Before being intimate...
- Thread starter Amour
- Start date
MochaEyeCandy
New Member
You're damn right I do. No test results, no cookie. 
locabouthair
Well-Known Member
PLEASE GET TESTED. AND IF HE REFUSES TO GET TESTED THEN YOU DON'T NEED TO SLEEP WITH HIM
weaveadiva
Well-Known Member
he!! yes
gotta show me those hiv papers and if you don't have 'em/they're more than 6 months old...it's off to the clinic we go
gotta show me those hiv papers and if you don't have 'em/they're more than 6 months old...it's off to the clinic we go
Lucie
Dancin' on sunshine!
I am a germaphobe. I don't even like people male/female/child touching me sometimes. When I was single, I would always take a future partner to my doctor. I never trusted a man's doctor (they could be boys for all I know) so he had to go to mine. If he in turn felt better if I went to his own, then it was fine by me too. AIDS/HIV and all the other STDs are no joke. I have too much to live for to get destroyed over some dude's shlong. How could I put myself and my family through that?
song_of_serenity
Well-Known Member
S.O and I are waiting for marriage and while I am a virgin, he's not. He got tested for all STDs for World Aids day to ease both of our fears since he was once sexually active and had to know about his personal health (never was tested before) and for my own sake (I told him I wouldn't even THINK about marriage if I didn't have those test results in my hand) 
Women are usually the ones to take the initiative to go to the doctors, get tested and what not, but men tend to be a bit lax in comparison. And yes, if I was sexually active, best believe I would be marching myself down to the clinic as well.
We can never be too safe and I doubt anyone in their right mind who caught an STD from, lets say, a 1 nighter thought "Well, that person looks diseased." There is a stigma attached to being infected and that keeps the circle and cycle of passing it along unbroken. My girlfriend's ex got mad when she asked him to get tested ("What, you think I have something?) and sure nuff, she ended up with an STD...and he had the nerve to try and BLAME it on HER and how she "burned" him and TOLD HIS AND HER FRIENDS!! She pulled out her records of testing from a month before they started dating and it was clean and asked "Where's yours?" He finally admitted that he thought he had something and was scared to go get checked and thank GOD what they had was curable. And yes, she stayed with him.
~*Janelle~*
Women are usually the ones to take the initiative to go to the doctors, get tested and what not, but men tend to be a bit lax in comparison. And yes, if I was sexually active, best believe I would be marching myself down to the clinic as well. We can never be too safe and I doubt anyone in their right mind who caught an STD from, lets say, a 1 nighter thought "Well, that person looks diseased." There is a stigma attached to being infected and that keeps the circle and cycle of passing it along unbroken.
My girlfriend's ex got mad when she asked him to get tested ("What, you think I have something?) and sure nuff, she ended up with an STD...and he had the nerve to try and BLAME it on HER and how she "burned" him and TOLD HIS AND HER FRIENDS!! She pulled out her records of testing from a month before they started dating and it was clean and asked "Where's yours?" He finally admitted that he thought he had something and was scared to go get checked and thank GOD what they had was curable. And yes, she stayed with him.~*Janelle~*
Amour
Well-Known Member
S.O and I are waiting for marriage and while I am a virgin, he's not. He got tested for all STDs for World Aids day to ease both of our fears since he was once sexually active and had to know about his personal health (never was tested before) and for my own sake (I told him I wouldn't even THINK about marriage if I didn't have those test results in my hand)
We can never be too safe and I doubt anyone in their right mind who caught an STD from, lets say, a 1 nighter thought "Well, that person looks diseased." There is a stigma attached to being infected and that keeps the circle and cycle of passing it along unbroken.
~*Janelle~*
thats mind boogolging
Country gal
Well-Known Member
Yes, I get tested too and show my results. Do you ever use the clinics on wheels? You tend to see the trucks during HIV Awareness Day.
Butterfly08
New Member
song_of_serenity
Well-Known Member
I think beyond that is the fact that she stayed with him even AFTER that.Isn't it?! That lying freak put her on blast and knew all along he was the culprit.
Typical "Run, cry to you how bad she's being mistreated, how he's this and that" and the next week, down playing it and suddenly he's soo nice, and getting mad and suddenly having to hang up the phobe/ leave your place when you start reminding her of how he did her (numerous times) in the relationship. And not just him, EVERY guy she ever dealt with.The only reason he's now her ex is because HE left her. *sigh* I spent so much time trying to uplift this girl's self-esteem and she always chose the lowest of the low! I'm grateful she didn't catch anything (as far as I know) that was incurable, because it really only takes one time and this was a LTR. She's been cut off long time, but after she tried adding me on myspace and I peeked and saw she was living the same drama.
UGH, let me get back on topic before I get mad! LOL. Please get tested ladies, and make sure THEY do, too. Even guys who treat you like a queen may not EVEN KNOW they are carrying a disease because not all the symptoms may be across the board as typical.
~*Janelle~*
yes to the get tested--i can wait two weeks until it goes down
and yes protection---
its a topic i bring up quite early on--no surpises for him---im too old for the playin games--or to be giggly googly over some you know what-so its either you with it or not--
bleep comes a dime a dozen so its not that serious-- get tested or beat it
and yes protection---
its a topic i bring up quite early on--no surpises for him---im too old for the playin games--or to be giggly googly over some you know what-so its either you with it or not--
bleep comes a dime a dozen so its not that serious-- get tested or beat it
Amour
Well-Known Member
after I posted this, I thought of adding that option as well. I should have added the following options
yes.... then we use condoms
yes... but we then don't use condoms
no... but we use condoms
no.... and we don't use condoms
MD_Lady
Well-Known Member
I most DEFINTELY do!!
I have been in a LONG relationship (7 years) so if/when this one ends 
and I do start dating again, I will DEFINATELY being asking the MR to show me some papers and ofcourse I will do the same thing if he wishes coz I am an extra paranoid person when it comes to my health.
Even after he shows me his test results I will be asking for another one in three months, just to cover the 3 month window period. Call me crazy, but I'm NOT taking ANY chances. Too many men and women just don't care enough. It's a sad epidemic.
and I do start dating again, I will DEFINATELY being asking the MR to show me some papers and ofcourse I will do the same thing if he wishes coz I am an extra paranoid person when it comes to my health.Even after he shows me his test results I will be asking for another one in three months, just to cover the 3 month window period
. Call me crazy, but I'm NOT taking ANY chances. Too many men and women just don't care enough. It's a sad epidemic.
Last edited:
Can I just say that I'm so glad to see that the ladies in this forum have some good heads on their shoulders 
Coz' believe me, I know some weird girls that seem to think they can just sleep with anyone and they're invincible...But they keep getting pregnant and God knows what else. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT.
Coz' believe me, I know some weird girls that seem to think they can just sleep with anyone and they're invincible...But they keep getting pregnant and God knows what else. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT.
nodisrespect
New Member
I get tested yearly with my annual. I do not get tested before I sleep with someone new because we will be using condoms. To me it sounds too much like "ok I'm about to sleep with this guy so let me go get tested and we'll do it raw." Even if you both are clean at the time, he could sneak out on you and get something during the course of the relationship and pass it on to you. Does this post imply that people are having unprotected sex with every new partner (as long as they get checked first)? No wonder there are so many "baby daddies" out there.
True story: the health services on my campus released the statistics on STDs and 64% of women on my campus with STDs were black. We are a campus of about 25k and black students are about 11% of the total population.
True story: the health services on my campus released the statistics on STDs and 64% of women on my campus with STDs were black. We are a campus of about 25k and black students are about 11% of the total population.
Isis
New Member
If a guy gets mad because he was asked to get tested, usually it's because he has something to hide. A man who truly loves and cares a woman he wants to be intimate with will do whatever is required of him, willingly. A really good man will offer to get tested without being asked.S.O and I are waiting for marriage and while I am a virgin, he's not. He got tested for all STDs for World Aids day to ease both of our fears since he was once sexually active and had to know about his personal health (never was tested before) and for my own sake (I told him I wouldn't even THINK about marriage if I didn't have those test results in my hand)
We can never be too safe and I doubt anyone in their right mind who caught an STD from, lets say, a 1 nighter thought "Well, that person looks diseased." There is a stigma attached to being infected and that keeps the circle and cycle of passing it along unbroken.
~*Janelle~*
locabouthair
Well-Known Member
wow at the statistics.
IMO, if a man's not your husband, then protection should be used but test results should be gotten regardless. Herpes and HPV can be transmitted without condoms. And condoms can always break. Better to be safe that sorry. In the future any guy i ask and he says no, gots to go.
I remember I was talking to this guy once and on our maybe 4th convo he asked me when was the last time i got an AIDS test. Now part of me was like um, how did you figure we were gonna have sex? Cuz that wasn't even on my mind. But then I had a lot of respect for him just for asking me that. Many men don't. That means that he is trying to be on top of his sexual health and that's VERY attractive.
Last edited:
the point is to get tested and use a condom--
it would be an oxymoron to get tested and not use a condom
question- do you think getting tested once a yr is enough? if you are sexually active on an ongoing regular basis
it would be an oxymoron to get tested and not use a condom
question- do you think getting tested once a yr is enough? if you are sexually active on an ongoing regular basis
nodisrespect
New Member
Yup. I find that when you have a long term partner you know and trust, it's not an issue. I tend to have long term sexual relationships. If I were the type of person who had multiple partners every year, then no, I wouldn't think it is enough. I've yet to have had an STD so apparently something I'm doing is working. I'm assuming you know this already, but when you go to the doctor, they are more concerned with the amount of sexual partners you maintain than the amount of times you get a check up; once a year is usually the recommendation, and I've never heard otherwise except for people who are at greater risk for developing cervical cancer. And even then, it only gets upped to twice a year. Now if my sex life were so active that every other month I had a new partner, then I could see why it would be of more concern to me to get checked up more frequently. How many men would one have to be fcking to be concerned with getting an STD several times a year? If one is sleeping with one guy and still that concerned about contracting something, then clearly he isn't a good person to have sex with.
Last edited:
so true--i agree with the bolded
if you have a SO, husband boyfriend that you've been with for 100 yrs there are diseases that one can still get--so getting tested would be wise no matter what--it has nothing to do with trust or etc etc--its about ppl who are intimate and diseases that can be given orally or etc
if i have a husband i will get tested--if i have a bf for 100 yrs i will get tested---but my point is not getting tested becuz ur married---come one now--lol--or becuz ur husband comes home every night-or youve been with ur man for 100 yrs has nothing to do with it---ppl cheat--men cheat--women--cheat--
the same husband who comes home every nite can be screwing on his lunch break dont get it twisted---leaves his wedding band on his desk and screwing susie q
the same bf who you've been in a rlp for 5 yrs --and he just proposed can be screwing on his lunch break---so do what you do--but lets be real--"trust" is not goin stop you or anyone else from being a victim of the disease
if you have a SO, husband boyfriend that you've been with for 100 yrs there are diseases that one can still get--so getting tested would be wise no matter what--it has nothing to do with trust or etc etc--its about ppl who are intimate and diseases that can be given orally or etc
if i have a husband i will get tested--if i have a bf for 100 yrs i will get tested---but my point is not getting tested becuz ur married---come one now--lol--or becuz ur husband comes home every night-or youve been with ur man for 100 yrs has nothing to do with it---ppl cheat--men cheat--women--cheat--
the same husband who comes home every nite can be screwing on his lunch break dont get it twisted---leaves his wedding band on his desk and screwing susie q
the same bf who you've been in a rlp for 5 yrs --and he just proposed can be screwing on his lunch break---so do what you do--but lets be real--"trust" is not goin stop you or anyone else from being a victim of the disease
wow at the statistics.
IMO, if a man's not your husband, then protection should be used but test results should be gotten regardless. Herpes and HPV can be transmitted without condoms. And condoms can always break. Better to be safe that sorry. In the future any guy i ask and he says no, gots to go.
I remember I was talking to this guy once and on our maybe 4th convo he asked me when was the last time i got an AIDS test. Now part of me was like um, how did you figure we were gonna have sex? Cuz that wasn't even on my mind. But then I had a lot of respect for him just for asking me that. Many men don't. That means that he is trying to be on top of his sexual health and that's VERY attractive.
nodisrespect
New Member
I always find it funny to see such strict talk on the internet when in reality the statistics don't match up. That is all rhetoric. I'm not speaking about doing things in extremes because I know in my real life I do not act in extremes. I'm not going to sit on the internet and say "I get tested 12 times a year just to make sure that I'm still clean" because there is no way in the world I'm going to do that nor do I feel it's necessary. It's easy to say, theoretically, "yeah you can't trust anyone" but in reality, people do not enter or maintain or behave in relationships like that. I suppose what I'm trying to say is, I take posts and replies like the ones in this thread with a grain of salt, because if black women were so super cautious and super extreme with their sexual health (as is being implied here), there is no way in the world our community would be in the condition it is right now. My routine is what keeps me healthy, and I'm not going to pretend it's more strict than it really is just to make myself look good on the 'net... truthfully I can't imagine what kind of lifestyle would make it necessary to get tested so frequently, and I don't really want to find out...
I have been in a LONG relationship (7 years) so if/when this one ends
Even after he shows me his test results I will be asking for another one in three months, just to cover the 3 month window period
Spinoff????
Similar threads
- Poll
