All together?

[CarmelCupcake]

I know that maybe i could be looking into it too deeply but many times when my so and I are out maybe at a restaurant, a convenience store, etc., we will get ready to pay for the items and many times the cashier will ask, all together or are you two together. I think to myself, hello, yea we are standing right next to each other and talking to each other so why are you asking if we're together. It never fails, it is always a white lady asking this. The black ladies never ask this question....I remember people on LHCF have stated that when they are out with their SO who is white, they get asked this a lot. My SO is light skinned and I am brown skinned so I don't know if this has something to do with it but it just urks me some times. Anyone else ever experience this?

 

[CaraWalker]

no. when i went grocery shopping with my ex, he pulled out his card to pay and that would be all. do you often have separate purchases in your hands or something? i dont see why theyd ask if everything was together if everything all went through at once. and who asks that at a restaurant? if there is one card, there will be one payment.

 

[CarmelCupcake]

no. when i went grocery shopping with my ex, he pulled out his card to pay and that would be all. do you often have separate purchases in your hands or something? i dont see why theyd ask if everything was together if everything all went through at once. and who asks that at a restaurant? if there is one card, there will be one payment.

For example, we were at Aunti Anne's deciding together what pretzels we wanted to get and the lady asks, all togehter.....so annoying. Now that I think about it, I didn't mean to say restaurant, I mean if its at a small food shop.

 

[CaraWalker]

i think if two people both order something at one time it is sensible to ask if the separate purchases are together. in a grocery store or restaurant, no. at a counter, yes.

 

[jsmile7]

I get asked this from time to time when I'm out with my SO at a convenience store or supermarket. I don't take offense. Usually we both have different items in hand and place them together on the counter. I think the cashier doesn't want to assume that one person is paying for everything and just wants to be sure that the items get rung up correctly

 

[pre_medicalrulz]

Hmmm not really. However we tried a new church recently & a woman in the front row turned around to ask if we were a couple or friends. My SO said I was his woman. So she goes on to say, oooohhh we have so many interracial couples here! I even married a black man! My daughters married a black man too! Lol smh

 

[Holla]

This happens even when you are out shopping with your girlfriends. Has nothing to do with your relationship.

 

[hopeful]

I think it may also be age-related as well as how long you two have been together. No one ever says that to me and my dh because I think people just know we are together. Not many women my age are just hanging out with a guy friend like that and I always order first then he orders and immediately gets his money out. My dh is also very take-charge. I have also noticed that lots of young couples pay separately, black and white. I even see more young women paying for both which takes me aback. All that said, I would still not be surprised if some of the white cashiers are acting kinda funny because some of them seem so surprised and frustrated that many of our men love us and pay for us and aren't paying them any attention at all.

 

[Fine 4s]

I'm oblivious to that question.
Sometimes I did have my separate purchases even if I was standing next to him. I felt weird especially if he's paying for groceries that I'm taking home to eat by my darn self. Lol

 

[CaraWalker]

i can only recall one instance off the top of my head where a white girl was losing her mind because i was with a white guy, and we were just friends not a couple at all. we were picking up a pizza and standing at the counter to pay. she kept laughing loudly and nervously and shooting awkward glances back and forth between us. i wanted to tell her damn girlfriend we are not together, chill out. she acted like she had never seen a black woman before, let alone one hanging out with a white man.

 

[MsKinkycurl]

I get asked sometimes and never thought anything of it. The cashier doesn't know who we are to each other or how we share our money. Sometimes I'm glad they ask bc I will be preparing to pay for my items and SO will step up and pay for everything.

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