Unfortunate Looking Children

FlowerHair said:
I feel that some step mothers or potential step mothers have some kind of automatic disgust for their step children, no matter what they look like. I can't count how many posts I've read in a Swedish parenting forum about how they feel their step child is "nasty" or "yucky", they don't want to touch them, they stink etc etc. It's probably some remnant of an instinct to only protect and love our own offspring.

Regardless, I feel that she is doing him and his children a disservice by continuing this relationship. Besides, they have four kids between them, why would they need more?

It's better for her to find someone without children. That's what I would do if I ever broke up with SO. I don't want to deal with step children or ex-wives/girlfriends.
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Yes. This is what I wanted to say. Some stepmothers may feel the children of their current spouse/SO will always remind her of the woman he once had. Many dont like that.

Another thing, all children go through stages but good parenting to me is seeing the best in your children through these stages.
 
meka72 said:
But don't most people want to have cute kids? Of course cuteness is after health and intelligence but I still think people want to have cute kids.

And do people know when they don't have cute kids? If OP's coworker had a kid with the guy, she wouldn't think the kid was unattractive anyway.
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Exactly. Everyone's kids are cute TO THEM.:lachen:
 
GoldenRule said:
I started wearing glasses when I was 6. 3 of my 4 children also wear glasses. Rite of Passage in my family -- Middle School = Contacts. None of us ever gave it a second thought...lol. Seriously. Never. Don't worry about such a thing. Shoot for perfect heart, lungs, kidneys, great hair genes, etc... :lol:
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I want all it and perfect vision *stomps feet*. I'm also a non-cavity having family, we don't "suffer" from non-communicable diseases.

We are a pretty healthy family and long livers as well. If it were possible to get my genes solely then the bolded would be more than covered lol.
 
I wonder how she treats them. And I wonder what he would think of her bashing his children among co-workers.
 
InchHighPrivateEye said:
No. Some people aren't cute and that's okay. What would be unforgivable to me is somebody I cared about making me or my loved ones (I don't have kids, but I'm thinking about my close family) the butt of a mean conversation, and leaving me out there vulnerable like that, if we are supposed to be in a serious relationship. I would think somebody that like that was shallow, sad, and ignorant.

I used to talk about random thots and clowns with people, but I would never out my SO out there like that. And I'm trying to understand how ugly these kids could possibly be. The OP mentioned glasses but thats more of a style issue. They're kids. :look: She just sounds like a nitwit :lol:
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That's true...:yep:
 
i guess she already has kids anyway so she can come to that conclusion. if she wanted kids and saw his allegedly unattractive kids either she'd take her changes or break up. she wouldn't give up motherhood for such a superficial reason (at least i doubt it).
 
LiftedUp said:
I want all it and perfect vision *stomps feet*. I'm also a non-cavity having family, we don't "suffer" from non-communicable diseases.

We are a pretty healthy family and long livers as well. If it were possible to get my genes solely then the bolded would be more than covered lol.
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I hear ya but mark my word...you'll see! One day your baby is going to look you straight in the eye and bust out into this toothless little grin and giggle. From that point forward until the day you die, that little person will forever be P E R F E C T to you and you will cut a kneegrow for insinuating otherwise :lol: I swear...they get you like that. No matter what comes, your baby will be a tailor-made fit for you.
 
MizAvalon said:
Agreed. I'm more worried about my kids being healthy. Of course I want them to be attractive but even if they somehow came out ugly(highly doubtful), just about anyone can be brought up to average level. And since 90% of the population is average in the looks department anyway, I'm ok with that.

Are they white? Many white people peak when they are very young.
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I guess? She looks like Tiffany thiessen(sp?) aka Kelly from saved by the bell. I haven't paid much attention to him. I guess he is white. The son does have a lazy eye as well.
I hate that we live in a society where you value is judged and based off of how good you look. everything is a friggin popularity contest. And I am sure she if not directly, indirectly teaches her children to be superficial as well. That's how bullies are created. And I too worry about those kids if she does become their stepmother.
 
Some children go through an awkward phase and grow into beauties.:yep:

Avg and attractive ppl make ugly & funny looking children all the time:look:

Most ppl don't have all attractive ppl in :nono:their families (at least 1-3 rough looking relatives on either side) so what if she had a baby with a nice looking man and the child looks like an ugggglllyy, unfortunate looking relative of hers?

I think she's being a bit extreme, IMO.
 
mallysmommy said:
I guess? She looks like Tiffany thiessen(sp?) aka Kelly from saved by the bell. I haven't paid much attention to him. I guess he is white. The son does have a lazy eye as well.
I hate that we live in a society where you value is judged and based off of how good you look. everything is a friggin popularity contest. And I am sure she if not directly, indirectly teaches her children to be superficial as well. That's how bullies are created. And I too worry about those kids if she does become their stepmother.
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Beauty Queen sounds like a real prize. :nono:
 
I think I have the same view as Beyonce on this issue. :look:

I've never cared about having the prettiest kids possible. Obviously I like my face and the person I'm with I'm attracted to. Whatever our kids are like I'll love them because they'll look like me or the man I love. I try to rid myself of expectations.

Some people tend to go straight for the cute baby comments when they find out my SO is white/asian:rolleyes:. Makes me laugh that they seem to have thought about my kids features more than I probably ever will :lol: That always catches me off guard.
 
The woman has no positive emotional attachment to her man's children - if she did, she probably would have never brought it up that they were not cute. She will probably be a horrid step-mother. I feel for those children.
 
I can understand outside people making such comments, similar to Jay Z and Beyonce comments, but that's a horrible thing to say coming from a woman who claims to love him.
 
I can't have kids but I never wanted any. I never thought there was a possibility of ME having ugly kids, just that an ugly man would not look good on my arm. Only trifling, lazy men seem to be the kind who approach me. The one who is looking for a meal ticket. He tends to always be unfortunate looking to boot. I don't exude desperation because I don't lose sleep over being single. Last Chance Larry needs to hang it up. I don't want him in my family or in our pictures. I will NOT work harder outside my home than he does. He can go kick rocks. I'm being honest. I don't care how long I remain single, as long as I am I can always keep hope alive that the guy I really want to marry will show up. I'm not settling just so I can be married. I come from a family with standards. My worst fear is that the guy I really want will show up after I lower my standards and get married to a guy I've settled for. It seems folks look more attractive to others once they're finally in a relationship.
 
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LiftedUp said:
The guy I'm seeing wears glasses. It bothers me a little that he and all his siblings wore them since they were pre-teens. Actually, glasses are worn by everyone in his family. Conversely, my parents & grandparents only began wearing spectacles in their late 40s... closer to 50. It hurts my heart a little that my children more than likely would have to wear glasses. Not the aesthetic part of it, but the fact that they won't have perfect vision bothers me.
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my hubby parents both never wore glasses.
hubby started wearing those big ones at age 5 or 6. his brother too wore glasses.

his nephew only wears his time to time , doesnt really need them ( the mother doesnt wear glasses).

my hubby was afraid that our kids wear big glasses. i dont wear glasses.: ours sons dont need glasses . 3 & 6 years old. doctor said great view 10/10

hubby always wears contacts. he is a sexy, attractive guy. thank lord contacts were créated lol. big glasses would have made him less sexy...
 
CaraWalker said:
i love men with glasses :lick: i wouldnt care if a kid of mine had to wear glasses.
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:-) nothing is shocking with wearing glasses. plus now days we have these stylish , fashion glasses.

and i see some on men that gives them that sexy but serious look....... ;-) nice

however not all an wear them . (if u need a lot of correction you may not have many many choices of glasses).
 
I thought a mother would find her children beautiful by default. Is it really possible that women are having babies and then finding their own offspring ugly?!? How is this possible?!
 
Her views of attraction are really foul. His children are a huge part of himself. If she views his children in that way, then she's is not embracing the relationship in full, imo. I'm concerned about how her views will brush off on her own children. Honestly, it's one thing to find a child unattractive, but to view them as second rate because of their looks is horrible.

I don't get the issue about glasses. Lot's of people wear glasses. It's not even that serious.
 
How can a woman who loves a man and would ordinarily want more children, not want them with the man she loves? I don't think she really loves him if something that superficial would cause her to make a decision like that.
 
And I'm confused. Urklel grew into stephan, and I've seen people with acne turn out to be stunners. Maybe instead of judging and criticizing teenagers she could learn a lesson in humility. Looks can change in a instant.
 
One if the reasons why I never minded daring a Man with children. I want to are what those genes look like.
 
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