Be honest: Do you trust your Dh/SO??

[yardyspice]

Projection?

That's my fear yes. Also I doesnt help that I walked into this relationship with trust issues

 

[allmundjoi]

I trust him.

Sorry OP. I have gfs who feel the same way about their dh/bf. It makes it hard for them to be happy.

 

[TayMac]

Well now that you have round the root of the issue, you know what to discuss in counseling.

It's not going to just go away and continuing to do something you aren't comfortable with will definitely cause issues.

I'm sure there are some boards dedicated to the lifestyle that may address some of your concerns.

 

[hopeful]

You are going to have to find a therapist you can trust. Find someone who specializing in working with gay/bi people, trust issues, and/or sexual issues. Just be patient and determined and you will find someone who can help you. A caring professional should be able to help you resolve these issues or at least make peace with them. It sounds like you and your husband really love each other. Don't give up on your marriage just yet, I think that would break both of your hearts. Focus on finding the courage to see a therapist. When you first talk most will give you time to get to the meaty issues. The first few sessions can be dedicated to less intense issues and you becoming comfortable. It sounds like you have a lot going on and you deserve some relief.

 

[MD_Lady]

I trust my husband with my life. I don't know what the bold means:

...You see the thing is, I don't trust anyone..especially men. I have been conditioned to believe all of them cheat. I'm afraid that my feelings may become my reality. I always accuse him of cheating or plotting to cheat. He gets really hurt by these comments..but i just figure he's getting defensive because it's true. I'm honestly thinking about just getting a divorce and not getting involved with anyone. My husband and I aren't saints..never have been. That's all I'm going to say about that...

but unless your husband has cheated on you, you really should stop accusing him of doing so. IMO, it says a lot about your mindset that you automatically assume his response is a reflection of current infidelity instead of hurt and anger about being accused of violating his vows. Again, only you know how your husband has conducted himself within your marriage, but based on what you say in blue, it sounds like you're projecting your feelings about men onto your husband. Again, IMO, your primary focus should be on working on the trust issues you brought into your relationship. I don't think you can pursue couples counseling until you've resolved this issue.

 

[Qtee]

Actually it was my idea to get in the lifestyle. There were things i wanted to try. I have said I wanted to stop, but would change my mind...so i was crying wolf. I'm afraid if i really mean it this time sh would go into Wtf mode. I got the most pleasure out of the lifestyle than he did. I.wont get into detail. So its a matter of really sticking to my guns

Why stop..If its too personal..I understand..but I'm just wondering..