CurlyMoo
Well-Known Member
ok im curious what you guys think about this
the background event was basically that i was dating a white guy and one night when he asked me to meet up with him while his cousin's parents were in town, i got there and he basically tricked me into meeting his parents. since he didnt tell me his parents were going to be there, i asked him if he had warned his parents what to expect when i got there ie that i am black.
they acted nervous and unnaturally polite in a way that let me know they didnt expect a black girl to walk in the door and i feel like i have been invited out with friends of someone im dating who have the same reaction.
personally i would prefer that the person im dating mention that i am black. i dont see how it couldnt come up, because isnt one of the first things someone asks when you tell them youre dating someone is either "what does he/she do" and "what does he/she look like?" personally my comfort level is that i dont show up as a surprise "guess who's coming to dinner"
but i know some people would prefer it not to be made into a big deal, or see any need for the person to mention it. im just not really with the whole idea of colorblind. we notice race. we should be able to talk about race. we shouldn't pretend like race doesn't exist, imo.
so whats your comfort level? do you care if you show up to meet an SO's whoever for the first time and they didn't know you were black? or do you think it's part of polite society to not need to address it?
His parents were probably nervous because they didn't know you were coming to dinner either. Personally I don't care that's up to him, I really don't care what people think. It's not really their business anyhow what my race is. If he had racist parents who would make rude comments then yeah he should have told you. He should have told you anyway honestly. Meeting parents is a big deal to many gf/bf outside of race.
I don't want anyone racially conscious to the point of always introducing me as the Black gf. Pet peeve of mine. I want the connection I have with my lover to transcend race.