Would you be OK with him going to 'those' countries?

[Raspberry]

I would have a serious problem with this.

Outta all the places to vacation, he just happens to pick the rent some a-- capitals of the world?

Where there is smoke there is fire.

If this was a case of, the Superbowl is in city xyz and me and the boys are planning a trip that would be a whole different thing. I'd be like cool, see you when you get back, but Brazil or Thailand nga? Really?

I agree. If my man was into cave exploration, extreme camping, exotic wildlife, etc that would be one thing... But purposely hanging out in isolated international entertainment with mostly single friends and uninhibited women? Men don't go somewhere far away just to sit around and talk..

 

[SmileyNY]

I'm not going to lie.... I'd feel some type of way. That doesn't mean I wouldn't let him go... Because I know I love my girls trips lol.

I just feel men hang out differently than women. I can see men hanging out for a few hours having drinks or watching a game... But I find it hard to picture a group of guys hanging out for DAYS on end just high fiving eachother all day without women in the mix someway, somehow.

 

[jamaicasmodona]

You all make valid points and I agree.. In MY situation, I know his freinds.. Have known them since we started dating 14yrs ago and known them before they had relationships. Because of that, I don't mind. My husband is the chill type.. He'd prefer to be by the pool or sitting at the beach with his drink and a couple cigars. When we go on vacations together, I have to force him to explore off the resort or even do other things besides lounging.. Therefore, for me, I'm not concerned too much. I have expressed to him before he left that there will be consequences in the event that ish does go down, so I can only hope he keeps that in mind while on his trip.

If he were going with friends that I didn't know, or who are single, then, it would be more reason for concern. At the end of the day, he is a grown man and I will not put a restriction on what/where he can go/do. To ME, the cat can be thrown at him anywhere, even at work.. Am I going to tell him he can't work? LOL..

Please keep in mind that I am only speaking about how we do things in OUR marriage, therefore, I am NOT trying to bash anyone elses marriage or relationship.. TIA

 

[FearlessNik]

I've been on a boys trip to thailand (99% of my coworkers are men and I don't have anyone else to travel with). Ladies don't trust your men over there. Even the happily married ones. Sex is pushed so hard it ridiculous and everyone is in on it. The Tuk Tuk drivers, bar people, scouts, activities coordinators, everyone. Sex sells over there and it most definately helps the 'economy'. It's sin city.

 

[pearcey]

I suppose it wouldn't be any different than for those men or women whose spouses get deployed while in the armed forces

or spouses into financing, international dealings, etc.

trust is trust - is trust is...

trust

 

[Fine 4s]

I've been on a boys trip to thailand (99% of my coworkers are men and I don't have anyone else to travel with). Ladies don't trust your men over there. Even the happily married ones. Sex is pushed so hard it ridiculous and everyone is in on it. The Tuk Tuk drivers, bar people, scouts, activities coordinators, everyone. Sex sells over there and it most definately helps the 'economy'. It's sin city.

"Why you think they call it Bang-Kok?" LOL
Happily married doesn't mean much when it comes to extra curricular activities. It boils down to values and not a lot of folks have strong ones or at least they're still working on it....

 

[Fine 4s]

You all make valid points and I agree.. In MY situation, I know his freinds.. Have known them since we started dating 14yrs ago and known them before they had relationships. Because of that, I don't mind. My husband is the chill type.. He'd prefer to be by the pool or sitting at the beach with his drink and a couple cigars. When we go on vacations together, I have to force him to explore off the resort or even do other things besides lounging.. Therefore, for me, I'm not concerned too much. I have expressed to him before he left that there will be consequences in the event that ish does go down, so I can only hope he keeps that in mind while on his trip.

If he were going with friends that I didn't know, or who are single, then, it would be more reason for concern. At the end of the day, he is a grown man and I will not put a restriction on what/where he can go/do. To ME, the cat can be thrown at him anywhere, even at work.. Am I going to tell him he can't work? LOL..

Please keep in mind that I am only speaking about how we do things in OUR marriage, therefore, I am NOT trying to bash anyone elses marriage or relationship.. TIA

How do you enforce this or monitor this? I'm assuming that if some ish goes down in Thailand you simply will never know...

That's what makes it so difficult, you can tell someone what they will and will not do. Ooooooooor caaaaan you? lol

 

[PeaceFlow]

TBH I think the attached man should decline the offer if that's what they are going there to do. I don't see why they would go in the first place if they know the set up.

 

[lux10023]

very good point, where does it end if your husband or SO is a pilot, in the army/airforce, has an international job, travels for work- where would it end
a vacation to DR, a business conference out of town or a business trip to NYC its all the same thing to me

trust is trust, if I'm forbidding my dh from going to an exotic island with his friends, I may as well just lock his *** up in the house all day lmaooo

if one scrolled through the craigslist nsa ads and counted all of the men in town for business posts- one would conclude a man doesn't have to go to Brazil to meet a Brazilian

I suppose it wouldn't be any different than for those men or women whose spouses get deployed while in the armed forces

or spouses into financing, international dealings, etc.

trust is trust - is trust is...

trust

 

[NOEChic]

very good point, where does it end if your husband or SO is a pilot, in the army/airforce, has an international job, travels for work- where would it end
a vacation to DR, a business conference out of town or a business trip to NYC its all the same thing to me

trust is trust, if I'm forbidding my dh from going to an exotic island with his friends, I may as well just lock his *** up in the house all day lmaooo

if one scrolled through the craigslist nsa ads and counted all of the men in town for business posts- one would conclude a man doesn't have to go to Brazil to meet a Brazilian

Ok!!!! Bc I can't tell you how many times I've been approached for sex tdy or when someone has a layover in my city from a tdy or pcs.

And ladies going out of town for weekend trips with the girls and as soon as they drive around the block they man have a girl knocking on the door.

 

[Lilmama1011]

I would feel some type of way because for a vacation or a trip he would usually want to take me, he don't care if his boys say guys only, he would still take me and can careless what his friends say. I wouldn't think he would cheat but I would feel left out

 

[yardyspice]

No major trips without me after we start dating seriously.

 

[ladysaraii]

I would feel some type of way because for a vacation or a trip he would usually want to take me, he don't care if his boys say guys only, he would still take me and can careless what his friends say. I wouldn't think he would cheat but I would feel left out

I would feel some type of way if I went on a girl's trip and my friend brought her bf so he wouldn't feel left out. She'd just need to stay at home, imo

 

[Lilmama1011]

I would feel some type of way if I went on a girl's trip and my friend brought her bf so he wouldn't feel left out. She'd just need to stay at home, imo

That's why it depends on how the relationship is ran and how the friends are . If I was single and me and my friend went on a trip and she told me her man was coming I wouldn't mind as long as he wasn't in our face all day long. And if he was in our face I would say something. I haven't done much traveling myself and I would want my first experiences to be with my SO

 

[secretdiamond]

You ladies are making me feel like I should be worried...

I go on girls trips all the time like to PR.
He's on a boys trip with his childhood friends in DR right now for a bachelor party thing for his best friend who is getting married.

I was not worried because I trust him. I had no interest in going because we just came from DR a few months ago for our anniversary trip. We have been texting and emailing since he landed. But now, I feel like I should be worried. Don't think I would have stopped him from going though....

Maybe we should have a discussion that from now on, no trips without each other.... but whenever a couple has that rule on reality shows, the world makes it seem like the other spouse is being too controlling. So, which one is it?

 

[Lilmama1011]

You ladies are making me feel like I should be worried...

I go on girls trips all the time like to PR.
He's on a boys trip with his childhood friends in DR right now for a bachelor party thing for his best friend who is getting married.

I was not worried because I trust him. I had no interest in going because we just came from DR a few months ago for our anniversary trip. We have been texting and emailing since he landed. But now, I feel like I should be worried. Don't think I would have stopped him from going though....

Maybe we should have a discussion that from now on, no trips without each other.... but whenever a couple has that rule on reality shows, the world makes it seem like the other spouse is being too controlling. So, which one is it?

I say forget what everyone else says, it's no one else's relationship, if the way you run your relationships works for you I say continue to do what you do

 

[tinkat]

My SO went to Costa Rica with some friends back in Oct. I didn't have an issue. He was going to go regardless of what I said anyway (and I would do the same). If anything I was concerned that he made it there and back safely. He did tell me that next time he was bringing me. SO said it was a trip to bring a lady to.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[Foxglove]

You ladies are making me feel like I should be worried...

I go on girls trips all the time like to PR.
He's on a boys trip with his childhood friends in DR right now for a bachelor party thing for his best friend who is getting married.

I was not worried because I trust him. I had no interest in going because we just came from DR a few months ago for our anniversary trip. We have been texting and emailing since he landed. But now, I feel like I should be worried. Don't think I would have stopped him from going though....

Maybe we should have a discussion that from now on, no trips without each other.... but whenever a couple has that rule on reality shows, the world makes it seem like the other spouse is being too controlling. So, which one is it?

You know your SO better than anybody on this board. If you're going to make changes like that with your relationship do it because it's warranted or because he did something to make you distrust him, not because some internet people said so

 

[secretdiamond]

You know your SO better than anybody on this board. If you're going to make changes like that with your relationship do it because it's warranted or because he did something to make you distrust him, not because some internet people said so

Thanks, but it just so happens to come at a time when my mother was giving me flack for the same thing. And not knowing the exact thing he is doing there every minute, every location, etc. I shrugged her off & laughed. Then the next day, I see this thread. Was just feeling some kind of way for a sec....
I'm cool now. I trust him & really have no need to worry.

 

[NOEChic]

Thanks, but it just so happens to come at a time when my mother was giving me flack for the same thing. And not knowing the exact thing he is doing there every minute, every location, etc. I shrugged her off & laughed. Then the next day, I see this thread. Was just feeling some kind of way for a sec....
I'm cool now. I trust him & really have no need to worry.

Don't let your mom ruin your relationship.

 

[FemmeCreole]

You ladies are making me feel like I should be worried...

I go on girls trips all the time like to PR.
He's on a boys trip with his childhood friends in DR right now for a bachelor party thing for his best friend who is getting married.

I was not worried because I trust him. I had no interest in going because we just came from DR a few months ago for our anniversary trip. We have been texting and emailing since he landed. But now, I feel like I should be worried. Don't think I would have stopped him from going though....

Maybe we should have a discussion that from now on, no trips without each other.... but whenever a couple has that rule on reality shows, the world makes it seem like the other spouse is being too controlling. So, which one is it?

Girl don't let random women make you feel insecure in your relationship. You gonna switch things up because some folks who know nothing about your relationship have issues in theirs?

 

[Crackers Phinn]

He's on a boys trip with his childhood friends in DR right now for a bachelor party thing for his best friend who is getting married.

Are any of them from the DR? I woud say that makes a difference.

 

[SUPER SWEET]

I know a group of Pastors that did a renewal of themselves in DR last year. They wanted clear skies, beaches and no distractions of members.. My goddad was the ring leader in setting up the trip. And if yall remember he was a cheater in the U.S.

 

[secretdiamond]

Are any of them from the DR? I woud say that makes a difference.

No. They are from the caribbean, but not DR. They all flew from different parts of the US.

 

[Lenee925]

Girl don't let random women make you feel insecure in your relationship. You gonna switch things up because some folks who know nothing about your relationship have issues in theirs?

I agree and like I said in my post "take with a grain of salt". I know what I would feel and I doubt any of the other girls who posted are trying to make anyone feel insecure.

At the end of the day, your relationship is just that...YOURS.

 

[jamaicasmodona]

How do you enforce this or monitor this? I'm assuming that if some ish goes down in Thailand you simply will never know...

That's what makes it so difficult, you can tell someone what they will and will not do. Ooooooooor caaaaan you? lol

I enforce it by explaining the consequences of his actions.. If something goes down, yes, I may never know, but if I find out now our later, its a wrap..
As I stated, I can only trust and believe that he'll do right by his family..

Sent from my Galaxy S II using LHCF