was only for the first month until the pill was well enough in my system). We weren't risking anything getting caught in my matrix!!

Does your friend want kids? Maybe there's a trust issue between them with that.
 
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Well if he they color before marriage and he didn't go downtown, I don't what why would she expect him to do it after marriage.
 
Well if he is on the DL and/or cheating..at least he is showing enough "concern" to wear a condom and protect her.

Things def. sound suspect.
 
hmmm, I feel very bad. It does sound suspect and I sincerely hope he isnt risking infecting her with something, that kills me. Using a condom but expecting fellatio and saying her stuff "smells funny".... well that part of their marriage is failing. If it were me Id demand to know if hes gay and that he take a batch of std tests... although that could ruin everything :nono:
 
DivaDava said:
I think the moment things don't start adding up and/or making sense, you need to question it. Things that are out of the norm and just not clicking, usally indicate something. Where there's smoke, you'll usually find the fire. I've learned the hard way to NEVER doubt yourself. You will surely regret it, but mostly learn to never do it again.

*As for the condom thing, my Dr. doesn't play that AT ALL!! :nono: I raised an eyebrow when she pretty much got after me for not having the hubby wear condoms (when I was on BC). After talking to her, I later understood where she was coming from considering African American women are amoung the highest group of people infected and living with HIV/AIDS. Even in your marriage you have to protect yourself because you're not with your spouse 24/7, as my Dr. told me. The hubby and I use them now because we don't want/not ready for kids right now, and because of what the Dr. told me. I've tried several different kinds of birth control (the patch, and different kinds of pills) and the hormone level was either too high, or just didn't work well with me. Right now I'd just prefer a natural alternative if I'm ingesting anything. But this is OUR norm but since it is not your friend's norm, she should definitely question it. She should WANT to use the condoms now, especially because of the red flags!!

Ladies please protect yourselves!!!!
Click to expand...
I understand your post but wearing condoms while married means its a sad day. Seriously, whats the point of being married if you need to worry about disease. The implication is that hes cheating. This whole thing just makes me jaded.
 
ooooh, Idk what to say exactly. I can say that w/o a doubt something smells fishy about this whole situation. Red flags all around. I sure hope that they can work it out though. "Coloring" is important in a healthy marriage.

P.S. I LOVE all of the wonder terminology being used..."coloring", "Becky", "Teddy"--this one is new to me, and "speaking to the mic" he he he...
 
DivaDava said:
As for the condom thing, my Dr. doesn't play that AT ALL!! :nono: I raised an eyebrow when she pretty much got after me for not having the hubby wear condoms (when I was on BC). After talking to her, I later understood where she was coming from considering African American women are amoung the highest group of people infected and living with HIV/AIDS. Even in your marriage you have to protect yourself because you're not with your spouse 24/7, as my Dr. told me.

Ladies please protect yourselves!!!!
Click to expand...



I agree with everything you said. Unfortunately, marriage does not mean you're safe from STDs. You'd be surprised how many married women come up with STD's from their husbands...which is sad...but reality.
 
He might know he has an std already and thinks he's protecting her with condoms. Does she notice a change in smell?
 
We would be at the doctor together taking std tests. I don't know something in the milk ain't clean. I can't say whats going on but something is.
 
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