For Those Who Met Your So Organically...

[chocolat79]

Did you meet them when you were solo or with others?

I have a gorgeous friend who has difficulty meeting quality men. I've encouraged her to start going to more places alone so that it's easier for men to approach. She almost always goes out with other women if she's going out. Except for one instance, any men I've met organically I've been alone, including my current SO. However, my cousin met her DH at bar, while she was with a friend.

What say you?

 

[FoxxyLocs]

My husband first noticed me when I was with friends but he approached me when he saw me again and I was alone.

 

[Lylddlebit]

He would wait until I was alone to spark up conversation with me. He never approached me while I was busy(even if I was alone) or conversing with another person. He had to pick up on me being available.

 

[jerseyhaircare]

Met dh at work but met plenty of guys in clubs and bars with a friends-but usually I rolled with one or two other women. Never met a guy when I hung out with my male friends/relatives.

 

[faithVA]

I met my SO while alone. I have had guys talk to me when hanging with one other person but not in a group.

I would think many guys want a chance to strike up a conversation which is easier with 1 or 2 people.

If she goes out with friends she just has to take an opportunity to get off by herself in some way for a minute or two. If a guy is watching he will take the opportunity to approach.

 

[Chicoro]

Taking notes and soaking up this expertise...

 

[PatTodd]

I met him at a fraternity event. I was meeting my line sisters there. He saw me and was joking around trying to get my attention but I didn’t care. He asked my line sister to give me his number. My then- boyfriend was acting up. One day I was bored and called him (and a few other dudes I had met). The rest is history. Married 21 years.

 

[PeaceFlow]

Would you say your friend is naturally observant?

I personally don't think it matters so much, as long as you realise when men are interested. Its easy to get totally immersed in the group experience and miss things going on in your periphery.

If you're in a group the guy just needs a signal that it's OK to approach and for that she has to notice them looking over in the first place. Just a soft eye gaze held a millisecond longer than expected, or a flicker of mysterious smize and turn away will do it. He'll talk to her at some point in the evening, when shes alone or the group breaks up (to get drinks or bathroom break).

There are of course ways to make things very easy for men, but ideally (IMO) you should be able to work feminine magic and increase attraction in any situation.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

I went out with a group, but went roaming around the event on my own.

It is strategic to get away from the pack, so to speak.

 

[LiftedUp]

While I was with male friends but they weren't stuck under me the entire night.

 

[natural in ATL]

Met DH while I was out with one of my friends. My girl and I always have a ball together so we probably looked fun and easy to talk to.

 

[Godsdaughter001]

Met DH in a group event - we were invited to an outside summer concert. I knew the host but no one else. There were about 5 of us. Me and dh sat next to one another. He gave me his business card after the concert was over. I called him 3 mos later. We’ve been together since (12 years).

 

[chocolat79]

Would you say your friend is naturally observant?

I personally don't think it matters so much, as long as you realise when men are interested. Its easy to get totally immersed in the group experience and miss things going on in your periphery.

If you're in a group the guy just needs a signal that it's OK to approach and for that she has to notice them looking over in the first place. Just a soft eye gaze held a millisecond longer than expected, or a flicker of mysterious smize and turn away will do it. He'll talk to her at some point in the evening, when shes alone or the group breaks up (to get drinks or bathroom break).

There are of course ways to make things very easy for men, but ideally (IMO) you should be able to work feminine magic and increase attraction in any situation.

Mmmm, I'd say not especially observant. What you said makes A LOT of sense. I appreciate everyone's answers.

 

[Mai Tai]

I met my husband in the club while out with an associate. When we got to the venue, my friend ran into a group of people she knew and my husband was in that group. For most of the night, we all sat around talking but he never said anything directly to me until I kinda wandered from the group.

 

[MizAvalon]

I was with a friend. He noticed a pest bothering us and came to our rescue.

Quite a few men have told me that they don't like approaching a woman if she is with a large group of other women.

 

[Brownie]

...

 

[BrickbyBrick]

I was with others. We had mutual friends. Unbeknownst to me and this other guy, my friends were trying to set us up with each other. He also was a good buddy of mine but it was platonic. Got there late enough to find him making out with another girl. Didn't know we were being set up, so I did my usual teasing and left him to his own devices. Meanwhile another guy who I had helped out earlier that evening asked me to dance. He got my number after a really good set of slow reggae songs. Together 14 years. Those reggae songs still get us in trouble.

 

[LostInAdream]

Met at my sister and BIL’s house warming. I came alone but all my family and friends were there. The first time I walked by him, I heard him tell his friend I want her. I ignored him for the rest of the day . My grandfather even tried to hook him up with one of my friends that day. He tried to get my attention by teaching my little cousins a card trick to use on me. I figured out the trick and his scheme. Eventually, he approached me and the chemistry was overwhelming. We had a deep conversation and were attached to each other the rest of the night. It’s been a year and has been amazing ever since!

 

[Maracujá]

Would you say your friend is naturally observant?

I personally don't think it matters so much, as long as you realise when men are interested. Its easy to get totally immersed in the group experience and miss things going on in your periphery.

If you're in a group the guy just needs a signal that it's OK to approach and for that she has to notice them looking over in the first place. Just a soft eye gaze held a millisecond longer than expected, or a flicker of mysterious smize and turn away will do it. He'll talk to her at some point in the evening, when shes alone or the group breaks up (to get drinks or bathroom break).

There are of course ways to make things very easy for men, but ideally (IMO) you should be able to work feminine magic and increase attraction in any situation.

@BonBon THIS! My sister, who has no problem attracting dudes, has also pointed this out to me.

Recently went out with my cousin and some friends to celebrate my birthday and there was a group of very handsome young Black men sitting there. Now, I walked in somewhat later than the other ladies and they immediately spotted me.

So at one point, towards the end of their dinner, they get up and go stand at the other end of our table. One guy was really gawking at me, but I only noticed it when it was too late. They were really trying to make eye contact with our table, but I decided to stop dating in 2015. I'm trying to maneuver myself back into this territory, but it's no easy feat. Anyway, thank you for this point.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

@BonBon THIS! My sister, who has no problem attracting dudes, has also pointed this out to me.

Recently went out with my cousin and some friends to celebrate my birthday and there was a group of very handsome young Black men sitting there. Now, I walked in somewhat later than the other ladies and they immediately spotted me.

So at one point, towards the end of their dinner, they get up and go stand at the other end of our table. One guy was really gawking at me, but I only noticed it when it was too late. They were really trying to make eye contact with our table, but I decided to stop dating in 2015. I'm trying to maneuver myself back into this territory, but it's no easy feat. Anyway, thank you for this point.

It's not easy to find a group of black people gathered in Belgium, especially a group of good looking black men, but I understand your decision. Hopefully you'll have a good, and worthwhile reason to start dating again.

 

[Maracujá]

It's not easy to find a group of black people gathered in Belgium, especially a group of good looking black men, but I understand your decision. Hopefully you'll have a good, and worthwhile reason to start dating again.

It really is not, but life is very funny. So, I've always heard the saying: 'good things come to those who wait', but it never really sank in. Until recently, when I was rereading an old thread here, on advice for our younger selves.

This year, two Black owned restaurants have opened in my city. One is where I celebrated my birthday (https://www.facebook.com/wakawaka.gent/) and I went to eat at the other one (https://www.partage-belgium.be) that serves...soul food, recently. And so given this new era of social media, one can actually gather so much information about the owners. It was so refreshing to see these young Black men doing something so productive and being unashamedly Black. So the guys at the first restaurant, were actually there to support their friend (the owner).

There was just such a positive vibe in the air and everything felt so refreshing: at one point my two white girlfriends asked if they could have some tea, to drink. And the owner of the first restaurant kindly explained to them that he would love to serve tea to them, but he's awaiting the delivery from Senegal. And that he refuses to serve them Belgian tea in the meantime. And that right there is my whole mentality in a nutshell.

My cousin, who is a single mom, trying to make her culinary dreams come true, was able to exchange numbers with him. And my little nephew got so many compliments on how well mannered he is, from both the owner as my friends. This was so important to me, because I want him to see Black men doing progressive things. Overall, it gave me so much hope for the kind of men that are out there. I'm not just judging based on the fact that they've opened up businesses. Towards the end of our dinner, the owner of the first restaurant came to sit with us and we really had time to chat. Though I am an introvert, this is really how I would like to meet men in the future: organically.

 

[rabs77]

at azonto salade and Wakanda salade

Thanks for sharing your pics

 

[Maracujá]

at azonto salade and Wakanda salade

Thanks for sharing your pics

You're welcome.

 

[NappyNelle]

Alone
At work
Small (<4) groups

And never if I'm with a guy friend, unless he's hosting an event or something.

 

[Fine 4s]

Met alone at a place we went to regularly and became acquaintances until...we weren’t lol