SelahOco
Well-Known Member
Have you ever thought about how your birth order plays into how you get along with others in relationships? barbiesocialite has been mentioning this in different threads and I got curious about the people I've paired myself with and how I behave in those relationships.
I'll try to come back and add some visuals to break up the text, but let's chat about it if you're interested.
Firstborns (Control Freaks): the leader, a good citizen, responsible, responsive to parents’ expectations, well-organized, precise, and prone to perfectionism. Tend to be conscientious, ambitious, organized and dominant in relationships. Oldest sons tend to be take-charge types, leaders and oldest daughters are likely to be more bossy, confident and aggressive than their younger sisters.
Middles (Go with the Flow): Middleborns are the Type O blood of relationships: They go with anyone. As a general rule, middles tend to be good at compromise—a skill valuable to them as they negotiated between bossy older sibs and needy younger ones. Some middle children tend to be secretive for the same reasons. has less of a clear-cut role in the family; instead, she often makes a place for herself outside the family, creating a network of close friends, venturing away from the family physically, and breaking the mold intellectually as well.
Lastborns (Treasured): Lastborn children are beloved, treasured, and babied for much longer than their older siblings (and often by their older siblings). Takes on the baby role, easygoing, spontaneous, used to being noticed and fussed over, charming, and manipulative. Exceptions to this are common if the last born is several years younger than her/his siblings and is raised like an only child.
Only Children (Spotlight Hogs): The stereotype about only children is that they are pampered and precious, and thus will have trouble ceding the spotlight to anyone. Many often have characteristics both of first children (capable, perfectionistic) and of youngest children (attention-seeking, self-centered). They tend to be responsible and often mature faster than children with siblings because they are always around adults.
PAIRINGS
Firstborns with Firstborns:
Bill and Hillary Clinton
The ultimate political power couple, two firstborns, is a classic combination of control, dominance and striving. Two firstborns often butt heads, says Cane, because both want to be in control of every situation. "They may fight over what movie to see, how to raise the children, where to live." All relationships have these issues, of course, but these two strong personalities, used to getting their own way, may feel them more intensely.
First Born with Middle:
Will & Jada Smith (FIRST BORN (Jada) / MIDDLE CHILD (Will)
This can be a fine pairing most of the time, but the middle child's tendency to mold his- or herself around a partner may leave this person in danger of not following her own dreams. Of course, a lot depends on how domineering the firstborn partner is, and how "classic" the middle child's accommodating personality is. Remember, such variables as gender and age spacing play a role in how close your personality hews to the birth-order line.
First & Last Born:
Barack & Michelle Obama (FIRST BORN (Barack) / LAST BORN (Michelle)
This pairing has some good mojo behind it: The youngest child is cared for, while the older sibling can exert control. The baby of the family tends to be the type who needs attention; the firstborn, who was alone for a while in the family, doesn't need to seek attention, because he or she usually got it.
Middle with Middle: The middle child’s smack-in-the-center, sensitive, compromising nature gives this pairing an edge in keeping a relationship healthy. In studies of marital satisfaction, middle children fare best all around. Even so, if both tend to be the secretive type, they could have difficulty communicating.
Youngest with Middle: While as a rule, middles can usually have harmonious relationships with someone from any birth order, this combo may present some issues. That's because middles morph into the styles of the other types, depending on the dynamics of their particular family. A middle child with a much younger sib may act more like a lastborn (and the opposite situation may make the middle more like a firstborn).
Last Born with Last Born:
Courtney Cox & David Arquette
These two can have a lot of fun—a pair of carefree, risk-taking lovers nearly always do. But the classic conundrum here is that no one wants to be in charge. Both may prefer to be the kids' friend, not the heavy hand when it comes to discipline or neither wants to handle the finances or make other important decisions – which puts a strain on a marriage.
Onlies with Anyone:
Kanye (Only) & Kim WestDashian (Middle, Second Born)
Unlike the other birth-order positions, only children haven't been studied as much. Most people assume an only child will resemble a firstborn in relationships since they are, after all, first, but that doesn't take into account the fact that an only never had an advisory (or bossy!) role with younger sibs. An only with a firstborn can be a good match if the only child acts less classically "firstborn." And an only with the lastborn can present issues if the only has had little experience with the relatively immature, attention-seeking behavior of the baby of the family. Perhaps no surprise, middles and onlies make a good match, with the middle child accustomed to the needy side as well as the possibly bossy side, of his or her "only" love.
I'll try to come back and add some visuals to break up the text, but let's chat about it if you're interested.
- What's Your Birth Order
- Is there a significant relationship that comes to mind around this topic?
- Is this accurate for you?
Firstborns (Control Freaks): the leader, a good citizen, responsible, responsive to parents’ expectations, well-organized, precise, and prone to perfectionism. Tend to be conscientious, ambitious, organized and dominant in relationships. Oldest sons tend to be take-charge types, leaders and oldest daughters are likely to be more bossy, confident and aggressive than their younger sisters.
Middles (Go with the Flow): Middleborns are the Type O blood of relationships: They go with anyone. As a general rule, middles tend to be good at compromise—a skill valuable to them as they negotiated between bossy older sibs and needy younger ones. Some middle children tend to be secretive for the same reasons. has less of a clear-cut role in the family; instead, she often makes a place for herself outside the family, creating a network of close friends, venturing away from the family physically, and breaking the mold intellectually as well.
Lastborns (Treasured): Lastborn children are beloved, treasured, and babied for much longer than their older siblings (and often by their older siblings). Takes on the baby role, easygoing, spontaneous, used to being noticed and fussed over, charming, and manipulative. Exceptions to this are common if the last born is several years younger than her/his siblings and is raised like an only child.
Only Children (Spotlight Hogs): The stereotype about only children is that they are pampered and precious, and thus will have trouble ceding the spotlight to anyone. Many often have characteristics both of first children (capable, perfectionistic) and of youngest children (attention-seeking, self-centered). They tend to be responsible and often mature faster than children with siblings because they are always around adults.
PAIRINGS
Firstborns with Firstborns:
Bill and Hillary Clinton
The ultimate political power couple, two firstborns, is a classic combination of control, dominance and striving. Two firstborns often butt heads, says Cane, because both want to be in control of every situation. "They may fight over what movie to see, how to raise the children, where to live." All relationships have these issues, of course, but these two strong personalities, used to getting their own way, may feel them more intensely.
First Born with Middle:
Will & Jada Smith (FIRST BORN (Jada) / MIDDLE CHILD (Will)
This can be a fine pairing most of the time, but the middle child's tendency to mold his- or herself around a partner may leave this person in danger of not following her own dreams. Of course, a lot depends on how domineering the firstborn partner is, and how "classic" the middle child's accommodating personality is. Remember, such variables as gender and age spacing play a role in how close your personality hews to the birth-order line.
First & Last Born:
Barack & Michelle Obama (FIRST BORN (Barack) / LAST BORN (Michelle)
This pairing has some good mojo behind it: The youngest child is cared for, while the older sibling can exert control. The baby of the family tends to be the type who needs attention; the firstborn, who was alone for a while in the family, doesn't need to seek attention, because he or she usually got it.
Middle with Middle: The middle child’s smack-in-the-center, sensitive, compromising nature gives this pairing an edge in keeping a relationship healthy. In studies of marital satisfaction, middle children fare best all around. Even so, if both tend to be the secretive type, they could have difficulty communicating.
Youngest with Middle: While as a rule, middles can usually have harmonious relationships with someone from any birth order, this combo may present some issues. That's because middles morph into the styles of the other types, depending on the dynamics of their particular family. A middle child with a much younger sib may act more like a lastborn (and the opposite situation may make the middle more like a firstborn).
Last Born with Last Born:
Courtney Cox & David Arquette
These two can have a lot of fun—a pair of carefree, risk-taking lovers nearly always do. But the classic conundrum here is that no one wants to be in charge. Both may prefer to be the kids' friend, not the heavy hand when it comes to discipline or neither wants to handle the finances or make other important decisions – which puts a strain on a marriage.
Onlies with Anyone:
Kanye (Only) & Kim WestDashian (Middle, Second Born)
Unlike the other birth-order positions, only children haven't been studied as much. Most people assume an only child will resemble a firstborn in relationships since they are, after all, first, but that doesn't take into account the fact that an only never had an advisory (or bossy!) role with younger sibs. An only with a firstborn can be a good match if the only child acts less classically "firstborn." And an only with the lastborn can present issues if the only has had little experience with the relatively immature, attention-seeking behavior of the baby of the family. Perhaps no surprise, middles and onlies make a good match, with the middle child accustomed to the needy side as well as the possibly bossy side, of his or her "only" love.
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My brother is the oldest grandson, I'm the oldest granddaughter. We're the favorites 
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