Bunny77
New Member
No shooting here!
I'm familiar with your past posts, so I knew you were talking more about marrying in one's early 20s.
Your message was good and food for thought!
To single/childless ladies from a married chick
- Thread starter Ladybelle
- Start date
No shooting here!
I'm familiar with your past posts, so I knew you were talking more about marrying in one's early 20s.
Your message was good and food for thought!
Bunny77
New Member
No offense to your guy friend, but you might need to meet some dudes who think on a higher level than this, honestly.
Aruba! I'm jealous... Have fun! Anyway, you've probably read my other comments... when you're ready to get back out there (AND YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GO TO HAPPY HOUR, OKAY??
), rethink your dating process a bit. Good luck!
MD_Lady
Well-Known Member
You're right on the money here asuperwoman. While I'll never try to talk someone out of wanting to be married, IME, it's so much easier to enjoy married life if you've lived single life to the fullest. This way, you won't be looking back and thinking about what you've lost or all the things you should have done.
While I'll never try to talk someone out of wanting to be married, IME, it's so much easier to enjoy married life if you've lived single life to the fullest. This way, you won't be looking back and thinking about what you've lost or all the things you should have done.Bunny77,
thanks a lot for the advice. It's always good to hear it from someone that knows what you're going through. I know that at 32 years of age I should know exactly what I want so I went into this relationship very honest from day one. The sad thing is, we had the talk at month 1 about where this relationship was heading and what I ultimately wanted. He was onboard from day one. He wasn't the first guy I had dated with my requirements and I shot down plenty of men that weren't talking my language. I hate to say it, but I did so many things right before getting into the relationship. He was ready, or so he said, to get married or engaged before the year hit. Once the year hit it was all the drama with the baby mama, his finances weren't right (she started asking for monre money) and he didn't want to feel like he wasn't providing as man for me(or so he said.) In the beginning she was allowing him to get the kids, didn't even have an order out on him, but once his father (who didn't care for me) started telling her about this new lady everything started hitting the fan. These issues did not start until about month 8 or 9 and she just never stopped.
Once the year hit, I did not back off the relationship but I wasn't really thinking about the whole marriage thing. At that time I was going through chemo and wasn't stressing about a ring. I wanted to ensure I was still breathing to get a ring if all went well. LOL
No, you didn't mention clubs. Excuse me for assuming. But I already do a lot of these other things. I go to museums whenever they change the exhibits (no men down there yet or maybe I wasn't looking). I just did a 10k walk/run with a group in November, I used to have season tickets to the Ravens games (except this year is the first year I didn't them in years, I go to the Wizards games, even started going to baseball games which I learned that i love now, volunteer with my nephew's football and basketball teams (full of married men though...not a good place to meet anyone), I'll be at a charity event in 2 weeks, but you're right maybe I do need to get into other things to meet men. Not quite sure yet. I'll have to brainstorm exactly where they may be. Again, I do quite a bit by myself but need to find out where the men are hanging. It's crazy that some people (like my sister) can just meet a man at the 711 (her current boyfriend) or the gas station and other's need to put themselves in position. It's crazy.
thanks a lot for the advice.
It's always good to hear it from someone that knows what you're going through. I know that at 32 years of age I should know exactly what I want so I went into this relationship very honest from day one. The sad thing is, we had the talk at month 1 about where this relationship was heading and what I ultimately wanted. He was onboard from day one. He wasn't the first guy I had dated with my requirements and I shot down plenty of men that weren't talking my language. I hate to say it, but I did so many things right before getting into the relationship. He was ready, or so he said, to get married or engaged before the year hit. Once the year hit it was all the drama with the baby mama, his finances weren't right (she started asking for monre money) and he didn't want to feel like he wasn't providing as man for me(or so he said.) In the beginning she was allowing him to get the kids, didn't even have an order out on him, but once his father (who didn't care for me) started telling her about this new lady everything started hitting the fan. These issues did not start until about month 8 or 9 and she just never stopped. Once the year hit, I did not back off the relationship but I wasn't really thinking about the whole marriage thing. At that time I was going through chemo and wasn't stressing about a ring. I wanted to ensure I was still breathing to get a ring if all went well. LOL
No, you didn't mention clubs. Excuse me for assuming. But I already do a lot of these other things. I go to museums whenever they change the exhibits (no men down there yet or maybe I wasn't looking). I just did a 10k walk/run with a group in November, I used to have season tickets to the Ravens games (except this year is the first year I didn't them in years, I go to the Wizards games, even started going to baseball games which I learned that i love now, volunteer with my nephew's football and basketball teams (full of married men though...not a good place to meet anyone), I'll be at a charity event in 2 weeks, but you're right maybe I do need to get into other things to meet men. Not quite sure yet. I'll have to brainstorm exactly where they may be. Again, I do quite a bit by myself but need to find out where the men are hanging. It's crazy that some people (like my sister) can just meet a man at the 711 (her current boyfriend) or the gas station and other's need to put themselves in position. It's crazy.
darlingdiva
Well-Known Member
No offense, but your friend sounds like an insecure and immature jerk--and I'm REALLY putting it mildly.
He said that you "needed some drama and stress to curb the happiness." That REAKS of insecurity. Why do you need to curb your happiness with drama and stress? Could it be that he's intimidated by the confidence that comes along with your happiness? Nonsense like that always annoys me. It is one of the reasons that so many women are choosing to be single. Why would you be in a miserable "relationship" when you can be happily single instead?
If you don't mind my asking, is he married or in a relationship?
No offense to your guy friend, but you might need to meet some dudes who think on a higher level than this, honestly.
He is a really good guy and I trust his judgement. I know most wouldn't, but I do. I understand part of it, but it isn't me.
Aruba! I'm jealous... Have fun! Anyway, you've probably read my other comments... when you're ready to get back out there (AND YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GO TO HAPPY HOUR, OKAY??
I am ready and really trying to think where I went wrong, but I cannot help it that people have drama or change their minds. All I can do is keep it moving.
bludaydreamr
Well-Known Member
Very well put, we are the same age, and I feel exactly how you do. It is a cruel game of musical chairs!
Bunny77
New Member
Aww, Preezie, I'm really sorry about the chemo, everything. Dang, do I know you? One of my friends went through a lot of the same... well, she's in Detroit, so she's probably not you, but I feel like I'm talking with my girl here!
Also, sorry for assuming you weren't already doing certain things. You know, now that I think about it, I was in a running/walking group once and met NObody... sigh... (although I joined another one last year and a dude showed some interest... but I'm taken now, d'oh!). And yes, it can be frustrating when you hear about your girl who met her wonderful man at the bus stop or who wasn't thinking about men when she just stumbled upon him...
But you know what? I guess I had to come to terms that everyone's life path is different. While I could wake up tomorrow, go to the drycleaners and meet my husband, I didn't want to depend only on chance, so I made more of an effort. Funny thing is, when I did start actively pursuing this, I did start meeting more men randomly... maybe I was sending out good vibes. A TSA screener who stopped me ended up asking me out, okay?
He was cute too, but he was one of the dudes going through it with an ex-wife, so I had to move on.
Again, sorry about your old relationship. It did sound like everything was going well and your ex sounds like he was a decent guy, just one with drama in his life.
Well... chin up and keep trying. It's better to figure this out now better than at say, 38-40. Keep us posted as well, and I'm pulling for you, for real!!!!
Oh... have you considered online dating?
Also, sorry for assuming you weren't already doing certain things. You know, now that I think about it, I was in a running/walking group once and met NObody... sigh... (although I joined another one last year and a dude showed some interest... but I'm taken now, d'oh!). And yes, it can be frustrating when you hear about your girl who met her wonderful man at the bus stop or who wasn't thinking about men when she just stumbled upon him...
But you know what? I guess I had to come to terms that everyone's life path is different. While I could wake up tomorrow, go to the drycleaners and meet my husband, I didn't want to depend only on chance, so I made more of an effort. Funny thing is, when I did start actively pursuing this, I did start meeting more men randomly... maybe I was sending out good vibes. A TSA screener who stopped me ended up asking me out, okay?
He was cute too, but he was one of the dudes going through it with an ex-wife, so I had to move on. Again, sorry about your old relationship. It did sound like everything was going well and your ex sounds like he was a decent guy, just one with drama in his life.
Well... chin up and keep trying. It's better to figure this out now better than at say, 38-40. Keep us posted as well, and I'm pulling for you, for real!!!!
Oh... have you considered online dating?
Bunny77
New Member
So... he actually married someone exactly like you!!!! He didn't look for someone crazy and with drama, did he?
Trust in the belief that there is someone who will love what you're about and want to be with you just as you are. The longer I'm on this earth and the more weddings that I see, the more I believe this is true.
There's a lid for every pot!
shortycocoa
Hair Weave Killer
Great thread!
Bunny, what's wrong with Preezie meeting a marriage-minded man overseas during travelling? I have seen a lot of threads where the advice is to broaden horizons and be more open to "new" possibilities.
Bunny, what's wrong with Preezie meeting a marriage-minded man overseas during travelling? I have seen a lot of threads where the advice is to broaden horizons and be more open to "new" possibilities.
You know, I thought about this as well. My sister keeps asking me if I would uproot if I met the right man and I would. I dated a guy from Houston 2 years ago while I was in New Orleans. He was just a "fun" guy, but if he had been talking my language I would have went to Houston in a heartbeat.
Bunny77
New Member
Oh, actually I think that's a great idea!
I was thinking more of what would happen in my case when I often traveled... I went places with my girls (or visited friends in different cities/countries) and although I met some of their friends, I didn't make any connections that could lead to a potential relationship.
However, I think back to all the events that I missed back home because I was traveling. One time, I was going to Florida to visit a friend, and a guy invited me to a barbeque at some friends' home. I couldn't go, and I look back and wonder about the people I could have potentially met there... people who actually lived in my state who I could see more often.
So yes, I do agree that you can meet people by traveling! I also want to make sure that in my life at least, there's a balance... that I'm not just jet-setting to keep my mind off being alone (and possibly bored) and that when I'm traveling, I'm actually making attempts to meet new people instead of just hanging with my girls, etc.
For example -- in 2008, I went to Cuba for a week because it was the opportunity of a lifetime. I don't regret that. But I didn't make any major plans for 2009 (besides a few days in Seattle) because I wanted to have available time for dating... looking back, I'm glad I did, because the guy who ended up becoming my boyfriend was able to use my free time to come visit, take me to visit his family in another state, etc.
Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
So true!!! This is EXACTLY how I feel LaCriolla.
I'm the same age, and while I don't want to be put into that category of "desperate" or "man-hunter" type women, I can't help but feel like time is running out. If I had a "sure thing" then I would be able to relax soo much more. Maybe it really is a self-fulfilling prophecy?? When you actually DO relax and realize that you WILL get married some day and find the man of your dreams, then that's when all the men come out of the wood-work? I don't know?? Any LOA ladies want to chime in on this??
Anyway, it's REALLY hard for me right now because I know of at least 5 couples (yes 5!) who all started dating, and have either gotten married late last year, or will be getting married THIS year.
It's tough not to think of your own singleness when all you see is your friends getting married all around the same time. Meanwhile, I don't even have a BF!! But...I'm trying not to get stressed out about it. I KNOW I will find someone someday, and lately I've just been working on getting out (like Bunny77 mentioned), and DOING things, accepting invites, having fun, and not worrying about men, relationships, and "when will I find someone special??"
I'm trying...but sometimes it really is hard...
Ramya
New Member
You're right on the money here asuperwoman.
What can't you do in marriage that you can do single other than dating other people? I mean I'm of the impression that people who don't accomplish what they want didn't fail because of marriage but because they chose to stop pursuing their dreams. I'm a firmly believe that you can do both.
darlingdiva
Well-Known Member
This definitely makes me think that he was insecure. Maybe he was saying all that nonsense because he didn't think he could get or measure up to a confident woman.
Yes PLEASE wait on the kids
You are so right kbragg, BUT my kids are now 15, 11, and 8 and things are definitely on the upswing for us. Now that the kids are a lot more independent I'm not so tired and stressed, therefore my marriage is not so tired and stress. My DH and I have gotten a second wind lately and I am remembering why I have been with him for the past 22 years (married 17).
Originally posted by newbiemom:
ITA. We planned on waiting but I am not good with remembering those pills so my first bundle of Joy Kal-el came . I was pregnant 3 months after being married. I wanted to wait 3 years. Then came Konner, I wouldn't trade them for the world but I do sometimes wonder what it would have been like to just have been the 2 of us married for a while.
We were on the 3 year plan also, but got pregnant 9 months after we were married. We waited until our oldest was 4 before having the second and then our dear daughter was a surprise
three years after that. I often wondered in the early years how things would have been if we had a few years to ourselves without the kids, but then I wouldn't have my awesome 15 year old son who reminds me so much of my DH.
ITA. We planned on waiting but I am not good with remembering those pills so my first bundle of Joy Kal-el came . I was pregnant 3 months after being married. I wanted to wait 3 years. Then came Konner, I wouldn't trade them for the world but I do sometimes wonder what it would have been like to just have been the 2 of us married for a while.
We were on the 3 year plan also, but got pregnant 9 months after we were married. We waited until our oldest was 4 before having the second and then our dear daughter was a surprise
three years after that. I often wondered in the early years how things would have been if we had a few years to ourselves without the kids, but then I wouldn't have my awesome 15 year old son who reminds me so much of my DH.
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Aww, Preezie, I'm really sorry about the chemo, everything. Dang, do I know you? One of my friends went through a lot of the same... well, she's in Detroit, so she's probably not you, but I feel like I'm talking with my girl here!
Also, sorry for assuming you weren't already doing certain things. You know, now that I think about it, I was in a running/walking group once and met NObody... sigh... (although I joined another one last year and a dude showed some interest... but I'm taken now, d'oh!). And yes, it can be frustrating when you hear about your girl who met her wonderful man at the bus stop or who wasn't thinking about men when she just stumbled upon him...
But you know what? I guess I had to come to terms that everyone's life path is different. While I could wake up tomorrow, go to the drycleaners and meet my husband, I didn't want to depend only on chance, so I made more of an effort. Funny thing is, when I did start actively pursuing this, I did start meeting more men randomly... maybe I was sending out good vibes. A TSA screener who stopped me ended up asking me out, okay?
Again, sorry about your old relationship. It did sound like everything was going well and your ex sounds like he was a decent guy, just one with drama in his life.
Well... chin up and keep trying. It's better to figure this out now better than at say, 38-40. Keep us posted as well, and I'm pulling for you, for real!!!!
Oh... have you considered online dating?
Well I am from Michigan, but it's not me. LOL I know, you sound a lot like my bestfriend I'm talking to. She definitely keeps me on my toes. She is also 30+ and single so we go through the dating woes together. This was good dialouge. Thanks for just keeping me on my toes. Good thing I haven't been out of a relationship long because it is easy to forget how to even be attached.
MD_Lady
Well-Known Member
I'm not saying people have to do a major overhaul of their lives when they get married, but it can cause situational changes (such as moving away from friends and family) that make it difficult for a person to live their life as they did when they were single (that and you have to consider the thoughts and feelings of spouse instead of only worrying about what makes you happy). Heck, major life changes of any sort can have this kind of ripple effect. All I'm saying is that, instead of wasting time thinking about how the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, it's important to spend time enjoying your own yard.
OneInAMillion
New Member
This thread is really timely! My SO and I have been discussing our future and planning to get married this year. I'm a planful person by nature and the topic of "when we'll have children" is always on the table. In short, we both want to wait around 3 years before we start having children. I'll be 28 in a month, and paranoia really sets in the more I think I about delaying childbearing. But on the other hand, I really want the time to enjoy my FH before we do make that next step. For one, he's in the military and travel outside the states is so limited for him over the next year and a half. Since we both love traveling, we want the opportunity to do some of that together. It's been helpful to hear everyone's experiences and the notion that it's ok to wait, since all I hear from my co-workers is how my fertility began its decline this past year
erplexed.I do have to comment on the part about living single life to the fullest---this is definitely a must! After finishing graduate school and moving from a boring town, and horrible relationship 2 years ago, I decided that I would enjoy being single as much as I could when I moved to the DC area. That was the best decision I could have made for myself. Much of it was inspired by just finishing my degree, landing a great job, and having the money to do the things I really wanted. It was so freeing to be back in a social environment, and so it was just natural for me to want to date and meet new people. That's exactly what I did and I had a the best time dating and just having fun. When I look back, I certainly enjoyed the single life for what it was (though sometimes it was annoying to date loser after loser, it was easy to move on to the next)!
It's really helpful to know that you're going to have a "grass is always greener" perspective through most stages, and that the most you can do is enjoy where you are while you're in the moment.
Ladybelle
New Member
It's the little things that all add up. I'll name a few:
-sleeping in is a thing of the past
-going out on a whim ( getting a family of four together & out the door is much more time consuming than two grown people)
-nightlife, the happy hour, jazz clubs, live music - we have to get a babysitter to do this type of stuff because kids in these type of places just isn't cute and there are only a few people we trust to babysit and we keep that to a minimum to avoid taking advantage of said people
-vacations turn into kiddie trips like Disneyworld, the aquarium - we want to give the kids the childhood they deserve so we limit our special trips(honeymoon type trips) to a minimum
-excessive spending on a whim - no more, because the kids come first. I can't go spend $500 on the shoes anymore without making sure the kids wardrobes are on point
-grocery shopping, before kids - my grocery bill was significantly less, and I cooked less. Now I have to cook to make sure they get the right nutrition
-coming home & being able to just lay down in peace, now coming home requires homework, getting clothes out for the next day, bath time, dinnertime and so on & so forth.
It has nothing to do with dating other people & is the furthest thing from me &dh's mind. This question has to be coming from a non-married person without kids, right??
Because me & dh are accomplished & continue to pursue our goals- that's not an issue either.This thread is really timely! My SO and I have been discussing our future and planning to get married this year. I'm a planful person by nature and the topic of "when we'll have children" is always on the table. In short, we both want to wait around 3 years before we start having children. I'll be 28 in a month, and paranoia really sets in the more I think I about delaying childbearing. But on the other hand, I really want the time to enjoy my FH before we do make that next step. For one, he's in the military and travel outside the states is so limited for him over the next year and a half. Since we both love traveling, we want the opportunity to do some of that together. It's been helpful to hear everyone's experiences and the notion that it's ok to wait, since all I hear from my co-workers is how my fertility began its decline this past year
I do have to comment on the part about living single life to the fullest---this is definitely a must! After finishing graduate school and moving from a boring town, and horrible relationship 2 years ago, I decided that I would enjoy being single as much as I could when I moved to the DC area. That was the best decision I could have made for myself. Much of it was inspired by just finishing my degree, landing a great job, and having the money to do the things I really wanted. It was so freeing to be back in a social environment, and so it was just natural for me to want to date and meet new people. That's exactly what I did and I had a the best time dating and just having fun. When I look back, I certainly enjoyed the single life for what it was (though sometimes it was annoying to date loser after loser, it was easy to move on to the next)!
It's really helpful to know that you're going to have a "grass is always greener" perspective through most stages, and that the most you can do is enjoy where you are while you're in the moment.
I agree with you, but with the childbearing thing- I don't know. You have to take into account the female reproductive system & such and how many children you want to have. Something to think about.
To be fair to Ramya's questions, most of those are things you can't do because you have children, not because you are married.
I'm not married, Ramya, but I imagine if I were these are the things I could not do that I can do now:
-quit a job without worrying about anyone but myself
-move to whatever part of the world i wanted to without consulting anyone
-travel whenever i like for as long as i like without considering anyone
-spend money as i please without agreeing with anyone about it
-stay out as late as i want without talking to/checking in with anyone, come/go as i please
So I think my spending big amounts of time overseas working and studying, and my current job search all over the country, are things i probably couldn't do if i were married.
To be fair to Ramya's questions, most of those are things you can't do because you have children, not because you are married.
I'm not married, Ramya, but I imagine if I were these are the things I could not do that I can do now:
-quit a job without worrying about anyone but myself
-move to whatever part of the world i wanted to without consulting anyone
-travel whenever i like for as long as i like without considering anyone
-spend money as i please without agreeing with anyone about it
-stay out as late as i want without talking to/checking in with anyone, come/go as i please
So I think my spending big amounts of time overseas working and studying, and my current job search all over the country, are things i probably couldn't do if i were married.
I agree Mwedzi.
Lynnerie
Well-Known Member
Well dayum...thanks
I was feeling the same way when I saw this thread but you know what- I'm so glad that I dont have to deal with the single life anymore. Alot of bull ish comes with dating especially if you continue to waste your time on no-good men. I like that the same good man comes home to me everyday and that I'm having his child. We already know that the majority of black women are single and some will never get married due to the ratio of men to women- especially if you are not willing to date outside your race. Now some women dont want to get married and they dont want kids and thats fine but I do plus I dont want to be old when I have all my kids. I want my parents to be able to see them grow up- God willing. Kids are blessings from God that come in His time for your life. If you take care of your body and workout you won't have a messed up body. Shoot I know some women who have let their bodies go and they dont even have kids.
Thanks for the encouragement!
Prudent1
Well-Known Member
Originally posted by newbiemom:
ITA. We planned on waiting but I am not good with remembering those pills so my first bundle of Joy Kal-el came . I was pregnant 3 months after being married. I wanted to wait 3 years. Then came Konner, I wouldn't trade them for the world but I do sometimes wonder what it would have been like to just have been the 2 of us married for a while.
We were on the 3 year plan also, but got pregnant 9 months after we were married. We waited until our oldest was 4 before having the second and then our dear daughter was a surprise
It's the little things that all add up. I'll name a few:
-sleeping in is a thing of the past
-going out on a whim ( getting a family of four together & out the door is much more time consuming than two grown people)
-nightlife, the happy hour, jazz clubs, live music - we have to get a babysitter to do this type of stuff because kids in these type of places just isn't cute and there are only a few people we trust to babysit and we keep that to a minimum to avoid taking advantage of said people
-vacations turn into kiddie trips like Disneyworld, the aquarium - we want to give the kids the childhood they deserve so we limit our special trips(honeymoon type trips) to a minimum
-excessive spending on a whim - no more, because the kids come first. I can't go spend $500 on the shoes anymore without making sure the kids wardrobes are on point
-grocery shopping, before kids - my grocery bill was significantly less, and I cooked less. Now I have to cook to make sure they get the right nutrition
-coming home & being able to just lay down in peace, now coming home requires homework, getting clothes out for the next day, bath time, dinnertime and so on & so forth.
I hear a lot of I's. Not bad/evil but as we all know marriage and parenting require huge amounts of sacrifice but they come with huge payoffs in the future.
I can say this b/c like some of the other ladies here I am on the other side of parenting now. You said it best in your avatar "happiness is a choice". I remember thinking will I ever see the backseat of my car? Thinking I'm gonna have 2 sizes of diapers forever
(Oldest DDs are 17 months apart)! What helped me deal with that stage was 1-knowing it was temporary2- changing my mindset about my responsibilities
3-making excelling in my responsibilities a real personal challenge 
It has also helped me watching a few ppl bury their kids, having close relatives suffer multiple miscarriages, and having friends deal with fertility issues. On this other side I also have a fair amount of acquaintances who look great physically, have profitable careers, no kids, no marriages, and are intelligent but lonely women. Like our haircare products and methods there is no one size fits all.
I know you are tired and busy beyond belief but this too shall pass.
Like Bunny77 said, "Everyone's life path is different".
The trick is knowing what yours should be, not comparing yours to anyone else's, and rolling with the punches of your life. To all I say begin with the end in mind.
Ladybelle
New Member
To be fair to Ramya's questions, most of those are things you can't do because you have children, not because you are married.
I'm not married, Ramya, but I imagine if I were these are the things I could not do that I can do now:
-quit a job without worrying about anyone but myself
-move to whatever part of the world i wanted to without consulting anyone
-travel whenever i like for as long as i like without considering anyone
-spend money as i please without agreeing with anyone about it
-stay out as late as i want without talking to/checking in with anyone, come/go as i please
So I think my spending big amounts of time overseas working and studying, and my current job search all over the country, are things i probably couldn't do if i were married.
Yep, all of that too!!!
[/B]
I hear a lot of I's. Not bad/evil but as we all know marriage and parenting require huge amounts of sacrifice but they come with huge payoffs in the future.
I can say this b/c like some of the other ladies here I am on the other side of parenting now. You said it best in your avatar "happiness is a choice". I remember thinking will I ever see the backseat of my car? Thinking I'm gonna have 2 sizes of diapers forever
2- changing my mindset about my responsibilities
It has also helped me watching a few ppl bury their kids, having close relatives suffer multiple miscarriages, and having friends deal with fertility issues. On this other side I also have a fair amount of acquaintances who look great physically, have profitable careers, no kids, no marriages, and are intelligent but lonely women. Like our haircare products and methods there is no one size fits all.
I know you are tired and busy beyond belief but this too shall pass.
Like Bunny77 said, "Everyone's life path is different".
The trick is knowing what yours should be, not comparing yours to anyone else's, and rolling with the punches of your life. To all I say begin with the end in mind.
I appreciate your words of wisdom & encouragement. I'm not complaining, I'm happy with my life, wouldn't go back to being single. Don't mind giving up my sleepy time (well most of the time), I was just elaborating on some of the differences before marriage & kids vs after. It's not all rosy all the time as some people portray & I was trying to remind the single ladies to enjoy their lives NOW, every stage of life has it own set of obstacles which we choose to face with optimism or pessimism and I'm finding myself reminding myself of that too!
I especially appreciate the red bolded, it certainly helps me to keep things in the right perspective. How old are your babies now?
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