Calling all the celibates!!! Do you REALLY and HONESTLY believe that

[Everything Zen]

What's more interesting to me is that the topic is phrased such that you can really believe your vagina will save the day.
Basically if he can't respect your wishes to wait for however long you choose to wait and vice versa you two weren't going to make it any way.

 

[locabouthair]

What's more interesting to me is that the topic is phrased such that you can really believe your vagina will save the day.
Basically if he can't respect your wishes to wait for however long you choose to wait and vice versa you two weren't going to make it any way.

I'm sorry if you were offended by the way the topic was phrased. That wasn't my intention.

I am celibate and I have no reason to put down other celibates...

 

[Everything Zen]

^^^^^ Oh there was no offense taken and none meant in what I said. Please forgive me for my sarcastic sense of humor. However; I do believe the way the question was phrased (in terms of "REALLY" and "HONESTLY") that a response like that is warranted. As a fellow celibate- I think it is frustrating when some act like people can't control themselves at all- it seems like a cop out. Everyone has their reasons. Some people believe celibacy/waiting for marriage is the sacred holy union between a married couple and God. I see it as the most responsible way to expose yourself to the possibility of procreation and a good way to avoid becoming psychological scarred.

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

Abso-freakin'-lutely.

I don't know if my situation is unique, but like previously stated my SO and I are virgins (both of us turning 25 this year), have been dating over a year and dont pressure each other for sex. He is not cheating, not gay or on the down low

 

[anon123]

I think we all know celibacy is possible. The real question is how likely.

btw, I happily don't abstain.

 

[momi]

I would not care if he sticks around or not. Sex before marriage will ALWAYS cloud the relationship. A sexless relationship is always a serious one - leaving both parties free to explore and find out about each other. If he leaves because he was not getting the goodies then sex is more important than you are and he is selfish. This makes a shaky foundation for a marriage.

(I know this was a ramble but this really irritates me)

 

[momi]

LOL at the vagina saving the day...

 

[locabouthair]

I think we all know celibacy is possible. The real question is how likely.

btw, I happily don't abstain.

I understand. Celibacy isn't easy.

Abso-freakin'-lutely.

I don't know if my situation is unique, but like previously stated my SO and I are virgins (both of us turning 25 this year), have been dating over a year and dont pressure each other for sex. He is not cheating, not gay or on the down low

Good for you!!

 

[AnnDriena_]

If he can't abstain what happens when you have a baby and you need to abstain? And you know these fools that just want you to pop out babies and carry on like you can snap back in a couple of hours.

It's really bothersome that society has given men this pass like they just can't control themselves because they love physical pleasure and we don't.

 

[cheetarah1980]

Only if he was already practicing celibacy/abstinence. This idea that a man doesn't love you because you can't impose you standards for sex on him is ludicrous. It has nothing to do with love and everything to do with compatibility.

 

[ebonylocs]

OT:

I understand. Celibacy isn't easy.

It's more than that. Some people just don't see celibacy as a goal or an ideal that is worth pursuing. So when they say "I'm happily non-celibate" it doesn't mean they tried celibacy and failed because it was hard. They just mean they don't seen any reason to not have sex if and when they want to.

 

[HoneyDew]

It depends on the person. Sex is an important part of the relationship, just like so many other things.

I, for one, must have sexual compatibility with my mate. I would be miserable if we were not compatible sexually and I am married to him.

I could not bear it and that is something that I would want to work out BEFORE marriage.

So I know there are men that would feel the same way. For me, it is not just about the act and that I am so horny that I need to have it no matter what.

But, to marry someone and later find out that this vital aspect is broken.......

I guess there are so many things that you won't find out until after marriage, but for me sex is a biggie.

 

[locabouthair]

OT:

It's more than that. Some people just don't see celibacy as a goal or an ideal that is worth pursuing. So when they say "I'm happily non-celibate" it doesn't mean they tried celibacy and failed because it was hard. They just mean they don't seen any reason to not have sex if and when they want to.

That's true.

It depends on the person. Sex is an important part of the relationship, just like so many other things.

I, for one, must have sexual compatibility with my mate. I would be miserable if we were not compatible sexually and I am married to him.

I could not bear it and that is something that I would want to work out BEFORE marriage.

So I know there are men that would feel the same way. For me, it is not just about the act and that I am so horny that I need to have it no matter what.

But, to marry someone and later find out that this vital aspect is broken.......

I guess there are so many things that you won't find out until after marriage, but for me sex is a biggie.

I can definitely understand that.

I see both sides...

 

[NinasLongAmbition]

Ramya , I love your posts!!!! You're always on point, you truly are a woman of God. I always learn something from you, your posts are truly a blessing in my life.

 

[Caramela]

Not celibate but if a man is going to cheat, he's going to cheat.