Mena
Well-Known Member
ooh thanks! yea the sights kinda wack...maybe if i was 30 plus desperately looking for a man it would be okay....i dont appreciate old men hitting me and sending me crazy messages!
blackpeoplemeet.com
- Thread starter Mena
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ooh thanks! yea the sights kinda wack...maybe if i was 30 plus desperately looking for a man it would be okay....i dont appreciate old men hitting me and sending me crazy messages!
GeorginaSparks
Well-Known Member
I joined yesterday and i got about 35 messages. Im not sure if i want to subscribe to the site. The people that viewed me look skeevy so im not really interested in reading their emails.
I didnt even write anything in my about me section. Just put a pic up!! Do they not want to know anything about me?!! i wish them goodluck
I didnt even write anything in my about me section. Just put a pic up!! Do they not want to know anything about me?!! i wish them goodluck
sky_blu
Well-Known Member
Well Im in my mid 20's and I get hits/notes from guys around my age or younger more often than not. The only time I get hits/notes from older men is when I click on their page (usually bc they look younger in the tiny pic) so they think Im interested and send me a note. Some of those older guys look really good for their age. But then again I think some of these guys lie about their age. Saying their 26 and they look well past 36. I've talked to some cool people and the good thing with this site is that you can block people. So Ive had to block a couple people.
SqrpioQutie
Well-Known Member
well i do believe that if you go to preferences, you can specify the ages of the people who you'd like to be able to see your profile... that way the old men can't get at you unless they already have your screenname (i think)
SqrpioQutie
Well-Known Member
ohhhhhhhhhhhhh that's a funny idea... i know i've communicated with more than a few of them...
ellennicole
New Member
Umm, HATE THAT SITE. Inspired me to start a forum.
Anyway, alot of men. Joined in December, had over 200 notes/messages within a couple of weeks. I narrowed it down to 2 guys who seemed decent. Picked one, turned out to be a NIGHTMARE.
Anyway, alot of men. Joined in December, had over 200 notes/messages within a couple of weeks. I narrowed it down to 2 guys who seemed decent. Picked one, turned out to be a NIGHTMARE.
SparkleDoll
New Member
I liked it. I met my current Boo there. I have a few friends that tried it and have had success also. It can be overwhelming though take your time. My first day I had like 300+ messages, flirts and all. I had to keep seperate folders for the people I responded to because I started getting conversations mixed up! LOLI only responded to people I thought I might be interested in. I was super picky and that is one of the advantages of online dating.
Me too girl, if I didn't go on there for like a couple days it would be like 700 messages and flirts. I use to get confused too.
I met a man that I dated for about 9 months. After we broke up I didn't open another account because I did not want to become an internet serial dater.
Since it's been a couple years, I might sign up again just to see what kind of men are on there in my city.
sky_blu
Well-Known Member
What happened?
ellennicole
New Member
See the online dating horror stories.
As far as posting the names and pictures of the men from that site. LADIES DON'T DO IT.
IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!!! YOU CAN GET INTO SERIOUS TROUBLE DOING THINGS LIKE THAT. . .
Some of the men on there are C-R-A-Z-Y!!!!!!!!!! Seriously. If it were a one or two time thing or just based on my own experience, I would be more positive, but I've known too many people and have had my own experiences there as well.
As far as posting the names and pictures of the men from that site. LADIES DON'T DO IT.
IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!!! YOU CAN GET INTO SERIOUS TROUBLE DOING THINGS LIKE THAT. . .
Some of the men on there are C-R-A-Z-Y!!!!!!!!!! Seriously. If it were a one or two time thing or just based on my own experience, I would be more positive, but I've known too many people and have had my own experiences there as well.
SqrpioQutie
Well-Known Member
i'd love to hear why you say that.... the only con that i can think of is if someone is currently dealing with that person and gets their bubble burst... or if someone finds out that they're dealing with the same people...
what am i not seeing?...
ElizaBlue
Well-Known Member
Serious trouble how? It's the internet, no one has any privacy rights. Those pictures are often not even of the person who posted them. I know when I posted my pics on here I would need to delete them because there would be no telling how or where they would end up. And the only thing the authorities are going to say is, when you post to the internet you give up your privacy rights. I mean it's the internet. Trust me this I know.
Wait didn't you post a whole thread about going into the guys account reading his personal emails? I'm not saying you're the first. You gotta do what you gotta do. But that's a tad bit different from re-posting a picture that someone has already put out there and telling the truth about "your" experience with the proposed john doe.
And please believe sharing a pic of someone who maybe be a scam artist and keeping another sister from possibly tripping and falling into that same hole, I'd do it in a heart beat. I have run across some truly nut cases. Thank God I realized it before I went to far and really did wind with some serious regrets. So far just a waste of time and the rest is what you can't measure anyway.
Scam artist who prey on women are successful because they bet on the fact that no one will ever find out. They are banking on the fact that the embarassment and shame a woman may feel when she finds out they got scammed will keep them quiet. I have worked many many canadian lottery cases and other types of scams. This is exactly what keeps them in the scamming business. Being unknown as a scammer...nut case...liar...cheat, etc.
I would wager very few of the men like this are even aware sights like this exist where these discussions could actually be had. There are some sights where you can post their pic and any other information you may have on them. It's what Cheaters.com and "don't date him girl" sights do. But for some reason most of those guys are white. I guess sisters keep that ish quiet and just hope no one will find out.
I'm not advocating we do it on this site, and I'm certainly not advocating posting untruthful information about someone. But your experience also belongs to you. If he sent you pictures of him they belong to you to do what you will. Just try to call the cops about someone posting the 'money shot' you sent him of you, on the internet. See what they tell you.
Send me a picture if anyone wants to, I will tell if I know anything about that nicca.
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ellennicole
New Member
I did something similar to that with the idiot I was dating. . . I briefly wrote a blog about it on my page, something about being leary of online men who post pictures of themselves at 20 when they're 40+ years old. Also said something about being leary him b/c he lies about his income/line of work etc.....
I didn't think anything of it and I took it off after an hour or two--it was immature and like I said given my work, I should have been thinking clearer but I was really angry....
He saw the page, printed it out, and filed a police report. Not a civil action but a criminal action for harassment (at this point I don't know what exactly he said) but he specifically did that b/c he knows how damaging that can be for my career. . . .
I'm just saying, I didn't know who I was dealing with,he's a REAL JERK, and to do that was very low-- once again, I take responsibility for what I did. . .
I didn't think anything of it and I took it off after an hour or two--it was immature and like I said given my work, I should have been thinking clearer but I was really angry....
He saw the page, printed it out, and filed a police report. Not a civil action but a criminal action for harassment (at this point I don't know what exactly he said) but he specifically did that b/c he knows how damaging that can be for my career. . . .
I'm just saying, I didn't know who I was dealing with,he's a REAL JERK, and to do that was very low-- once again, I take responsibility for what I did. . .
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SqrpioQutie
Well-Known Member
was anything that you said slanderous or libelous?... i'm curious as to what the criminal action was also....
ellennicole
New Member
Nope, not at all. Everything I said was the absolute truth.
Anyone can file a police report, and he did. I have some people working on it for me, so I''m not sure what exactly he said, but I will find out soon enough.
Anyone can file a police report, and he did. I have some people working on it for me, so I''m not sure what exactly he said, but I will find out soon enough.
ElizaBlue
Well-Known Member
Criminal how? Unless you stated something completely fabricated and made up which was libelous or defamation of character which would have hurt his career or caused him to lose his job. I could not even see a police department taking a complaint on this unless he is allegeding you are stalking him in some way. There would have to be more to this than you casually mentioning that some people may have misrepresented themselves.
Did you give out his personal information? I mean I've been in law enforcement for 15 years and while federal is not local, still for a local jurisdiction to take this he would have to have something more. What was he the chief of police's son or something?
peacensoul
Member
SO I DECIDED TO BROWSE AND UM... EVERYONE LOOKS BLAH... THEY ALL HELLA OLD, SOME OF THEM LOOK LIKE "HOW YOU DOING". I dont think i will be a member.. Just had to say I saw someone that made me cringe.......
ElizaBlue
Well-Known Member
Girl,
I'm sorry you are going through this. But I encourage you to follow this through and prove that he is a liar and that he filed a fraudulent report. Don't let this make you give up on dating or even online dating. The fact that people like ourselves are on there, IMHO means that there are also some good guys on there as well.
I am dating one now. Ha! read my post in the Relationship forum. about flying to SC to meet my online BF. I had a great weekend and we are still going strong. But please believe if he gets froggy tomorrow, I will be instructing him on how to kick rocks. NEXT!
Life is too short to let these men take our spirit. You are a very attractive (not homo...heeheehee...I saw that on another post) and seem to be a loving person. Some momma's son needs to have those blessing bestowed his way. Don't let one or two or three bad apples stop you from picking fruit.
And let me just start a bit of a list here. If anyone has met, dated, talked to a former (cause that *** got fired) public relations director of a school system in MD and fine as hell but a pathological liar. PM me....I might just know ya boi. We don't even have to share pics I can describe him well enough for us to both know if it's him. This guy is a serious nut job. It's my story I own it and I wish that nicca would talk about pressing some charges. He might be locked the FUP now anyway. I wasted 6 months talking to him before he flew to Houston and proved to be clinical.
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ellennicole
New Member
No. I did not give out his personal information or where he lived. He does not have a job (he's working for free) so he has no job to lose. . . .
So, to explain it further.
Anyway, we were chit chatting the Monday b/4 and we got into it about his response to my question about his feelings. Anyway, he stopped calling, returning my text, etc. Anyway he emails me and tells me he is having problems being proactive in calling me back b/c for the first time he's felt less optimistic. . . Then he calls and tells me he wants to talk on Saturday. I tried to get more information but he gets angry and says that "he has to go b/c he has too piss.." Completely took me aback b/c he never talked to me like that before.
We talked on Saturday. He said he wanted to take a break, come back to the relationship after I finished studying for the bar (umm, yes, I admitted it). He kept saying he didn't want to lose what we built. Soooo I was like okay this is good, I can focus on me (which I should have been doing anything) and get back to our issues after my exam. . . So I called my brother to tell him and get his POV. My brother basically told me that he broke up with me and wasn't man enough to tell me and that I needed to clear it up. So I called him at home (his house phone/he lives in a senior citizens building with his mother b/c he's broke). Anyway he calls me back on the cell and I asked him about his stating he wanted us to communicate yet he had been ignoring my calls/text prior to our deciding to take a break.
He tells me, "well, when I feel like there's something I want you to know, I'll call and tell you.." I was like okay um, how is that working things out, then he says "You broke up with me yesterday." I said, um, I said if felt like we were breaking up not that we were. Then he says, "things just didn't work out, we're not together." So I say, "so we're not going to work through things," and he says ,"Um, not now, I don't think so," and hangs up on me. . . I WAS LIVID!!!!! Enraged b/c I was nice to him and had made a lot of progress in terms of my anger and temper.
I call back he doesn't answer. I call the house phone, his mother picks up. I asked to speak to___ , she says "No, he does not want to talk to me,and hung up."
So. . .. I did leave some not so nice text messages on his cell...and I sent him some emails (more than two asking him why he was being so mean out of blue)
He sends me an email stating he never wanted to see/talk to me again and if I email him again he would get a RO. So. . .. I sent a final email asking for a truce, stating I wanted to end things on a high note, and I asked him to give me my computer (that I did not lethim have) back.
That was Monday around 11 o'clock (we broke up Sunday night). I had NOT contacted him since. . . . .
I am looking at our local judicial website and I decide to see if he really did get a RO. I didn't see anything. . . but the following week, I typed my name and saw the he filed one on Monday . ..
So, I'm assuming, that RO coupled with the blog may have made it easier for him to file a report.
He's only doing it b/c he knows how damaging it could be to me. .. and I should have been thinking better but I didn't know/think he'd take it THAT FAR. . . .
So, to explain it further.
Anyway, we were chit chatting the Monday b/4 and we got into it about his response to my question about his feelings. Anyway, he stopped calling, returning my text, etc. Anyway he emails me and tells me he is having problems being proactive in calling me back b/c for the first time he's felt less optimistic. . . Then he calls and tells me he wants to talk on Saturday. I tried to get more information but he gets angry and says that "he has to go b/c he has too piss.." Completely took me aback b/c he never talked to me like that before.
We talked on Saturday. He said he wanted to take a break, come back to the relationship after I finished studying for the bar (umm, yes, I admitted it). He kept saying he didn't want to lose what we built. Soooo I was like okay this is good, I can focus on me (which I should have been doing anything) and get back to our issues after my exam. . . So I called my brother to tell him and get his POV. My brother basically told me that he broke up with me and wasn't man enough to tell me and that I needed to clear it up. So I called him at home (his house phone/he lives in a senior citizens building with his mother b/c he's broke). Anyway he calls me back on the cell and I asked him about his stating he wanted us to communicate yet he had been ignoring my calls/text prior to our deciding to take a break.
He tells me, "well, when I feel like there's something I want you to know, I'll call and tell you.." I was like okay um, how is that working things out, then he says "You broke up with me yesterday." I said, um, I said if felt like we were breaking up not that we were. Then he says, "things just didn't work out, we're not together." So I say, "so we're not going to work through things," and he says ,"Um, not now, I don't think so," and hangs up on me. . . I WAS LIVID!!!!! Enraged b/c I was nice to him and had made a lot of progress in terms of my anger and temper.
I call back he doesn't answer. I call the house phone, his mother picks up. I asked to speak to___ , she says "No, he does not want to talk to me,and hung up."
So. . .. I did leave some not so nice text messages on his cell...and I sent him some emails (more than two asking him why he was being so mean out of blue)
He sends me an email stating he never wanted to see/talk to me again and if I email him again he would get a RO. So. . .. I sent a final email asking for a truce, stating I wanted to end things on a high note, and I asked him to give me my computer (that I did not lethim have) back.
That was Monday around 11 o'clock (we broke up Sunday night). I had NOT contacted him since. . . . .
I am looking at our local judicial website and I decide to see if he really did get a RO. I didn't see anything. . . but the following week, I typed my name and saw the he filed one on Monday . ..
So, I'm assuming, that RO coupled with the blog may have made it easier for him to file a report.
He's only doing it b/c he knows how damaging it could be to me. .. and I should have been thinking better but I didn't know/think he'd take it THAT FAR. . . .
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sky_blu
Well-Known Member
firecracker
Well-Known Member
He filed a restraining order on you? What kinda message did you leave? If you didn't threaten him in your messages you should be ok.
Damn Ellen he was broke and stayed with his momma in a senior citizen's home and you were thinking of doing what with his sorry *** in the future?
I hope everything works out for the best. Keep your head up and dump broke ****'s in 2n2. Its a waste of precious time and energy.
If you want a fixer up you can always buy a house.
Your too good for lazy kneegrows with no ambition and no money.
Damn Ellen he was broke and stayed with his momma in a senior citizen's home and you were thinking of doing what with his sorry *** in the future?
I hope everything works out for the best. Keep your head up and dump broke ****'s in 2n2. Its a waste of precious time and energy.
If you want a fixer up you can always buy a house.
Your too good for lazy kneegrows with no ambition and no money.
ElizaBlue
Well-Known Member
No. He's doing it because he's a beyotch and first and foremost he doesn't want to give you your computer back. He knows that is the first thing you are going to say. File a lost/stolen report to get your property back. He also sounds like he is jealous of your accomplishments in the face of his lacking any. I mean come on. Back living with his mom in senior living community. He could get her kicked out.
You need to go to the same jurisdiction he went to and tell the intake DA your story. Not just a desk officer but the DA. Show them the emails...cause Lord knows what redacted and edited version he gave them. He will of course claim the computer was a gift and that is when you two will no doubt wind up on Judge Judy.
See I would have told you about this guy had I known him. This is what I'm talking about. The way he threw RO out like that means he is very familiar with it and probably had that notion in his back pocket all along when he needs to put a buffer between him and his victims.
The sad part about this is you obviously have feelings for him and he does not deserve that. I know you are mad, hell I'm mad just reading it. He sounds like a complete weazel. Did I spell that right. Yeah well anyway. Go down and talk to the DA and let them know you found out this guy was a serial dater and that you wanted to end it and you want your property back.
Hopefully you didn't give him a card talking about enjoy this computer I got you for Christmas. Because without that it's yours and you want it back.
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R
Reslnt1
Guest
Damn Ellen he was broke and stayed with his momma in a senior citizen's home and you were thinking of doing what with his sorry *** in the future?
I hope everything works out for the best. Keep your head up and dump broke ****'s in 2n2. Its a waste of precious time and energy.
If you want a fixer up you can always buy a house.
Your too good for lazy kneegrows with no ambition and no money.
And the choir says "Amen"
JFemme
Well-Known Member
and, Amen !!!
(he sounds like a misogynistic, calculating, crazy man-ho)
count your blessings, and K.I.M....
Dang, these stories are scary as heck...
ellennicole
New Member
He filed a restraining order on you? What kinda message did you leave? If you didn't threaten him in your messages you should be ok.
Damn Ellen he was broke and stayed with his momma in a senior citizen's home and you were thinking of doing what with his sorry *** in the future?
I hope everything works out for the best. Keep your head up and dump broke ****'s in 2n2. Its a waste of precious time and energy.
If you want a fixer up you can always buy a house.
Your too good for lazy kneegrows with no ambition and no money.
Yes girl. I thought he was down on his luck. He has an MBA... so I thought he was going to get a job-- he did for a month, but quit to do an internship for not one, but two local nonprofit organizations.
That's just it. I just re-read my emails and while I did say some mean things (talked about his weight, lack of accomplishments) the bulk of the emails were asking him why he was being so mean. So,no, I did not threaten him at all b/c at that point I still cared about him. . . I didn't want to do anything to him, I just wanted answers. . but for him to take out the RO less than 24 hrs after the breakup really surprised/hurt me b/c he knows
that I'm dealing with the breakup, the bar exam, and now the legal mess he's put me through. . ..
MizzBrown
Well-Known Member
Girl,
Spill the beans. Cause I currently have THREE people posted on that site WITH photos.
It's not a game anymore. You mess with me and I go all out.
starfish
Well-Known Member
I heard that!
As soon as my gut starts telling me something is not right, that's when I start 'fact checking'. With the three crazies it began with some kind of sob story, women hurt him, he's been hurt by his ex, blah blah blah. Always the excuses. I checked them out, found them on that site, and told them to go get some counseling or find some other woman cuz i'm not falling for the okie doke. Buh bye, Click!
firecracker
Well-Known Member
You have to revert your thoughts from that sorry **** and the bs for your exams. You can do it chica!
Now on those messages that sorry kneegrows ego and feelings were hurt from your tongue lashing.
I think you acted out in anger because you lowered your standards for this guy. You know you had no business feeling sorry or assisting a grown man that hasn't done the same for you and ain't your husband.
I'm sure he has no intentions of giving you the computer back which is why that rat bastid went to the Po Po on you too.
You gotta take this as a lesson, move forward and don't judge men cuz of him. You played a role in his trif crazyness for a hot minute. Oh well lesson learned and you won't get hit by that train again. I'm sure.
You have to accept responsiblity for your part in this debacle.
Your part may simply equate to being too nice and then going ape **** crazy on a sorry **** that deserved to be pepper sprayed, tied up to a tree and a stick shoved up his ***.
Don't give up on love cuz of boo boo the fool. Pray for forgiveness and guidance. Good luck on your exams. You've come this far don't give the victory to a jackazz. Don't feel bad all of us have done something we shouldn't have involving a man be it droppin those draws in 2n2, buying him shoes to walk out on us in, broke his code to emails, bank account etc or/and including socking his momma in the mouf
ok I'm just trying to make you laugh right now.
You gon be alright. Ok I've said more than enough.
ElizaBlue
Well-Known Member
You have to revert your thoughts from that sorry **** and the bs for your exams. You can do it chica!
Now on those messages that sorry kneegrows ego and feelings were hurt from your tongue lashing.
I think you acted out in anger because you lowered your standards for this guy. You know you had no business feeling sorry or assisting a grown man that hasn't done the same for you and ain't your husband.
I'm sure he has no intentions of giving you the computer back which is why that rat bastid went to the Po Po on you too.
You gotta take this as a lesson, move forward and don't judge men cuz of him. You played a role in his trif crazyness for a hot minute. Oh well lesson learned and you won't get hit by that train again. I'm sure.
You have to accept responsiblity for your part in this debacle.
Your part may simply equate to being too nice and then going ape **** crazy on a sorry **** that deserved to be pepper sprayed, tied up to a tree and a stick shoved up his ***.
Don't give up on love cuz of boo boo the fool. Pray for forgiveness and guidance. Good luck on your exams. You've come this far don't give the victory to a jackazz. Don't feel bad all of us have done something we shouldn't have involving a man be it droppin those draws in 2n2, buying him shoes to walk out on us in, broke his code to emails, bank account etc or/and including socking his momma in the mouf
ok I'm just trying to make you laugh right now.
Ok I've said more than enough.
Girl you too funny. You done made me spit out my Reisling and wake up homey on the web cam cause I was laughing to dang hard. Stop it.
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