shortycocoa
Hair Weave Killer
Nope...I never really do. I asked my SO months ago if he regretted the fact that we got.it in so soon after we started dating. He said he didn't because it just felt right....I told him I felt the same way.
For ladies in serious relationships/marriages, did you abide by the 90 day rule?
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DarkJoy
Bent. Not Broken.
My exhusband I was with for 20 years, I waited 3 months before sleeping with him. I didn't know it was a rule at the time. Just felt right to wait.
People in my thread about cooking for your man said I broke the LHCF cardinal rule by doing so before we were married.
Isn't 'waiting' a rule as well, the only way to get him to respect you. IDK.I broke that one too. I only waited like 5 weeks, mostly because we spent 3-4 days out of a week together from the moment we met.
You followed it or no?
Cooking? Not so much. I was a broke student. It made sense to save money and cook after a while...
Now, 20+ years later, would I wait? Depends on what I'm looking for. I've slept with dudes right away, one who wanted to get married asap! Cooked for him too. Then again, when I want a man, I tend to meet the serious and intense types anyway... I dont want one right now, so... it's all up for grabs. lol.
ladysaraii
Well-Known Member
I believe in waiting, but I don't believe in a set number of dates or days. And I certainly wouldn't tell him if I was, but getting back on the market, I think I am going to wait for exclusivity.
RoseTintedCheeks
New Member
I don't think "how long" matters as much as "how much" work he is putting in to show you he's committed. I'm not going to wait for a man's respect. I'm going to wait to see if he shows me we are on the same page in terms of exclusivity.
I wanted a good girl gone bad experience, so I only wanted him for sex initially (we were friends/acquaintances prior).
We slept together on our 3rd alone meeting up. However, he said I was cold/reserved emotionally and he wanted to crack the ice queen
.
In most of the circumstances like this I find my friends that sleep early, but are emotionally unavailable, tend to get the men hanging off them most of the time.
Reminds me of Eddies obsession with Robin Givens in Boomerang. They are used to being the cold one, so when a woman isn't interested sometimes they are like 
On the other hand, the women that sleep with a guy early, but then wear their heart on their sleeve and get clingy seem to have guys running away.
erplexed Not all the time, but quite a lot.
Apart from SO, it's been 2 months ish.
We slept together on our 3rd alone meeting up. However, he said I was cold/reserved emotionally and he wanted to crack the ice queen
.In most of the circumstances like this I find my friends that sleep early, but are emotionally unavailable, tend to get the men hanging off them most of the time.
Reminds me of Eddies obsession with Robin Givens in Boomerang. They are used to being the cold one, so when a woman isn't interested sometimes they are like On the other hand, the women that sleep with a guy early, but then wear their heart on their sleeve and get clingy seem to have guys running away.
erplexed Not all the time, but quite a lot.Apart from SO, it's been 2 months ish.
GeorginaSparks
Well-Known Member
I THOUGHT IT WAS A 3 DAY RULE???! Lol hell naw im not waiting months before getting it on. With current SO, we moved pretty fast and i broke my rule of not kissing on the 1st date and plenty more as our relationship progressed
Layluh
Well-Known Member
menina
Believing the book of Revelations
GreenEyedJen
Well-Known Member
I respect this viewpoint, but I certainly don't believe that waiting until marriage is right for everyone. If I was a dude, I would be a "kang" when it comes to this subject because there's no way I'm waiting until that serious commitment to know if I like sleeping with you or not, no matter how much I like your personality, looks, and everything else. I would be SO BLOWN if my new spouse turned out to be horrible in bed. I like physical intimacy waay too much to not enjoy it for the rest of my life.
I'm not in a serious relationship or married at the moment, so I'm not sure how much my view means, but for me, I've had serious relationships where I waited, and serious relationships where we barely waited at all. I think it depends on the person you're with.
FelaShrine
Well-Known Member
and yet there are plenty of wives here who didnt wait til marriage, and then those who are waiting and still imagining that wedding with no one in sight.
greenandchic
Well-Known Member
I didn't know there was a "rule". Me and SO waited about 60 days (not purposely, just how things happened) after we started dating exclusively after knowing each other for two years.
I did the whole waiting-until-marriage deal and it was a disaster. He was the worst lover ever. I felt I went back in time during the Puritan days and would never make that mistake again.
In terms of cooking, I LOVE to cook so it was never a burden for me. Like a previous poster mentioned we are both into fitness and meals after a heavy workout is critical, so I cook. He buys the groceries for the meal and then some so its not like I'm being put out. We don't want to eat out every single time we're hungry.
Some people are "unlearnable".
I did the whole waiting-until-marriage deal and it was a disaster. He was the worst lover ever. I felt I went back in time during the Puritan days and would never make that mistake again.
In terms of cooking, I LOVE to cook so it was never a burden for me. Like a previous poster mentioned we are both into fitness and meals after a heavy workout is critical, so I cook. He buys the groceries for the meal and then some so its not like I'm being put out. We don't want to eat out every single time we're hungry.
are there things that you can't simply teach/tell him to do?jk
Some people are "unlearnable".
cutiepiebabygirl
Well-Known Member
For me, it wasn't about respect. I just wanted to make sure the dude met my series of tests
Me too! Before there ever was a "Joan Clayton" or Steve Harvey's book, I waited because I'm not to quick to sleep with people and I wanted to see if this person was not only worth me sharing my body, but having a relationship.
Mine was only 60 days though, but it wasn't like Day 61 and I was shoving my panties in is mouth.
Lol.I don't think there are concrete rules, each woman must do what is right for her. A long as she is secure, safe, and satisfied with her decision.
DarkJoy
Bent. Not Broken.
I hear this a lot. Which is why I gotta sample the wares before I buy. Sex is second to money for me, so why waste that kind of time in this area? After he's proven he can provide he's gotta prove he can bring it
menina
Believing the book of Revelations
Some people are "unlearnable".
yea but your ex situation isn't the normal expectation.
greenandchic
Well-Known Member
yea but your ex situation isn't the normal expectation.
Yeah, true, but I'm too old to be taking chances like that again.
intellectualuva
Well-Known Member
I don't have a timeframe, but its not quick. My longest relationships we were friends and when we transitioned we still waited a while to seal the deal. I don't know. Its all about comfort.....if it can happen in 1 month cool....if it happens in 8 months...cool....never....lol....you aren't it and are in the friend zone. LOL
menina
Believing the book of Revelations
LovelyNaps26
Well-Known Member
i think that statement was meant to suggest that some of their BFs, now husbands, might have been getting it in on the side anyways
this is obviously not the case for all couples. men can wait. but i've seen guys faithfully waiting with the main girl and getting it in with randoms.
sometimes main girl finds out and sometimes she doesn't and they live happily every after.
ladysaraii
Well-Known Member
i think that statement was meant to suggest that some of their BFs, now husbands, might have been getting it in on the side anyways
What I've always wondered is when the 90 day clock starts. is it 90 days from the first date? Is it from the time you become a committed couple? B/c that makes a difference.
I mean if we're dating non-exclusively, he can date or do whoever he likes (b/c I also have that option). In fact, I assume that if we're not exclusive he's seeing others.
But if we're exclusive and waiting, then I would expect him to be faithful and celibate with me b/c if not you dont need to be in a relationship.
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