do you know how much money ur SO makes?

When he is no longer your bf; he should be your FH leading to marriage. Unless you two are going to move in together, then you should know if he is going to be able to cover his share of responsibilities.

I feel if you are not living together and not planning to get married then it is none of your business, it goes both ways.

JUST MY OPINION though.
 
Yes I know b/c we were planning on moving in together... so I know exactly how much he makes and how much child support he pays.

But if we hadnt decided to do that I would've never asked. He's the only boyfriend I've had that I knew his salary.
 
I never had a man that I had to ask about his salary. He just told me a few months in....
 
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not currently in a relationship but my last two exes told me a few months in to the relationship. One of them let it slip while he was a mite tipsy and I was shocked ( in a good way) at how much he made.

Too bad he turned out to be a douche bag:lol:
 
I date military, so I get their salary within the first few conversations. All I need is their rank and how long they been in. I don't normally look up what they make though lol. If I was so inclined I would just look on the Internet and have it.
 
I think I might be in the minority here - but not until we are purchasing a large asset together (property, piece of land etc). I can't imagine asking him "what is your annual salary?". "What was your bonus last year?". But I also don't plan on living with someone before marriage and also don't plan on being married and renting. So I don't see the need to have the conversation until we're trying to figure out exactly what we, together, can afford to purchase.

That being said - he takes his role as a "provider" very seriously and therefore drops information here and there to give me an idea. He's on the hunt for real estate and I know what he's been pre-approved for. I have an idea of how much he makes and I know he makes more now, than I will with my job out of grad school. He gave me a business card and told me I could call his office pretty early on. I've been to the office, I've met his boss and a few coworkers...

So yea, I'm not sweating it until we're both in a position to sign on the dotted line.

Like others have mentioned, I find that when they're serious, they'll let you know without letting you know and barring some extreme circumstances (hello Bernie Maddof) they are ways to tell if dude is lying...
 
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Syrah said:
I think I might be in the minority here - but not until we are purchasing a large asset together (property, piece of land etc). I can't imagine asking him "what is your annual salary?". "What was your bonus last year?". But I also don't plan on living with someone before marriage and also don't plan on being married and renting. So I don't see the need to have the conversation until we're trying to figure out exactly what we, together, can afford to purchase.

I have an idea of how much he makes and I know he makes more now, than I will with my job out of grad school. He gave me a business card and told me I could call his office pretty early on. I've been to the office, I've met his boss and some of his co-workers and one of his clients...
Click to expand...

So you would get engaged to a man without knowing how he makes?
 
JayAnn0513 said:
So you would get engaged to a man without knowing how much he makes?
Click to expand...
Yes. Referring to my current situation and without knowing exactly (down to the dollar) how much he makes, I know enough.

First, I know that I don't have to ask because my father will. And he knows that an engagement without the permission of my mother and father is simply out of the question. So yea, if dad gives the okay, I am okay.

Second, he and I run in the same professional circles and I know what the straight-out-of-grad-school offers are like for what he does, and he's five years out. Along the same lines, I'm taking a "typical" career so he knows about how much I will make when I graduate (give or take $10K). I know that salary far salary (bonuses not included), his salary trumps mine by at least $40K.

Third and where I think most women fail (I have in the past): I observe patterns. I observe the people that he surrounds himself with and I have met their girlfriends/fiances/wives. I actively ask questions about his hopes and dreams and the actions that he's taking to get there. I know what is in his wallet and I pay just-enough-attention at dinner to see HOW he pays for dinner. We've traveled together and I see how he travels when we go places. And I know that his position at work is solid enough where his boss encourages him to take time off in March to come see me after having taken a 3 week vacation in January of this year (I've been out of the US since December).

Yea, I'd say I know enough.
 
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Yup, he mentioned it casually. I had already assumed/knew he made that much b/c my friends who work in that industry make a similar amount.
 
DOn't have an SO, but engagement is the time to lay the cards on the table. Although I wouldnt be surprised if my dad hadnt done a search on him beforehand.

I would never marry a guy when I didnt know his financial situation
 
At some point, I think it matters less how much he makes and more what he does with that money. Once you get around $150K, W2's mean little to me. What's more important is he spending and savings habits and what he does with said paycheck.
 
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I am money oriented, and I have a high paying career (in comparison to some) so I would want to know pretty quickly. Or at least have an idea. Mainly b/c once a guy sees how I'm living he gets the wrong idea that I can be a sugar moma for them.

By an idea of what they make I mean car, where they live, ect. I'm not a flashy person and I wouldn't want some one that was, however, I think that if you have a career and are working torwards a future for yourself (family, house, saving ect) then you are probably on the right path.

I haven't asked some one how much they make, but what is important to me is, 1. no credit card debit, period. That is a sign you spend money you don't have. Same goes for bankruptcy. Not ok. 2. Saving and retirement. You need to be planning for your furture, retirement doesn't just happen. 3. assets. fancy cars don't do much for me if you are living in the hood. 4. Career, not a job. 5. Plans, men that have something going to for themselves will want to talk about it.

If they have a problem talking about this pr give you vauge answers then there is a big hiding financial pile of the the stinky stuff.
 
When I had an SO and any exes, they either told me or I knew a ballpark figure. Enough to know if this was going to work or not. But, I've never had to ask. Also, I've never gotten to the engaged stage, so I haven't had the need for an exact figure.

They NEVER know how much I make though. They always think it's a lot lower than them and so, they have no qualms about telling me. :giggle:...great!
 
blackberry815 said:
When is it appropriate to ask your boyfriend how much money he gets paid??? What do you ladies think?
Click to expand...

I know how much he makes but i didnt ask. well i did ask for his account password just randomly...and he gave it to me :look:, but then again i have all his passwords :lachen:*trust-it's a scary thing lol* ...i dont check it because i really dont have a reason to. I dont think it's appropriate to flat out ask unless we're are married or at least engaged. Until then it's none of my concern..
 
Absolutely. I handle the finances in my relationship. My SO is too clutter-brained to deal with money.
 
Those that didnt ask

Was this in the middle of an argument?

Perhaps you mentioned you wanted something expensive and he goes off like "Woman, whatchu mean i should get that for you? Dont you know I only make $ much a year, what's wrong withchu?!"

:lol:
 
When you start calling someone your significant other you better know how much he/she is making and vice versa.
 
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