Calling all the celibates!!! Do you REALLY and HONESTLY believe that

[locabouthair]

a man will stick around and NOT cheat if you're not giving up the goodies?

Be completely honest. Don't hold back.

Whether you're doing the three month rule or you're waiting till marriage, do you really think he will be faithful to you without getting the cookie? And yes I'm talking about a straight man

After me and a guy decided to just be friends, my friend said he was willing to just be friends because "he wasn't getting any. It doesn't matter he's a man. Men want sex".

I'll post my opinion later.

I wanna know your thoughts.

 

[Bunny77]

Depends on the man.

 

[Glib Gurl]

Depends on the man.

I also think it depends on his situation - is he looking to settle down with you? If so, he is (hopefully!) more likely to respect your wishes and hang in there until y'all clinch the deal. If he just is dating you without any intentions of making it permanent, then my guess would be no.

I'm interested in what others have to say . . . .

 

[Nkiru]

Yes, I believe this is possible (if) you find a God fearing man. Believe it or not, there are some celibate men out there. One of my closest friends caught up with a male friend from her past and he has been celibate for a few years now.

Girl, I am keeping my cookie on lockdown until I am good and ready. If the guy wants to walk, let him walk. That's a sign he wasn't for me anyway.

 

[MizzBrown]

Ummm, No.

And its not like he's gonna tell you that he cheated either.

They'll marry you alright, but will take the fact that they cheated on you while you were holding out, to their grave.

Just hope for the best and hopefully it makes your relationship stronger rather than weaker.

Also depends on what exactly you are "holding out on". ALL forms of sex or just vaginal?

Women brag that they waited but took it in every other orfice just to pass....you "held out" but he made you orgasm 18 times with his fingers. That dont count!

 

[aribell]

Well, I guess it depends on whether you think it's possible for men to be celibate. I think it is most certainly possible and happens every day.

At the same time, if I were dating someone who didn't himself believe in waiting, then no, I probably wouldn't easily believe that they were waiting for me. But I'm not quick to call people liars either.

 

[locabouthair]

Women brag that they waited but took it in every other orfice just to pass....you "held out" but he made you orgasm 18 times with his fingers. That dont count!

I think if you're willing to every other sexual act, you might as well just go all the way.

I also think it depends on his situation - is he looking to settle down with you? If so, he is (hopefully!) more likely to respect your wishes and hang in there until y'all clinch the deal. If he just is dating you without any intentions of making it permanent, then my guess would be no.

I'm interested in what others have to say . . . .

good point. very true.

 

[moonglowdiva]

If he was sent by God.

 

[weaveadiva]

Yes, I believe this is possible (if) you find a God fearing man. Believe it or not, there are some celibate men out there.

If he was sent by God.

precisely

yes, i think it's possible, but 9/10 he will be saved or on that path. i don't think your average everyday guy (the ones we encounter the most) would be so willing

(let's be real, though...sometimes the "church boys" be the ones coming at you the hardest)

 

[locabouthair]

precisely

yes, i think it's possible, but 9/10 he will be saved or on that path. i don't think your average everyday guy (the ones we encounter the most) would be so willing

(let's be real, though...sometimes the "church boys" be the ones coming at you the hardest)

VERY true.

And I do believe the guy would have to be God fearing.

 

[UmSumayyah]

My dh did.

Of course, he wasn't of a mind to take 2 years to plan the wedding...

 

[MissJ]

I have been in a relationship like this, and it worked. I ended up not liking the guy, though.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

I believe a man will stay celibate for the woman he wants to marry.

There are men out there that are celibate and are not sleeping around.

But....I don't believe that the two should live together during the celibacy...too much temptation.

And...I believe that the marriage should take place in a reasonable amount of time of the couple deciding they are going to marry.

 

[username12]

A man will wait for a women if he truly wants to be in a relationship/marriage with her.

If he leaves or cheats because he wasn't getting sex, he probably would leave or cheat even if he was getting sex.

 

[Ramya]

Yes I really do. I have platonic male friends who are doing it now but they understand the consequences of premarital sex. Any man that I "date" will have to already be abstaining for his own reasons. I'm more wary of a man that says he is sexually active but will 'wait' for me simply because he is abstaining for the wrong reasons. His celibacy has nothing to do with his love for God and is not comparable to mine.

 

[monie20032007]

Yes I really do. I have platonic male friends who are doing it now but they understand the consequences of premarital sex. Any man that I "date" will have to already be abstaining for his own reasons. I'm more wary of a man that says he is sexually active but will 'wait' for me simply because he is abstaining for the wrong reasons. His celibacy has nothing to do with his love for God and is not comparable to mine.

Hmmmm nice point!

 

[weaveadiva]

Any man that I "date" will have to already be abstaining for his own reasons. I'm more wary of a man that says he is sexually active but will 'wait' for me simply because he is abstaining for the wrong reasons.

good points

 

[Highly Favored8]

Yes, IMHO I think he can stay faithful. Depends on the man.

 

[naijamerican]

I believe a man will stay celibate for the woman he wants to marry.

There are men out there that are celibate and are not sleeping around.

But....I don't believe that the two should live together during the celibacy...too much temptation.

And...I believe that the marriage should take place in a reasonable amount of time of the couple deciding they are going to marry.

I agree with this. Most of my friends who remained celibate throughout their relationship dated for a short period of time (no more than a year, in most cases) and married within 5 to 6 months. The great thing about maintaining celibacy in a relationship is that it encourages spiritual, intellectual and emotional intimacy - which sheds light on whether or not the person is right for you anyway.

 

[TayMac]

Some men..not most.

 

[preciouzone]

I agree with those that says it depends on the man.

I met a guy at work who was interested in me and we
started chatting or what not... he called me like every
single day for a week or so. ( A church going guy and a
director of the music ministry at his church. ) So one day
while we were on the phone, he brought up "the talk" and
I told him that I am abstaining from sex. So he gets all quiet
and then he tells me "To be honest, I am not willing to wait
or not have sex". And I'm like cool... since then he hasn't
called me once. Lol, I also found out that his ex-gf of a year
and a half also made the decision to wait until marriage and I
think that this is probably one of the reasons why they are no
longer together.

Anyways, it soo depends on the man. I've heard many stories
of guys who were willing to wait and know of several guys personally
that are currently celibate or were once upon a time for a couple of years.

 

[locabouthair]

If he leaves or cheats because he wasn't getting sex, he probably would leave or cheat even if he was getting sex.

This is what I believe as well. Im not gonna say that sexual urges aren't natural but they way I hear some people talk is like if you're not giving it up it aint gonna work. Like do I need to sleep with every guy to make sure they stick around??erplexed

But....I don't believe that the two should live together during the celibacy...too much temptation.

Yeah thats like going on a diet and having cupcakes around you everyday

Yes I really do. I have platonic male friends who are doing it now but they understand the consequences of premarital sex. Any man that I "date" will have to already be abstaining for his own reasons. I'm more wary of a man that says he is sexually active but will 'wait' for me simply because he is abstaining for the wrong reasons. His celibacy has nothing to do with his love for God and is not comparable to mine.

very good point. And I believe if you are abstaining for religious reasons, you need to look for a God fearing man. Dont be dating pookie on the corner and expect him to celibate

I think there are men who will wait. They are probably few and far between though.

Im suprised so many women thought it was possible. I thought the majority would say no. Talking to a friend last night, made me feel very naive like I was dumb to think that was even possible.

 

[MuseofTroy]

a man will stick around and NOT cheat if you're not giving up the goodies?

Be completely honest. Don't hold back.

Whether you're doing the three month rule or you're waiting till marriage, do you really think he will be faithful to you without getting the cookie? And yes I'm talking about a straight man

After me and a guy decided to just be friends, my friend said he was willing to just be friends because "he wasn't getting any. It doesn't matter he's a man. Men want sex".

I'll post my opinion later.

I wanna know your thoughts.

If you meet a quality guy I do believe that celiebacy is possible. I know several male friends who are now celibate for various reasons. Sex is so overrated with random people not to mention the risk of diseases and heart break. God created human beings to have some self control. Some of us act like not having sex will be the end of the world. Women benefit SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much from not giving up the goods to men who aren't their husbands. Why get sexually involved with someone who may not be there tomorrow?

 

[locabouthair]

If you meet a quality guy I do believe that celiebacy is possible. I know several male friends who are now celibate for various reasons. Sex is so overrated with random people not to mention the risk of diseases and heart break. God created human beings to have some self control. Some of us act like not having sex will be the end of the world. Women benefit SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much from not giving up the goods to men who aren't their husbands. Why get sexually involved with someone who may not be there tomorrow?

I agree.

After my friend was like men want sex, yadda, yadda. I'm like ok but why should I share my body with a man without even being a committed relationship? (not knocking anyone but that's just not my thing).

That's JMO.

 

[inthepink]

I think it is possible with the right man who is celibate not bc of you but bc he already was. Otherwise as soon as you have a fight he will sleep with someone. This happened to my friend and she did forgive him and they did get married. Time from dating to wedding day was 4.5 years though.

 

[cocoberry10]

If you meet a quality guy I do believe that celiebacy is possible. I know several male friends who are now celibate for various reasons. Sex is so overrated with random people not to mention the risk of diseases and heart break. God created human beings to have some self control. Some of us act like not having sex will be the end of the world. Women benefit SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much from not giving up the goods to men who aren't their husbands. Why get sexually involved with someone who may not be there tomorrow?

I agree with this. Ladies, don't ever do anything you aren't comfortable with!

 

[Renewed1]

It depends on the guy and where he is at in his life. When a guy approaches me and the vibe I'm getting. I let him know up front, I'm a true Christian woman that follows the commandments and my husband will be tagging this.

Often the guys walk away......THANK GOD! I don't want a man that values sex moreso than getting to know me.

 

[preciouzone]

Thanks Changed, - I completely know what you
mean about that vibe. I do not want to waste my time
and energy by keeping some guy around, ( I don't care
how good you look or what you can do/buy for me )
thinking he's going to get some and me KNOWING he's
not going to. --- Perfect way to weed them out!

 

[skatergurljubulee]

It depends on the guy and where he is at in his life. When a guy approaches me and the vibe I'm getting. I let him know up front, I'm a true Christian woman that follows the commandments and my husband will be tagging this.

Often the guys walk away......THANK GOD! I don't want a man that values sex moreso than getting to know me.

ITA. DH and I waited and both of us were already on the path of celibacy before we met ( I was a virgin, he wasn't). So, of course, it made it a lot easier (in a way) to focus on other aspects of our relationship- ie, getting to know eachother.

Oh, and BTW, congrats on the BC!!

 

[CandiceC]

precisely

yes, i think it's possible, but 9/10 he will be saved or on that path. i don't think your average everyday guy (the ones we encounter the most) would be so willing

(let's be real, though...sometimes the "church boys" be the ones coming at you the hardest)

For real. I know a "church boy" that tried to come after me and he knows I'm married. Don't be fooled.