Is It Normal To Be Married And Not Know How Much Your Spouse Makes?
- Thread starter abioni
- Start date
PretteePlease
#fakeworkouts
I never asked or was told I only know because I signed off on the taxes.
Some of these responsesThis topic should be a non-issue in marriage IMO. No use in being married if you can't know super basic stuff. All of this what he can and can't know, what people are funny about, what we do and don't keep separately is too much work for me.
It is a non issue in my marriage and not something that comes up as a topic, or causes a problem. Its not like he's asking and I'm refusing to tell. He doesn't ask because it's obviously not something he feels is relevant and my coins are mine. DH is kinda old school and I like it.
For a while I stopped working in the earlier years together and he supported me. The reaction I got from some women about this was so disapproving because it went against their feminist beliefs
yet we we both happy. Same now really. People on the outside may have an issue due to different experiences, modern mindset and culture, but its a non issue for us. I'm not taking a pill for someone elses headache.
Browndilocks
Browndisha Brownie Sundae
It is a non issue in my marriage and not something that comes up as a topic, or causes a problem. Its not like he's asking and I'm refusing to tell. He doesn't ask because it's obviously not something he feels is relevant and my coins are mine. DH is kinda old school and I like it.
For a while I stopped working in the earlier years together and he supported me. The reaction I got from some women about this was so disapproving because it went against their feminist beliefs
My response is more aligned with whether the wife should know what the husband makes. It shouldn't matter what the wife makes at all. It still seems crazy to be married to a man and in complete darkness about his salary.
I see. I feel the need to know personally but I know a few friends who don't ask.
From what I can gather from couples that way around often (but unfortunately not always) the woman doesnt ask because life is very good and the guy is obviously doing very well.
I'm noticing this about recently widowed older women actually. Their husbands came through every time, so they never really asked the exact details as long as life continued to run smoothly and they could do everything they wanted to do as a couple/family
Also some guys are obviously over the womans acceptable threshold (brain surgeon for example), so maybe the exact figure ceases to matter to them maybe.
I'm just guessing here because I don't know for sure but that's the vibe I get. No matter the situation you always should know debts, credit rating etc... Men can reach dizzying heights of success and still be up to their eyeballs in debt and unpaid taxes. Thats the bit that's the most scary to me.
BillsBackerz67
Well-Known Member
This happened to my best friend. Ex Husband wiped out his 401k and she only found out about it because she was hit with the tax bill the following year (they were in the process of being divorced) . A whooping $15k. She was able to prove that she didn’t know and filed innocent spouse relief. That in itself was a nightmare.
Crackers Phinn
Either A Blessing Or A Lesson.
How money is handled in my marriage is so different than I expected that I can't frown at how it works with other people. Trust me, I did not expect to be all open and honest when communicating about money. I fully expected to have my hidden stash of bank accounts in my name only and all kinds of financial espionage. Instead, the old man messed around and made me an offer I couldn't refuse so...my accountant talks to his accountant and we file taxes jointly so everything is transparent.
I do know housewives my age who seem to have no idea what their husbands make. They just know that when money is needed. Money appears. They are artsy types tho. I was a finance major, that wasn't going to fly.
I do know housewives my age who seem to have no idea what their husbands make. They just know that when money is needed. Money appears. They are artsy types tho. I was a finance major, that wasn't going to fly.
Menina Preta
Well-Known Member
I know how much my husband makes. When I first started my job tho, I didn’t tell him they upped my salary by 10K more. Partly bc then he hammers in about how much I’m saving and I really wanted to use the extra money to upgrade my wardrobe and handbags lol. Now we file jointly so he knows the amount.
CurliDiva
Well-Known Member
DH told me EVERYTHING when we were dating. I think this was his way of proving he was ready and serious for marriage and a family.
But I also know a older couple where the husband handled all of finances and the wife didn't even know where the insurance papers were when he died. She was just given a allowance for groceries and that worked for them.
But I also know a older couple where the husband handled all of finances and the wife didn't even know where the insurance papers were when he died. She was just given a allowance for groceries and that worked for them.
Petal26
Well-Known Member
I don't think it's common, but nothing surprises me anymore. As long as both spouses are cool with it, I guess it's normal.
I had a coworker years ago tell me that he left his old job and took a gargantuan pay cut and didn't tell his wife. He told me "It was none of her business how much he made as long as he provided for the family". I imagine I looked like
the entire time 
They got divorced like a year later and soon after he got fired for sexually harassing one of the girls 
I had a coworker years ago tell me that he left his old job and took a gargantuan pay cut and didn't tell his wife. He told me "It was none of her business how much he made as long as he provided for the family". I imagine I looked like
the entire time They got divorced like a year later and soon after he got fired for sexually harassing one of the girls Similar threads
