Broken-Hearted Girl
- Thread starter NaturalBlackGurl
- Start date
Bunny77
New Member
your so kind, thank you I will remember that. I'm sure just about all of you are older than me, and I respect your advice more than anything. Even thou you guys barley know me, you still show concern and that means a lot to me, and i'm glad there are people I can talk to who do not judge me and who try there best to help me, thank you ladies soo muchand I'm taking all of your advice
We just don't want you to go through pain and suffering when you don't have to.
While we all will probably experience heartbreak at some point in our lives, we don't always have to do things the hard way. If we learn important lessons early, it will save us from making the wrong decisions down the road.
And the more heartbreaks that you endure, the harder it will be to be available to the right man. Plus, staying involved with the wrong men can lead to life-altering situations (pregnancy, STDs, etc.)... it's crazy how just one bad decision can change your entire life... and we want YOU to avoid that!!!
NaturalBlackGurl
New Member
We just don't want you to go through pain and suffering when you don't have to.
While we all will probably experience heartbreak at some point in our lives, we don't always have to do things the hard way. If we learn important lessons early, it will save us from making the wrong decisions down the road.
And the more heartbreaks that you endure, the harder it will be to be available to the right man. Plus, staying involved with the wrong men can lead to life-altering situations (pregnancy, STDs, etc.)... it's crazy how just one bad decision can change your entire life... and we want YOU to avoid that!!!
yeah I don't have to. I'm taking this as a lesson learned, and I will know what to avoid in the future. I know it will help to keep me from making the wrong decisions when it comes to guys. I know I'm young and I still have a lot to learn about love and relationships. Sometimes I feel like when I find someone I feel like I have to please them and hold on to them because they make you feel like their the only one's who are going to ever love you. But I know thats not true. I know I will find someone who appreciates me, inside and out
im wiping away my tears and taking a step forward because I know I have a bright future ahead of me and you ladies are making me realize that more and more
mw138
Well-Known Member
As many others have said, concentrate on making yourself happy. We've all been there, so we know how hard it is to get a man our of your system and continue living your life. However, you WILL be fine. You'll get past this and have much happiness in the future. He doesn't know what he wants and you shouldn't have to wait for someone who seems to be so fickle.
You also need to cut off communication with him because all it's doing is hurting you. Either you need to tell him that you don't want to hear about his new relationship, or (and this is what I would recommend) remove him from your myspace, facebook, cell phone, IM, etc. You need a clean break and a fresh start.
You also need to cut off communication with him because all it's doing is hurting you. Either you need to tell him that you don't want to hear about his new relationship, or (and this is what I would recommend) remove him from your myspace, facebook, cell phone, IM, etc. You need a clean break and a fresh start.
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MissMeWithThatIsh
New Member
You fell in love with the idea of being in love with him, even over the reality. He's manipulative and will always be this way. I have no reason to talk to someone who manipulates me in such a manner. . . regardless of the situation. Let him go.
And this wasn't a mistake and you didn't waste 9 months in vain. You spent 9 months at a young age learning exactly what you don't want to ever have to deal with again. You'll be wiser with your heart and how strongly you commit your love in the future
And this wasn't a mistake and you didn't waste 9 months in vain. You spent 9 months at a young age learning exactly what you don't want to ever have to deal with again. You'll be wiser with your heart and how strongly you commit your love in the future
aribell
formerly nicola.kirwan
jI'm so sorry that you feel this hurt and disappointed. I, and I think most women, have been there at some point too. The important part is just figuring out how not to go there again. The main thing that jumped out to me from your post was your willingness to fully trust him and to have full confidence in all the words he was speaking without looking for action to back it up. He should not have asked you to simply trust him because he had done nothing to earn your trust. He was in a relationship with someone else and wasn't doing anything concrete to pursue you.
I know that when you're really into someone you want to latch onto anything that says they feel the same, but we can't do that; we have to pay attention to how they act over time and if what they're telling us matches what they are doing. If both words and actions are consistent over time, then they can be trusted. I'm not saying to be distrustful, just to wait and see how their actions match their words.
Also, I think it's a good idea in dating to know that nothing's over till it's over, meaning that regardless of what is said, feelings can change, new people can enter onto the scene...there's just never a guarantee that what someone thinks and feels today is what they are going to think and feel tomorrow. Even if this guy meant what he said at the time, something could have changed. All the more reason to wait to give your heart to someone who has worked to earn it because if it were important enough for him to really invest himself in pursuing and winning you, he wouldn't have just walked away.
I know it hurts a lot now, but if you can learn these lesson in your teens, your romantic future will be bright.
I know that when you're really into someone you want to latch onto anything that says they feel the same, but we can't do that; we have to pay attention to how they act over time and if what they're telling us matches what they are doing. If both words and actions are consistent over time, then they can be trusted. I'm not saying to be distrustful, just to wait and see how their actions match their words.
Also, I think it's a good idea in dating to know that nothing's over till it's over, meaning that regardless of what is said, feelings can change, new people can enter onto the scene...there's just never a guarantee that what someone thinks and feels today is what they are going to think and feel tomorrow. Even if this guy meant what he said at the time, something could have changed. All the more reason to wait to give your heart to someone who has worked to earn it because if it were important enough for him to really invest himself in pursuing and winning you, he wouldn't have just walked away.
I know it hurts a lot now, but if you can learn these lesson in your teens, your romantic future will be bright.
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Kerryann
Well-Known Member
Baby girl you have a lot more hurting to do as you get older
I suggest you follow all the advice that you've been so fortunate to get here today
OT where the hell were you folks when i hit 20 huh huh anyhoo back to the regular scheduled program
Man up honey kill all contact even if you have to change your number and dismiss him as a friend on your myspace asap. you will be better off you need to focus on school right now forget the skunk
I suggest you follow all the advice that you've been so fortunate to get here today
OT where the hell were you folks when i hit 20 huh huh anyhoo back to the regular scheduled program
Man up honey kill all contact even if you have to change your number and dismiss him as a friend on your myspace asap. you will be better off you need to focus on school right now forget the skunk
The good thing about having tomorrow is that you can start all over again, but remember we are not all promised tomorrow so start making a change today. We all know that you can not get over him in a matter of days. You will feel the yearning and feelings, but you have to fight them.
Most of us have been 17 and in love, take care of yourself.
Most of us have been 17 and in love, take care of yourself.
JustKiya
Well-Known Member
Everytime I see this thread, I think of this song. 
You WILL be okay.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vf3ZE7CLg0
You WILL be okay. www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vf3ZE7CLg0
NaturalBlackGurl
New Member
Awh! Thank You!You also need to cut off communication with him because all it's doing is hurting you. Either you need to tell him that you don't want to hear about his new relationship, or (and this is what I would recommend) remove him from your myspace, facebook, cell phone, IM, etc. You need a clean break and a fresh start.
and yes I removed him from my myspace last night. It was the hardest thing for me to do but I did it. He messaged me saying he's sorry and he hope we can be friends. It still hurts but I don't think I'm ready to try and start a friendship with him..atleast until I know I'm completely over him and moving on with my life.
NaturalBlackGurl
New Member
Also, I think it's a good idea in dating to know that nothing's over till it's over, meaning that regardless of what is said, feelings can change, new people can enter onto the scene...there's just never a guarantee that what someone thinks and feels today is what they are going to think and feel tomorrow. Even if this guy meant what he said at the time, something could have changed. All the more reason to wait to give your heart to someone who has worked to earn it because if it were important enough for him to really invest himself in pursuing and winning you, he wouldn't have just walked away.
I know it hurts a lot now, but if you can learn these lesson in your teens, your romantic future will be bright.
Yes your exactly right. It seemed as though I was the one doing all the pursuing and trying to win him over and he never gave me 100% back. I think thats why it hurts so much now because in the end I feel played, stupid, and foolish..I completely ignored the signs and now I'm left feeling broken and alone.
NaturalBlackGurl
New Member
NaturalBlackGurl
New Member
Everytime I see this thread, I think of this song.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vf3ZE7CLg0
I listened to it, all the lyrics are completely how I feel/am feeling right now. I know I have the stregnth to get threw this. It hurts so much right now. But I know I'll take it step by step and day by day. Thank you. I swear yall are like second moms to me now
thank you so much for all you have done to help me. I know I could never talk to my mom about these things. But I'm glad to know there are women like you willing to help me and give me honest advice. I really appreciate all you guys have done 
brownelovely
Well-Known Member
Your only 17 so you have time to find another "one." That's the good news. Don't delete your myspace because of him...don't visit his page or move his arse down so you won't have to see it.
Focus on you and your goals. He's obviously into playing games with you. Right now he has you where he wants...which is feeling like you are now along with telling you about him and his new girl knowing full well you aren't cool with it.
Do you really want a guy like that in your life? And secondly, do you want to choose who you date or do you want this guy to choose you when he's ready for you ( if that happens)?
You can do better. You don't have to end the friendship but make it known to yourself now that he's just a friend and leave it at that. All that lovey dovey just makes things complicated.
I will be so glad when myspace goes away.
ETA: just saw ur post above...glad you deleted him!
Focus on you and your goals. He's obviously into playing games with you. Right now he has you where he wants...which is feeling like you are now along with telling you about him and his new girl knowing full well you aren't cool with it.
Do you really want a guy like that in your life? And secondly, do you want to choose who you date or do you want this guy to choose you when he's ready for you ( if that happens)?
You can do better. You don't have to end the friendship but make it known to yourself now that he's just a friend and leave it at that. All that lovey dovey just makes things complicated.
I will be so glad when myspace goes away.
ETA: just saw ur post above...glad you deleted him!
NaturalBlackGurl
New Member
Yes I'm going to college next sept. I'm going to be a senior this year. I told myself I was going to start focusing on school and grades. Atleast to help get my mind off of him and make it easier for me to get over him. Especially if I'm focused on something else that is keeping me occupied.
Dominican09
New Member
))))HUGS(((((
1. YOU are too good for him
&
2. Time is your best friend.
1. YOU are too good for him
&
2. Time is your best friend.
NaturalBlackGurl
New Member
Yeah I thought about deleting my myspace. But my friend told me if I did, that would just let him know that he won. But If anything I want to be the winner. I want to show him that I don't need him, and that I can live my life just as happily as I did before he came along. I know one day he's going to realize he's missing out on a lot and is going to regret it. But when he trys to come back its going to be too late and I'm not going to accept him back into my life as anything more than friend. I don't want to feel like I'm on the sideline and when he's ready for me, or tired of her then he will come to me. I know it shouldn't be like that. Right now it still hurts so much, but I'm dealing and accepting with what happened.
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NaturalBlackGurl
New Member
I guess the saying time heals all wounds is true
I'm starting to believe I really am. I used to believe I wasn't good enough
for him and thats why he wasn't with me. But I'm starting to see things in a different light now because of you ladies
When it first happened the pain and hurt felt unbearable but I'm cope'n the best way I can.brownelovely
Well-Known Member
Good for you! I know it hurts...I've been there done that. I hate that feeling I get when I'm coming out of a relationship/friendship. But at least you're not letting it rule you.
You're going to college anyhow...ENJOY IT! College experience is definitely what you make it and who knows who you'll meet.
I definitely wish I had stepped back from trying to have a serious relationship when I started college...what a mistake. Sorry to jack thread 
.Good luck!
eyunka
Well-Known Member
Keep you head up little mamma, Like others have said your a beautiful brown skinned women. The color issue let it go. I tell my kids (i sound old) everyone has their preference in a man or women. Some may like short, skinny, fat short hair person. If you are none of those does not mean your not worthy. Just mean your not their type.
Trust me there will be plenty flocking to you.
Trust me there will be plenty flocking to you.
NaturalBlackGurl
New Member
Ashleescheveux
Well-Known Member
Aww I just want to give you a big huge hug. I can relate so much to you, I just want to let you know that you're not the only one whos been through such things and dont EVER blame yourself. You're a very pretty girl and if he doesnt realize that and how sweet you are then its his loss.
I went through these types of experiences sophmore year of high school and it was so heartbreaking but what I did was focus on ME, and my grades went sky rocketing and the same dudes who used to knock me down are the same ones following me in the mall trying to talk to me. I achieved more happiness by realizing that Im the most important person in my life no one else comes first. Look out for your heart love
Let me just say one thing, he's an a*shole. The typical high school a*shole type of male that is not worth your time. Forget him, move on to a better guy. If he's like this BEFORE dating him imagine what he'll be like if you were to date
Lying and conniving at such a young age, he'll only get worse with time smdh. And he's colour hung up? What is this, 1956. If he doesnt embrace your beautiful brown skin move on to someone else who'll absolutely adore it and treat you like a princess. Baby girl dont limit your choices to men to only black guys, especially if they aren't treating you with the love and respect that you deserve. There are plenty of boys out there who would LOVE them some you
I went through these types of experiences sophmore year of high school and it was so heartbreaking but what I did was focus on ME, and my grades went sky rocketing and the same dudes who used to knock me down are the same ones following me in the mall trying to talk to me. I achieved more happiness by realizing that Im the most important person in my life no one else comes first. Look out for your heart love
Let me just say one thing, he's an a*shole. The typical high school a*shole type of male that is not worth your time. Forget him, move on to a better guy. If he's like this BEFORE dating him imagine what he'll be like if you were to date
Lying and conniving at such a young age, he'll only get worse with time smdh. And he's colour hung up? What is this, 1956. If he doesnt embrace your beautiful brown skin move on to someone else who'll absolutely adore it and treat you like a princess. Baby girl dont limit your choices to men to only black guys, especially if they aren't treating you with the love and respect that you deserve. There are plenty of boys out there who would LOVE them some you
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NaturalBlackGurl
New Member
Yeah I blamed myself so much for everything that went wrong. I thought it was my fault. I think it is time to start focusing on me, I've been neglecting my happiness and wants because I was only focused on trying to make him happy, I thought by doing so, it would make him realize how much I really "loved" him and he would decide to make me his girlfriend.
Yeah your right, I'm glad I didn't date him, because I would probably hurt more than I am now. Especially if he wind up playing me. I just felt like he lead me on because he told me so many things and I put my trust in him and believed him because I thought I was so in love. I know there will be a guy out there who is going to appreciate me for me and who is going to give me 100% back so I'm not the one chasing him.
But thank you, your words mean a lot, as well as the other ladies on here.
I shed a few more tears today but I'm working on it. I know the hurt wont go away 1,2,3 but I'm taking baby steps. I feel like 9 months of my life I could have been happy with someone else, but instead I wasted it on someone who told me that they wonted to be with me, but in the end they left my heart in the garbage..
Yeah your right, I'm glad I didn't date him, because I would probably hurt more than I am now. Especially if he wind up playing me. I just felt like he lead me on because he told me so many things and I put my trust in him and believed him because I thought I was so in love. I know there will be a guy out there who is going to appreciate me for me and who is going to give me 100% back so I'm not the one chasing him.
But thank you, your words mean a lot, as well as the other ladies on here.
I shed a few more tears today but I'm working on it. I know the hurt wont go away 1,2,3 but I'm taking baby steps. I feel like 9 months of my life I could have been happy with someone else, but instead I wasted it on someone who told me that they wonted to be with me, but in the end they left my heart in the garbage..
Bunny77
New Member
I guess the saying time heals all wounds is true
I'm starting to believe I really am. I used to believe I wasn't good enough
for him and thats why he wasn't with me. But I'm starting to see things in a different light now because of you ladies
Just take things one day at a time.
Now, today and tomorrow you might feel great. On Saturday, you might feel sad and cry.
That's okay... it's a process, so don't feel that if you are sad and lonely in a few days that you made the wrong decision. I think all of us after breakups (and even though you weren't together, this is a mental breakup) go through really good days and then have really bad days.
The key is to get through them, like quitting smoking or drugs or alcohol. There will be some tough days, but those are the times you have to fight even harder to not go to his MySpace page, not accept IMs, not call him, etc. If you feel tempted, come to us and we'll help you out.
It's better to get through the pain now than drag it out... because ultimately you'll move on and feel happy again much more quickly if you do it this way.
NaturalBlackGurl
New Member
Just take things one day at a time.
Now, today and tomorrow you might feel great. On Saturday, you might feel sad and cry.
That's okay... it's a process, so don't feel that if you are sad and lonely in a few days that you made the wrong decision. I think all of us after breakups (and even though you weren't together, this is a mental breakup) go through really good days and then have really bad days.
The key is to get through them, like quitting smoking or drugs or alcohol. There will be some tough days, but those are the times you have to fight even harder to not go to his MySpace page, not accept IMs, not call him, etc. If you feel tempted, come to us and we'll help you out.
It's better to get through the pain now than drag it out... because ultimately you'll move on and feel happy again much more quickly if you do it this way.
yeah I'm feeling really depressed right now
im so used to talking to him everyday..its so hard..and im still left with a broken heart..i just wish the hurt would go away..sometimes I wish I could hate him so it would make things easier..but I know I could never do that b/c I'm not that kind of person.. 
sky_blu
Well-Known Member
Been here, almost exactly here but he didn't have a girlfriend when I met him and the difference between his past gf and I wasn't skin color. Change the players and I was there >>>> __<<<< Right now I know your feeling really hurt, especially when you have a connection with someone that you think is irreplaceable and you won't get over it over night but you'll get over it and he will be back. He will be back and when he does you won't even want him back. In my situation, he came back, said everything I wanted to hear, I got my apology, and as much as I thought I would want him back and to be with him.....when he finally did, I didn't.
NaturalBlackGurl
New Member
i feel so stupid sitting here crying my eyes out
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