S.O and I are waiting for marriage and while I am a virgin, he's not. He got tested for all STDs for World Aids day to ease both of our fears since he was once sexually active and had to know about his personal health (never was tested before) and for my own sake (I told him I wouldn't even THINK about marriage if I didn't have those test results in my hand) Women are usually the ones to take the initiative to go to the doctors, get tested and what not, but men tend to be a bit lax in comparison. And yes, if I was sexually active, best believe I would be marching myself down to the clinic as well.
We can never be too safe and I doubt anyone in their right mind who caught an STD from, lets say, a 1 nighter thought "Well, that person looks diseased." There is a stigma attached to being infected and that keeps the circle and cycle of passing it along unbroken. My girlfriend's ex got mad when she asked him to get tested ("What, you think I have something?) and sure nuff, she ended up with an STD...and he had the nerve to try and BLAME it on HER and how she "burned" him and TOLD HIS AND HER FRIENDS!! She pulled out her records of testing from a month before they started dating and it was clean and asked "Where's yours?" He finally admitted that he thought he had something and was scared to go get checked and thank GOD what they had was curable. And yes, she stayed with him.
~*Janelle~*
thats mind boogolging
I think beyond that is the fact that she stayed with him even AFTER that. Typical "Run, cry to you how bad she's being mistreated, how he's this and that" and the next week, down playing it and suddenly he's soo nice, and getting mad and suddenly having to hang up the phobe/ leave your place when you start reminding her of how he did her (numerous times) in the relationship. And not just him, EVERY guy she ever dealt with.Isn't it?! That lying freak put her on blast and knew all along he was the culprit.
Do you ladies still use condoms after geting his negative (hopefully) test results?
...with a new partner. Do you make sure they get tested for STDs etc?
eta: I should have mentioned that i'm not referring to myself; just curious as to what is general practice amogst ladies here
If a guy gets mad because he was asked to get tested, usually it's because he has something to hide. A man who truly loves and cares a woman he wants to be intimate with will do whatever is required of him, willingly. A really good man will offer to get tested without being asked.S.O and I are waiting for marriage and while I am a virgin, he's not. He got tested for all STDs for World Aids day to ease both of our fears since he was once sexually active and had to know about his personal health (never was tested before) and for my own sake (I told him I wouldn't even THINK about marriage if I didn't have those test results in my hand) Women are usually the ones to take the initiative to go to the doctors, get tested and what not, but men tend to be a bit lax in comparison. And yes, if I was sexually active, best believe I would be marching myself down to the clinic as well.
We can never be too safe and I doubt anyone in their right mind who caught an STD from, lets say, a 1 nighter thought "Well, that person looks diseased." There is a stigma attached to being infected and that keeps the circle and cycle of passing it along unbroken. My girlfriend's ex got mad when she asked him to get tested ("What, you think I have something?) and sure nuff, she ended up with an STD...and he had the nerve to try and BLAME it on HER and how she "burned" him and TOLD HIS AND HER FRIENDS!! She pulled out her records of testing from a month before they started dating and it was clean and asked "Where's yours?" He finally admitted that he thought he had something and was scared to go get checked and thank GOD what they had was curable. And yes, she stayed with him.
~*Janelle~*
I get tested yearly with my annual. I do not get tested before I sleep with someone new because we will be using condoms. To me it sounds too much like "ok I'm about to sleep with this guy so let me go get tested and we'll do it raw." Even if you both are clean at the time, he could sneak out on you and get something during the course of the relationship and pass it on to you. Does this post imply that people are having unprotected sex with every new partner (as long as they get checked first)? No wonder there are so many "baby daddies" out there.
True story: the health services on my campus released the statistics on STDs and 64% of women on my campus with STDs were black. We are a campus of about 25k and black students are about 11% of the total population.
I get tested yearly with my annual. I do not get tested before I sleep with someone new because we will be using condoms. To me it sounds too much like "ok I'm about to sleep with this guy so let me go get tested and we'll do it raw." Even if you both are clean at the time, he could sneak out on you and get something during the course of the relationship and pass it on to you. Does this post imply that people are having unprotected sex with every new partner (as long as they get checked first)? No wonder there are so many "baby daddies" out there.
True story: the health services on my campus released the statistics on STDs and 64% of women on my campus with STDs were black. We are a campus of about 25k and black students are about 11% of the total population.
wow at the statistics.
IMO, if a man's not your husband, then protection should be used but test results should be gotten regardless. Herpes and HPV can be transmitted without condoms. And condoms can always break. Better to be safe that sorry. In the future any guy i ask and he says no, gots to go.
I remember I was talking to this guy once and on our maybe 4th convo he asked me when was the last time i got an AIDS test. Now part of me was like um, how did you figure we were gonna have sex? Cuz that wasn't even on my mind. But then I had a lot of respect for him just for asking me that. Many men don't. That means that he is trying to be on top of his sexual health and that's VERY attractive.
I have been in a LONG relationship (7 years) so if/when this one ends and I do start dating again, I will DEFINATELY being asking the MR to show me some papers and ofcourse I will do the same thing if he wishes coz I am an extra paranoid person when it comes to my health.
Even after he shows me his test results I will be asking for another one in three months, just to cover the 3 month window period. Call me crazy, but I'm NOT taking ANY chances. Too many men and women just don't care enough. It's a sad epidemic.