Do we give men the same sympathy when they are abused

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

by women? Or is it more of a lachen:matter?

 

[weaveadiva]

no, we do not. we expect a man to be able to defend himself.

 

[Starian]

no, we do not. we expect a man to be able to defend himself.

Basically. I know it happens but I find it extremely hard to be sympathetic to the plight of a man whose wife beats or talks to them any kind of way.

It implies that he is weak, has low self esteem, and cannot run a household.

Would you want a man that displayed such qualities? Or let me ask you this, ever had a man that was too nice to you? Whatever you said went? He would lick your muddy boots? It was a turn-off wasn't it? You probably ended up disrespecting him and finding a man who would..."put you in check" so to speak.

No one likes a milquetoast man.

 

[Laginappe]

Basically. I know it happens but I find it extremely hard to be sympathetic to the plight of a man whose wife beats or talks to them any kind of way.

It implies that he is weak, has low self esteem, and cannot run a household.

Would you want a man that displayed such qualities? Or let me ask you this, ever had a man that was too nice to you? Whatever you said went? He would lick your muddy boots? It was a turn-off wasn't it? You probably ended up disrespecting him and finding a man who would..."put you in check" so to speak.

No one likes a milquetoast man.

What is implied when a woman is abused or talked to in any kind of way?

I agree that there's a HUGE double standard in play. We're ok with supporting a woman who allows herself to be abused, but we require a man to somehow "do better".

But let him try to defend himself against a "mere woman" and he's more likely to end up in jail for abuse than she is.

Again - SO GLAD I WAS BORN A WOMAN! I can get away with murder and chalk it up to my delicate nature.

 

[Starian]

What is implied when a woman is abused or talked to in any kind of way?

I agree that there's a HUGE double standard in play. We're ok with supporting a woman who allows herself to be abused, but we require a man to somehow "do better".

But let him try to defend himself against a "mere woman" and he's more likely to end up in jail for abuse than she is.

Again - SO GLAD I WAS BORN A WOMAN! I can get away with murder and chalk it up to my delicate nature.

Women are generally more sensitive and less powerful (physically) than men. It's our makeup. Men are stronger (physically) and tend to think more logically and are also more likely to be abusive.

There are more women being abused than men. I believe in your typical male/female roles, though. Man=provider, my head, my strength, the family decision maker. Woman=homemaker, primary caregiver, keeps household affairs in order, the husband's support. One is not more demeaning than the other. One who suffers silently under the brunt of a *****y shrew...*shrug* It's in direct opposition to my belief system.

Women often abuse how society looks at them in regards to domestic violence. There are ne'er do well women that use the fact that the man will get in trouble for domestic violence over her, threaten to leave with the children to manipulate a man and abuse him. It's wrong...but not as common.

I don't know any abused men, and I mentioned that it is hard to feel sympathetic because it is not something that is common. More common than you would think, but uncommon nonetheless.

Double standard, sure but it is what it is. I don't think anyone should have to put up with an abusive spouse, and I believe in self defense for ALL. It's a shame that the opposite gender gets more flack for exercising their right to defense, but I don't think there is anything anyone can do to fix that. It will always be unfair.

To the bolded, eh. I didn't imply that. Sometimes I can't tell whether your sarcasm is serious sarcasm or patronizing sarcasm, but everyone should treat everyone fairly, male or female.

 

[Spongie Bloom]

Women are generally more sensitive and less powerful (physically) than men. It's our makeup. Men are stronger (physically) and tend to think more logically and are also more likely to be abusive.

There are more women being abused than men. I believe in your typical male/female roles, though. Man=provider, my head, my strength, the family decision maker. Woman=homemaker, primary caregiver, keeps household affairs in order, the husband's support. One is not more demeaning than the other. One who suffers silently under the brunt of a *****y shrew...*shrug* It's in direct opposition to my belief system.

Women often abuse how society looks at them in regards to domestic violence. There are ne'er do well women that use the fact that the man will get in trouble for domestic violence over her, threaten to leave with the children to manipulate a man and abuse him. It's wrong...but not as common.

I don't know any abused men, and I mentioned that it is hard to feel sympathetic because it is not something that is common. More common than you would think, but uncommon nonetheless.

Double standard, sure but it is what it is. I don't think anyone should have to put up with an abusive spouse, and I believe in self defense for ALL. It's a shame that the opposite gender gets more flack for exercising their right to defense, but I don't think there is anything anyone can do to fix that. It will always be unfair.

To the bolded, eh. I didn't imply that. Sometimes I can't tell whether your sarcasm is serious sarcasm or patronizing sarcasm, but everyone should treat everyone fairly, male or female.

agree 100 % no point in typing out a response , you said it all for me better

 

[CurleeDST]

I do feel bad for the man b/c most times he could easily overpower the woman but because he shows restraint and not knock her upside the head - we call him weak.

I say you act like a man, get handled like a man.

 

[Everything Zen]

I do feel bad for the man b/c most times he could easily overpower the woman but because he shows restraint and not knock her upside the head - we call him weak.

I say you act like a man, get handled like a man.

SO TRUE

 

[cocoberry10]

no, we do not. we expect a man to be able to defend himself.

NO we do not. We look down on men who are abused, but we shouldn't. I know two men who were abused. One of them was 6'5 and 250 pounds, so he could have easily defended himself against his 4'11 110 pound girlfriend. She slapped him, kicked him, and stepped on his toe.

Some women (just like some men) have no control over their tempers and need psychological help!

And we shouldn't think it's different when it's a man or a woman doing the abusing, IMO!

 

[carcajada]

What type of abuse are we talking about here?

I wonder if it is more common for verbal abuse against a man to occur rather than physical?

I wonder if female on male abuse is under reported?

 

[cheeks87]

I do feel bad for the man b/c most times he could easily overpower the woman but because he shows restraint and not knock her upside the head - we call him weak.

I say you act like a man, get handled like a man.

This is soooo true.

I think verbal abuse(women against men) is greatly overlooked. I've seen girls calling their boyfriends stupid, cursing at them, saying they were good for nothing, etc. And I thought, if the guy were saying those things to the girl....people would be saying he's verbally abusive. I realized....the things I say to my boyfriend....if he said them to me, I'd be on the phone crying to some friend. It really made me think.

 

[Cloud06]

What if a man was abused as a child by an older "mother" figure? How do you sympathize with the man you know now? Some men can really be affected by that and will lash out when older becoming aggressive or really submissive. IDK?

 

[Laginappe]

Women are generally more sensitive and less powerful (physically) than men. It's our makeup. Men are stronger (physically) and tend to think more logically and are also more likely to be abusive.

Logical thinking equates abuse?

There are more women being abused than men. I believe in your typical male/female roles, though. Man=provider, my head, my strength, the family decision maker. Woman=homemaker, primary caregiver, keeps household affairs in order, the husband's support.

If this was 1940 I'd fully agree with you. Most women I know aren't married or supporting a household with the help of a man.

And I argue that the fact that more women are being abused by men only means that true numbers aren't being reported.

One is not more demeaning than the other. One who suffers silently under the brunt of a *****y shrew...*shrug* It's in direct opposition to my belief system.

Mine too.

Women often abuse how society looks at them in regards to domestic violence. There are ne'er do well women that use the fact that the man will get in trouble for domestic violence over her, threaten to leave with the children to manipulate a man and abuse him. It's wrong...but not as common.

I don't know any abused men, and I mentioned that it is hard to feel sympathetic because it is not something that is common. More common than you would think, but uncommon nonetheless.

Its more common than you realize.

Double standard, sure but it is what it is. I don't think anyone should have to put up with an abusive spouse, and I believe in self defense for ALL. It's a shame that the opposite gender gets more flack for exercising their right to defense, but I don't think there is anything anyone can do to fix that. It will always be unfair.

It's a shame and will always be unfair??? Seriously? THen that's the same line we should probably pass along when we come across a woman who reports abuse.

If its your son, uncle, brother being abused make sure you tell him the same. Too bad... life sucks... pat him on the head with a passive smile and a shrug.

To the bolded, eh. I didn't imply that. Sometimes I can't tell whether your sarcasm is serious sarcasm or patronizing sarcasm, but everyone should treat everyone fairly, male or female.

Everyone should be but again, as you've pointed out, its a shame and life is unfair. Men who are being apparently abused just have to deal. It is what it is. Their tough luck and all....