Engagement and the Single Chick

[SqrpioQutie]

yet another one of my peers has announced their engagement ...

i KNOW i should be happy for them... and i'm happy that they're happy... BUT, dammit, don't rub it in the single chicks face... in the last year (not even a whole year mind you), 5 of my peers have either announced their engagement or gotten married... and i'll admit it - i'm jelly as hell...

soooooooooooooooo i'm wondering, were you ladies (engaged and married) sensitive to the feelings of the single chicks when you were very happily showing off your ring and announcing your engagement??...

single chicks - are you truly happy for the newly engaged/married yet feel just a lil bit of envy/jealousy/"when will it be me"?

 

[Taliah]

No. They'll have their turn. I don't feel bad about being happy.

 

[gone_fishing]

My friends are genuinely happy for me (I think). Now, any of my gf's who just got out of a relationship or are going through some emotional down time right now, no I don't shove my happy up in their face. That wouldn't be nice.

 

[SqrpioQutie]

My friends are genuinely happy for me (I think). Now, any of my gf's who just got out of a relationship or are going through some emotional down time right now, no I don't shove my happy up in their face. That wouldn't be nice.

i'm sure they appreciate it!!...

 

[Monigirl]

I consider myself a supportive married chick to my single siblings and friends. Always tried to be there if they want or need me or advice. I was sensitive as possible, but I did loose a friend when I annouce my engagement. She could not be happy for me. Problem was (I didn't have time to hang out with her as much when I fell in love and got engaged). So my friend became less sensitive and envious and could not be happy for me. Haven't talked with that girl for 5 years now.

 

[dlewis]

I guess I wasn't sensitive to my friends feelings but I'm not a very emotional person anyway. When I became engaged it was like "Ow, well".erplexed

 

[SqrpioQutie]

I consider myself a supportive married chick to my single siblings and friends. Always tried to be there if they want or need me or advice. I was sensitive as possible, but I did loose a friend when I annouce my engagement. She could not be happy for me. Problem was (I didn't have time to hang out with her as much when I fell in love and got engaged). So my friend became less sensitive and envious and could not be happy for me. Haven't talked with that girl for 5 years now.

oohhhhh... that's a tightrope.. i've definitely found that there aren't as many girls nights now but that's no biggie for me... i can't imagine not being able to be happy at ALL for someone... that's deep... did she ever outright admit her feelings about it or was it just obvious?

 

[SqrpioQutie]

I guess I wasn't sensitive to my friends feelings but I'm not a very emotional person anyway. When I became engaged it was like "Ow, well".erplexed

d, your siggy scared the hell outta me!!!!..

 

[Monigirl]

oohhhhh... that's a tightrope.. i've definitely found that there aren't as many girls nights now but that's no biggie for me... i can't imagine not being able to be happy at ALL for someone... that's deep... did she ever outright admit her feelings about it or was it just obvious?

She admited her feeling to me and in front of my other friends too and was so odvious.
Remarks she made: Go and hang out w/ your man you don't need me anymore, you use to be a good friend, ...etc
She stopped inviting me to shop, didn't want to watch Sex In The City Show with me anymore (use to hang out and watch that for hours), didn't respond to my emails and would return emails to others and they would tell me. Would not asnwer her door if I knocked (I could see her look through the peep hole). She became wierd.

She was more attached to me than my own twin sister. That is why I don't make many friends anymore. I was in the military at the time living in Germany. When I met my hubby and lost my friend.

 

[Farida]

I did not shove it down their throats. In fact I told them but I didn't really discuss it unless they asked. Then again that's just my personality.

When I have a friend who I know feels bad about it I remind them about what I'm 'losing' by getting married. There are so many things I have effectively given up by deciding to get married.

 

[Sade']

My friends appear to be happy and supportive of my upcoming nuptials. I don't talk about it much unless they ask, but I do that with almost anything in my life. I dare not flash my ring or my situation...but I know its obvious that I am in love. I don't tip toe around their feelings and hide my happiness though, I mean this is life and you have to deal with what is going on for YOU at that time. Don't envy or long for what another person has you don't know what they went thru to get it.

 

[bluediamond0829]

Girl im single also and had some of my peers even guys that i knew that got married with in the last couple of years too. So i can understand where you are coming from though.

You will get there. We will get there one day

 

[Sade']

Before I got engaged last year this married guy that I know said" U not married yet? What u waiting on, your eggs are gonna dry up" I wanted to come thru the computer and slap the shyt out of him. He REALLY hurt my feelings as if I CHOSE to be single.

 

[Determined22]

I'm single, and for the most part I haven't been a hater towards my friends who are engaged or married. I know that it will happen for me when the time is right.

A friend of mine just got engaged a couple weeks ago, she met him in June and he was talking marriage in September! So I figure that it could happen for me that way too, who knows. In the meantime I'm not wearing anybody's ugly a** dress!

 

[Browndilocks]

My best friend just got engaged and her wedding date is in September. She's a single mom of 2 beautiful children and within the past 3 years, this is her 2nd engagement. I'm actually inspired.

 

[Bunny77]

I'm always very happy for my friends, but there is a teeny bit of envy... actually not envy, but more of, "When will it be my turn?"

However, it would be wrong of me to take that out on my friends because they have nothing to do with my state and I would be very hurt if I was the one getting engaged and they were like that for me.

So I'm cool with it, and like Browndilocks said, it inspires me as well. I look at their examples as things I should follow as I date/enter relationships.

(Browndilocks, I PMed you!)

 

[misskaleah]

I haven't posted in a long time, but this was right on time!

I'm glad to know I'm not the only person going through this feeling. My cousin is getting married in September and that leaves me as the only one of my friends and family that is unmarried. Which I'm not too pleased with, but what can I do. I'm happy for her, but uneasy about my own situation. But I had realize that the feelings aren't connected. I can be both. But I do have to be careful not to roll my eyes...sometimes I can't take hearing about all the weddings. Again.

 

[spelmanlocks]

I lost a very good friend when I got engaged. I thought she would come around and I was very sad about it because I was so excited to ask her to be in my wedding. However, I never got a chance, since she responded in a very snide way when I told her I was engaged. Just be happy for your friends ladies, because you'd want the same when your turn comes.

 

[aqualung]

Not engaged yet. But I won't be apologetic when it happens.

I work my ass off to get everything I've got (and some things I've failed to get). I deserve EVERY happiness. No apologies for successes and good luck.

 

[ALWAYZL8]

I guess I'm a little different. When my friends get engaged, I'm genuinely happy for them. Most of my friends are of color, and it gives me hope when they get married or engaged. The only time I act up is when I know the guy is trash. That is just me not wanting to spend my money on something I know won't last. I am probably more excited for them than they are for themselves because I know when it is my turn, I'll probably act a fool! :trampolin No, I'm sure I will!

 

[SqrpioQutie]

hey ladies, thanks for sharing!!!... i know how touchy this subject can be....

for you other singles, yes, our time will come... i just hope that when my time does come, i'll remember how sensitive i am right now and remember that for others (although all of my people are married or engaged already so i may not really have anyone to be sensitive for).. lol

for you marrieds and about to be marrieds who lost friends, i'm sorry that that's an experience that you had.. i can't imagine what that would be like...

and for the rest of yall, just thanks!...