My dh had a child when we met & was keeping his child during the week, with the ex keeping ds on weekends. One reason I was attracted to him is because he made his son a priority and told me about him from the beginning. His son was 3 when we met. I also got the opportunity to see how he would be as a father first hand. We are now married with our own dd. I've been in his son's life now for 5 years.
Me and ds have a GREAT relationship. Our situation is a little different in that dh got full custody of ds so he is in our home except for 2 weekends a month when he goes with his mother. That said, I have more than earned my mother certificate (caring for him when he is sick, school work, doctor's appts., etc....). DS tells me several times a day that he loves me and I'm the best mom.
NOW....on the flip side - ds mother
![Wallbash :wallbash: :wallbash:](/smilies/wallbash.gif)
![Nono :nono: :nono:](/smilies/nono.gif)
![Spinning :spinning: :spinning:](/smilies/spinning.gif)
. This chick is OFF the HOOK!!!!! Dh had to take her to court for full custody and at the beginning she would call the house (until I checked her one day and let her know she wasn't going to be calling all disrespectful & also that's when she found out he got married
![Yep :yep: :yep:](/smilies/yep.gif)
. So she stopped calling the house). Long story short, she got a DUI on the Thurs. before her visitation weekend and didn't show up (she had a history of not showing up though) so that's when dh filed for full custody. All I'm going to say is she is JUST like Britney Spears!! Didn't show up to the deposition, didn't show up to court, etc... So now she pays child support (and it's a good amount too) & has little visitation. So you would think she would go somewhere right?
![Nono :nono: :nono:](/smilies/nono.gif)
This chick goes and has ANOTHER baby last July, the father (who was suppose to move in with her ended up cussing her out and bounced after she had ds), so she sends her 3 month old out of state to her parents (he's been there since Oct. & is suppose to come back in March). During this time she's busy partying and dating. She just married some dude that she met probably @ the time she sent her baby away and now I think she is pregnant with that dude's baby. DRAMA!!!!!!!! She is the type of chick who is all about appearences, trying to get or trap a man by having a child, could really care less about her children.
But there are ways to avoid the drama. First of all, my dh refuses to deal with her. If it's anything regarding ds, he will send a text or email. When she picks ds up for her weekend, I always open the door. She knows she is not allowed inside our home. Dh & I do not speak to her at all, even if we are all at the same event. We will speak to her new hubby & he tries to have convos with us but she gets no love. So really we don't deal with her at all and it's worked out great for us.
As long as boundaries are established early on, you can usually avoid drama. It also depends on the relationship your new guy has with his baby's mama too. Hope this doesn't scare you. All of this has happened over 5 years and by us
going through the stress of taking legal action up front, we will have peace now for years to come.