a man's advice to bw

[lea86111]

PLEASE WAIT TIL ALL POST ARE DONE TO COMMENT, as i am typing this from my phone, therefore there are gonna be multiple post as my phone doesnt allow me to do long posts.

i found this on the internet and thought it would be interesting. So, here goes nothing:

bottom line, if i sleep with a womn i don't know or care about, SEX is not going to make me care. (i stopped that years ago) that kind of sex is like scratching an itch. Once a man scratches, he's through. He ain't sitting around thinking about that spot that itched or how good it felt scratching it. He's moving on with his life until that spot itches again and it doesnt matter which hand he scratches it with.
too many women PRETEND they can handle a sexual fling, but wind up getting caught up and wanting a relationship when it's NOTHING but a booty call. C'mon ladies, you are part of the problem. You sleep with us BEFORE you know us or what we're about. Having sex with a man does not make a relationship, many women will deny they think like

 

[lea86111]

thid but i'm speaking from personal experience. Also, ladies know when their men are fooling around and still turn a blind eye by getting mad at the other woman. Now why should that woman make YOU (a total stranger) a priority in her life? If HE DID NOT MARRY YOU, HE IS STILL SINGLE. The other woman is not breaking up a happy home. Many women marry men who are cheating BEFORE they walked down the aisle and then are SHOCKED that a fancy wedding dress or an expensive walk down the aisle did not change who he was. Why should he change? You let him know it was acceptable by sticking around that long. Ladies start living with your eyes OPEN. Most shady men give themselves up before the first 30 days. Women have to stop rewarding unfaithful men by pretending it aint happening. All of us do not cheat ladies so do not buy the hype. I know other BM who do not but many men will cheat if there are no real penalties for it. Stop jumping into bed with brothers YOU DO NOT KNOW. That means fewer opportunities

 

[lea86111]

for men to cheat. Women have to STOP being so afraid to ask the important questions that would reveal his TRUE lifestyle. Worry less about what kind of job he has or what kind of car he drives and encourage him to talk about his past, especially his past with women. Does he put down his ex women and blame them for everything? And dont be so vain, you are not a better woman than his last. If he dogged her out, you will probably ne NEXT. Observe him when you are with him. Do you have his house #? Work #? Have you seen where he lives? Where he works? Is he secretive? Did you ask if he's married or engaged? How does he treat other people? Listen to what he says, NOT what you want to hear. STOP INTERPRETING the meaning of what he says to fit your purpose. If he says "i'm not looking for nothing right now" dont tell yourself "aw, he's just scared of getting hurt. I can change his mind" NO YOU CANT, he said exactly what the hel he meant. BM dont have to lie when so many BW are already DEAF. IF YOU

 

[qchelle]

So I'm going to disobey you and post because I have no self control

girl...why are you posting this....from your phone? Was this THAT urgent that you couldn't wait til you got home to post? (you don't have to answer...just continue posting them. I just needed to get my thoughts out)

Anywho, I apologize for the interruption. Continue.

 

[lea86111]

cant answer BASIC questions about a man DONT OPEN YOUR LEGS. I could kinda understand back then whe sex wouldnt KILL people but now? There is no excuse and if a BW takes that huge risk of sleeping with a STRANGER then she better protect herself physically AND emotionally. Show our *** to the door if we pressure you for sex too soon. Dont be afraid to be alone. After you give our *** some, you will probably be alone anyways but now you feel like a fool. In other words, take your time and check us out. If we REALLY like you, we'll stick around BUT if you decide to sleep with a man you hardly know, PROTECT yourself and keep your expectations to ZERO. We do not owe you a relationship or another date just cause you have sex with us. I have too many female friends who give me horror stories that could have been avoided if they had done their homework first OR moved slower before giving up the panties. I try as a BM to give them the best advice i can but that wont mean a thing if BW continue to live in a

 

[Rosebud01]

I don't think this is race specific... just common sense that ALL women should apply.

 

[lea86111]

dream world. You are TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE for your own sexual behaviour the same as i am. Blaming the man wont change a damn thing. BW have to look in the mirror and take some of the blame for whats wrong with BW/BM relationships. Let me end by saying

SEX DOES NOT = A RELATIONSHIP
GIVING A MAN A READY MADE FAMILY WILL NOT MAKE HIM COMMIT IF HE DOESNT WANT TO
A MAN WILL NOT RESPECT A WOMAN WHO DOESN NOT RESPECT HERSELF OR HER BODY
IF YOU HAVE SEX FOR MATERIAL THINGS YOU ARE PROSTITUTING YOURSELF
IF HE DOESNT TAKE CARE OF HIS OTHER CHILDREN WHY WOULD YOU HAVE A BABY WITH HIM?
IF YOU REWARD A DOG, WHY SHOULD MEN CHANGE?

 

[lea86111]

qchelle i am @ home, i am bored and aint got ish else to do so i had this printed out and thought id share. I dont have internet so thats the reason y im doing this frm my phone. I always post on here frm my phone

Rosebud01 i totally agree its not race specific either but dude that wrote it was black and he posted it on a black website. Also maybe he doesnt have ww around and doesnt know abt them therefore chose to speak directly to bw. Who knows

 

[runwaydream]

good stuff. i agree w. it all. but i agree that it pertains to all races

 

[Rosebud01]

I totally agree with him though... the sad thing is that some of us learn this the hard way

 

[lesedi]

A lot of valid points. Don't agree with everything but the vast majority is COMMON SENSE!! You are not schooling us brotha, we know this already.....it's called instinct.
Gotta give him the sideye with him making sure to specify that this is for black women only..

 

[ThickHair]

That sounds like it is from Steve Harvey's boy Big Boom's book. It isn't anything that hasn't been repeated thousands of time, even on LHCF.

I am 99.9% sure that it is from this book, If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs. http://www.amazon.com/Want-Closure-...=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1285026538&sr=8-1 I hate when folks don't cite their sources. OP my rant isn't directed at you, it is too the person who orginally posted that information.

 

[LongTimeComing]

Totally agree. It is amazing how simple this stuff is and how many ignore it.

 

[lea86111]

i dont think this is common sense especially when many many many women do this all the time! Most of the time you figure this out because of experience. But there are some women on LHCF who might read this and may conduct themselves in a way they wouldnt otherwise.
also i dont care if anyone thinks this is redundant, it's a good message and i dont mind reading it many a times.

i hv no idea who wrote this stuff. I read it on sandra rose in one of the comments the girl said she received it in an e mail so it very well could be from steve harvey.

 

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

A great majority of what he wrote should be common sense however, we all know a woman (or some women) who keep repeating the same mistakes then hoping the results will be different.

Now, my biggest issue are the women who only sleep with men yet get upset when he's actually interested in another woman (i.e. wanting to actually date her). If a man doesn't want to take you out in public, that's not my problem.

 

[Rosebud01]

Ur right op I learned most of this from experience... maybe if we repeat it enough it will sink into the minds of the ladies the need to hear it !

 

[Choclatcotton]

So sad but society and Hollywood says its glam to sleep around

 

[ThickHair]

i dont think this is common sense especially when many many many women do this all the time! Most of the time you figure this out because of experience. But there are some women on LHCF who might read this and may conduct themselves in a way they wouldnt otherwise.
also i dont care if anyone thinks this is redundant, it's a good message and i dont mind reading it many a times.

OP, I think for sane woman, normal thinking woman, this it is common sense but a lot of us ignore the little tingle in the gut (common sense) that tells us something is not right. We think we are the one and it doesn't apply to us in "this situation". I swear if all of us ladies went with our gut (which is our common sense) we would save ourselves a lot of heart ache. Drama Queens and Drama Kings do not have the gut (common sense) they thrive on nonsense. Also the sane person's fear of being along will have otherwise sane people do crazy things. So, for the most part we do have the common sense that the good Lord gave us, we don't use it or we choose to ignore it until things get very heavy or we are in very deep then it comes out and those of use who are sane will exit from the situation. Yes we are hurt, yes we are pissed but we recognized BS for what it was. It just takes some longer than other to get out.

To sum it up, I agree that this is common sense. Those who don't realize that it is common sense, will need more than this repeated hundreds of times and for the most part it doesn't sink in, tis life is all.

 

[lesedi]

^^^^^^^^^^
Since there is no 'thanks' button. Needed to say thankyou @ThickHair
I completely agree.

 

[MD_Lady]

Since the 'thanks' button is gone AGAIN, I wanted to thank you for the entire post and ESPECIALLY the bolded.

OP, I think for sane woman, normal thinking woman, this it is common sense but a lot of us ignore the little tingle in the gut (common sense) that tells us something is not right. We think we are the one and it doesn't apply to us in "this situation". I swear if all of us ladies went with our gut (which is our common sense) we would save ourselves a lot of heart ache. Drama Queens and Drama Kings do not have the gut (common sense) they thrive on nonsense. Also the sane person's fear of being along will have otherwise sane people do crazy things. So, for the most part we do have the common sense that the good Lord gave us, we don't use it or we choose to ignore it until things get very heavy or we are in very deep then it comes out and those of use who are sane will exit from the situation. Yes we are hurt, yes we are pissed but we recognized BS for what it was. It just takes some longer than other to get out.

To sum it up, I agree that this is common sense. Those who don't realize that it is common sense, will need more than this repeated hundreds of times and for the most part it doesn't sink in, tis life is all.

 

[awhyley]

he said exactly what the hel he meant. BM dont have to lie when so many BW are already DEAF.

This part rings so true. So many of these behaviors are utterly blatant, and many of us either blow it off or find excuses as to why 'our man' ain't acting properly.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

Here's the problem: what was said makes sense. However, too many women try to go down this road of "I'm grown, I should be able to have sex" when someone says this kind of thing.

Honestly this is why waiting until marriage is a good thing. As this person said, women TRY to act like they can have sex without getting caught up, but the truth is that there are very few women who can actually do that. But so many women get angry when someone says that, as if the implication is that they are weak. The response is that they can "have sex like a man." No, you can't and you shouldn't WANT to. There is nothing wrong with having emotions along with sex. The issue is waiting to have sex with the right person and NOT someone you just met and who isn't putting a ring on your finger.

(waiting for the backlash that inevitably comes with the "wait until marriage" discussion)

 

[dannie]

Good advice and all but most of its common sense. If you need this much direction in dealing with the opposite sex, this article is not going to help you because most likely you're a chickenhead.

I really wish more black men would worry about their own gentials. I'm sick and tried of these bs articles trying to school black women, but I hardly ever run across one geared towards a man, written by a man. And truth be told they need the most damn help. How about this... I'll keep my legs closed when you keep your penis in your pants. EVERYBODY IS REPONSIBLE FOR THEIR OWN BEHAVIOR. Except black women of course, because we're responsible for everyone. :eyeroll:

 

[ThickHair]

Good advice and all but most of its common sense. If you need this much direction in dealing with the opposite sex, this article is not going to help you because most likely you're a chickenhead.

You aint neva lied about ^^^^^ Cluck on, cluck on.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Here's the problem: what was said makes sense. However, too many women try to go down this road of "I'm grown, I should be able to have sex" when someone says this kind of thing.

Honestly this is why waiting until marriage is a good thing. As this person said, women TRY to act like they can have sex without getting caught up, but the truth is that there are very few women who can actually do that. But so many women get angry when someone says that, as if the implication is that they are weak. The response is that they can "have sex like a man." No, you can't and you shouldn't WANT to. There is nothing wrong with having emotions along with sex. The issue is waiting to have sex with the right person and NOT someone you just met and who isn't putting a ring on your finger.

(waiting for the backlash that inevitably comes with the "wait until marriage" discussion)

THANK YOU.

I too am definitely an advocate for waiting until marriage to have sex, however I know that this type of notion these days is very rare and considered very taboo. I'm not going to turn this into a "virgin until marriage" debate, but I did just want to say that what you said is very true. Very true indeed. When you have MEN telling women that they should wait until having sex, that tells you something. Most men wouldn't want to tell women that obviously because it would defeat their own purpose/needs. So if a man is telling you this, you can pretty much bet that he's telling the truth.

 

[Makenzie]

You would think this was common sense but it isn't. Just look around and see all the women doing the complete opposite. They are either ignoring that voice in their head or that voice is simply not there. Women are so different than men emotionally a lot of time we get caught up in the scenarios in our head not realizing that they don't match reality.

Women who are about something and refuse to get caught up in these type relationships either learned from someone or experience. Either way they were taught. I don't have a problem with articles such as this. We can roll our eyes and say we already know this, but there are a lot of women who don't, or who need a refresher course because they are slipping.

Also, no matter how much we say this will never happen to us, it very well can. We can be so busy avoiding Tyrone's obvious hustle on us that we miss the fact smooth Dion is running a similar line and let him in our lives. It never hurts to have a reminder, especially from a man. Women can write articles all day long and have excellent information, but I love hearing a man's viewpoint.

 

[lesedi]

I really wish more black men would worry about their own gentials. I'm sick and tried of these bs articles trying to school black women, but I hardly ever run across one geared towards a man, written by a man. And truth be told they need the most damn help. How about this... I'll keep my legs closed when you keep your penis in your pants. EVERYBODY IS REPONSIBLE FOR THEIR OWN BEHAVIOR. Except black women of course, because we're responsible for everyone. :eyeroll:

I just couldn't agree with this more!

and mods: CAN YOU BRING BACK THE THANKS BUTTON PLEASE???? all this quoting is tiring

 

[nikolite]

So I'm going to disobey you and post because I have no self control

girl...why are you posting this....from your phone? Was this THAT urgent that you couldn't wait til you got home to post? (you don't have to answer...just continue posting them. I just needed to get my thoughts out)

Anywho, I apologize for the interruption. Continue.

LOL you ain't right! You just completely broke the flow but that's okay because it was a funny interlude.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

THANK YOU.

I too am definitely an advocate for waiting until marriage to have sex, however I know that this type of notion these days is very rare and considered very taboo. I'm not going to turn this into a "virgin until marriage" debate, but I did just want to say that what you said is very true. Very true indeed. When you have MEN telling women that they should wait until having sex, that tells you something. Most men wouldn't want to tell women that obviously because it would defeat their own purpose/needs. So if a man is telling you this, you can pretty much bet that he's telling the truth.

AMEN. But you really have to wonder why women won't even listen to what men tell them. We claim we want to know what they are thinking, but when they actually TELL us, we block it out anyway.

 

[Makenzie]

AMEN. But you really have to wonder why women won't even listen to what men tell them. We claim we want to know what they are thinking, but when they actually TELL us, we block it out anyway.